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Vinh wasn’t in a hurry.
On the contrary, he was enjoying the situation he was in. Sometimes, he felt like a high school boy, but he liked sending silly messages to Max. He liked hugging her and filling his phone with photos of her. He liked watching her when she wasn’t looking at him.
Weeks had passed since their first kiss. Things were progressing slowly between him and Max, but they had something. He was happy; maybe his feelings for Max weren’t exactly appropriate after what he had with Safi, but he didn’t care. The friendly flirtation with Max had turned into something completely different after that kiss at Turtle, and Vinh was trying to get used to this feeling. He knew Max had a lot on her plate. Super powers, the consequences of what Safi had done…
Vinh wasn’t in a hurry. But that didn’t mean he wanted to experience the same shit all over again.
He didn’t know what he was thinking when he leaned in to kiss her. Max had kissed him once before, in front of people, hadn’t she? They weren’t hiding whatever was between them. It wasn’t like what he had with Safi.
Right?
So… why had Max pushed him away?
The campus wasn’t very crowded. Vinh hadn’t noticed some students watching them from a distance. Even as the sting of rejection made his heart ache, he couldn’t take his eyes off Max. He hadn’t even realized he was holding onto her tightly until Max tried to pull away.
He let her go. What else could he do?
Max muttered an apology and quickly walked off toward the art faculty, while Vinh didn’t move.
He hadn’t planned on kissing her, but these days, when it came to Max, Vinh found it hard to hold himself back. She was brave, smart, strong. And, in a big change, she wasn’t treating Vinh like a dirty secret. She had kissed him that night at the bar in front of everyone.
“Just that one time,” he thought to himself. “In another timeline. When she was drunk.”
Without a second thought, he started walking toward Turtles.
It wasn’t even noon yet. Aside from a few students and Amanda, the place was almost empty. Vinh greeted Amanda and took a seat on a barstool.
“I’ll have a whiskey.”
Amanda raised her eyebrows and looked at him.
“You look terrible.”
“How kind of you,” Vinh brushed her off with his signature charismatic smile. “Make it a double.”
As Amanda reached for the glasses, Vinh glanced over to the corner where he’d sat with Max before and took a deep breath. He’d lived this story before. Once again, he was falling in love with someone who didn’t even want to be seen with him. Life was such a damn—
“Thinking about Max?” Amanda set the glass of whiskey down in front of Vinh.
Amanda wasn’t his friend. They weren’t close enough to share secrets, but whatever. Vinh felt too shitty to care.
“What makes you think that?” he asked.
Amanda leaned over the counter and chuckled softly.
“Experience… and the night you two made out here like no one else was around gave me an idea.”
Vinh took a large sip of his whiskey.
“Am I not boyfriend material?” he asked suddenly.
Amanda looked at him in surprise as Vinh downed the rest of his glass.
“Another one.”
As Amanda refilled his glass, Vinh felt the burn in his stomach. He hadn’t even had breakfast yet, but here he was, sitting in a bar, asking someone he barely knew a personal question. Just as he was about to tell her to forget it, Amanda spoke.
“I am not the best person to answer it but...You don’t seem like a bad guy. Aside from your fuckboy vibes,” Amanda smiled.
“Wow. Thanks,” Vinh said, taking a sip from his glass.
“You know I’m right,” Amanda shrugged.
“Is that why no girl I like ever wants to date me?” Vinh muttered to himself.
“Did Max say that?” Amanda’s question made Vinh sigh.
“Not exactly. I just… I don’t know. My ex—she wasn’t even really my ex. We were just hooking up, and she wanted to keep me a secret. Now I like someone again, and it feels like I’m going to go through the same thing. Am I such a fucked up person that no one would want to be my girlfriend?”
Amanda listened quietly as Vinh spilled his thoughts.
“So, have you talked to Max about this?” she asked.
“No.” Vinh shook his head. “I don’t want to look like some clingy fucker. I’m fine with taking it slow, but I’m not okay with hiding. Why can’t I kiss the girl I like whenever and wherever I want? Ever?”
“Boundaries, Vinh. Boundaries. Max doesn’t have some special power that lets her see how you feel… as far as I know,” Amanda smiled. “Tell her what you want. Ask her what she wants. You don’t have to know all the answers, but you have to start somewhere.”
Vinh groaned.
