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“Real or not?” “Real.”
The first ever costumes they plan together are Katniss and Peeta.
Plan is probably a strong word, and Rhaenyra isn’t particularly enthusiastic about being “the bread boy” but Alicent had shown up with a toy bow and those big brown eyes, and what was Rhaenyra meant to do, not lay down and give Alicent the whole world if she asked for it?
They’re fourteen, and Rhaenyra’s cousin Laena has invited them to the Halloween party Rhaenys is letting her have. It’s two days before the party and Rhaenyra already has most of the pieces for her Dracula costume, but she doesn’t mention them as they make their way up to her room. Instead she just shoves the cape off her bed and into her closet before Alicent can see it.
“We don’t have much time,” Rhaenyra says, running her hand through the front of her hair to push it back from her eyes.
“Please? It’ll be fun to do this together.”
And how could Rhaenyra ever say no to that?
They end up in black polo shirts with a paper 12 taped onto the sleeve, Alicent with her toy bow and Rhaenyra carrying around a burnt loaf of bread that she just starts eating a few hours in because, well, it’s there. No one knows who they are until they point at their arms or Alicent waves around her bow enthusiastically. Most of the time that doesn’t even work, and Rhaenyra has to listen to Alicent explain basically the whole plot of the first book to whoever they’re talking to, even if they got the idea after the words The Hunger Games were mentioned.
“Oh I see, so she’s your girlfriend,” her aunt Rhaenys says teasingly, when Rhaenyra explains their characters to her.
She blushes, but doesn’t protest.
The whole thing isn’t exactly Rhaenyra’s idea of an attention grabbing Halloween costume, but Alicent bounces on the balls of her feet and hugs Rhaenyra so tightly at the end of the night that she hardly minds the downgrade from her Bela Lugosi.
Maybe next year.
-
“ She hates me, like others.”
She does wear it the next year, because she and Alicent get into a fight the week before their planned trip with friends to a Halloween scare grounds and their joint costume (Billy Loomis, chunky 90s phone prop in hand, and Sidney Prescott just as bloody in a vintage denim jacket) goes out the window. The haunt is being put on by the local amateur dramatics society, and they all meet out front of a building draped in fake cobwebs and black fabric.
Rhaenyra has had to replace parts of the costume last minute, thanks to the growth spurt she’s had since originally putting it together, but the suit jacket couldn’t be replaced in time, and the sleeves finish a little too high up on her wrists. She keeps pulling on them as she stands next to Laenor (dressed in a light up Purge mask like half the people they’ve seen that night), while Laena (Batwoman) fixes her white bowtie for her with an affectionate eyeroll.
Alicent shows up with Criston (Luke Skywalker, predictable) following at her heels, and it would have made Rhaenyra scoff if she wasn’t too focused on Alicent’s costume.
It’s a simple white shapeless dress, more like a sheet, that drags along around her feet. It has no sleeves, but Alicent’s skin has been bandaged from her palms all the way up to her shoulders, concealing her completely. It’s entirely nondescript really, which makes the elaborate hairdo stand out all the more. A cheap Halloween wig would have been easier, but instead Alicent’s hair has been teased and coiffed into an impressive beehive with a streak of white down each side.
The Bride of Frankenstein, 1935.
The Bride isn’t in the movie very much at all, but Elsa Lanchester’s iconic look has far outlived her. Even Laenor points and says “oh, hey, the Bride of Frankenstein” when Alicent comes to a stop in front of them, and Rhaenyra knows he’s never seen the movie.
Alicent herself wouldn’t have even seen the movie if not for her and the taste for classic Hollywood horror that her dad instilled in her from a very young age, much to her mother’s protest.
“You don’t even like that movie,” she says, before she can help herself.
“Yeah, I do.”
“ I showed you that movie.”
“That doesn’t stop me liking it, Rhaenyra,” Alicent huffs.
“Okay, okay,” Laena says, standing between them. “Either kiss and make up or get on either side of the boys and stay there.”
Rhaenyra can see Alicent going red even under her white face makeup, and she’s glad her own is on thicker.
She grumbles but doesn’t protest, just puts herself next to Laenor while Alicent ends the line next to Criston, equally as silent.
Part way into the haunt they’re plunged into complete darkness, a blackout room they have to feel their way out of. They grope around, finding each other and then the way out, and Rhaenyra realises it's Alicent’s hand she’s holding when they emerge into a room full of red light.
She’s about to drop it when a chainsaw wielding amateur performer bursts from a secret door to their left and Alicent screams. Rhaenyra grabs her and turns them both, putting herself between the scare and Alicent, holding her into her chest.
The guy looms over them but can’t touch them, and they haven’t run. Eventually he lowers his weapon, seemingly confused about what to do, and wanders off back into the hiding space, closing the door behind him.
Laenor snorts.
“Bit of an overreaction,” he says, as the three stare at Rhaenyra still curled around Alicent. Rhaenyra lets go slowly, pulling at the sleeves of her jacket awkwardly as Alicent straightens and looks at her.
“Thank you,” she says quietly, as Laena and Laenor reenact her protectiveness, Criston playing the chainsaw wielding attacker.
Suddenly they’re not fighting after that.
“I could have been Frankenstein’s Monster, you know, if you didn’t like the Scream costume?” Rhaenyra says, as she walks Alicent back home, their hands clasped together.
Alicent shrugs.
“The Bride never liked him anyway. Besides, vampires are cooler.”
-
“Easy, Bug Boy.” “What did you call me?”
Their first year of university, Rhaenyra manages to convince Alicent to join in on her Spider-Man costume. Alicent doesn’t really want to go to the house party they’ve been invited to at all, and it takes all Rhaenyra’s charm (begging) to get her to agree to break away from the essay she’s working on.
