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Published:
2024-10-28
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2024-11-14
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22,710
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6/6
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though i never thought that it would end like this, just know i'll be here (waiting)

Chapter 6

Notes:

i might be rather sick rn so im sorry in advance if the quality drops about 3,000 words in but i didn't want to wait any longer (also it's not like i'm any better at writing endings when i'm healthy lol)

but here it is! not all threads are wrapped up but i might come back to this universe later with followups or a fic from Bam's POV after i chase some other plot bunnies for khunbam/ToG. we shall see where the inspiration takes me, but it might be a little while before i can write another fic bc i've got to start work on my final projects for this quarter once i'm healthy again

also im removing the "graphic depictions of violence" warning bc i thought i would end up more violent in ch 5 but i really didn't, and this one obviously didn't add any extra, so i don't think it really makes it to the graphic depictions level; if you think i should put it back on, lemme know!

content warnings: brief, vague mention of SA (that did not actually happen, a character just asks whether it did)

word count: 4,507

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The world was fire, burning through his veins and searing his lungs with every breath he took. Awareness came in flashes, his friends at his side one moment and gone the next.

Shibisu, easing him upright to take a sip of water. Endorsi, sprawled over the foot of his bed and staring at the ceiling. Ran, perched on a windowsill with a game board between him and Novick. Rak and Hatz, taking turns standing guard over the room.

Bam.

Bam, slipping through Aguero's doorway in the dim hours of dusk. Bam, sleeping at Aguero's bedside with his head pillowed on his arms. Bam, wiping the sweat from Aguero's brow with a cool cloth. Bam, patiently tilting a bowl of broth so that he could drink from it. Bam, clutching at Aguero's hand as though terrified Aguero would slip away if he wasn't holding on.

When Aguero finally fully woke, however, he was alone, the early morning light shining through his window. For once, there was no task for him to do, no crisis for him to solve. There was only the lingering heat of the fire fish, battling with the chill that was seeping into his limbs. He shuddered, pulling the blanket tighter around him in an attempt to keep the warmth trapped with him.

Voices crept in from outside the door.

"Are you trying to tell me that I can't visit my dear little brother before I leave?"

Of course, Maschenny had to come to torment him at his most vulnerable. "If you let her in, you're banished," he croaked out, breaking into coughs.

"Well, just because you asked so nicely," Endorsi replied, and the door swung open to allow Maschenny to enter.

"Endorsi," Aguero hissed when Endorsi followed her in, leaving the door open behind them.

"Bam won't let you banish me," Endorsi said, sauntering over to him and setting a cup of water on the table beside him. She perched on the edge of the bed, and despite her casual attitude, Aguero had seen her in enough battles to read the alertness in her posture. Though Endorsi stood no chance against someone like Maschenny, it was still an odd comfort to know she had placed herself between them.

Aguero nodded to Maschenny in greeting, managing to push himself upright enough to reach for the cup of water. He managed to hold himself steady even though his body ached, the pain from his chest having spread through his left shoulder.

"You must have talented physicians, to be recovering so quickly," Maschenny observed.

"We do," Aguero replied flatly, setting his water back down. "As much as I love to see you, Maschenny, was there a point to this visit?"

"Can I not simply wish my brother well before I depart?"

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't condescend to me."

"Very well." Maschenny tapped a finger against the side of her face. "I wanted to commend you on your success. Perhaps if you were less prone to dirtying your hands on the board with your pawns, you might even one day be something more than the consort to a little island nation."

It was an easy jab to make, hardly worth the energy of a reply. That, more than anything else, made the compliment sheathed inside ring true. Despite himself, Aguero's lips quirked up in a smile.

"I'll keep that in mind." He shifted so that he could lean his weight onto the headboard, unable to stop the relieved sigh that escaped him. "And you, did you see what you hoped for?"

"I saw enough," Maschenny replied. "Tell me, Aguero, if your husband remains a tool of FUG, will you continue to support him?"

