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14-year-old Jonothon Starsmore waited outside the big mansion, Emma’s hand resting on his shoulder.
‘This is Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters,’ Emma said in Jono’s mind, something he was still trying to get used to.
‘I don’t feel very gifted Miss. Frost,’ Jono’s young voice echoed.
‘No one does at first, but you will.’ She encouraged, with genuine belief. ‘You will.’
Despite her confidence, Jono didn’t really believe the nice lady with silky hair and a conviction he couldn’t even dream of having. In all honesty, Jono felt pretty lousy. Just a month ago he was singing and playing guitar with his bandmates for a school dance when his mutant power manifested. Suddenly psionic energy was bursting from his body, blasting his guts across the gym floor, leaving him with no jaw or chest and absolutely no organs.
Now? He’s enrolled in a school for freaks. Oh sorry, gifted freaks. He was upset, but over the past month, the young teen discovered he had also lost his ability to shed tears. Made sense. It’s like. Basic science, innit? No water means no tears. He couldn’t eat or drink but somehow he was still alive. Some people might look at that as a gift. But Jono? He saw it as nothing but a sick joke.
‘I understand your frustration but I will not condone you calling your fellow classmates freaks,’ Emma’s voice spooked him out of his thoughts.
‘Hey,’ Jono protested, brows furrowing in anger, ‘you said you’d never read my mind.’
The boy's reaction amused Emma, ‘I didn’t. You were projecting my dear,’ she said.
‘Well how was I supposed to know…’ Jono mumbled with a sharpness, scuffing his foot on the ground.
‘Don’t worry Mr. Starsmore. That’s why you’re here. To learn how to control your powers and gifts. I’ll be there to help you every step of the way, but first, a tour.’ Emma said, ignoring the attitude and fixing the stray hairs. ‘Come, come, lots to do,’ She said, waving the young teen along.
The boy followed the headmistress up the steps, tripping over his laces and being caught by an invisible force. He glanced up to see Emma giving him a slight smirk down. It was always fun to impress newcomers with the smallest of feats.
‘How’d you do that?’
‘Telepathic forcefield,’ she said, ‘you’ll learn soon,’ she reassured him.
The two reached the front door where they were met with a man with his arms crossed over his chest as if to add to his aura of authority that already radiated from him. He wore a visor that covered his eyes. Jono wondered what it was for. X-ray goggles? Night vision? Curiosity surged through him.
The man called Cyclops let out a light huff of a laugh to which Jono turned red.
‘You’re projecting again,’ Emma quipped softly. Not scolding him but merely letting him know. In a way, she was endeared.
Jono felt embarrassed, ‘Bloody wonderful.’ his words rang sarcastically.
Cyclops chuckled with a crooked smile.
“Hello, Jonothon,” he said, holding his hand out for him to shake. “I’m Scott Summers but in the field I’m Cyclops,” he said as Jono shook his hand hesitantly. “And these aren't x-ray or night vision goggles, although that would be pretty neat,” Scott said, seemingly distracted by the notion for a second before coming back, “but no, these bad boys help me control my optic blasts by using ruby quartz to keep them contained,” he said, standing up to demonstrate by touching the side gently and shooting off a light beam with little to no force behind it.
‘Like lasers?’ Jono questioned.
Cyclops chuckled, “No, not lasers. Concussive blasts, but I can start fires using friction.” He stated. “See, I can control the force and distance with them,” he explained, “but without? Can’t open my eyes without leveling this building and causing a lot of casualties.” He said. Jono felt the familiar ache behind his eyes as he was reminded of that night at the school dance again.
‘So…you can’t turn it off…?’ Jono questioned, wrapping his head around the idea.
Scott shook his head, looking a little grim, “no, but,” he said, standing straighter, “this,” he said, tapping the front of the visor lightly to prove a point, “helps me live a somewhat normal life. As normal as one can,” he explained, “I even have formal glasses for special occasions,” he noted, giving a glance towards Emma that did not go unnoticed by Jono.
‘You’re a dork,’ Emma commented privately to Cyclops.
