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The first time he sees the baby, her tiny body encased in a box so she can breathe, he stills completely. He has a strong urge to take her up in his arms. He does not give in to it.
She is so, so fragile, and he was never taught to love gently.
He will have to learn. Because from the first moment he saw her, he swore to protect her with his life.
=====
Caring for a baby on Jabberwock is a weird change, but one they all take up eagerly. She does three main things: eat, sleep and shit. Simple as that.
She was born with weak lungs, but from how much she cries, it sounds like she's doing much better now. She’ll cry throughout the night, but it's not like they sleep well anyways. More than once it's led to a little group of them huddling together, keeping the night’s biting thoughts out with each other's presence.
It's a simplicity they're all grateful for.
He keeps insisting that he's not the father. They don't know for sure, and what difference would it make, really? It's Peko's baby. She's healthy. That's what's important.
(He keeps being ignored.)
"Ah, look, Chibi Peko-chan, there’s your not-father!" Sonia has the baby on her lap, and points him out to her.
"Don't ffffricking call me that." The others have a bet going on that the baby's first word is going to be a swear word. It's stupid, but he sure as hell isn't going to lose it. (Besides, he’s sure his own first words were swear words as well.)
"Fathern't, then?" Sonia suggests.
Kuzuryuu decides to ignore her.
The baby can barely move, but she does speak. Or at least, she tries to. If you speak to her, she'll make noises in response, like you're having a conversation. He knows Sonia in particular loves to do that with her.
She babbles happily to him as he gets close to her, without him even saying anything. Nowadays, it’s a little habit of hers.
…She does four main things: eat, sleep, shit and be cute as hell.
=====
He already knows he wouldn't be good at taking care of a child. But at the same time, it’s Peko’s, and he's sure as hell not just going to sit on his ass whilst the others do it.
It's simpler then he thought. If he grabs the baby, she just stays still. She’s often all swaddled up, a little pink face in a cocoon, peering up at him with soft red eyes. The first time he did it, he just stared at her. She stared right back, and then her tiny body shook with giggles.
He tried cradling her in his arms after that. Soft and warm, snug in his arms. She rocked gently with the movement of his chest, making him aware of each and every breath. He stared in wonder as her little eyes drooped, as she dropped off to sleep.
=====
As time passes, the baby starts to grow. Maybe that should be obvious, but hell, he's never raised a baby before. She’s starting to grow hair as well, a thin bowl of silver around her scalp.
(Kazuichi said they had the same hairstyle, and he almost punched him.)
The others call her Chibi Peko as a placeholder for her name, but he avoids it. She is her, and she is not.
(Was Peko this soft and simple as a child? Will he be able to protect her from everything they went through?)
The baby is also starting to develop freckles. Which is not helping with the unconvinced looks he gets when he insists he's not the father. (Maybe Peko slept with someone else who also had freckles! Is that really out of the question??)
But he still can only wonder why Peko didn't tell him. Though part of him already knows the answer: they were Despairs. They were both monsters.
(Was she trying to protect her?)
It's a train of thought as fruitless as wondering if he's the father himself. Either way, he's got a baby to take care of. That's probably how Peko would see it, she's always been practical like that.
He’ll just have to ask her when she wakes up.
=====
The baby is swaddled less today, unveiling her pink, grasping hands.
He knows more about raising babies now, but he's still no expert. Still, he knows that an important step of development is learning how to use a gun. He can't quite remember when he did it, only that he was young.
Her fingers are forming soft fists, and he carefully pries them open. Nope, way too small.
As he lays his fingers against her palm, she closes her hand, grabbing onto his finger.
"A grappler, eh? We can work with that." He cannot stop himself from smiling. She babbles back to him, because of course she does, and he smiles wider. She is so, so fragile, but somehow, he's making it work.
He tries to pull his finger away gently, but she holds on. He wonders if she's inherited Peko's spirit. As he realises she won't let go, she giggles slightly.
"I love you."
It slips out of his mouth, and instantly he is darting his head around to check if anyone's there, readying some prickly words. But no, it is only them.
"Alright. You didn't hear that, got it?" The baby looks up at him quietly, still smiling, and gives a tiny nod. Not a snitch, good sign.
Still, he can't bring himself to take it back.
=====
The self-professed aunties and uncles (and whatever stupid nickname they’ve decided to use for him that day) aren't perfect at raising the baby, either, and somehow he’s the one who’s had to step up to making sure it doesn’t get too out of hand.
He still doesn't know much about babies, but he knows enough that Akane just plopping her on the roof to 'let her explore' when she can barely move is a bad idea, even if that’s what she did as a kid. That she's too young to have a car custom-made for her, no matter how 'sick' it would be. That no, Sonia, she is too young to learn how to operate a tank! Where the hell would they get a tank from, anyways??
His former classmates look at him fondly as he steps in, and he knows exactly what is on their minds. He warns them not to say it. (They don't know for sure!)
From the smiles on their faces, he knows they’re thinking it anyways.
=====
One day, he takes the child up in his arms, and takes her to the place she has a right to see.
He knows the others have taken her here before, but he has some strange urge to do it himself. To see her again.
The echo is louder than his footsteps. She grasps onto his shirt.
Stillness, silence, aside from the faint whirr and beep of the pods. They put a lightbulb in to offset the ominous glow, but it is not enough.
He doesn’t have to think. His legs move, and then he is before her. She is the same as last time, scars littering her body, silver hair loose and dripping over her body. Amongst all her scars, she has one more, laying horizontal along her stomach. Stretch marks prickled into her skin.
It's not fair.
He wants to smash open the glass, to tear the wires from her skin. For her eyes to flutter open, chest hovering against his body as she gasps for breath. He takes a step closer.
He gets to move on, while she is imprisoned here.
The child wriggles slightly in his arms. He blinks and looks down at her. His arms are occupied, he cannot leave her.
(Nothing about it is fair, anyways. None of them deserved a second chance. But they still got one.)
So he drags a chair over and sits between the both of them. She wishes Peko could see her, embrace her, like he knows she'd love to, but breaking things isn't going to get them anywhere. If there’s one thing he learned from his Remnant years, it is that.
But it isn't about that right now. He takes a deep breath in.
"That's your mother." He holds the child out to her, and she raises an arm, reaching out. "She may not be awake, but she loves you. I just know it."
The baby is silent, staring at Peko, hand still outstretched.
"All I ask," his voice is soft, barely a whisper, "is that you love her back."
The baby doesn’t babble back. She peers up at him, and then they both look at Peko in silence.
Peko's body looks tired, but on a closer look, she looks satisfied as well.