Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2024-11-03
Words:
1,504
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
3
Kudos:
54
Bookmarks:
6
Hits:
283

the ghost of you

Summary:

"You’re going to be a victor and live in the Capitol, surrounded by all the riches you dreamed about. But you’ll be miserable, Ness. You’ll never escape me. I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I’ll live in your mind, just out of reach, until it drives you insane. You’ll never, ever forget me, and that means I’ll never die."

Or, Ness faces an impossible choice.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The knife in Ness’s hand feels impossibly heavy. His fingers twitch, his knuckles white with strain, but they won’t move. Not in the way Kaiser wants them to. His pulse pounds in his ears, louder than the distant sounds of the cannons firing, louder than Kaiser’s taunts. The Capitol. Riches. Victory. They sound so hollow now.

“No! No, I can’t kill you. Please, don’t make me, Kaiser,” Ness doubles over, choking on his sobs. His hands tremble, making the knife shake dangerously above Kaiser’s chest.

Kaiser leans closer, pulling Ness toward him with a strength that doesn’t match the blood staining his side. “Don’t be stupid,” Kaiser hisses, his voice dangerously calm. “You’re going to put this knife through my chest, and you’re going to win.”

Ness shakes his head frantically, biting back another sob. “I don’t want to win like this. I don’t want to win without you.”

“You will,” Kaiser continues, unrelenting. He moves Ness’s hand, guiding the tip of the knife back to his chest. “You’re going to be a victor and live in the Capitol, surrounded by all the riches you dreamed about. But you’ll be miserable, Ness. You’ll never escape me. I’m going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I’ll live in your mind, just out of reach, until it drives you insane. You’ll never, ever forget me, and that means I’ll never die.”

Ness's breath catches, and his entire body shakes violently. He stares down at the knife, at Kaiser’s bloodied form. His heart is screaming at him, but the Capitol's anthem, the twisted desire for survival, is ringing in his ears. And Kaiser is there, pulling him in, as he always does. Even now.

“I can’t!” Ness’s voice falters. “Kaiser, I can’t…”

Kaiser smiles, a twisted, almost tender expression. “You will, Ness. For me.”

Ness’s sobs turn into broken, guttural sounds as he presses the knife downward just a little, just enough for Kaiser to feel it. He can’t stop his tears. His heart feels like it’s being ripped apart as Kaiser’s gaze never wavers, filled with an unwavering certainty.

But Ness’s hand stops again. He can’t finish it.

“I love you,” Ness whispers, voice hoarse and shattered.

Kaiser’s smirk fades, and for a split second, something like regret flashes in his eyes. Then it’s gone. “I know.”

Ness’s hand drops to his side, the knife falling to the dirt beside them. He leans forward, collapsing onto Kaiser’s chest, still sobbing. He desperately fists his hands in Kaiser’s tattered shirt, burying his face into Kaiser’s neck.

Kaiser hisses when Ness accidentally brushes against his open wound, but weakly wraps his arms around Ness’s trembling form. He can feel the dirt and grime being washed off his neck from Ness’s tears. It’s the cleanest he’s been in days. “Stop crying. Come on.”

“I think you should win, Mihya,” Ness says, voice suddenly firm. He raises his head from his hiding place to look at Kaiser with a burning determination in his eyes. It’s a bit difficult for Kaiser to take him seriously when he looks like a kicked puppy.

Despite bleeding out, Kaiser was still the stronger of them two. When Ness reaches for the knife again in an attempt to stab himself, Kaiser easily stops him. “Are you crazy? I told you to stab me, not yourself. Has the hunger gotten to your head?”

Ness shakes his head like a lunatic. “No! You should win!”

Kaiser lets out a low, humorless laugh, staring at Ness in disbelief. Even now, with blood soaking through his shirt, with nothing left but this final choice, Ness is so desperate, so willing to give up everything. All for him.

“Win?” Kaiser scoffs, tightening his grip on Ness’s wrist. “What exactly am I supposed to win for, Ness? A lifetime of parading in front of the Capitol, smiling for people who’ll never understand me? A life where I have to be afraid of running into my mother every corner I turn?”

A shadow of hesitation flickers across Ness’s face, resolve wavering as he catches the hollow look in Kaiser’s eyes. “You’re wrong. If you get out of here, you’ll find something worth living for. I know you will. You have to.”

Kaiser lets out a frustrated sigh. “What, Ness? What’s waiting for me out there?”