‘I’m trying to be serious here, Emma,’ Scott defended, although Emma could hear the flustered tone.
‘Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Serious Leader,’ she teased lightly, all in playful fun as Emma had full belief in Scott’s capabilities. It was just nice to see him be…him for a change.
‘Does that mean you can stop this?’ Jono asked hopefully, referring to the pure psionic energy pouring from his chest. ‘Can you make it stop hurting?’ He questioned.
The two X-men snapped out of their private banter at the Jonothon’s question.
Cyclops’ mouth formed a tight line, “we’ll do our best to help control it,” he said, “but if I’m honest, you might not like the solution.” he said.
‘Well don’t scare the poor kid,’ Emma scolded.
‘I’m not trying to, Emma,’ Cyclops bit back slightly, ‘I just don’t want to give him false hope.'
Emma gave Scott a subtle glance, brows furrowed as Scott kept talking to Jono.
“We should continue the tour,” Scott said, demeanor shifting ever so slightly.
Not enough for a normal person to notice, but his girlfriend, a highly trained telepath, spotted it immediately.
Emma glanced at the way Scott’s jaw clenched and unclenched ever so slightly. She could feel the nerves radiating off him.
‘Go,’ she said sympathetically, ‘I’ll finish the tour,’ she echoed in Scott’s mind gently.
Scott checked his watch, almost anxiously, Jono noticed. He hummed to himself, “It’s almost 3,” Scott said, “I told Dani I'd meet with her to discuss Joshua’s admission.” Scott lied smoothly. He turned to Jono and nodded, “Emma will help finish your tour and get you settled.” He said, “You’re in good hands and if you ever need anything, you know where our offices are.” Scott explained, “Welcome to the Institute,” he said with a small half smile, making sure the charm was on before turning around and making a beeline straight to his office.
Emma of course felt bad for him but as a headmistress, she had to prioritize. Scott, while very dear to Emma, was a grown man and could handle this by himself until Emma got Jono situated in his room.
Jono had been monitoring the situation, he couldn’t specify exactly what he felt but there were loads of psychic energy flowing between the two. They were talking to each other; he just couldn’t figure out what it was about. Could it be him? Did Scott leave because he didn’t like what he saw? Had he already been rejected for being too much of a freak for a school full of freaks? Must’ve been a new record.
Jono’s demeanor shifted. He hung behind Emma, trailing along, hoping this godforsaken tour would end already. He was stupid to think she was different, that she cared about him, this was just her job. Grabbing weirdos off the street to make themselves feel better but even they couldn’t deal with a monster like him.
Emma felt the shift in demeanor. She would typically look down on one’s self-pity but Jono? Well, he deserved a few moments of cynicism in her mind. He was still grieving his old self. As long as he didn’t pose a threat to himself or the school, she’d leave him be. She’d watch him, of course, but she’s learned getting involved in these situations just makes it harder to connect in the long run.
The tour ended, finally, Jono thought. The boy was tired and in pain and all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep for a good 10 years. Maybe that’d be enough time to wake him from this sick nightmare.
The boy walked in and frowned, seeing the stupid costume and some random mummy bandages.
‘Oh great, a gift.’ Jono spat bitterly.
Emma sighed softly, 'it will help contain and control your powers. As Cyclops said, it’s not a perfect solution but,’
‘It’s not a solution at all!’ Jono snapped in her mind, ‘There’s nothing normal about wearing bloody bandages for the rest of my miserable life while your little boy toy just spews your company bullshit.’ Jono seethed.
He took his self-hatred and directed it elsewhere, trying to find someone to blame for what had happened.
Emma was shocked by the child’s sudden verbal harassment, ‘As I said before I won’t tolerate disrespect to fellow mutants. That includes your teachers and headmasters. Do you understand me, Jonothon? You’re angry and I understand that but it’s not us you’re angry with. Do not burn bridges before you get to build them,’ she said.
‘All I do is burn, lady,’ he spat, gesturing to his body before crossing his arms, ‘I thought the tour ended. Doesn’t that mean you leave me alone?’ He asked dryly.