“Look at it this way, you barely even have to wear a costume at all, it’s just a blonde wig.”
“What do you mean, a blonde wig?”
“Huh?”
“Isn’t Mary Jane a redhead?”
“Not MJ, Alicent,” Rhaenyra says, looking scandalised, “ Gwen . Gwen Stacy.”
Alicent sighs and closes her laptop, spinning her desk chair to face Rhaenyra properly.
“Can’t I just be Mary Jane? It’s easier.”
“That wouldn’t be a costume at all, that’d just be you in your own clothes.”
“Exactly!”
Rhaenyra sits on the table next to Alicent’s laptop and sticks out her lower lip. She’s holding the mask from her Spider-Man costume, like bringing it with her was going to be more convincing.
“Please? You need a night off, Alicent. It’ll be good, we’ll have fun, yeah?”
Alicent stares up at her looking a little unsure and they hold each other’s gaze for a few beats before Alicent nods, her shoulders immediately relaxing.
“You’re right,” she finally agrees. Talya has been nagging her to go as well, and a night off wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Still she sighs when she adds, “Where’s the wig?”
Rhaenyra grins down at her, legs swinging back and forth, and pulls the Spider-Man mask down over her face.
-
The party is a mess. The hosts, the Cargyll twins (dressed perfectly as oversized versions of the twins from The Shining, still with their beards) encourage Rhaenyra in every drunken gymnastics stunt she attempts.
It starts out fun, Rhaenyra braced against both walls of a narrow corridor to hold herself up by the ceiling, Alicent staring up at her with both their drinks in hand, bad synthetic fibre wig in place. Tayla snaps a few pictures before Rhaenyra slides back down next to her.
But the longer the night goes on the more terrified and exasperated Alicent becomes.
Rhaenyra is in the corner, talking to a group of guys dressed in the most low effort cardboard Avengers costumes that Alicent thinks that’s probably the point. At least for the next few minutes Rhaenyra’s feet are firmly planted and Alicent is sure she can relax.
Then discount Hulk, a guy in purple boxer shorts sweating off his green body paint, is at her side watching Rhaenyra with her. Relaxation is out the window.
“She seems flexible,” he says as his opening line, and Alicent can’t hold back a scoff.
“What? I just meant she’s been flipping around all night.”
“Sure you did.”
He goes quiet. Rhaenyra is waving around Thor’s plastic hammer and laughing, a sound deep from her belly that cuts through the music and makes Alicent smile.
“Is she single?”
She should say yes, it’s none of her business, but she knows this guy would never be Rhaenyra’s type. But he’ll sure try to be, all night, and they just came to have fun and relax.
“I’m dressed as Spider-Man’s girlfriend, what do you fucking think?”
She’s doing her a favour, really.
“Damn, okay,” Temu Hulk grumbles, sulking off. Alicent lets out a sigh of relief, one that’s barely over before Rhaenyra’s voice rings out.
“Oh I can absolutely do that, watch me!” And she’s racing away out of the kitchen.
Alicent follows, terrified what “that” might be.
“Rhaenyra, stop it now, you’ve had too much,” she insists, as Rhaenyra disappears up the staircase at a run, sounding like she’s taking the steps on all fours. Alicent exits the kitchen behind her, making it through the crowd of people into the hallway just in time for Rhaenyra to appear upside down beside her, suspended with her feet looped around the staircase bannister. The Spider-Man mask is pulled up over her nose, so only her eyes are covered, and she’s fixing Alicent with a lazy smile.
It’s intoxicating, or maybe that’s just the alcohol on her breath.
“Come down, love,” Alicent whispers, and the words only make Rhaenyra grin more, and Alicent’s cheeks are no longer red because of alcohol. It’s not like it’s unusual to call Rhaenyra that, like it’s ever been more than a friendly affection. The owner of the local corner shop is constantly shouting “have a nice day, love” after her as she leaves.
It’s fine, it’s normal. It’s fine.
It feels entirely different suddenly, in that moment.
It’s not fine.
“Maybe you should have dressed as MJ after all,” Rhaenyra whispers, all that’s needed as her face is suspended only a couple of inches away from Alicent’s own, and Alicent can’t see Rhaenyra’s eyes, so really she’s all but forced to stare at her lips instead.
Alicent knows what she’s getting at of course, can almost see herself from outside of her own body; the two of them held there, the mirror of a much flashier movie scene.
She bites her lip.
“Easy fix,” she whispers back, pulling the crappy blonde wig down from off of her head, loosing her curls around her shoulders.
Alicent gets the distinct feeling people have taken notice, but then how couldn’t they? That’s what Rhaenyra does, isn’t it? Pull focus. She’s always got everyone’s attention, but right now Alicent seems to have all of hers.
“Nice to have a fan,” Rhaenyra says, pulling Alicent into the movie more, daring her to play her part. To say the corresponding line. She knows the expected response, the words she’s heard Kristen Dunst say probably a hundred times.
It makes it easier to just let go.
“Do I get to say thank you this time?”
Alicent leans in, grasping Rhaenyra’s face softly, and brings their lips together.
It’s perfect.
…Or as perfect as it can be while sloppy and drunk and one of them being upside down.
Rhaenyra tastes of spirits, and the smell of her cologne fills her senses. Alicent hears the whooping and even the “go Spider-Man” someone shouts, but they barely register as Rhaenyra reaches up to tangle a hand through her hair.
It’s seconds, barely even that, but every ‘almost’ between them flickers through Alicent’s mind. Every moment she’s read too much into. It all means something, for those few seconds, and then Rhaenyra’s lips still against her own and the jaw under Alicent’s fingertips clenches suddenly.
