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Chapter 4: Leaving

Summary:

It was finally time to leave Timely, but Steve’s feelings hadn’t cooled at all.

Chapter Text


"General Lee, this is no place for you. These men behind you are Georgians and Virginians. They have never failed you and will not fail you here. Will you boys?"

-John Brown Gordon


“Time’s drawing near,” Natasha observed as she poured Steve a whiskey and pushed it across the bar to him.

Nodding eagerly, Steve grinned. “Another week, and then we’re gone.”

Cocking her head, she surveyed him with her piercing green eyes. “Gonna miss you both around here. Barnes, especially. He’s been the best employee I’ve had in a very long time. He’s a born protector, that one. Powerful thing to have. That feeling of security, I mean.”

“Buck’s always been…” Clearing his throat, Steve had to swallow his emotions before finishing. “He’s always been my right hand man. Always been there for me when I needed him. Our fight notwithstanding.”

“That wasn’t much of a fight.”

Shuddering at the memory, Steve tried to block out the echo of Bucky’s sex cries in the next room while Wanda went down on him, but he couldn’t forget the way the bed banged against the wall, Darcy squealing, and the shout of Bucky coming. It haunted him when he couldn’t sleep at night, and sometimes it provided exactly the motivation he needed when he took himself in his hand and jerked until he blew.

“He didn’t bunk with me for weeks afterward. I’d say it was a fight.”

“He did spend a lot of time here for a while.”

Disgruntled, Steve shot his whiskey and pushed the glass back toward her. She studied him as she poured again and tried to hide a smirk. Bustling away to handle other customers, Natasha shot him smug looks every so often, but Steve couldn’t think of anything else when Bucky came down the stairs with Darcy trailing behind him.

Tall and lean, Bucky sauntered in a way that made Steve drool. Unable to take his eyes off him, Steve tried not to wince as Bucky tucked in part of his shirttail and adjusted his belt. If anyone besides him bothered to look, they’d be able to tell in an instant that Bucky had been balls deep upstairs only a few minutes ago. A shot of jealousy coursed through him, and he downed another few fingers of whiskey before grabbing the bottle from behind the bar.

“You might want to slow down,” Natasha warned as she sidled back over to him. “All the whiskey in the world won’t keep that man from her bed until you leave.”

“Then we need to get the hell out of here,” Steve spat.

Leaning over, she whispered in his ear, “He’s just taking what he can get. Darcy’s never been who he really wants, Steve.”

Raising his head, he blinked at her. “Does he want you?”

Eyes softening, she shook her head. “No, Captain. I don’t have the right equipment.”

Utterly confused, Steve shook his head, but Bucky settled onto the stool next to him and gave him a lopsided smile. He looked tired, but his eyes sparkled and his cheeks were pink. Hair in disarray, Bucky looked like he’d been well fucked recently. Beyond frustrated, Steve put the whiskey bottle to his lips and drank.

“Everything okay, Rogers?”

Throat burning and eyes tearing, Steve gasped, “Fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

Swallowing hard, Steve swayed as he attempted to stand up and bumped into Bucky’s shoulder. His eyes burned, and he felt like he might lose the contents of his stomach. He could smell sex on Bucky, and it made him want to destroy the world around him.

“I’m fine,” he repeated because he couldn’t let Bucky know how out of it he was.

Motioning for a drink, Bucky took Steve’s arm and guided him back to the stool. “You’re fine, like you’re really fine?”

“No,” Steve insisted. “I’m fine. Like with an f.”

Snorting, Bucky rolled his eyes and shoved Steve down again when he lurched sideways. “Easy, buddy. You’re on a roll.”

“I need to use the privy.”

Because suddenly it was true. Steve needed to piss, but he really needed to get out of the saloon and away from the stench of sex on Bucky before he lost his mind. Anything to get out of here. Anything to forget that Bucky had fucked someone else, that he would never fuck Steve. The world lurched as Steve staggered to his feet.

“I’ve got you.”

Bucky’s voice curled in his ear, and Steve sagged against him. Somehow, they got to the door, and Bucky practically dragged him into the alley behind the saloon where the closest privy provided an escape for him. Unfortunately, he pitched forward at the door and almost fell into the hole. He would have if Bucky didn’t grab him by the belt loop and pull him back.

“Need help,” Steve mumbled. “Everything’s numb.”

The world tilted as Steve leaned against the door. Everything was hazy, but he could just make out Bucky’s face—because he always saw Bucky. Amusement quirked up Bucky’s lips, but his eyes were dark as he shook his head in exasperation.

“You need help, huh?” he asked in disbelief.

Nodding furiously, Steve almost tipped over again, but Bucky caught him. His heart lodged in his throat as Bucky stepped closer and put his hand on Steve’s belt. There was something dangerous there, something dark and full of a pulsating energy as he unfastened Steve’s trousers and pulled out his dick.

Cursing as Bucky’s fingers glanced over his tip, Steve suppressed a moan. He had to stay soft or he wouldn’t be able to relieve himself, but Bucky’s touch…it felt like heaven after being so despondent at the sight of Bucky coming down the brothel’s stairs.

Crowding into him, Bucky put his mouth to Steve’s ear and growled, “Take a piss, Steve. You’re drunk as a skunk, and I’m not in the mood to babysit you tonight.”

Mouth dry, Steve stumbled sideways but managed to step into the privy and point his cock at the hole there. Groaning as he emptied his bladder, he shook it in an attempt to stay soft, but he could feel Bucky’s eyes boring into his back. Falling forward, he stuck out his hand and braced himself on the wall. Bowing his head, he watched the stream disappear into the darkness. His dick…hadn’t seen attention in a while, he realized.

