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“There’s no way in hell I’m going to get dinner with you. Much less when it’s a couple’s dinner!” Franky yelled at Yuri.
Yuri just stared at him with that stupid smirk Frank wanted to wipe off of him.
"Let's calm down," Loid suggested, but both Franky and Yuri had no interest in listening to what Loid had to say right now. They were still pissed on what had happened and, already not liking each other, they took to blaming the other for this god awful mistake.
“Especially when I can take a cute date instead," Frank spat.
Yuri laughed. Franky glared at him. It was that arrogant laugh that Franky hated so much; pompous even. “That’s cute. You think someone would actually agree to go out with you.”
Angry, Franky slammed his hand on the cabin's nightstand. “Asshole!”
“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart.”
Franky glared at him. "Do NOT call me sweetheart!"
“Boys please. The kids are in the other room," Yor pleaded. Which to be fair, Franky still hadn't really been keen on letting Damian and Anya bunk together. Yuri wasn't either, but Loid and Yor argued that they were Anya's parents and that it was fine. Anya and Damian weren't dating anyway (which Yuri thought was a bs reason), but Bond was there too and it's not like they were sharing a bed so both uncles learned to deal with it.
To say Yuri and Franky were pissed about this surprise would be an understatement.
This cruise was highly sought after, because it held a raffle for couples to enter in order for the chance to win dinner with the captain and her wife. It was, apparently, a highly sought after prize, and Loid and Yor were one of the couples who had won. It was a six person affair. Two couples would join Captain Penny and her wife for this once in a life time opportunity and it was such a cool thing the ship offered but...
Somehow Yuri and Franky had been registered as a couple which really pissed them off.
Not because there was an issue with two boys being together, no. It was because they couldn't fucking stand each other.
Loid put his arms around them in an attempt to calm them down and put some space between the two. "Look you two don't have to go." Loid really wished they wouldn't. He wanted to give Yor a nice night out. She deserved it; especially something rare. He also wanted to make a good impression. If those two attended, they would just bicker all the time and sour the mood.
“Loi-Loi’s right," Yuri said and he ignored Loid's glare. "We already have to share this room for the cruise. There’s no reason for us to spend more time together.”
“For once I agree with you,” Franky mumbled. "We should just give it to the runner ups."
Yor put her hands together; satisfied with their solution. “Well now that that’s settled,” she turned to Loid, “We should find the Johnson's and introduce ourselves properly.”
Loid nodded. "I agree. That's a great idea, Yor."
Johnson's...
Franky and Yuri’s head shot up when they heard that surname.
“What?” Franky asked.
Yor turned to look at him. "Well they're the runner ups," she explained with a smile. "I'm sure they're next in line for it, since you two passed on it."
Yuir frowned. That name rung a bell, but why? "Why does it sound familiar?"
Before Loid could make the case that Johnson was just a common surname, Franky jumped up from the bed.
"Because they're that fucking couple that kicked our ass in shuffleboard!” And he said it with such hostility one would think Franky was talking about murders or something.
“Language,” Loid warned. “Franky, the Johnsons are in their seventies I seriously doubt they meant any harm.”
Yuri scoffed. "I hate it when old people get a pass for being old."
"Yuri they had good sportsmanship," Yor reminded him. "They weren't out to get you or anything."
Franky and Yuri shared the same fire in their eyes. “They totally were!”
“Gentlemen please—” Loid started.
Franky turned to Yuri, still angry but now it had been redirected to their loss in shuffleboard; redirected towards the Johnsons. “You realize what we have to do right?”
Yuri nodded, clearly just as pissed and petty as Franky was. “Franky will you do me the honor of being my fake date?”
“Yuri I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life!”
To say Loid was disturbed by this arrangement was an understatement. He had wanted them (for everyone's sake) to get along or tolerate each other but not bond over spite. Besides, how could those two possibly make it through dinner without a fight?
Yor smiled and held Loid’s had. “Hey they’re finally getting along.”
“For the wrong reasons,” Loid muttered. And plus he was sure it wasn't going to last. They were just out to get undeserving revenge on a sweet elderly couple. “You two could just let Johnson's have this one.”
Yuri and Franky snapped their heads towards Loid. “Fuck that!”
O - O - O
So far dinner was going over smoothly.
Honestly Loid and Yor were impressed how committed Franky and Yuri were to act like a couple just to spite the poor Johnsons who were the victims of a one-sided rivalry.
"So tell me," the captain said. "How long have you all been together? My Marla and I have been together for nearly thirty years now."