Ness’s expression crumbles, but he doesn’t back down. “You’re stronger than me, Mihya. You’re the one who should live.”

Kaiser releases his grip, his hand falling to his side as he closes his eyes, exhausted. His voice grows quieter, almost defeated. “What’s the point of winning if I’ve lost the only person I care about?”

It’s hard to breathe, hearing those words. Ness feels the cold reality of it sinking in, making him question if he can bear the thought of leaving Kaiser alone, forcing him to go on in a world where no one else truly knows him. He’d never realized how much this meant to him, how much he mattered to Kaiser.

But he still can’t bear the thought of losing Kaiser.

He looks down at the knife resting between them. “We could… refuse,” he whispers, the words barely leaving his mouth. “They need a winner, but if we both—”

“You’re too damn soft, Ness,” Kaiser says, his voice rough but laced with something gentle. His hand clasps Ness’s chin, forcing him to look up, their faces inches apart. His thumb brushes Ness’s cheek, wiping away a tear. “I’m not going to let you sacrifice yourself. You’re the one who still believes in something beyond this hellhole. And that’s why you deserve to live. Not me.”

The quiet desperation in his eyes nearly shatters Ness. He’s never felt so helpless, and for the first time, he fears surviving without Kaiser. “If I lose you, I won’t be able to survive either.”

There’s a flicker of something in Kaiser’s expression, a break in his usually unshakable resolve. “You will. And you’ll live every single day with the ghost of me haunting you. That’s all I want, Ness. For you to live for both of us.”

A shaky exhale escapes Ness, and he looks down, eyes tracing the scarred, bloody hands gripping the knife. His mind reels, his heart throbbing painfully as he tries to reconcile the unimaginable: life without Kaiser.

“Just listen to me one more time, Ness. Come on. I’ll help you,” Kaiser murmurs gently, placing his larger hands on top of Ness’s. They hold onto Ness’s tightly, making sure the knife won’t miss its target this time. Their fingers are intertwined around the handle, Kaiser guiding his hands like he has so many times before, pushing him forward when Ness was too afraid. He doesn’t speak, his gaze fierce, willing Ness to be strong.

A strangled sob catches in Ness's throat, raw and painful, as he raises his eyes to meet Kaiser’s for what he knows is the last time. Kaiser’s lips curl into a faint, tired smile, the kind that always reminded Ness of a sunset—brilliant, fleeting, impossibly beautiful. “This is your way out, Alexis.”

Ness chokes. His mind goes blank, vision blurring with tears. Before he can second-guess himself, he tightens his grip, hands steadied by Kaiser’s own, and plunges the knife down.

A gasp escapes Kaiser as the blade pierces flesh, his fingers going rigid around Ness’s hands. Ness feels Kaiser’s grip loosen, sliding off until only Ness’s fingers are left around the hilt, blood warm and slick against his skin.

“Kaiser,” His voice breaks, unable to stop himself from whispering the name even though he knows there will be no answer. Kaiser’s gaze softens, a flicker of satisfaction mingling with the pain in his eyes, as if he’s found peace in that final moment. His hand goes limp, falling away as the light in his eyes fades.

Ness stays there, clutching the knife embedded in Kaiser’s chest, too numb to pull it out, too broken to look away. The forest around them is eerily silent, as if even the birds and insects know better than to intrude on this final moment. There’s no Capitol fanfare, no celebratory trumpet echoing through the trees—only the faint rustle of leaves and the heavy, ragged sound of Ness’s own breathing.
He swallows, throat raw, his vision blurring as he stares down at Kaiser’s still face. The faint, serene expression Kaiser wore as he whispered his last words remains, frozen in place—a reminder of the man he’d lost, the man who had given him his freedom at the cost of his own.

“Kaiser,” Ness’s voice is barely a whisper, cracking under the weight of his grief. He can still feel Kaiser’s warmth against his fingers, still smell the faint, familiar scent that clung to him even here, in the unforgiving wilderness. The sob finally breaks free, racking his body as he clutches Kaiser’s shoulder, pressing his forehead to Kaiser’s chest in a desperate attempt to hold onto the last of him.

It’s over. He’s won, and Kaiser is dead.

Notes:

i originally wanted to make a full blown fic for this scene but i couldn't focus on it because this scene kept nagging me from the back of my head. hopefully when i have more time to write i can make a prequel of how they got into this situation or something, but for now i hope you enjoyed!