"Bam is no one's tool," Aguero said sharply. He'd make sure of it.

"What a lovely fantasy," Maschenny laughed. "But you've already proven you're no fool. You know as well as I do that the two of you are too small to be anything but beholden to the whims of larger powers. The best you can do is decide whose puppet you'll be."

Aguero shook his head, but before he could retort, he spotted Bam in the doorway. How much Bam had heard, he didn't know, but the look on his face wasn't pleased.

Still, Aguero was distracted from Bam's mood by the drastic change in Bam's hair. Gone were the bangs hiding his eyes and the long ponytail worn in mourning. Instead, his short hair was worn in a ponytail just long enough for a band to hold it in place, bangs framing his face in a way that made the intensity of his golden gaze all the more striking. He was magnificent.

"Princess Maschenny," Bam said, passing by her to stop at Aguero's bedside. "I told you he wasn't up for visitors."

"I've said all I wanted." Maschenny directed one final smile to Aguero. "Consider what I said, little brother." With all the dignity of a daughter of Khun, she swept out of the room.

Endorsi groaned. "She's a piece of work. Never thought there'd be someone I'd want to spend less time around than you."

Aguero rolled his eyes. "Thank you," he said sardonically. "Don't you have anyone else to torment?"

"You two," Bam complained.

"Don't worry, I'll get out of your hair." Endorsi stretched languidly, taking her time walking to the door. "I don't want to be around for whatever you lovebirds are going to get up to."

"Good riddance," Aguero shot back, even as his cheeks flushed from her insinuation. He glared at her back until the door shut behind her.

"Aguero," Bam said, capturing Aguero's attention all over again with nothing more than a smile. His hand curled around the back of Aguero's neck, holding him in place as he sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to press their foreheads together. "Still a little feverish, but much better."

"How long was I out?"

Bam let out a shuddering breath, his head dropping down to rest against Aguero's shoulder. "Nearly a week."

That was too long. What did Bam have to deal with, while Aguero was wasting away in bed? Surely, while Maschenny was endorsing the legitimacy of Aguero's challenge, they wouldn't have to fear retaliation. Yet dealing with Maschenny was a trial in and of itself, a trial that Bam shouldn't have had to face on his own.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing important," Bam told him, his thumb running over Aguero's pulse point. Aguero shivered at the sensation, and Bam pulled away to look at him, gaze intent. His other hand came up to mirror the motion, thumbs stroking at the sensitive skin. Aguero's thoughts melted away under Bam's gentle attention, leaving only a haze of contentment in their wake.

"Aguero," Bam hummed, "I need you to promise me something."

"Anything," Aguero breathed. Bam's thumbs pressed into his neck, not enough to hurt, but enough to draw a longing sound from his throat.

"Never do that again." Bam's voice was low, dangerous in a way that Aguero rarely heard from him. The knowledge that none of the danger in it was directed at him made Aguero's lips curl up lazily in the corners.

"I know what you're doing," he murmured, even as he tilted his head back to bare his throat. The shadows in Bam's expression shifted as Bam's eyes flickered downward, then back to his face.

"Aguero, I'm serious," Bam insisted, though his gaze quickly returned to the column of Aguero's throat. "You almost died, even with the fire fish. I can't lose you."

"I'm not going to hide away and make you fight my battles," Aguero replied, reaching out to curl a hand around Bam's upper arm. He tugged on him, but Bam didn't budge.

"I'm not asking that. But no secret is worth your life, not even the fire fish."

"They'd be relentless if they found out," Aguero warned, but he could already feel his resolve waning. It was hard enough saying no to Bam on a regular day, but when every piece of him was begging for Bam to come closer and make up for every day of the years apart, it was a battle he'd already lost.

"We can figure things out if it comes to that. But I can't do that without you, Aguero."

"Fine," Aguero conceded, pulling on Bam again. "Just get over here."

Still, Bam remained where he was, his lips twisting in a frown. "I don't want to hurt you."

