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Mangled mirror

Summary:

A blind girl and a crippled boy have a little chat about parallels and living curses

Notes:

Fill for the nasu kinkmeme prompt “I would like a story based on the phrase "Don't touch me, but please don't leave me" someone who is extremely afraid of connection and of being hurt by it, but also can't stand being alone and left behind, always longing for someone, while being eternally afraid of being seen.”
Also a sequel to and set directly after the fill “We have puppets”.

Work Text:

Deep underground, below a forgotten water tank, where only faint blue light reaches. There’s a sickly woman sleeping on a couch. Long black hair, white nightgown, sickly face. A ghostly aura, crowned by the actual ghost of her floating above her resting body.

 

Beautiful, isn’t it?

 

“Hey, you. You’re finally asleep.”

 

She stares at me, her face only showing confusion. Of course, her life has been turned upside down in just one day. Specifically, today. This is Kirie Fujou, the girl I switched bodies with, for a reason I’m yet to uncover. It wouldn’t be fun if you knew the cause from the beginning, right? Yes, Fujou. Last of a demon hunter clan, now employed to a true demon. The irony is so sweet you could kill a diabetic with it. 

 

She doesn’t answer, and just keeps staring with a worried expression. Don’t worry, I don’t bite. The demons I use as prosthetic limbs take care of that. Normally I would enjoy this kind of reaction, but it’s not that really interesting with her. 

When I said that I, Kaie Karyou, am a demon, it was not in a metaphorical sense. A true demon. The ones that come from beyond the corners of human understanding. A perpetual reminder that there are things you will never fully understand. The ones that crave human fear more than anything.

 

But, with Kirie? It’s no fun. There’s nothing to poke or break, she’s already a mess. Oddly enough, I still find myself wanting to find out more about her, and not just because she is an actual psychic rather than a fake “possesed”.

 

“So, are you Kirie?”

 

“...yes? Why are you asking that?”

 

“To make sure you’re an Ikiryo.”

 

“...”

 

“Astral projection, stray soul. The very idea of yourself leaving the borders that other people defined as ‘you’”.

 

That's not a very amusing scared confused face. I'll give it a 6/10. At least we’re getting somewhere.

 

“When a soul escapes its body, it also escapes its mental restraints. The ideas that you keep repressed will come out.”

 

“You mean… I killed them?”

 

Oh, now it’s getting good.

 

“Yes. Even if you didn’t know what you were doing, or what the consequences would be, your desire was to have those girls be closer to you, whatever the cost, right?”

 

A quiet nod. Oh, aren’t you lonely, poor little butterfly? You are screaming out loud for a normal friend in a pretty normal life, even if the normal world is the thing that mangled your wings. Left all alone in a crippled body, dependent on a supernatural puppet to function…

 

…maybe that’s why I'm so interested in her. Our physical situation is practically the same. Blind crippled body, ghost to see. All limbs amputated, demons as extremities. We even look somewhat alike. 

However, our mental situations couldn’t be any more different.

 

“...can you help me?”

 

“You already asked me that question before sunset. That’s why you are here.”

 

A little bit of silence. Leave her with her surely chaotic and most likely regret-filled thoughts for a while. The faint blue light flickers, blocked by the fish-like shadow in the water tank. Oh hi, Sorrow. Our main guest is staring at you.

 

“Do your limb creatures work like my ghost?”

 

“Not quite. Your Ikiryo is your soul, your thoughts. Even if it feels like a dream-like state, it’s still you. My demons can think on their own, but they are still a part of me, so their thoughts align with mine and are ultimately bound to my command.”

 

I mentally tell Sorrow to stare in her general direction for a few seconds. Isn’t that fearful trembling just adorable… 

 

“When I was in your body, I was taken to an old building. The one that belonged to your family, correct?”

 

“...yes.”

 

“Our abilities are not simple puppets, they are part of us. We didn’t just switch bodies, we switched a major portion of ourselves. When I was you, my Ikiryo appeared in an abandoned building I had no memory of. Was this building of importance to you?”

 

“It belonged to my family… why are you asking me all of this!?”