It all happens in a moment, nothing Alicent has time to respond to before suddenly Rhaenyra is faling.
Her body slips from where it’s suspended and no doubt she would have landed directly on her head if Alicent hadn’t been holding her already, if she hadn’t been able to cradle her head and make sure she didn’t land full force. instead she guides her to land more on her back than her neck. It still isn’t a comfortable descent, and Rhaenyra lays groaning half on top of Alicent’s legs, the moment broken.
Alicent looks at her with fear and concern until Rhaenyra rolls fully onto her back and reaches up to palm the mask she’s still wearing. She pulls it from her face; it clings to her for a moment, stretching before it springs back to shape in her hand and uncovers her unfocused blue eyes.
“Worth it,” she mumbles, a dopey grin back in place.
There’s an “ugh” behind them. Alicent turns her head to see Criston at the bottom of the stairs, rolling his eyes before he walks past them into the kitchen. Her gaze easily shifts from him to Talya, shaking her head from a sofa close by, though she does it with an amused smile at least.
This isn’t going to make it easier to convince her they aren’t dating, and it’s not going to make Criston any less insufferable about Rhaenyra.
“C’mon, Spider-Man,” Alicent says, stumbling a little as she gets back to her feet. Her heart is racing, her head already working overtime on what everything might mean. “Let's get you home.”
-
The next morning they wake side by side.
It’s not a surprise, they spent so much time having sleepovers as children that they’d lasted all of three nights when they’d first arrived before rearranging their room to push their beds together.
Laena had burst out laughing when she’d first come to visit and seen the setup, looking between the two of them.
(“So are you like… sharing hookups now?”)
Nothing happened, not after the kiss, and Alicent isn’t entirely sure if it’s disappointment that makes her stomach twist or the worry of what might come next.
Rhaenyra grumbles in her sleep as she begins to stir and Alicent watches her closely, painting every curve of her into memory.
She blinks awake and Alicent is the first thing she sees. She smiles, and then Alicent watches it crumble in real time as Rhaenyra takes her in. She tries to mask it, reconstructing her smile from the broken pieces, but it no longer fits quite right.
“Morning.” Her voice is low and rough, and Alicent wants to let herself fall into how attractive she finds it, but now her skin bristles in response to Rhaenyra’s reaction and she can’t enjoy it.
All she can manage in response is a nod as she swallows down every question that tries to escape her throat.
What did last night mean?
Can I kiss you again?
Do you feel the same way I do? Do you want to climb inside me the same way I need to live under your skin? But not like… in a crazy serial killer way, please don’t leave.
“Hangover breakfast?” Rhaenyra asks instead, an all too normal question compared to what’s bouncing around inside Alicent.
“Yeah,” she finally manages to agree, still nodding too much, too quickly.
Rhaenyra pulls on jeans over the top of the boxers she fell asleep in and shrugs on a jacket over the shirt she’s in, not bothering to change it. She’s already opening the door when Alicent finally manages to vomit up more than a one word sentence.
“About last night…”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Rhaenyra says casually, though her smile is still strained and unlike her.
“I mean, unless I upset you?” Rhaenyra continues, running a hand through her hair anxiously. “I was just being silly, you know? But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, I’m sorry if you felt like you had to.”
All she has to do is open her mouth and say no, I loved it, let's do it again. Let’s do it forever. Never stop kissing me, please.
“All good,” she says instead. Because Rhaenyra is looking at her almost pleadingly, like she’s worried Alicent is about to change her whole world. “You were just… playing your part, right?”
“...Right,” Rhaenyra answers, already turning away. “I’ll… go get breakfast.”
-
It’s a little weird for a few days and Alicent worries she’s ruined everything, that Rhaenyra saw everything in her eyes that morning, how deeply she wanted , and realised how completely obsessed with her her best friend is.
She’s worried they’ll never have that easy familiarity with each other again, but a few days later they’re back to watching movies cuddled up in bed together and Alicent is back to telling herself that’s as good as it gets. Rhaenyra doesn’t see her as more than a friend, but at least she still sees her as a friend. At least it’s not ruined.
Rhaenyra starts jokingly referring to that Halloween as the kiss that saved her life.
For years Alicent thinks of it as the kiss that ruined hers.
-
“My dearest friend, if you don't mind, I'd like to join you by your side”
The next year they don’t go to a party; Rhaenyra suggests an alternative.
It seems like the best option, she doesn’t want to risk making an absolute fool of herself again. Doesn’t want to risk waking up next to her straight best friend having gotten drunk and kissed her for a second year in a row.
She also doesn’t bring a couples costume to the table, suddenly feeling too pathetic to suggest it again. To give in to the urge of dressing as the male hero in hopes maybe Alicent will see her differently for that one night.
After the kiss it feels manipulative and fills her with guilt.
Then Alicent snaps her fingers one day while they’re out food shopping together.
“Nightmare Before Christmas,” she says.
“Isn’t it a bit early,” Rhaenyra asks, turning a bell pepper over in her hands to check it for damage, “it’s only September. I was thinking maybe Hook, or Heathers.”
“Not tonight. For Halloween, dummy. The kids can go as Lock, Shock, and Barrel, and we can go as Jack and Sally.”
And how could Rhaenyra ever say no to that?
-
The kids' costumes are easy enough to put together. A purple dress and witch’s hat for Helaena, a simple skeleton costume for Aegon, and what amounts to red pyjamas for five year old Aemond. Alicent orders masks online to match the movie and helps paint their faces and put coloured spray in their hair. Aegon is basically bouncing off the walls before they even leave the house.