Emma raised an eyebrow, amused by the teen's confidence. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself. She was supposed to be setting examples, not bickering with students.
‘As Scott said, if you need anything,’
‘Yeah, yeah, your office or whatever.’ He replied, already rolling over and covering himself with the resistant blankets.
Emma hummed softly before leaving and closing the door.
Jono felt like shit. The massive hole in his chest was aching, his head hurt, and there was pressure building behind his eyes. The act of crying, just barely out of reach. A pressure built up in his head and his mind slowly started to haze over, as if his mind was stuttering. Jono felt energy pulse from his newly formed chest cavern and curled up tighter. He watched in anger as the blankets wouldn’t burst from the energy. Jono felt his insides burn and clenched his fists tighter, digging his nails into his skin for the slightest bit of relief. He just had to clear his mind, clear his mind and he’d be fine. He’d stop. He felt energy gently bleed from his hands, small bubbles waiting to be released. Jono looked at the pure energy and felt nothing but disgust.
‘Oh, fuck this.’ He thought to himself as he looked around for his backpack.
Jono opened the raggedy bag that was hanging on by a few threads, rummaging through it angrily. Time felt distant. He wasn’t thinking clearly, hell he didn’t even know if he was real anymore.
Jono found his saving grace. The one thing that gave him some peace of mind during this newfound hell he called life was an Altoids container; but it wasn’t the case itself, more so what it held. Jono opened the tin to be greeted with about 19 little unopened razor blades. What could he say? They usually came in packs of 10 and he forgot he bought some before, so now? He just kept them in case.
The new mutant promised himself he’d quit. He even told his mum he’d stop when she caught him after a nasty argument with his father but alas, here he was. Jono carefully took his razor out, about a month old, well-loved but not yet rusty which was a good sign. He let his fingertips trace along the edge ever so gently. He bent the blade a little, wondering how such a flimsy piece of metal could do so much damage.
Jono took the blade, resting it against his rolled-up sleeves, swiping lightly with decent pressure. He waited and hoped. He used to hate this part, the white before the blood slowly pooling in the fresh cuts, the only thing stopping it from spilling, the surface tension. Jono missed it. He watched with desire being left frustrated and unsatisfied as energy started to flow out of his cuts and radiate from his forearms. Jono didn’t accept that. The young mutant kept digging in deeper, every nerve going off in pain and alarm but the boy enjoyed it. It helped make him feel human as long as he didn’t look down.
He looked down.
Jono saw his arms and felt angry. His right arm had a lot more damage than his left. He saw energy seep out and felt it pull him in. It was a lot like blood. It flowed and pooled but the color was missing and he missed that color.
Pulling himself together was a lot quicker than before he admitted. A lot less clean up and he seemed to heal soon after he cut, depending on the depth.
The boy rolled his sleeves down and put the case back in his bag, already feeling a bit lighter.
Jono looked around at the unpacked boxes and realized he needed more vinyl. His boxes were being sent to him but that would take ages. He thought for a moment before shrugging. Hey! She said if he needed anything to ask her and well, he needed vinyl.
Jono walked around the mansion, trying to remember where Scott or Emma’s offices were. He was not paying attention during that tour. He did not care about Scott going on about the molding of the mansion or whatever. He seemed to get turned around, ending up right next to the picture of the first class of X-Men.
“I remember that day like it was yesterday,” Scott said, suddenly behind Jonothon, casting a shadow over the boy.
‘I wasn’t-’ Jono started, then faltered, wondering why he was nervous. This was technically his home now.
Scott held his hand up, waving him off, “It’s fine. You’re exploring.” He said. “Besides, it’s hanging up in the lounge. Everyone’s seen it. It’s a nice memory of where we started,” Scott said.
‘Uh-huh, yeah,’ Jono said uninterestedly, ‘do you know where Miss. Frost is?’ he asked.
Scott raised an eyebrow, “No. Why? What do you need? Maybe I can help?” He offered.
‘No.’ came a simple response.
“O-kay then…” Scott said awkwardly. “Well I don’t know where she is but I could help you find her.” He offered.
