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Nightmare Speculation

Summary:

Following a nightmare about receiving a glance from IX, Stelle goes to the one person she knows can calm her down. After all, concerning dreams are Dan Heng's forte too. Remembering where one is in this particular moment is vital to confirming reality.

Notes:

This fic was sitting in my drafts for way too long and I needed it out or it'd drive me nuts. I can't remember if it was written after 2.3 or 2.4. Well, here's something, at least. Enjoy.

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Stelle persisted in knocking on the archive doors longer and harder than she ever had before. After a plaintive "Dan Heng, please, are you in there?", she was about to go right in before he opened the door.

Not caring about what state he was in, she lunged at him and ensconced him in the tightest hug she could muster. Though he went stiff at first, he relaxed as his presence of mind trickled back. "What happened?" he asked.

"It was just a dream," Stelle mumbled, her voice congested. "I know it was just a dream, but it was terrifying, and I still remember most of it."

Dan Heng sighed and cast a glance towards the hallway. "Let me close the door." He ended up having to maneuver around her to pull the door closed as she refused to let go, but once he did, he cautiously returned the embrace. "Breathe. Take a moment to calm down, then tell me what happened."

Stelle did not take a moment. “I dreamed that I got a glance from IX and became a Self-Annihilator. Acheron tried to help me, and so did everyone else on the Express, but I started forgetting things. You and March kept visiting me, but I couldn’t tell it was you, and then I couldn’t feel anything at all-”

“Stop.” Dan Heng gave Stelle’s hand a hard squeeze to jar her out of the spiral. “You can feel that, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you remember who I am, or you wouldn’t have come here, let alone called my name.” When she nodded, he released her hand. “This might be hard to believe after our time in Penacony, but I think that dream was indeed just a dream.”

“I… I guess so,” she admitted. “I woke up sweating. That might have been even more terrifying than several different things in Penacony.”

“You’re here now, and I’ve pointed out the proof that none of that happened. If you need more, I have a question for you: you don’t find existence meaningless, do you?”

“No, I could never. It makes me wonder what happened before the dream-”

“I don’t think that matters, especially if thinking about it is going to put you into a tizzy over and over.” Dan Heng sighed and took a beat before he continued. “I realize that perhaps I should be taking my own advice.”

"Your situation is different," Stelle muttered, finally taking that deferred breath. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"There's enough to worry about without making things up, like what to tell that signboard that's copying my voice on the Radiant Feldspar, or how to smuggle a Lordly Trashcan into-"

"You're doing it again without missing a beat." Dan Heng shook his head, unable to hide a small smile. "I suppose scheming about your special brand of chaos is still an improvement."

"It's how I cope." She let the statement hang in the air before casting a glance over her shoulder. "Can I stay here tonight? Please?"

"I-" Whatever objections he had, he quashed before they flew out of his mouth. "Fine. Better to have you here where I can keep an eye on you."

"Well, aren't you sweet." Giggling, Stelle reached up to ruffle his hair before pulling him into another tight embrace. "Thank you, Dan Heng."

A disgruntled noise escaped him, though the tone of his voice softened despite his startling. "What for? Just go get comfortable."

"I will. Don't worry, if you have any nightmares, I'll wake you up and talk you through them. It's the least I can do to make up for being so dramatic." Following a parting squeeze, she sauntered over to Dan Heng's futon, flopped down, and began tucking herself in as casually as ever.

"At least take your shoes off!" Dan Heng called after her before scuttling along to make sure she did just that.

Such swift reversals were normal for the Trailblazer, though Dan Heng often wondered how genuine they were, given her tendency to cover her own struggles with distractions. Still, remembering that they were safe in this moment was important. Safety and serenity were worth savoring.