Rhaenyra herself manages to source an accurate costume pretty easily, though she decides against the plastic mask that came with it. Instead she paints her face white and darkens around her eyes, drawing the exaggerated stitched smile into place. Her slicked back hair is light enough that it blended well, though that did mean Aemond had giggled and called her bald upon first seeing her.
She thinks she looks pretty good, but next to Alicent she might as well be dressed in a bin bag. She’s painted a light blue, which Rhaenyra images is going to get everywhere, stitches segmenting her body in various areas. She’s managed to vary the intensity of the blue body paint just enough that she really does look patched together from multiple pieces.
Her dress, equally as patchwork, is custom made, something she put together with a friend from the theatre club she’d recently joined with Criston’s encouragement.
Nothing had surprised Rhaenyra more than Alicent telling her she was taking part in an amateur production of Sweeney Todd. She’d played Mrs Lovett a little too well, and Rhaenyra had joked she wasn’t sure how comfortable she was with Alicent cooking their dinner a few days after opening night.
Aemma insists on taking pictures before they leave, posing them around the house and then outside.
They put the three kids into the cart Rhaenyra has covered in cardboard and painted to look like the walking bathtub from the movie. Rhaenyra and Alicent pose like the couple they’re meant to be portraying.
Aemma gives her a knowing look as they separate and Rhaenyra finally rushes them from the house before she can be cornered with the usual questions.
(“No, we’re not dating.”
“Well, are you at least sleeping together?”
“Mum!”
“What? I’ve seen your beds.”
“We’re not dating and we’re not sleeping together. Now please never ask me about my sex life again.”
“Okay, okay… but I think she feels the same, for the record.”
“And how is it I feel?”
“Honestly, Rhaenyra. Stop being difficult.”)
Aemond is almost asleep already when they set off. Alicent puts him in the cart and they take turns pulling it from house to house, Aegon running ahead and Helaena staying close to Alicent’s side, holding her hand most of the way.
The three of them go up to the doors for the first half hour, but soon enough Aemond is back in the cart and Rhaenyra picks up Helaena and lets her join him when she starts to drag her feet. Aegon is the only one that keeps running from house to house, pointing back at his siblings to make sure to get extra.
“Last door, okay, buddy?” Rhaenyra tells him, as they stop at the end of the street they’re on. It’s getting a little late to expect a five year old to be out any more, and Aemond is already curled up asleep, Lock mask clutched to his chest.
Aegon bounces towards the door and Rhaenyra has no idea how he still has the energy. He’s basically vibration on the doorstep. Alicent chuckles and elbows her softly in the side.
“He’s been eating sweets out of his bag this entire time, no way he’s sleeping.”
Rhaenyra chuckles. “That’s mum’s problem. Wanna watch Scream when we get home?”
“Again?”
Rhaenyra slings her arm around Alicent’s shoulder and pulls her close.
“It’s not called a tradition for nothing. C’mon, please?”
“Fine,” Alicent relents, though Rhaenyra knows she wouldn’t really let them see the night out without it. “But you have to make me hot chocolate.”
“Okay.”
“With cream.”
“Okay.”
“And marshmallows.”
“Okay, okay, I get it.” Rhaenyra presses her forehead against Alicent’s temple, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as she laughs. “Don’t be exhausting.”
“Oh that’s rich, the only time I get you to shut up is when I make food.”
Rhaenyra nuzzles against her more, whispering into her ear.
“There are other ways to shut m-“
“Uughh get a roooom!” Aegon interrupts loudly, and Rhaenyra has never been more thankful for an annoying younger brother to interrupt her while her foot is only part way to her mouth. Even if he is pulling a face at them and starts mockingly making kissing noises.
When she takes her arm from around Alicent the other girl is avoiding her gaze, not even looking at Aegon but upwards as if she’s suddenly deaf to the conversation.
She needs to stop, not vomit out the first thing that comes to mind. It’s the kind of flirtatious comment that used to be fine before they kissed, but now it’s been a year of Alicent clamming up any time Rhaenyra toes the line.
And she frequently can’t stop herself, it’s just too ingrained into how she speaks with Alicent, and that only makes the guilt swell as she wonders how many times she’s made Alicent feel awkward and she’s simply not said anything.
It’s hard to know where exactly that line is, when they’ve spent years coiled around each other, but the least she can do is try not to make Alicent uncomfortable.
They’re back at her parents house, both scrubbed free of body paint and sporting wet hair, when Rhaenyra enters her bedroom, the one they’ve always shared, with the most extravagant hot chocolate she could manage.
“Is that a sparkler? Rhaenyra you’re gonna set the blankets on fire!” Alicent says, but there’s a laughter to her voice as Rhaenyra climbs onto the bed with the tray of drinks and popcorn she’s balancing. On the tv Scream is paused on an outside shot of Casey Becker’s house and her slip up from earlier seems all but forgotten as Alicent plucks the sparkler from her drink and frantically waves it around like it will go out faster.
It’s almost perfect.
But if it’s with Alicent maybe almost is enough.
-
“Why did you kiss me?” “I was about to be hanged, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Their last year of university, Rhaenyra throws a wrench into the works of a costume they’ve been planning for months.
She starts dating someone.
It’s not the most intricate thing to put together by any means, but The Mummy is their favourite shared movie, and suddenly the idea of dressing as probably her favourite couple of all time feels entirely wrong to Alicent when Rhaenyra has a partner.
Even if she’s away for Halloween and insisting Rhaenyra and Alicent both still wear the costumes to Laenor’s party.
A thing that spirals Alicent for days because wow, she’s not even seen as a threat. She’s so not an option to Rhaenyra that the idea of the two of them dressing up like they’re dating doesn’t even faze Mysaria.