"Thirty-one, Penny," her wife corrected.
The captain let out a nervous laugh. "Yes my bad, dear."
Loid smiled and held Yor's hand. "We've been married for thirteen years."
“Wow. That’s impressive. I remember when Marla and I celebrated our thirteenth.” Captain Penny turned to Yuri and Franky. "What about you two? How long have you been together?"
Shit.
They hadn't gotten the time to fabricate a fake story, but in their defense they had just been so consumed by enacting their revenge on the Johnsons that they hadn't thought about anything else. They were going to have to wing it.
Unfortunately Yuri and Franky, both not being used to someone else taking the reigns for them, answered at the same time:
"Six months," Yuri said at the same time Franky unfortunately said,
"Six years."
Captain Penny raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Ah shit they were goin get caught caught. Yuri cleared his throat. "We dated for six years, but got engaged six months ago."
Marla clapped cheerfully. “Oh you're engaged! I remembered our engagement. I just love weddings! Tell me, who proposed?”
“Yuri did,” Franky blurted out.
‘Damn bastard,’ Yuri thought. Of course Franky would put him on the spot like that. Typical asshole. No matter. Yuri was better than he was.
In very conceivable way.
“And how did you do it?” The captain asked. “I just adore a good love story."
“It was at Christmas,” Yuri said with a smile. He looked at Franky for a second and flashed him a smile. He was going to have fun with this. “His favorite holiday.”
'Don't you dare use that smile you use on your dates, Briar,' Franky warned him with his gaze.
Yuri chuckled and turned back to everyone, clearly not taking Franky seriously. "I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it in time for the holiday. My job had sent me to Hugaria for a while."
It was then than Franky realized that Yuri was describing what happened last Christmas. Yuri moved his hand to hold Franky's. It had caught Franky off guard and he'd be lying if he said it didn't make him blush, but who wouldn't at the sudden display of affection? Especially from someone like Yuri. Everyone would have blushed! Well except maybe Loid, but he was a freak of nature with years of WISE training!
“So I called and let Franky know I wouldn’t be able to make it," Yuri explained. "He was devastated."
‘For Anya’s sake,’ Franky wanted to argue, but he bit his tongue.
“Secretly I called my sister and let her know I would be arriving Christmas Eve.” Yuri smiled and flashed him another smile just to get under his skin. “I hid in a room and Yor instructed Franky to open a present early. When he saw me, he cried like a baby.”
That made everyone swoon, but Franky hadn't cried. Actually, Yuri had called Franky so he could surprise Anya, but they were trying to lie, so he managed to just take whatever Yuri was saying.
Yuri closed his eyes with a smile as if he were recalling the memory that didn't exist. “I told him I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I couldn’t wait. I got down on one knee and asked him to marry me.”
Everyone let out a romantic sigh. Even Loid was playing along.
Yuri opened his eyes and glanced back at Franky. He blushed again when Yuri flashed him that smile.
'I hate him,' Franky told himself.
Yuri squeezed Franky's hand and took a deep breath. "And then he said no."
Everyone gasped including one from Loid. F
“You said no?” Marla asked in disbelief.
Franky shot Yuri and glare before he cleared his throat. “We had never really discussed marriage before!" He argued in an attempt to defend himself from something that never happened. "It took me by surprise! And we almost broke up over it, but we talked. It was a meaningful conversation. And—”
Yuri interrupted him. “And so when the clock struck midnight, I asked him to marry me again. This time he said yes.” Yuri looked at Franky with a smug look on his face. It made Franky mad. "He even cried again."
Marla wiped a tear away, “Oh it’s so beautiful!”
Yuri nodded. Franky was going to kill him. He just hadn't decided how yet. “We wanted to get married as soon as possible, but we just never found the time.”
Captain Penny perked up and she pursed her lips. Loid knew nothing good was going to happen next. "Well, what about now? Would you get married right now if you could?"
Yuri beamed. "Of course we would!"
"In a heartbeat," Franky chimed in.
The captain smiled. "I'm glad to hear that! If you'd like, I can marry you right now."
"Really?" Franky asked.
Captain Penny nodded. "Haven't you heard? A captain can marry two people on board."
Franky and Yuri both knew that wasn't really true. It was a common misconception, but why not play into the captain's game?
"If you're willing—" Franky started.
"We'd love to get married!" Yuri finished.
Loid turned to them. He looked nervous. "Hang on, guys wouldn't you prefer a wedding?"