“You done?” Bucky asked, his voice closer than expected.

Steve felt Bucky’s body heat against his back, shivered as Bucky’s arm slid around his waist and his breath ghosted over his earlobe. Insides burning with desire, Steve shifted and sagged against Bucky’s chest. For the briefest moment, he swore Bucky rolled his hips against him, but then Bucky’s hand was on his cock, tucking it back into his pants, and putting him back together.

“Let’s get you back to the room.”

Bucky’s voice was soft and low, and it rolled over him like water. Leaning into his best friend, Steve stopped caring about anything but the feel of hard muscle and warmth against him. Despite the turn of the season, a chill still hung in the air and settled into his bones.

“Thank you, Buck,” he said, the words slurred as Bucky tugged him across the street to the boarding house. “My best friend. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Stevie. You’re stuck with me.”

Hiccupping, Steve giggled as Bucky hauled him up the stairs and stopped in front of their door. Tucking his face into Bucky’s neck, Steve dragged his mouth over Bucky’s pulse point and inhaled sharply.

“You smell like sex.”

“And you reek like whiskey.”

Pouting, Steve protested as Bucky manhandled him over to the bed. “Sex with Darcy. Always having sex with Darcy.”

“Yeah, well, I pay her for it. Got nowhere else to go.”

He tried to say something, but the room tilted just then. Sinking onto the bed, he slipped off the side of the mattress and landed on his ass on the hard floor. The jolt scared him, but then he got tickled and started laughing. Once he started, he couldn’t stop.

“Come on, Captain Rogers. Let’s get you into bed. You need sleep.”

Shaking his head, Steve grumbled, “Don’t want to.”

“What do you want?”

Lifting his head, he blinked at Bucky. Crouched in front of him, Bucky swam in front of his eyes, and he had a sudden, horrible, terrible feeling that he’d lose him if they didn’t get out of here immediately.

“I want to leave.”

“The room?”

“Timely,” he whispered. “I want to leave tomorrow.”

Brushing the hair off Steve’s forehead, Bucky gave him a sad smile. “You’re drunk off your ass, Rogers. You won’t be in any condition to leave tomorrow.”

Stubbornness rose inside him, welling into his gut. “The day after, then. Please, Buck. This is no place for you, no place for us. We’ve been here long enough. I’m ready to go, to be out in the open with you again, to start our lives. Been waiting so long, Buck. Let’s get back on the road.”

Bucky cupped his jaw and rubbed his thumb over his cheek. The danger was back in his eyes, but there was also something else. Hunger. Longing. Steve could see how much Bucky wanted to agree, but he held back.

“You won’t remember this tomorrow,” he said softly. “You won’t remember asking me to leave, but I will if that’s what you want, Stevie.”

Mesmerized by Bucky’s tender tone, Steve didn’t say anything, could barely breathe at the intensity in Bucky’s gaze. Frozen, he felt the shift before it happened. Bucky leaned toward him, and Steve’s eyes closed in response. The lightest brush of Bucky’s lips grazed his, and he whimpered at the gentleness of the kiss. Sighing happily, Steve leaned back against the bed, too tired to do anything but smile like a dope.

“Let’s get you off the floor.”

Nodding agreeably, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and clung to him as Bucky lifted him and rolled him onto the bed. Moaning softly, Steve bit his bottom lip as Bucky tugged off his boots and unbuckled his belt again. If he didn’t think too hard, he could pretend this was Bucky undressing him, getting him naked in preparation for loving him. With his head spinning like it was, Steve could imagine almost anything.

When Steve was in nothing but his skivvies, Bucky tucked him under the covers and tried to stand, but Steve clung to his hand. Shaking his head, Bucky tried to pull away, but Steve couldn’t let him go.

“Don’t leave. Not tonight,” Steve pleaded. “The room’s spinning.”

Heaving a sigh, Bucky shook his head but gave in quicker than Steve expected. Snuggling into his pillow, Steve could hear the rustle of Bucky preparing for bed and hummed when the mattress dipped and Bucky climbed in next to him. Wrapping around him, Steve cuddled close to Bucky and held his breath until Bucky relaxed against him.

He wasn’t sure if it was because Bucky thought he wouldn’t remember or if the brush of Bucky’s lips against his had changed something. Instead of scooting away from him, Bucky cradled him close and traced Steve’s spine with his long, graceful fingers. Shivering from the sheer affection of Bucky’s touch, Steve tried to memorize everything, but his hold on consciousness was slipping.

“So tired,” he admitted in a garbled yawn.

Pressing his lips to Steve’s forehead, Bucky whispered, “Sleep, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

“Know you do, Buck. You always do. You’re my best guy.”

Curling around him, Steve slid his leg in between Bucky’s and moaned when Bucky nudged against him. Pressed tightly together, Steve breathed against Bucky’s neck and ground into Bucky’s hip. For several seconds, he humped against Bucky and finally understood how good it felt to feel that press against his cock.

“Stevie,” Bucky gasped. “Baby, I can’t—I can’t take it.”

Eyes drooping, Steve wrapped himself tighter around Bucky’s body. For the first time since they’d fought, Steve felt like all the tension and misunderstandings between them had disappeared. Safe and secure in Bucky’s hold, Steve nuzzled into Bucky’s neck and flirted with the edge of darkness. With any luck, this would be one of the last nights in this boarding house where they’d spent so much time together. He could just make out the feel of Bucky’s hand squeezing his ass as he slipped under and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

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