She’s sure Rhaenyra is aware of how she feels. Alicent has seen her flirtatious jokes all but disappear over the last two years as Rhaenyra catches herself saying them, only to see the hope in Alicent’s eyes and shy away from it.
Or maybe she doesn’t, maybe Alicent has been deluding herself this whole time, and the possibility of them being anything more than friends is so far outside of Rhaenyra’s consideration that she hasn’t even noticed how achingly painful it is for her.
How she’d barely slept the first night after she’d come home to Rhaenyra having separated their beds because “well, you know… Mysaria, it would be kind of weird now.”
Alicent never stopped them sharing a bed in the brief months she’d been dating Criston in high school, but then they’d been fifteen and Alicent had been pretty sure Criston wanted to kiss Rhaenyra almost as much as she had.
The costume is a huge hit, executed perfectly to the point they aren’t once asked who they’re supposed to be. Evelyn’s clothes are definitely more comfortable than all the body paint she had to slather herself in the year before, and Alicent finds herself playing with the wire rim glasses instead of biting at her nails. They’re a good distraction.
A distraction she needs, when Rhaenyra is walking around in tight khakis and a loose shirt, covered in gun holsters and wearing a 90s boy band haircut a little too well. At least when she’d been dressed as a giant skeleton man she’d looked silly enough to not be overwhelmingly attractive every second of the day.
The way she keeps spinning her fake guns around all night is not helping Alicent be any more normal about the whole thing.
Alicent frequently catches the look Laena is giving her, usually when she looks away from Rhaenyra and realises she’s been caught staring. She's not sure if it’s judgmental or if Laena just pities her, but both options only push her back to the kitchen to grab another drink every time it happens.
Unfortunately that only means she runs into Laenor, who gives her an almost identical look.
“You doing okay?” he asks, and they both know what he means, but she refuses to make it that easy, to be that pathetic.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” she answers, picking up a bottle and making her escape.
-
She’s outside getting some air (see: trying not to throw up the four shots Joffrey just talked her into) when she hears Rhaenyra’s voice.
“You said you were fine with it… okay well you agreed, at least. You did!… well how am I meant to know that?”
Alicent creeps to the corner of the house and peeks around it. Rhaenyra has her back to her, phone held to her ear. She’s smoking, something she only ever does when she’s stressed. Alicent has never understood how she just stops and starts, when Alicent has to keep herself from smoking just one or she’ll be back on half a pack a day in no time.
“It’s just a costume! No…. no .” Rhaenyra stubs out the cigarette on the low garden wall next to her and picks up the beer resting on top of it.
It’s Mysaria, that much is obvious, and Alicent feels a little sick at the way something inside her preens at the knowledge she’s touched a nerve. She doesn’t want to hurt Mysaria, or make Rhaenyra miserable, but the small chance of something, anything, even if it’s a chance she missed out on long ago, she can’t help but cling to.
“That’s not fair. No, it’s not… I told you that in confidence and now you’re shoving it in my face. Why wait until now? …What picture?”
Rhaenyra pulls the phone away from her face and hits a button. Suddenly Alicent can hear Mysaria over the speaker.
“I sent you it.”
Rhaenyra taps at her phone, Alicent can just make out a photo of them from earlier that night on someone’s social media. Rhaenyra’s arm is around her, forehead pressed against Alicent’s temple while Alicent looks into the camera. Then another one, in sequence, where Rhaenyra has pulled back and Alicent has turned her head to meet her gaze, the two of them smiling at each other.
“This is it? I’m fucking hugging her, Mysaria. She’s my friend.”
Alicent pulls back from watching Rhaenyra, puts her back against the wall of the house and just listens.
“It’s the way you look at her.”
“T-That’s ridiculous, what does that even mean? You said you were fine, what even is this? Were you just setting me up to start an argument about it later?”
“ You said I was fine with it, Rhaenyra. What was I meant to do, start a fight with you in front of her? Say ‘oh sorry Alicent, my girlfriend actually told me she was in love with you for years so I have a little bit of a problem with this.’”
“ Was . I was .”
Alicent’s heart soars at the confirmation, only to immediately plummet.
Maybe proof she’d missed her chance was worse, actually.
“Yeah well, I suppose I’m having a hard time believing that.”
The line goes dead and Alicent hears Rhaenyra’s beer bottle smash against the wall.
She disappears inside before Rhaenyra can round the corner and find her, and spends the rest of the night standing at the edge of conversations she doesn’t really hear.
-
Rhaenyra and Mysaria break up three days later.
They don’t put their beds back together.
-
“You jump, I jump, right?” “Right.”
They see less of each other after university.
Rhaenyra starts working at her dad’s company, shadowing him, learning everything she’ll need to know for when it’s her turn to take over.
She hates it, but it’s their legacy, and she hates the idea of everything he’s built going to waste more.
Alicent thrives in comparison. If Rhaenyra thought one of them would fall to family pressure as adults, it was Alicent, not herself; but instead Alicent's hobby of musical theater, taken up while doing her studies, has done more for her than her degree.
Otto doesn’t seem particularly happy about it, until she starts doing well and he can use it to brag.
She gets a part in the ensemble of 42nd Street before they even leave university, and leaves that to join a production of Company. Then she gets the part of Persephone in a touring production of Hadestown, and she’s not even in the city for Halloween.
Rhaenyra sees opening night of everything, she makes time, but life gets in the way of so much else. She’s at work all day, and then when she’s free Alicent is already at the theater, getting ready to go on stage.
Alicent meets her for lunch on days she doesn’t have a matinee. Rhaenyra joins her for drinks after her shows sometimes, with the cast. Sometimes she’ll even go home with her and they’ll fall asleep with a movie on, but it’s different. They’re not one soul in two bodies any more.