Even if Bam's hands on him hadn't been enough of a clue, Aguero still knew how to read the desire in Bam's eyes. "Bam," he said, voice dropping into the tone that always had Bam at his beck and call. "If you don't get into bed right now..."

Bam's eyes went wide, but he finally moved, bracing a knee on the edge of the bed as he leaned in to press his lips to the corner of Aguero's mouth.

"Don't tease me," Aguero huffed, tilting his head to try to catch Bam's lips with his own.

Bam laughed, pulling just out of reach. "Don't tease you? Like how you didn't tease me when you knew I was Viole?" In one fluid movement, he was on the bed, legs on either side of Aguero's hips but putting no weight on him.

"That's different," Aguero said. "You were trying to lie to me."

"It wasn't a lie," Bam said with a pout. Aguero reached up to wrap a hand around the back of his neck and tried to pull him back down, but Bam still didn't budge. "I am Viole. And I wanted your hand in marriage."

"And you pretended you weren't my husband." With his other hand, Aguero traced over Bam's ribs.

"It wasn't my idea." A petulant note entered Bam's voice, and Aguero couldn't help but laugh.

"You still went along with it," he pointed out.

"It's hard to say no when Xia Xia and Hwaryun put their minds to something." Bam sighed, leaning forward to tuck his head into the curve of Aguero's shoulder again. "Besides," he mumbled, "if you really had moved on from me, I didn't want to get in the way of that."

"I would never," Aguero assured him, slipping his fingers into Bam's hair. He tugged the band holding his ponytail loose, letting it drop onto the bed as he combed through the strands. "Nine years or nine hundred, Bam, my loyalty is yours." He would be Bam's until Bam moved on from him.

"Aguero..." Bam hummed against his neck, pressing a kiss to the skin there.

Aguero shuddered, letting his eyes fall shut. Now that he'd managed to get Bam into bed with him, he should have given into the temptation to stay there, but he couldn't shut off the questions that crept into his mind with the reminder of FUG's influence. As much as he hated to admit it, Maschenny was right that they would never be able to escape the powers of the world trying to exert control over them. Aguero needed to know what to prepare for.

"If you're a Slayer now—"

Teeth dug into the side of his neck, the sensation snapping through his crowding thoughts.

"Bam," Aguero gasped, and Bam pulled away.

"You're thinking too much," Bam complained, leaning back to settle his weight on Aguero's lap.

Aguero stared at him, heat rising in his cheeks as the feeling of Bam's teeth in his neck lingered. As if he could sense the state of Aguero's mind, Bam grinned.

"Did that help?" Bam teased. "Are you done thinking?"

"I..." Aguero swallowed. "If I say no, will you do that again?"

Bam blinked, then burst out laughing. "You're impossible," he said. He trailed his hand up Aguero's neck, cupping his cheek and guiding him into a soft kiss. Aguero pressed into him, warmth pooling in him.

He nipped at Bam's lip, tangling his fingers in his hair. After so long, having Bam in his embrace again was intoxicating. "Bam," he murmured, shifting to trace his mouth along Bam's jaw.

"Aguero," Bam whispered, his pulse fluttering under Aguero's lips. Aguero scraped his teeth against the soft underside of his jaw, reveling in the resonance of Bam's voice.

When he reached his other arm up to loop around Bam's back, the ache in his shoulder made itself known again with a sharp, shooting pain. He drew back with a groan, and almost immediately Bam removed himself from Aguero's lap.

"Aguero?" he asked nervously, hands hovering helplessly.

Aguero dragged in a breath that burned in his chest. He watched the fire fish flicker in and out of him before it seemed to realize that there was no wound and dissipated again. "I'm fine," he told Bam, who looked unconvinced.

"That didn't seem fine," Bam grumbled. His expression shifted guiltily after a second. "I should have known that would be too much for you."

"What, now I'm not even allowed to kiss my husband?" Aguero huffed. "That was nothing, Bam. Just some residual pain."

