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Steve watched out of the corner of his eye as Jonathan ran into Nancy's arms in the Wheeler driveway. He wasn't jealous, per se, not jealous of them seeing each other first. He was trying to convince himself that he wasn't. The clawing feeling in his gut was from his injuries, that was all it was.
Robin's hand came to rest on his shoulder, squeezing at the worn fabric of his shirt. She gently guided him away and he sighed, letting her. He instead moved to greet El and Will, clasping their arms and checking them over for injuries. They were the kids he'd spent the least time with, but it felt like second nature to gently tilt their heads to check their jaws and necks and ask if they were alright. Will seemed completely unharmed (if not shaken), but El's skin was covered in bruises.
She seemed more concerned about her shorn hair, something that broke his heart. He rubbed a hand over it and it bristled against his scuffed up palms, but she smiled when he told her it looked badass. It was good to see her again, even if he ached for her, for the losses she'd faced and clearly continued to face.
He let her pass him, smiling when he heard the loud laughter of her and Will and Dustin reuniting. It was good for the kids to be around each other again, to be together. He lifted his head as footsteps approached him. Jonathan stood there with glassy eyes, a weak smile on his lips. "Hi Steve."
"Hey." Steve stepped closer to him, opening his arms to silently offer a hug. Jonathan easily fell against him and held on tight. "I missed you," Steve whispered. "So much." The hug hurt like hell, his sides and his back didn't appreciate the pressure, but he didn't care, he needed this more than he needed to not be in pain. He'd basically been healing for a day and a half anyway. He shoved his face into Jonathan's hair. It was long and greasy and unwashed, but Steve didn't care.
"I missed you too." Jonathan pulled away after a moment. "You're shaking. Why are you shaking?"
Steve wiped a hand over his face, checking for tears, but he wasn't crying. "A lot has happened in the last few days." He pressed a hand to his side, it felt like the injuries were pulsing, like they were going to burst back open, the scabs would tear open all over again.
"I figured as much." Jonathan looked down the street, watched as cars passed, heading for the edge of town. "Are you hurt?" Steve stayed quiet and Jonathan's frown deepened. "How bad is it?"
"It's pretty bad." Robin nudged her shoulder up against Steve's. Not as hard as she usually would, but hard enough that it still made him ache. "Everything is pretty bad right now."
"Steve." Jonathan cupped his jaw and tilted his head to inspect the bruising on his temple. "How bad is it? How hurt are you?"
Steve shifted his weight on aching feet. "I'm in bad shape," he confessed. "Pretty bad shape, I'm in a lot of pain and I think I lost a lot of blood in the Upside Down."
Jonathan tensed and Steve took a half step back. "You were down there?"
"Yeah." He didn't have the energy to try and lie anymore, didn't think he'd be able to get more lies off his tongue. "Us and Nancy and Ed-" Steve choked on Eddie's name, something like grief tearing him apart.
Robin reached out to clutch his hand and he stared down at the ground. His hearing swam and he just held onto Robin as she talked to Jonathan. He caught snippets of conversation and just wanted to sit down for awhile. Nancy offered to drive the kids to the hospital to see Max, and before Steve could say he was going to go to the high school to help volunteer, Robin squeezed his hand again. "Jonathan, why don't you and Steve get out of here for a little while? Take him home and give him a hand, I know the earthquakes left him with some tidying to do."
"Sure," Jonathan answered easily. "We'll go over to Hopper's cabin after and see what we can do with what's left of it."
"Why?"
"We need to stay somewhere."
"Stay with me." Steve reached out to grasp Jonathan's arm. "I have the room."
Jonathan frowned and glanced over at El, who was taking with Dustin in hushed voices. "She misses her dad. I want her to have... some kind of closure."
"Okay." Steve's chest hurt for some reason, but he was floundering. He wanted to hide himself away with Jonathan, wanted to cling to him because he was here, he was here and he was alive and he made Steve feel... made him feel...
"El, can you give Argyle directions to the cabin? Steve and I will meet you there soon." Jonathan gripped Steve's arm as Nancy told El she'd bring the boys there later. "I've gotta give him a hand at his place."
Steve felt like he was a little to the left of his body as Jonathan pulled him over to his car. The inside was a mess, blood and torn clothes and... and...
Steve was pushed into the passenger seat, a strong hand squeezing his shoulder. "Robin...?"
"Robin's gonna catch a ride with Nancy and get dropped off at the school with Dustin." Jonathan climbed into the drivers seat and held his hand out for keys. Steve passed them over wordlessly.
The drive was silent for a few moments before Steve found his voice again. "How was the drive from California?"
Jonathan huffed a laugh. He sounded as exhausted as Steve felt. "Awful. Stifling. I'm pretty sure Mike and El are broken up for good. Will was miserable. Argyle hasn't smoked in days and was getting jittery, I'm sure it'll only be worse by the time we catch up to them. But... I guess we'll all be alright. As okay as we can be. El's the only one who got hurt, though we're all..." He shook his head as Steve looked over and waved him off. "It was rough," he said after a beat passed.
"Sounds rough." Steve crossed his arms over his gut. He felt like his body was being ripped apart again. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that."
"I am too, honestly. That doesn't even bring up the times we got shot at. Or the body we buried." His grip tightened on the wheel, but Steve couldn't look away from his face.
"Shot at?"
"Yeah. El got arrested and then-"
"El got arrested?"
"Yeah." Jonathan sounded so tired. "She hit a girl in the face with a roller skate, Will said the girl had been bullying her for awhile. A couple agents showed up and were keeping us in the house. I guess the government can't decide if they want El dead or not. It's awful."