And all it does is let Rhaenyra know that Mysaria was right. She’s entirely not over Alicent, and she’s not sure it’s possible she ever will be.
Which means when Alicent briefly dates a woman that joins her in the cast of Rent (of course it’s fucking Rent) it’s both joyous and achingly painful. Because what do you mean Alicent has liked women this entire time, while she’s spent years telling herself there’s no point, she has to let go, Alicent just isn’t compatible with her.
The person playing Angel twists the knife when they lean over to her at a pub one night and says, “You know, honestly, I thought you two were a thing. She talks about you all the time.”
It doesn’t last long; the relationship fizzles out as quickly as the show does, and Rhaenyra picks up the pieces, all the while wondering if she should finally take the leap. She’s already mourning what they used to be, would it be much different if she risked it all and got rejected? Either way they’re not the same.
The dilemma is still rolling around inside of her two weeks before Halloween, their second out of university, when Alicent calls her one afternoon.
“Hey, how was the matinee?” Rhaneyra asked, leaning back in her desk chair. Alicent is currently playing Katherine Howard in Six, a show that’s allowed them at least a little more time together, thanks to its shorter runtime. It’s been nice.
“Good, yeah, pretty rowdy for an afternoon crowd actually. Are you free tonight? I’ve got a ticket if you’re not bored of watching me yet.”
“Never, you know that. Of course I’ll come.”
She can hear Alicent’s smile in the way she exhales.
“Hey, what’re you doing for Halloween?”
Rhaenyra shrugs her shoulders, even though it’s to herself, and spins her chair around to face the window.
“I dunno, I know Laenor is having his usual party, was going to see if you wanted to come maybe?” She tries to say it casually, and not like the idea of another Halloween spent apart would really cement the death of what their friendship used to be.
“What about something else?”
“Like what?”
Alicent hesitates for a moment.
“Do you want to come to this company party with me? It’s more of a business connections kinda thing, really, but it’s an open bar and it’ll be good to mingle with producers. The costumes should be great, I’ve heard everyone goes all out.”
“You want me to come?”
“Well yeah, of course I do, who else have I ever done an amazing costume with?”
“You’re leaving it a little late, if you want me to pull something amazing out of the bag.”
“Oh, I already know what we’re doing.”
Rhaenyra grins at the boldness.
“Oh you do, do you?”
“Yes. I do. Mine’s already put together, I’m just waiting on my hat.”
“And who will I be playing?”
-
Jack, she’s playing Jack. Not the Skellington one this time.
Alicent wants her to dress up as Jack Dawson, and Rhaenyra is a little disappointed. At least Rick O’Connell had a little flair, but she could probably turn up in a few pieces from her actual wardrobe and pass for Jack Dawson.
Which is why she arrives to pick up Alicent as a very frozen looking Leonardo DiCaprio, and Alicent isn’t exactly happy.
“Rhaenyra! This is a classy party!”
“They’re theater people!”
“They’re producers! What if Mackintosh is there? What if Lloyd Webber is there!?”
“Aren’t they both meant to be cunts anyway?”
“Rhaenyra!”
“What? I’m sorry,” Rhaenyra crosses the floor of Alicent’s apartment and takes both her hands in her own, stopping her from pacing in her half dressed state. She’s wearing the skirt from Rose’s boarding outfit, the all white striped number she opens the movie in. The matching jacket with its purple accents is hung on the back of the door close by, and the most unnecessary hat Rhaenyra has ever seen sits on top of a box on the sofa.
“You look beautiful,” Rhaenyra tells her, and sees Alicent’s hesitance to accept the compliment, watches her bite her lip.
“I’m not finis-”
“You look beautiful,” she reiterates, “and I look a little ridiculous, but that’s memorable. This is such a better costume than me showing up in a white shirt and trousers like I didn’t even try. They’ll remember us, which means they’ll remember you.”
“I suppose you’re right…”
“Trust me. I’m here to be the best plus one you could ask for. I’m excessively charming, remember?” She flashes Alicent a toothy smile that makes her laugh and seems to break the tension in her shoulders.
“Oh how could I forget,” Alicent drawls, rolling her eyes a little. She turns away to take down the jacket and Rhaenyra helps her into it before retrieving the matching white gloves from the coffee table.
“I think I’m pulling this off quite well, if I do say so myself,” Rhaenyra comments, catching herself in the mirror. There’s a blue undertone to her skin, though she’s tried not to go too over the top with it apart from her lips. Fake ice clings to her in places, on her eyebrows and in her damp looking hair, dusted along the shoulders of her shirt. She feels like she’s read the room enough to stand out without looking completely insane.
Not that she’s ever really minded looking the fool for Alicent.
“Ready to go?” she asks, turning back to her. Alicent is just fixing the hat into place to complete the piece, and as ridiculously large as Rhaenyra thinks it is, she still has to catch her breath when the whole thing comes together.
“You look perfect.”
“Really?”
“They’re going to revive that Titanic musical just so they can cast you in it,” she says, closing the space between them again.
“Gods I hope not, it’s horrendous .”
-
The night is a success, but Rhaenyra can’t take any credit for that.
Sure they make a splash when they enter the fancy hotel the party is being held in, but after the initial interest it’s Alicent that holds everyone’s attention.
Rhaenyra is pretty sure she could hand her own job over to her and Alicent would have clients eating out of her hand within an hour, regardless of if she knows the business or not. By the end of the night Rhaenyra has heard enough people say “we should exchange numbers” and “here, take my card” for a lifetime.
She also heard multiple people refer to her as Alicent’s partner, and tried to play the part graciously when Alicent never corrected them. She felt like she was burning a hole through Alicent every time she just went along with their assumption and continued the conversation without correction.