"Nonsense, Loid," Yuri said. He gave Franky another smile. "I love your brother. I want nothing more to be with him."
'This is pretend,' Franky reminded himself. He managed a smile. "Yup. We'll get married right now!"
The captain smiled. "Great let me get my script! I'll be back!"
O - O - O
The next few days, were actually really good for Franky and Yuri.
It was almost as if they had become friends. Everyone noticed it— even Bond. Everyone, but Yuri and Franky realized how their dynamic had shifted.
"I can't believe I missed breakfast," Franky complained, but made no effort to get out of bed.
Yuri rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I brought you some."
Franky was taken aback by this and he sat up. "You did?"
"Mm." Yuri grabbed the food he had brought and brought it over to him. "I figured you weren't going to wake up in time."
Franky was dumbfounded by Yuri's kindness. “Uh... thanks."
Yuri shrugged. "No problem. I mean you did get me to bed the other night after I drank too much."
Franky laughed. "Yeah, well I just didn't want to see you get hurt."
"And I appreciate that."
"Can I ask for your opinion?" Yuri asked.
Franky closed his book and tossed it aside. "Go ahead, but I reserve the right not to answer."
"Do you think Anya and Damian are going to get together by the end of this summer?"
Franky chuckled. "Honestly? Probably not. Those two are dense are hell."
"Makes sense. She reminds me of you in that aspect," Yuri said.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Nothing."
Yuri looked at Franky who was busy reading again.
Don't get him wrong. He liked a good book now and then, but they were on a cruise! They could be doing something else. "Do you wanna go get a message?"
Franky frowned. "Aren't they couples only at this time?"
Yuri smirked. "I mean we are married right?"
Franky rolled his eyes, but put away his book. "We were just humoring the captain."
"Sure, but why not?"
"Alright fine, but tonight we're grabbing pizza from the buffet and you're watching a movie of my choice."
"Deal."
"Do you ever worry about the war?" Yuri asked.
"That's a stupid question."
Yuri laughed. "Okay poor choice of words." He looked at Franky. "But you know what I meant. So... do you?"
Franky sighed. "Of course I do. I lived through the first war." And why was he telling Yuri this?
Yuri clicked his tongue. "You know I was just a baby when it happened."
"Way to remind me that I robbed the cradle," Franky complained.
"Oh shut up." Yuri smirked. "You're only six years older."
"That doesn't make me feel better!"
Yuri ignored him. "You realize this means we started dating when I was twenty-six and you thirty-two?"
"Shut up!"
Yuri laughed. "And you made me propose. God why did I stay with you?"
Franky smirked. "Because of my stunning good looks."
Yuri rolled his eyes. "Oh I'm sure. I thought it was the scruffy beard."
"Hey!"
Yuri sighed and threw himself on his bed. "I hope everything turns out okay."
"Me too."
They sat in silence for a while, but Franky didn't like silence. It provided the perfect environment for his memories to creep in. And yet... he turned to find Yuri equally distressed by the silence. Franky exhaled. He couldn't believe he was doing this. "It was scary, you know?"
"I can imagine. Yor really doesn't like talking about it."
Franky bit his lip. "In a few hours, I had lost everything. My parents, our home, my childhood. It's something I don't want to happen again." He started tearing up despite not wanting to. He had spent so long telling Loid that spies don't do emotions and yet... "I don't think- no I know that I can't lose it all again." He felt Yuri hold his hand.
"You won't. I promise."
Franky studied Yuri's face. He seemed sincere. Tears started running down his face, but he smiled.
For some stupid reason, he believed Yuri.
O - O - O
Everything seemed going good until, of course, they made the mistake of asking the Johnsons for another rematch.
Franky threw his cue stick on the ground. "WE LOST AGAIN!" Franky yelled at Yuri.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE JOHNSONS MUST BE GODS!" Yuri yelled back.
"OR YOU FUCKING SUCK!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"Woah, gentlemen!" The captain said with concern and putting some space between them/ "There's no need for such harsh words. You can never take back something you say."
"He's the worst," Franky yelled. "How hard is shuffleboard? Even Bond could score better than you!"
"Hey I am not bad at it! They're just really good!" Yuri defended.
"You suck at everything!" Franky hissed. "How are you going to blame it on everyone being better than you?"
The captain separated them again. "Please. It's normal for couples to fight—"
"I should have never agreed to date you!" Yuri yelled.
Franky clenched his fists. "In case you haven't noticed, we're not at the dinner anymore! You don't have to keep that act up!"
"I'm sorry what?" Captain Penny asked.