"I don't want you to be in pain at all."

This was an argument Aguero already knew he was going to lose. "Fine. Then can we talk about what to do with FUG?"

"You're supposed to be resting," Bam said firmly. "Isu and I have been taking care of things. Once you're at full strength, we'll talk about what to do."

Aguero narrowed his eyes at him. "Isu will tell me if I ask." He would need the proper incentive, but Aguero could figure something out easily.

"You can't just blackmail Isu," Bam told him, putting a quick end to that thought. "Aguero, you've been working yourself to exhaustion for years, and you just recovered from an injury that should have killed you after using enough shinsu to make yourself sick." He reached over to brush a strand of hair from Aguero's face. "All I'm asking from you is a little more time."

Though it stung, Bam was right. Aguero had been running himself at an unsustainable pace. He doubted he could stand without help, let alone go around his palace checking on the state of things.

"Fine," he allowed, "but at least help me get cleaned up and cut my hair."

Bam's eyes went soft. "Of course." He leaned over to kiss his cheek, then stood. "You should eat, as well."

Though he hadn't noticed before with Bam distracting him, the reminder of food brought his attention to the gnawing in his stomach. "Okay," he agreed.

Bam hurried over to the door, opening it just enough to poke his head out and speak quietly with someone outside. He returned to Aguero's side, sitting on the bed next to him and interlacing their fingers.

"I'm sorry," Bam murmured. "I know you hate this."

"I do," Aguero sighed. "But you're right. I can't do anything about the Great Families or FUG if I work myself to death."

Bam's eyes tightened. "It's not about what you can do," he said sharply, even as he reached up to undo Aguero's braid. "I want you to recover because I care about you. All of us do."

The words settled heavily in Aguero's chest, wrapping around his lungs. It was the truth, he'd known it was for a while now, but there was no greater proof than how his friends stood by him through his hardest times. Still, he couldn't find the words to admit it, going silent as Bam meticulously undid his braid.

As Bam worked, the door opened to let in the servants carrying the bathtub and buckets of water. By then, the rhythm of Bam's fingers combing through his hair had lulled him half to sleep, and he watched lazily through half-lidded eyes as they set up his bath. They finished their work quickly, though Aguero didn't miss the quick, smiling glances they shot in the direction of him and Bam. Several of them looked too young to have worked in the palace before the war, but Aguero was certain that even a week under Bam's rule was better than the disaster that was his own. Aguero wouldn't be surprised if they were relieved to see that Bam was as kind as his reputation promised.

One of them, a young man with a lopsided smile, carried a tray of food over to them.

"I'm glad to see you well, Lord Khun," the man said, setting the tray on the table beside the bed. His gaze flicked toward Bam uncertainly, a sight that nearly made Aguero laugh. In what world was Aguero more approachable than Bam?

He managed to keep himself composed, though, simply nodding to him. "Thank you," he replied. The man's smile widened, and he dipped his head in a quick bow before hurrying back to the main group.

"Thank you," Bam echoed as they left. Once the door shut behind them, he pressed another kiss to Aguero's temple. "Do you want to eat first or bathe first?"

"Bathe," Aguero said without hesitation.

Bam snorted out a little laugh. "Right. Do you want to try walking over there?"

"Alright."

Bam stood, offering Aguero his arm. Aguero took it, clinging onto it as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He nearly stumbled as he tried to put weight on his legs, but Bam tucked an arm around his waist to hold him steady, watching him with worried eyes.

"I'm okay," Aguero promised him as he found his balance. With Bam's help, he managed to make his way over to the bathtub. It was more difficult to figure out how to undress, when he couldn't stay standing on his shaking legs for longer than a few seconds at a time.

Eventually, they settled for Aguero sitting on a chair to take off his bedclothes, before Bam picked him up and lowered him carefully into the water. He groaned as the water enveloped him, heat seeping into him and soothing his aches. Once he was comfortable, he glanced over at Bam.