“Thank you for tonight,” Alicent tells her, as they stand outside her door facing each other, like they’re fifteen and returning from a date. Rhaenyra half expects Otto’s eyes to appear from behind the blinds like they’re back at Alicent’s parents’ home.
“It was nice.”
“I missed this last year. The tour was great but Halloween has always kind of been our thing.”
“I missed it too.”
“And I miss you,” Alicent admits suddenly, sounding more desperate, more serious. “I know my job doesn’t make it easy but I’ll try, okay? I’ll try to be around more.”
“So will I.”
Alicent leans in and Rhaenyra’s next word lodges in her throat. There’s a moment where she thinks it’s finally happening, but then Alicent’s lips press softly against her cheek and she manages to breathe out. Just.
She wants to ask why Alicent never corrected anyone, but the thought of the conversation it might finally cause holds her back. Alicent wants to see her more, to make that effort to get back to where they were, and she can’t put that in jeopardy before it even starts.
“Scream?” Alicent asks, when she pulls away. “I mean unless you need to get home.”
“I think I can make time for tradition.”
-
“The games we played till now are at an end.”
They do better. It’s still hard, but they make as much time for each other as they can.
Rhaenyra stays over more.
“Why don’t we ever spend time at your place?” Alicent asks her one Sunday, the only day they both have completely free.
“Because it’s cold, it’s a showroom,” Rhaenyra says, honest in her half asleep state. “This feels more like home.”
And so Alicent makes it a home.
Rhaenyra’s clothes end up in her wardrobe, rather than just in a bag she brings over when she knows she’ll stay the night. Alicent makes sure to have her favourite teas in the cupboard. She buys her slippers for when she’s there.
On her birthday she buys paints and an easel, and encourages a hobby Rhaenyra hasn’t done since high school. Something relaxing that she can love, if she’s going to insist on a job she doesn’t much care for. The first thing she completes Alicent hangs in the living room, even as Rhaenyra protests it’s not good enough.
It’s abstract anyway, who’s going to know?
After a while Rhaenyra is spending more nights at her house than she is at her own apartment.
And they don’t talk about it.
Don’t talk about the fact they’ve basically acted like a married couple since they were teenagers.
Don’t talk about the fact they’re living together but still paying for two places.
Don’t talk about the fact neither of them has been on a date in a year.
Instead Alicent tortures herself by wondering if Rhaenyra’s feelings might still be there, but never takes the final step to fully find out.
Deep down she knows they must be. The lingering looks, the soft touches, it all becomes more blatant and more charged over the months, but still they don’t speak of it.
She knows. They both know. But neither of them want to be the reason more develops when it has every chance of falling apart and taking them out of each other’s life forever.
They’re only just rebuilding and she isn’t ready to lose it all again.
But this time at least, she knows she’ll eventually have to make a move. They can’t exist in this orbit forever. One day they’ll either collide or break free.
-
In June Alicent takes over the role of Christine in The Phantom of the Opera, and Rhaenyra is the proudest Alicent has ever seen her.
She dotes on her, comes to lunch with the cast, and even manages to meet producers she’s definitely called cunts more than once without saying anything terrible.
They all seem to make their assumptions, and Rhaenyra never corrects them. Neither does Alicent.
On Alicent’s first night, Rhaenyra buys the biggest bunch of flowers Alicent has ever seen, and delivers them personally to her dressing room where they barely fit through the door.
Gardenias.
“They’re for celebrating new beginnings,” Rhaenyra tells her, kissing her cheek.
-
At the end of August their Raoul breaks his leg at a stag party and is out of the production. Alicent plays opposite the understudy for a while before an emergency replacement is brought in.
It’s Criston Cole.
Alicent hates it. Hates that they’re selling the news on the fact they’ve known each other since they were children. Hates that all the community chatter online becomes about their chemistry and how real it is, as if Alicent isn’t just a good fucking actress.
Rhaenyra possibly hates it even more. Mostly because she’s barely been able to tolerate Criston since Alicent briefly dated him as a teenager (and that makes a whole lot more sense now), but it’s definitely not improved by the smug grin he seems to wear any time he’s in Rhaenyra’s presence.
He’s annoying, but he’s amazing in the role, and Alicent just has to put up with him for a few months. Hopefully.
-
Not long after Criston joins, Alicent is pulled into a meeting.
To revive excitement for an ageing show, especially after its recent closure on Broadway, they’re holding a masquerade ball for Halloween. Not exactly open to the public, but something that’s bound to drum up press with its extravagance and the fact they’re inviting people that have previously taken part in the production to attend.
Rhaenyra finds out the news when she joins Alicent for lunch with the cast, and Criston is as antagonistic as ever.
“Guess you’ll be my Christine for the night,” he says, gaze passing over Rhaenyra to land on Alicent. “It’s a shame really, don’t you two usually do a costume together?”
Rhaenyra shovels food into her mouth and doesn’t speak, knuckles white around her fork instead. Alicent places a hand on her knee under the table.
She’s not entirely sure what Criston gets out of antagonising Rhaenyra, especially when she’s the one Alicent thinks he was interested in to begin with. Even when they’d dated it had seemed like a pathetic bid to get Rhaenyra’s attention, and Alicent knows now that her agreement had been for the exact same reason.
Rhaenyra insists later that it doesn’t upset her, but she’s not very good at hiding it. She perks up a little at least when she’s assured that of course she gets to come, the whole company loves her. Alicent even gets permission to throw her at the costume department for them to dress her in one of the ensemble costumes so she’ll look the part.
“Just don’t spill anything on it, please, I won’t hear the end of it,” Alicent says, as they stand in costume storage, having finally settled on a red dragon mask and its matching suit.