 

“An Ikiryo is entirely dependent on the user’s mind. To understand your living ghost, I have to understand you.”

 

Also, it’s fun to poke people to see what they hide.

 

“You miss your family.”

 

Nod.

 

“What did you want from them?”

 

“Just… their company. A normal life.”

 

“If your deepest desire is to reclaim your normal life, then why did your Ikiryo spawn here?”

 

This place is anything but normal, and I'm quite proud of that.

 

“I… I need to learn to control this… so I don’t kill anyone again…”

 

“And why would you kill anyone? Your reason for killing was a desperate attempt for company, and not even fully intentional. You already found an emotional attachment to Arika, right?”

 

She nods again. It's pretty obvious she’s fond of my favorite source of entertainment. Take a shovel girl, you’ll need it to find your standards.

 

“You got what you wanted, but you still came here. Why?”

 

“...what if it’s… not enough for this… thing… this me. What if I try to take him as I took them?”

 

“So, that’s it? You crave the company of others, but also want them away from you, so you don’t hurt them?”

 

And another shy nod.

 

“When you were me, how did it feel to call Sorrow?”

 

“I… was terrified.”

 

She looks up. Sorrow is not visible at the moment. Good timing.

 

“That thing almost killed someone, and I felt it coming out of me. Part of me was glad to be protected, but… something like that shouldn’t have been part of me.”

 

I see, I was too dark for you, miss goody-two-shoes-with-accidental-septuple-murder.

 

“Attack me.”

 

“What?”

 

“See. If you were as uncontrollable as you think you are, you wouldn’t have doubted that order.”

 

“...”

 

“I’m serious, by the way. Take my soul. I want you to be aware of what exactly your curse is. Do it.”

 

For a moment, there’s almost total silence. Only faint watery noises, and the faint breaths of a blind girl and a crippled boy. And then, it starts. An invitation. A desire to be free, to fly, by discarding your body. Gently crawling from inside you, as if it had always been there and only needed the right push…

 

I’m laughing.

 

“Kinda nice.”

 

The mental pull stops. Now that’s a proper scared face.

 

“...”

 

“What? Didn’t Arika tell you I was a demon? What you call ‘horror’ is my joy.”

 

“Why are you doing this? Do you like messing with me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“...Arika wasn’t exaggerating about you. Do you… want to hurt us?”

 

“Just because I like watching people in fear doesn’t mean I’m going to terrorize anything that moves. I do find you interesting and Arika amusing, plus his services are helpful, so I won’t attempt anything that could result in serious harm… physical, that is. I want both of you alive.”

 

“...maybe you’re like me?”

 

“It took you this long to realize our abilities and bodies are somewhat alike?”

 

“No, in mind.”

 

Oh, now this is getting good.

 

“I would say we’re practically psychological opposites, but tell me why you think that’s not the case.”

 

“You’re right about me wanting company but being afraid of hurting people, but… aren’t you also like that? You gave me a second chance even after what happened, and agreed to help me… but you don’t really treat me -or Arika- as friends, more like… playthings.”

 

“So you’re saying my need for entertainment is similar to your need for company?”

 

“Yes, but you don’t push us away because you’re afraid of hurting us, but rather, because you don’t want us to actually be your friends.”

 

“...I gotta say, you’re smarter than I thought you would be. It's going to be good having you around. But, next time, you sleep at Arika’s place.”

 

“What?”

 

“You Ikiryo issue is mostly sorted out, and we can continue during the day. I like my sleep. Maybe go fly around the city in the meantime, doing something harmless with your ghost body will make you more confident about using it.”

 

She gives her final nod for tonight, and slowly leaves me alone. I look at her sleeping real body, and think about what she said. She’s right, I do not desire any form of “friendship”, but I still find myself longing for company… only to get entertainment out of them. In a way, it’s the same as her situation. “Please come here, but don’t touch me”. Except, the second part of the sentence is true. I really don’t want you to touch me. I don’t want your compassion, I want your fear, to poke your mind to see what’s inside.

 

Then it hits me, why I’m so interested in her.







Because Kirie Fujou is what Kaie Karyou would have been like, had he been born as a human.

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