"Where was your mom?"
"Alaska. So she says." He looked close to tears now and Steve felt bad for pushing. "I don't know where she really is, she won't answer the phone, but I'm almost totally sure the number is fake." He pulled up to the Harrington house.
"Shit." Steve unbuckled himself and sat up straighter. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry too. That I wasn't here to help you with everything that happened. That you weren't with us to help in California. If we were together, then maybe..."
"Maybe it would've been different," Steve finished. "Yeah. I thought about that too."
"Come on. I'm sure you need help rewrapping whatever wounds you have."
And it was definitely past time for that, so he just nodded and got out of the car. He led Jonathan inside and past the disaster in the living room.
It wasn't much of a disaster, all things considered. The art and photos that had been on the walls had fallen, things that had been on shelves were scattered on the floor, some shattered. He had been so busy that there just hadn't been time for it. Jonathan didn't comment on it, didn't even say anything when Steve pulled him past his bedroom and into one of the guest rooms.
There had been less to fall and break, he'd been tired enough when he’d finally gotten home that he needed somewhere he didn't need to clean up first. "There's a mostly stocked first aid kit in the bathroom." Steve gestured towards the hall and sat on the bed, starting to strip off his shirt.
He let it fall to the floor and began to unwrap the bandages around his torso, grimacing at the places where they'd stuck and pulled. Jonathan took a sharp breath when he saw and Steve couldn't bring himself to meet his gaze. "Jesus. What... what did this to you?"
"Bats. There were... there were bats down there. They had awful teeth like the demogorgon and the dogs, these awful tails that were worse than the vines, they were like barbed wire or- or rose stems."
Jonathan tilted up his chin again and his thumb traced the shape of the bruising around his throat. Steve hissed, even the lightest pressure against it painful, but he didn't flinched away or push Jonathan. "This must hurt." His voice was sad as he leaned in closer. He pressed a delicate kiss to the skin, just a brush of his lips.
"Jonathan..."
"Let me take care of you. You're safe, Steve."
"Safe...?"
"You're safe." Jonathan leaned their foreheads together. "I promise you're safe right now."
Steve closed his eyes and lifted up his arms and grimaced, but let Jonathan begin to re-bandage him. He wiped at the bites and road rash with a damp cloth to clean up where it needed it, but it didn't hurt as bad as doing it himself or having Robin help. Jonathan's touch, his presence, it made Steve feel comforted in a way he hadn't expected.
He'd worried they didn't really get along, that they hadn't been friends at all. But after Starcourt, when the Byers and El had been getting ready to leave, Jonathan had reached out to him, had slipped him the new house's number and made him promise to call.
And he had. They'd talked almost every week, about everything and nothing. They'd talked about fears, about nightmares. About hope, about Jonathan's new school and the kids. About work at Family Video and the weird customer stories he'd collected. About Argyle, Jonathan's new best friend who, unfortunately, actually did sound pretty cool. Despite his jealousy, Steve wanted to meet him, the guy who made Jonathan so happy when he couldn't.
And now, when he finally had the chance, he didn't have the energy to get to know him or talk.
Steve closed his eyes. He hadn't slept much since climbing out of the Upside Down. He'd tried, god, he'd tried. The best sleep he'd gotten was a few hours on the Buckley's couch when Robin had dragged him inside after their first shift of volunteering. He'd tried to sleep at home, but any time he laid down on his bed, his whole body throbbed, he couldn't find a comfortable position.
Jonathan stroked his hair, his touch gentle. It felt so nice, such a strong contrast to his aching body. "How is that? Too tight?"
"No. No, that's good." Steve shifted when Jonathan moved him. He tried not to wince as fingertips brushed over the road rash on the back of his arms. "Ow..."
"Sorry. God, it looks like you were dragged by a truck."
"Feels like I was. At least, I assume it would feel something like this." Steve grimaced and twisted to face him again. "Okay, that's enough touching for now."
Jonathan frowned, but didn't fight him on it. "Okay. Okay, we can be done." He closed the first aid kit and tucked it under the edge of the bed. "Now it'll be right here for your next bandage change."
Steve wanted to insist that Jonathan go take a shower, but even more than that, he wanted to be held. He shuffled back on the bed and gingerly lowered himself onto his side. "I'm so tired," he sighed.
"Oh, right. Um, should I go? I don't have a ride, but if you have a walkie, I can-"
"That's not what I meant." Steve weakly reached out for him, fingers wrapping around his wrist. "Come here. Please, I missed you."
Jonathan looked down at himself. "I've been wearing these clothes for like, a week straight and-"
"And I don't care. I just want to hold you."
Jonathan didn't take any more convincing. He got into bed and let himself be pulled in close, Steve immediately tucking his face into his shoulder. He smelled like stale sweat, he really didn't smell good at all, but Steve had meant it. He didn't care. He didn't care because Jonathan was here and real and solid.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked softly. "You mentioned being shot at, you weren't... you weren't hurt, were you?"
"No." Jonathan's lips pressed against the top of his head. "No, I wasn't hurt. None of us were hit by any bullets, not me or Argyle or the kids..."
The way he said it made it sound like someone had been hit by bullets, even if it was someone else. But Steve just nodded against his shoulder and closed his eyes. "Nap with me?"
"A nap sounds perfect, Steve." Jonathan cradled the back of his head and maybe it was all way more simple than it had to be, because Steve found himself drifting in moments, clinging to Jonathan like he was the only thing keeping him tethered.