Harwin Strong, the current Phantom, slaps Rhaenyra affectionately on the back. He’s the cast member Rhaenyra has taken to the most, and it’s a relief they get along so much, since Alicent doesn’t need her at the throat of both men she has to kiss on stage.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” he says, giving Rhaenyra a wink.
Alicent doesn’t think anything of it.
-
‘I’m running late, I’ll be there soon, have fun x’
Alicent shoves her phone awkwardly back into the front of her dress, where it’s going to stab her in the boob the rest of the night. Unfortunately Christine’s dresses don’t tend to have pockets.
“I can keep that, if you’d like,” Criston says from her side, holding out his hand. They’re standing at the edge of a dance floor full of extravagant costumes moving in unison, clearly not participating. They won’t get away with it for long.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Right,” he says, “can’t have Rhaenyra unable to get hold of you every second of the day.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he says, taking a drink from the whiskey glass he’s holding. “Just that it’s impossible to be around one of you without the other looming over the entire experience.”
“It was eight years ago Criston, are you ever going to stop being an absolutely intolerable git over the fact neither of us want to fuck you?”
“I don’t know,” he says, grimacing slightly in response to the mouthful he’s just swallowed, “are you both ever going to stop being entirely exhausting and just make a move?”
Harwin approaches them before Alicent can answer, saving her from having to make a scathing remark she absolutely does not have.
“A dance?” he asks, holding out his hand. His eyes twinkle under the half mask he wears, like he knows he’s saving her from the conversation, “I think they’re wanting a photo opportunity.”
Criston stalks off, over towards Alys Rivers, the woman currently playing their Meg Giry, standing at a table of props by a popup photo booth.
“Put down the gun, Meg. Come dance with me,” Alicent hears him say, as she takes Harwin’s hand.
Harwin leads her through the steps as they twist elegantly around the other couples dancing, and Alicent feels her annoyance ebb away. He’s a relaxing presence, entirely in contrast to the way he plays The Phantom, which means when he spins her away to change partners halfway through the steps she feels like she’s been ripped away from her safety blanket.
Then gloved fingers lace with her own, picking up where her last partner left off, and Alicent stares into familiar blue eyes behind a half mask.
“Rhaenyra?”
She’s not wearing the costume they picked out at all, instead she’s dressed in a finely tailored tailcoat and trousers, topped with a half mask identical to Harwin’s own. But it’s still Rhaenyra, which means she can’t just be simple, so Alicent can see the edge of The Phantom’s facial prosthetics under the mask as she grins.
“Sorry I’m late,” she says, and Alicent hates her a little for just how smooth it is.
“What is all this?”
“Well, I couldn’t break a tradition, could I?” Rhaenyra asks, spinning her and pulling her close, Alicent’s back to her front. She knows the steps, and Alicent smiles to herself at the effort.
“Are you going to get me in trouble?”
“It’s fine, Harwin helped me clear it, and the makeup girls were very excited to help.” Rhaenyra looks entirely mischievous when Alicent turns in her arms again to face her.
“You’re such a show-off, “ Alicent says with a laugh, leaning into her.
“Anything for my angel of music.”
“Cheesy too.”
“You love it.”
“Yeah,” Alicent agrees, reaching up to touch the mask, to remove it as she brings her face closer to Rhaenyra’s own. “I think I do.”
-
The next morning Whats On Stage has an article about the Halloween masquerade ball topped with a photo of Alicent kissing her mysterious Phantom. Rhaenyra’s face is still lightly obscured by the mask Alicent is holding, but every one of their friends knows exactly who it is.
-
“To live without you, only that would be torture.” “A day alone, only that would be death.”
“We’re out of mixers, love.”
“Ah, there’s more in the kitchen. I’ll go grab them, cara mia.”
“Please tell me this is just them being in character and they’re not like this all the time now,” Laenor says, watching as Rhaenyra kisses up Alicent’s arm and continues on to her neck. When she surfaces the thin moustache that has been drawn onto her upper lip is slightly smudged.
Laena throws popcorn in their direction from the sofa, lounging with her head on Joffrey’s lap. “I mean it’s not far off, is it? You’re lucky you’re never here, every time I come over for a coffee they’re practically mounting each other.”
“Hey,” Alicent calls over, crossing her arms and fixing her friend with a steely expression. It only helps to enhance the Morticia Addams costume, the slight eyebrow raise perfecting it.
“I don’t see what the problem is,” Rhaenyra says, resting her head on Alicent’s shoulder to smirk over at their friends. “First you complain we’re not together, now you complain we are.”
“We’re just saying, maybe if you took it down to like a seven everyone would be a lot more comfortable,” Laena suggests with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
Rhaenyra knows she’s full of shit, the “finally” she’d screamed after finding out they’d officially gotten together had been at a pitch only dogs could hear.
She was happy for them, all their friends were, or at the very least happy that they didn’t have to watch another year of their push and pull. They finally “landed the plane” as Harwin had put it.
(“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Laena had said, when he’d made that comment in front of her, “you’ve only had to watch them for months, I’ve been putting up with this since we were kids.”)
Alicent watches their friends relax from the doorway of the living room, Rhaenyra’s hands still around her waist, body warm against her own. Content.
“Will you guys hurry up? We have like five movies to watch,” Laenor calls over. They don’t move.
“Let's do this every year,” Rhaenyra says quietly into her ear, making her shiver.
“And what will we be next year?”
“Hmmm… we never did get to be Billy and Sidney.”
“Doesn’t he try to kill her?”
“Well I mean… yeah, but what couple hasn’t tried to lightly stab each other once or twice?”
“‘You sick fuck,’” Alicent quotes with a laugh, turning to kiss her, “‘you’ve seen one too many scary movies.’”