“I refuse to look clingy.”
Amanda laughed.
“Then I’ll leave the bottle,” she said, placing the whiskey bottle in front of Vinh. “You’re going to need more of it.”
Vinh shot her a dirty look and poured more whiskey into his empty glass.
“What if she tells me I’m only good for hooking up and no one in their right mind would ever actually date me?”
Amanda looked at him incredulously.
“No one would ever say that,” she said, but Vinh just shrugged. He was pretty sure Safi had thought that way back when they were barely a thing.
“You never know.”
The sound of a message on his phone made Vinh take a deep breath. There was only one person he was hoping to hear from.
1 new message
Max:
Can we talk?
“Is it From Max?” Amanda asked. Vinh nodded, as Amanda smiled at him.
“Be brave big bad boy.”
Vinh reluctantly touched to reply button.
You:
Come to Turtles.
After hitting send, he put his phone in his pocket. As Amanda left to check other customers, Vinh finished his last sip of whiskey and poured himself a new one. He was starting to feel a little tipsy. Lost in his thoughts, he jolted as a hand touched his shoulder after some time.
Max.
Vinh motioned for him to sit on the stool next to him. Max hesitantly sat down, looking at the half-empty whiskey bottle in front of Vinh.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked slowly.
Vinh shook his head. “No,” he said without looking at Max.
“I’m sorry.” Max placed her hand over Vinh’s, which was tightly gripping his glass. “It was a mistake…”
Vinh laughed, trying to mask the sting in his heart, and pulled his hand away from Max’s.
“So, is this the part where you tell me I’m only good for hooking up and no one in their right mind would ever really date me?”
Max looked at him in shock.
“What? Who would say something like that? We haven’t even done-”
Vinh interrupted. “I just have this feeling you’re going to say it. Especially after you said I was a mistake.”
Max turned Vinh to face her. “I didn’t say you were a mistake. Leaving you there and walking away was a mistake.”
Vinh studied Max’s face, trying to gauge if she was telling the truth.
“You didn’t want to be seen with me,” he said quietly.
“Vinh—”
“You’ve only kissed me once in public, and even then, you were drunk. You don’t like me. Not enough to date.”
That was as far as he could hold back. Fueled by the alcohol, he started speaking without thinking.
“I was scared,” Max said suddenly. “I’m still scared.”
“Of what?”
“Losing. Before I came here, I lost someone I cared about, and it left a scar. Then someone else came into my life, and I lost her, too. It feels like everyone I care about ends up gone.”
Vinh took Max’s hand gently. “I know what it feels like to lose someone. I lost a friend, and I lost… a lover.’’
He continued after a deep breath.
“You’re not going to lose me. I like you, Max. I don’t want to be just some guy you kiss once in a while. We don’t have to rush; It’s not like I’m proposing, you know. I just want to be by your side, and I want you to be by mine. I don’t want to hide how I feel or what I want. Not this time.”
They held each other’s gaze, and Vinh continued, “You don’t have to answer right now. Just… don’t shut me out.”
Before he could finish, Max leaned in and kissed him.
It was nothing like their first kiss. This felt real, so real, not a fuzzy memory. Vinh closed his eyes, savoring it.
After some time didn’t feel nearly long enough, Max pulled back. Vinh smiled at her as he tried to steady his breathing.
“I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but… are we dating? Officially?” he asked quickly. Max laughed at his flustered expression, and Vinh groaned.
“God, I sound so clingy.”
Max shook her head. “It’s fine.”
“Yeah, I mean, our lives have turned into a crappy superhero movie. Asking out the girl I like doesn’t sound all that pathetic by comparison.”
“If that’s what you want… then yes, we’re dating. Officially,” Max said.
Vinh shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not pressuring you, am I? Am I pushing you? You can reject me. I’d rather you don't—but you can."
Max gently stroked Vinh’s hand, it was perfectly warm. “You’re not pressuring me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Vinh took a deep breath and pulled her into a tight hug. They had all the time in the world; he just wanted to hold her close and feel the girl he liked in his arms.
In that moment, neither Vinh nor Max noticed Amanda watching them from across the room. She smiled to herself, and while seeing the girl she liked with someone else stung a bit, Amanda wasn’t the type to resent anyone’s happiness. Wishing them luck, she finally looked away.