"You got your clothes wet," he huffed, reaching out to tug at Bam's soaked sleeve.

"I don't mind," Bam replied, kneeling beside the tub. He handed Aguero the soap to clean himself with, before starting on Aguero's hair.

Silence settled over them like a blanket, comfortable and warming. Aguero scrubbed at his skin until the feeling of a week's fever-sweat and grime left him, as Bam combed through his hair far more gently. Once Aguero was done, he let his eyes fall shut, settling deeper into the water with a sigh.

Eventually, Bam spoke, massaging at Aguero's scalp. "I talked to Isu earlier. Based on the current count, we'll have plenty of food for everyone this winter, especially since we aren't supporting a hundred extra mouths at the palace this year."

"Good," Aguero hummed, recognizing the compromise for what it was. Bam wouldn't let him worry about the problems still ahead of them, but he wouldn't make Aguero stay in the dark about the state of their kingdom.

"Isu said it was all because of you," Bam told him. "That you pulled all the strings you could to make sure everyone was taken care of all these years."

Aguero's mouth twisted. It wasn't enough. He could still remember the look in Gyetang's eyes when the bird man came to his room in the middle of the night, admitting to his worry about a sickness that wouldn't leave him and Michael's gaze following him whenever they passed each other. There hadn't been enough evidence to get rid of Michael, but Aguero should have tried harder, should have found a way to remove him from the picture regardless. And though— as far as he knew— none of the rest of his household had been hurt by his suitors, the fear had seeped through the halls of the palace regardless. He'd failed Bam again, not even able to keep their people safe.

"You're thinking too much again," Bam said lightly, combing through Aguero's hair with his fingers. "Talk to me."

Admitting weakness wasn't a skill that Aguero was very practiced in, especially after not knowing real peace for almost twenty years, but this was Bam.

Except... it was Bam. Aguero had always done his best not to burden him, as his friend or his partner, while paving the way for whatever greatness he knew Bam was destined for. While Aguero didn't know what Bam had been through in the nine years they were separated, it couldn't have been easy, and Bam hadn't even gotten time to enjoy being home before he was dragged into Aguero's mess.

On the other hand, Bam would find out about Aguero's failures eventually. Better now, from him.

"I should have done more," he admitted.

"What do you mean?"

Aguero kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see whatever expression Bam was making. "I couldn't keep our household safe, Bam. They were terrified."

"Aguero—"

"Maybe I could have have kept more of the attention on me," Aguero said desperately. "I could have made sure they never looked at anyone else."

Bam made a frustrated sound somewhere deep in his chest. "And what do you think would have happened to you then?"

Aguero's breath stuttered at the thought, the memories of bruises and greedy gazes filling his mind.

Bam's fingers stilled. "Aguero, did they..."

"What?" Aguero opened his eyes, catching Bam's wide, nervous gaze with his own. "Oh." He reached up to wrap his hand around Bam's wrist. "No, they didn't."

Bam didn't look convinced.

Aguero squeezed his wrist. "I promise, Bam."

"Okay." Bam leaned over to press their foreheads together. "I trust you." He pulled away, running a hand over his cheek. "Are you ready to get out?"

"Yeah." Aguero reached his arms out, relieved to realize that the warmth of the bath had loosened his muscles enough for the motion not to hurt.

Bam smiled at him, taking the hint and lifting him out of the tub. He grabbed a large cloth from nearby, supporting Aguero as he dried himself off. Rather than fully dress, Aguero snagged a bathrobe from nearby and slipped it on. Bam helped him stagger over to the small table by the window and settled him in one of the seats, then hurried to fetch the tray of food. Aguero felt a little bad watching Bam wait hand and foot on him, but seeing the way it eased the worry from his face helped soften that feeling.

"Thanks," Aguero murmured, catching one of Bam's hands and pressing a kiss to it as Bam sat down.

Bam lit up, turning his hand so he could cup Aguero's face. "Anything for you."

