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Dead Pixels.

Chapter 4: Vulnerable.

Summary:

i would eat molten glass for anya and daisuke to live the life they deserve tbh

Chapter Text

Anya would clean up and leave before Jimmy had the chance to even see her— all thanks to Daisuke and his silliness at the table. Things didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable when Daisuke would fill the silence with anything he could. More often than not it was aimed at their co-pilot. He was really jumping through hoops to find anything he could talk about. It felt normal for a little while but nothing going on when the night screen came up was normal. But when Daisuke gave her the chance to escape the kitchen, Anya found it pathetic of herself. She felt guilty for how he'd have to do that but at the same time it made her chest burn. But it wasn't the kind that left her gasping for air and wanting to imagine herself far, far away. The nurse leaned against the door. Pressing her back hard against it. Her fingers would reach to fiddle with the lock a few times. She found safety in that satisfying, reassuring click. She repeated this act of unlocking and locking the door a few times before leaving it locked and taking a seat at her desk.

She sat feeling as much shame and guilt as she did appreciation for the intern. Anya didn't know what Jimmy was capable outside the times he could catch her alone. She was scared and didn't want to get the boy hurt and yet Daisuke's suspicions and obvious want to help her made her head feel heavy. Her heart, too. While she tried to distract herself with work she was preparing to tell Daisuke...something. Anya truthfully didn't know what. She still felt too embarrassed to tell him the details but...maybe a warning would be good enough. The woman chewed at the cap of her pen. It calmed her nerves while she awaited the late night. A series of hard knocks came at the door after a while and it snapped her out of her thoughts, out of the mundane task of copying the recent psych evals into her computer. It made her jump when she first heard it. It'd take her a second to get up, but as she did a panting voice followed. Its tone was familiar and trembled as it called for her.

It was Daisuke in clear distress.

She'd unlock the door to med bay quickly upon hearing he was hurt. Who she was met with was a sweaty, half-bent over Daisuke. A flustered mess as he bolted right into her office and sliding the door shut. He'd lock it just as she had it. "Daisuke-" she'd start, immediately getting into the groove of grabbing him a glass of water. It was obvious he'd been running with how he'd finish his cup. Their little banter would be pleasant during the late night. It made Anya feel a lot less anxious than she was before he'd come in needing her aid. She liked to take care of people. Sure, she wasn't the best nurse out there, but her level in basic care was a lot higher than Jimmy tried to make her feel like it was. Only Daisuke had lied, his real reason for rushing to med bay like he did was still unknown but Anya wouldn't question the poor boy further. After all she had her own theories why he was here. Captain Curly had stopped by to let her know a few documents had to be sent out to the medical team on base as well as to see if she'd seen Jimmy at all. He'd ask that question awkwardly. His voice flat, his eyes never meeting hers. With how protective Daisuke had been being he'd probably overheard Curly asking around and rushed over. It was nice— the quiet sitting over them now, just taking in the comfort the intern provided by just being here with her. Except the meeting she'd originally planned to have later in the night sat heavy in her mind. Weighing over the peace she wanted, craved.

"I do-" Daisuke answered her question, a lot more enthusiastic to hear than she thought he'd be. She'd grin, shaking her head with a soft chuckle. His reactions were always so silly, so loud but in ways that didn't make Anya want to run. Which she supposed was part of why Anya was even opening up to the boy. It felt good to be heard snd Daisuke had been the one that reached out to help. This could all be over if she were to outright tell him but Jimmy's impulsive behaviour made it hard for her to find the confidence to do that. Now was her chance; her voice getting stuck in her throat, choking her up when she tried to speak. She'd swallow dryly. Her eyes falling to the floor while Anya couldn't even figure out how to start. She was secretly expecting to be ignored again despite the way Daisuke had been treating her since their little talk at breakfast. Anya's heart was beating hard again but what steadied it was the shy, reassuring voice of the boy that kicked his legs. Sitting on the medical bed. Looking at her with those soft eyes that she felt too ashamed to look back into.
"... You don't need to tell me the things that are hard to say." he'd say. Flashing her a smile that made the on-loop worries stop. "Whatever you can tell me about him is enough. I...I really wanna help you if he's hurting you, Anya-"
For the briefest moment, her head was quiet. It'd only grow clearer to think after he reached for her hand. The squeeze he gave her felt secure. It was in this act of genuine support that she'd realise Daisuke made her feel the same way she felt when she heard the lock click. Anya held his hand right back. Not letting go because she feared she'd crumble if she did. She wanted his help, needed it, as much as she wanted to reject it. He was still so young. Anya didn't truly know if he could even really help.
"Jimmy is a bad man."
"I had a feeling," the boy replied. His thumb stroking the softness of her skin. She was trembling slightly but Daisuke didn't mind it. He wanted her to feel safe to be vulnerable around him like this. Sure, the nurse didn't have a clue of how lovestruck she'd have him sometimes, but he still wanted to be a friend she could rely on. He'd let her go on. Not wanting to miss even s word she said next.
"He-He's a lot like a rat." Anya's voice shook, raising in tone but never going above a whisper. "Scuttling around. Acting kind at face value but beneath the mask Jimmy is...dirty." Boy, did Daisuke know that one. He wouldn't let on to Anya he knew though. He could still feel the remnants of dirt and the fruity rot of that bowl under Jimmy's bed. Anya picked her head back up. The boy could see her eyes were glossy. Wet with the threat of tears. "Anya." he said her name so sweetly. Making sure he didn't raise his voice. "You can stop if it's difficult. You mean more to me than putting you through something thats only gonna leave you more upset."
Anya wanted so badly to open herself up fully. But she'd still never risk his safety for herself. "You've always been so kind to me, Daisuke." she'd take a deep breath to relax. "I can do this. I can't tell you what he's done but I can give you a warning: Jimmy is dangerous. And you need to be careful. I don't know how he does it but he has eyes everywhere."
"Is..is he watching now?" Daisuke would ask. He didn't want to show Anya he was frightened but he wasn't very good at acting brave.
"I don't think he is. Not yet. Honestly I think he listens through the vents. Whether he's hiding inside or just listening to the sound travel through them." Anya admitted, voicing these thoughts she'd kept to herself for too long. As she kept talking to Daisuke the shaking nerves would start to subside. She felt that anchor holding her down let up. For the first time in two months she could ease the tension that made her muscles ache. Anya felt like she was buzzing, having finally said something that could at least ease the stress of her current predicament. "What I'm trying to say is I want you to be cautious around him." she'd stand up, still holding the boy's hand. She was so close where she stood and Daisuke noted to himself that she smelled like vanilla and cream. "You're a good boy, Daisuke. I don't like the thought of you getting hurt by him trying to protect me."