Jono looked apprehensive and a bit annoyed but he accepted. He wasn’t about to walk in circles again.
“Have you checked her office?” Scott questioned, leading Jono to the one area he did not check.
‘Obviously,’ Jono lied.
“Mhm,” Scott replied, not calling the boy out.
The two men walked into Emma’s extravagant office with crystal-like stained glass and golden accents.
“Scott,” She said, ‘Mr. Starsmore,’ she rang in his mind, ‘ What can I help you with ?’
“Just helping Jono find his way around,” Scott said.
Emma rested her elbows on her desk, chin resting on her fingertips, ‘ What can I do for you, Mr. Starsmore? ’
‘I need vinyl. Take me into town, please.’ He said.
Scott raised an eyebrow. He thought the kid needed something serious but he just wanted some music?
“You want music?” Scott asked. “We have a walkman around here somewhere or one of those neat little new mp3s,” he rambled, “Technology,” He said in a fascinated tone.
‘I said vinyl.’ Jono said, a bit of attitude naturally seeping through his tone.
Scott frowned slightly, “isn’t music, music?” he questioned, not understanding the difference between a record player or an mp3 besides the form. They both do the same thing, right?
Emma’s mouth quirked up into a small smile, “Yes, sweetie,” Emma said, seemingly reading his thoughts and confusion, “but there’s something about the sound of music on vinyl that a simple device just can’t achieve,” Emma mused gently.
If Jono could smile, he’d be beaming. She understood.
‘Exactly Miss. Frost,’ he said, ‘and considering my belongings won’t be here for some time,’
‘Of course,’ she said with a nod, ‘Scott and I can take you into town. It’ll be a good chance for you to meet some teammates and mingle.’ She explained.
Jono’s mood soured. Going with Mr. Summers was bad enough, he had to meet other kids too? Jono sighed internally, anything for the vinyl.
‘Fine,’ Jono huffed, ‘but can we go now before it’s late please?’ He asked impatiently.
The kid seemed to forget these two adults he was seemingly bossing around were in charge of this school and could kick him out or maybe he just didn’t care. Jono was never a fan of authority figures. Hell, he started a whole damn band just to defy his school’s ruddy rules.
‘Let me grab my jacket and call for the other students,’ Emma said, grabbing her jacket out of the office closet she had while mentally calling the students to come join out front.
‘I’m surprised you let him talk to you like that, Emma,’ Scott said mentally.
‘Oh please,’ she hummed, ‘he’s a child and he’s not being rude. He’s just a brat. I’ve dealt with worse. I find it quite cute,’ She said.
Scott couldn’t help but smile which got a weird look from Jono as they were mentally conversing meaning Scott just looked like he was smiling for no reason.
‘Weirdo…’ Jono thought to himself, hands shoved in his pockets.
Jono walked out of Emma’s office with the two trailing behind. He made a stop at his room to grab his stupid scarf and put it on. Sure it got rid of the flaming biokinetic energy but it looked like a bloody mask. The boy was too excited to go shopping for vinyl to dwell on that though. If someone asked, he was simply mute. It was winter in New York so Jono grabbed a winter coat despite not needing it. He thought it would help him appear more normal. Jono headed down to meet Mr. Summers and Miss. Frost, walking past them and out the door.
‘This is the happiest I’ve seen him since he’s arrived,’ Emma noted with a soft tinge of sadness, holding onto Scott’s arm.
‘It’s definitely nice to see,’ Scott replied, hand resting on top of hers before opening the car door for her. ‘He’ll be okay. Once he gets adjusted, it just takes time. We know this,’ Scott said, comforting her gently.
‘Yes, I know but for some reason, I can’t find the patience to wait with him,’ she said, ‘he’ll do great things,’ she said, ‘I already sense a lot of power building up inside the young boy. We need to show him how to safely release it and soon, so he doesn’t hurt himself or others,’ Emma finished.
‘And we will. Don’t worry, I already have a plan,’ Scott said, glancing at Emma through the rearview mirror with a small smile.
‘You always do,’ Emma said, ‘you always do.’