Aguero's cheeks flushed and he batted Bam's hand away playfully. "Have you eaten?"

"Not yet," Bam admitted. "But there's enough for both of us."

"Good." Aguero picked a few of his favorite foods from the tray. After taking so long bathing, he was beginning to feel ravenous, and it was clear Bam felt the same when he tucked into his own food with vigor.

The two of them ate quickly, managing to finish the entire tray. Between the amount of food and the warm sun streaming through the window, Aguero was beginning to feel drowsy again. Bam, however, still seemed to have energy, springing up from his seat to stack their dishes back on the tray. Once he was done, he beamed at Aguero again.

"Do you still want me to cut your hair?" he asked sweetly.

When Aguero nodded, Bam offered him a hand up. This time, Aguero could walk a little more steadily, though he still had to rely on Bam's arm around his waist. Bam sat him down in front of the mirror, picking up a comb. He caught Aguero's gaze in the mirror, smiling softly, and Aguero was startled to find tears burning in his eyes.

Thankfully, Bam didn't draw attention to his tears, instead beginning to comb his hair. Just as Aguero remembered, he was gentle and thorough, even with Aguero's long hair.

"Do you want it the same length it used to be?" Bam's hand stroked over Aguero's jaw, and Aguero tilted his head into his touch.

"Mhm," Aguero hummed, letting his eyes fall shut. It was easy to let himself drift as Bam worked, especially as Bam paused every few moments to press a kiss to Aguero's forehead or temple. It was as though he could feel the weight of the past twenty years drop away along with the weight of his hair.

"All done," Bam finally told him, brushing his hand through Aguero's hair one more time. "What do you think?"

Aguero opened his eyes, his breath catching in his throat. "Bam..."

Bam smiled nervously. "Is it okay?"

"It's perfect," Aguero assured him. Even more than when Endorsi had helped him, he felt like himself again, seeing his own sharp eyes looking back at him through the frame of his newly short hair.

He tilted his head back to look at Bam, reaching up to tug him down for a kiss. Bam pulled away before he could deepen the kiss, an indulgent look on his face.

"How are you feeling?" Bam asked him. "Do you think you're up for seeing everyone?"

"Who's included in everyone?" Aguero asked with a lazy smile.

Bam's expression shifted to something sheepish. "We might have gotten more guests while you were out. I think some of the people you asked for help were a bit delayed."

Aguero's eyes narrowed teasingly. "Like who?"

"Well, Lero Ro and Quant got here a few days ago," Bam replied, clearly stalling.

"And..?"

"And Urek Mazino might have arrived today."

"What?" Aguero exclaimed, suddenly alert. "I didn't invite him. It was already a mess, why would I ask a loose cannon like him to come here?"

Bam laughed. "He's really not that bad."

"Still, you have to admit he probably would have made things worse."

"You're right," Bam agreed. "He's not exactly the most predictable. I think he's here because he heard I came back, but he did ask after you."

Aguero sighed. Even with the surprise that was Urek Mazino's arrival, he was just about ready to fall back to sleep. Still, it wasn't fair to Bam to expect him to be able to keep running things on his own for so long.

He supported himself on the chair to stand, but Bam swept in to support him before he could so much as wobble. Aguero gave him a quick kiss as thanks.

"I guess we shouldn't keep our guests waiting," Aguero said.

Bam's eyebrows pinched. "They can wait, if you're not feeling up for it. Isu and the rest have been entertaining them just fine."

"And what about you?"

"I'm not going to leave you alone," Bam said firmly.

Aguero's lips curled upward. "So if I said I wanted to take a nap with my husband and leave Isu to fend for himself?"

"Then that's what we'll do," Bam replied. And really, Aguero couldn't ask for more.

Notes:

thank you all so much for following along with this fic! this chapter was admittedly difficult for me to write bc i didn't actually have a plan for what i wanted to include after the suitors were taken care of, other than just vague khunbam fluff, so i just went with where my whims took me lol

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