"We lied," Franky confessed though he still had hostility in his voice. "We weren't dating. We can't even stand each other."
Yuri glared at Franky. "Well that's not how you've been acting these past few days."
Franky didn't give Yuri a response and instead answered the captain. "We just said that so those two wouldn't get it," He said, pointing to the Johnsons.
But Captain Penny just laughed. "And so you two got married for it?"
"It's not like we're actually married," Yuri said annoyed. "All captains just put on this marriage charade."
The captain frowned. "I don't know how to tell you this, but I can marry people. I have a license and everything."
Franky and Yuri stopped glaring at each other and faced her. Did she? Had they heard her right?
"What?!"
She crossed her arms. "Did you think I was just scamming couples? I told you I love romance. Part of the reason people enter for their chance to win a dinner with me is because they want me to marry them. Did you not notice the pictures on the walls? They were of couples I've married through the years.
“You need to fix this!” Franky begged. He pointed at Yuri. “I can’t be married to that!”
“Hey you’re no prize yourself, scruffy!"
Franky glared at him. "See this is why! You're a fucking asshole-"
Yuri held his hand to his ear. “I’m sorry I can’t hear you from down there!”
Franky saw red. “OH! FUCK YOU!” Franky lunged and started climbing Yuri.
“Enough!” The captain yelled.
They stopped mid action. Yuri reaching up and having a grip on Franky’s hair. Franky grabbing Yuri’s hair as well.
“You two are at the mercy of a divorce now.” She sighed. "I suggest visiting a divorce lawyer once you're back on land."
O - O - O
They spent three days completely ignoring each other.
Franky went as far as sleeping with Loid and Yor (much to Loid's annoyance). Which is probably what got Franky in his current situation. "Loid open this fucking door!" He yelled as he pounded on it.
"Not until you and Yuri make up," Loid said from the other side of the door.
Franky growled. "I'd rather die!"
"Well I'll be sure to plan your funeral," Yuri muttered with an eye roll as he turned the page on his book.
Franky snapped to face Yuri. "I'm not talking to you."
"You just did."
"Just because I want to tell you to shut the hell up!"
Yuri frowned and closed his book. "Are you really pissed about a stupid game?"
Franky ignored him and started to pound on the door again. "Loid!"
Yuri groaned and opened up his book again.
"No!" Loid said from the other side of the door. "I'll stay here all night if I have to!"
Franky had given up after an hour and jumped on his bed.
There was no way he could beat Loid in strength and Loid was holding the door knob on the other side. He might as well make peace that he was trapped and go to sleep or something.
"Give up already?" Yuri asked, still reading.
Franky glared at him. Fuck Yuri. "You'd know a lot about that, huh?"
Yuri closed his book, not bothering leave a bookmark this time."Okay what the hell is your problem? You can't be this mad over a stupid game."
"Well that stupid game was enough for you to make you want to fake date me."
"Yeah it's called being petty. There was no harm in it."
Franky sat up. "There was harm! We're fucking married!"
"I know that!" Yuri snapped. He took a deep breath and sighed. "But you're acting like it's the end of the world."
"Because it's weird!" Franky admitted. "You keep acting like we're actually dating."
"It's for the joke," Yuri defended.
"What joke Yuri? We got ourselves in a fucking mess!"
"Is it really that bad though?" Yuri asked. "What's so bad about me that you can't stand the idea of being married to me for the rest of summer before we can sort it out?"
Franky groaned. "There's nothing wrong with you, idiot. That's the problem."
Yuri didn't say anything for a moment. "So the problem is you like me?"
"I didn't say that," Franky quickly said. "But I'm worried that I'll get used to a different... dynamic."
"Would that be so bad?" Yuri asked. "I mean we've been having the 'I'm the better uncle' for twelve years. We could try getting along."
Franky sighed. "I suppose your right." He smirked. "But don't go falling for me, Briar."
Yuri laughed it made Franky frown. "You wish you could get me."
It made Franky laugh too. There was no way he'd end up with Yuri Briar out of all people. "I could get you to fall for me if I wanted you to be."
"Right. Cause you have a reputation for making people swoon over you."
Franky rolled his eyes. "But you know, I am still confused on how we won the dinner. I mean it’s not like either one us singed up.”
Yuri shrugged. He didn't know what had happened either. “Maybe they just a assumed since we shared a room."
"Yeah." Franky looked over at Yuri. "But you know, out of everyone, I'm glad you're my fake husband."
Yuri smiled. "I'm glad you're my fake husband too."