Daisuke's cheeks would flush a deeper shade of red now. How was it she could pull these feelings snd reactions out of by barely doing anything? Before he realised what he was doing Daisuke's arms were wrapping snug around Anya's midsection. Holding her in the warmest, tightest hug he could. His head was turned to the side as not to get a face-full of her bosom— Daisuke was raised to at least be a respectful boy. Anya wouldn't know how to handle the sudden hug. She wasn't scared, upset or uncomfortable. Just....surprised. Daisuke's affection was returned, shyly as she'd rub his back when she reached over his shoulders to return his embrace. Anya felt oddly giddy. Butterflies fluttering in her stomach as he held her and it was almost twice as flustering for the young boy that was clinging to her like she was the first solid star he's ever touched. "You're a strange little creature, but I do appreciate you," Anya giggled. And that giggle brightened such a sad scene that played out seconds before. She'd savour his touch, though. Daisuke felt clean when he touched her. His hands never drifted where they shouldn't. She liked that they could just stay there like that. Not moving until Daisuke parted to give her a firm stare. Perhaps this boy was unpredictable too because the look in Daisuke's eyes gave Anya the inkling feeling he had...a plan, of some kind. It was good knowing it didn't involve her but she was still confused nonetheless.
"Y-Yeah?" she'd stutter out, smiling playfully at his change in expression and demeanor.
"Anya. I promise to be safe."
"Thats a relief! For a second I thought you were gonna-"
"I promise to keep you safe too. Even if that means Jimmy wants to 1v1 me in the cockpit."
"Honey no-" Anya was trying to get it through Daisuke's head not to intimidate or get Jimmy's attention. She'd sigh, shaking her head in mock disappointment. Yet the boy was still as much of a puppy as ever while he sat looking so proud of himself. Anya was proud too— he'd taken that warning without shifting his suspicions onto her, or passing it off as a paranoid woman's delusions. Daisuke hopped off the bed. He noticed it was only getting later and while he wanted to spend longer with Anya he still had a job; reaching for her hand again he'd lean forward to place a kiss to the top of it. Treating her like a princess, because to him it was what she deserved. It made Anya heat up when he did this, and she'd pull her hand away to shoo him off.
"Quit being goofy," she scolded, but Daisuke was glad he could make her night better like this. "Get yourself to bed now, Daisuke. I'm sure that was a lot to process. Just...don't do anything impulsive. Jimmy is just as impulsive but in every way you're not: he isn't good." Anya warned him. Her tone much more stern and it reminded Daisuke of home. Of when his mother would get on him to behave. Hearing it from Anya had him rethinking the plan to go back to Jimmy's room tonight. At least, for now. She'd called him good! And dammit, was Daisuke sure feeling it.
"Yes ma'am-" he'd say. Nodding obediently and earning a relaxed smile from woman he'd make it his goal to keep safe. He wanted to keep her smiling and laughing like she was. Saying their goodnights Daisuke would go to leave but before he left he made sure Anya was reassured. "I'll be fine. So really, don't worry too much about me."
Anya nodded, "I'll try not to, Daisuke. Have a good rest."

He'd finally gotten to talk to Anya. The walk from med bay to his sleeping chambers was like walking in a field of flowers, only every flower smelled like her and he was drowning it. Missing the feeling of how plush she was to hold, missing how she held his hand tight; Daisuke was so happy at how comfortable she felt to tell him Jimmy wasn't who Daisuke thought he was, and while that was something he was already suspecting it felt satisfying having it confirmed. He only wished he knew what Jimmy did but if Anya wasn't ready to indulge him in that part of this mystery going on, he wasn't going to force her. It just meant more snooping around. "Maybe if I talk to Swansea..." he thought aloud, his hand grasping the handle to his room. He'd be just ready to head to bed when a voice calling out from down the other end of the hall made him jump. It was loud. With that deep, gruff undertone that sounded grating to the ears. The smell of sweat and cigarettes on the air made it obvious who it was. Daisuke had not a single doubt about it. And as he turned around he'd see Jimmy. The poor light casting a shadow that made the man look like a beast in the dark.

"Talk to Swansea about what?" Jimmy was coming his way, every set of footsteps made Daisuke feel like he had to run. But he wouldn't. And the stench only got stronger when Jimmy was closer. He'd noticed it before but always passed it off as his overthinking but when Jimmy smiled it felt wrong. There was nothing happy or warm or inviting in that smile. It felt like evil incarnate. It was made more clear when the tone in his voice didn't match his face. His voice was angry, on edge despite the cracking mask of kindness he wore.

"Somethin' on your mind your good ol' co-Captain can help with, Daisuke?"