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Jorge Takes Care of The Gods; That's It, That's The Story (ft. EPIC Cast & HERMESSSSSSS) [Cursing Edition] by Orange_Fox_With_Leaves
Fandoms: EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums)
28 Oct 2024
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Summary
Disclaimer: EPIC: The Musical belongs to the amazing and talented Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Winion Entertainment. Sorry folks, I am not that talented to be able to produce a wonderful musical like that!
In which I write a whole au for EPIC: The Musical instead of doing my homework because I mother-ducking can =D
Ok so here:
Basically, one day Jorge & all of the EPIC cast gets transported into Mount Olympus, where they’re forced to take care of the gods. The EPIC cast finally meets Hermes, while Jay & Troy are quite literally running in the opposite direction. Aphrodite and Janani Maya are absolute girlbosses, Earle Graham Jr. and Ares are just 😐, Brandon McInnis and Apollo are just like the sunny bois over there (slay btw), Mike Rivera and Hephaestus being old men building stuff and talking about Jay, Poesy and Hera dancing it up, Poseidon asking Steven multiple questions on why Jay looks so much like Odysseus, Teagan and Athena BEING THE TOP TIER GIRLBOSSES, Aeolus just laughing over how he has a female version of him, and then Luke and Zeus are just 🧍… -
Bookmark Notes:
THE MOST FUCKING HILARIOUS EPIC THE MUSICAL FANFIC TO EVER EXIST
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Bookmark Notes:
Ch1
“Well you kinda said, and I quote, ‘If you little fuckers don’t show up, I’m going to do what I did to Athena at the end of the Wisdom Saga,” Apollo muttered in the background.
“Shut the fuck up Apollo, this is why you were Level 1,” Aphrodite hissed at the usually sunny boy who looked a little too gay today. “At least you had a part,” Dionysus grumbled.
“Alright then background characters, if you could please shut the actual fucking Hades up, here’s why I called you little cunts here today.” Zeus snapped his fingers, and suddenly a giant screen appeared out of nowhere like my acne. “It has come to my attention that this…musical has spawned in the wasteland of insignificant pests called America. It is called EPIC: The Musical, it is about the Odys-”
“ODYSSEUS!?” A little bitch that likes swimming with sharks and shit screamed like a teenage girl hearing her ex’s name. “I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. WHERE IS THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE!?”
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“This musical is about the Odyssey - shut the fuck up Pussy - and for some reason, they have decided to cast this handso- I mean unflattering mortal man to voice me of all people. Like, can you believe it?”“That’s not what you say when you sing in the shower at 2 fucking am,” a wild peahen said in the corner, which shouldn’t be possible, since last I checked, peahens couldn’t talk.
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“Anyway, they casted some puny mortal man as me, so I have decided we must punish them.”“Shall we curse them to lose their entire reputation and make horrible movies instead of the awesome ones they used to make, like we did when Disney made Hercules?” Apollo offered.
“Nope. I vote we give the creator of this musical, someone those mortals call ‘Mr. Jalapeno’ for some strange reason, a punishment worthy of the gods.”
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“Yes yes, whatever,” said Zeus, “The point is, Hermes ended up being babysat by those mortals. What if, instead of the gods going to the mortals, the mortals come to us.”