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now I'm staring at the stars (wonderin' where you are)

Summary:

He would come back. He always did, always did his best to come back to Earth and to her. But he was only Superman, and even Superman could be hurt or killed.
“Oh, Clark, where are you?” Lois asked the sky, but received no answer.

Everywhere Clark turned, there were stars, stretching in every direction. It was all that he could see. Just an endless sea of lights shining in the darkness.

Or: While Clark is stuck in space, Lois tries to hold everything together back on Earth.

 

For Superfamily Week Day 2: Across Space or Time

Notes:

I've had this idea of Clark and Lois looking at the stars and thinking about each other while Clark is on one of his space rescues for a while, and I'm glad that this week gave me an opportunity to finally write it up!

Title is from Staring At The Stars by Dan Marfisi and Glenn Jordan - yes, it's the X Files lost media song, but it really fits Clois!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Lois rested her chin on her knees and looked up at the handful of stars that managed to beat the light pollution to shine down on Metropolis. Somewhere out there in that inky vastness, Clark was looking back at her.

She hoped he was, at least.

It had been so long, since Clark had to leave to help out with repelling a potential invasion a few systems over. It should have just been a couple days, he’d said, to work out the situation. He’d take her out to dinner at their favorite restaurant and then they’d have a night in and enjoy having some time just to themselves. It was the perfect plan, so of course it didn’t happen.

Clark was supposed to have come back to Earth a week ago today, and there was still no sign of him. No message, no catastrophe somewhere in the galaxy that the Justice League had been called out to fight. Absolutely no word on whether he was alive or dead and when or if he was ever coming back.

He would come back. He always did, always did his best to come back to Earth and to her. But he was only Superman, and even Superman could be hurt or killed.

“Oh, Clark, where are you?” Lois asked the sky, but received no answer.

---

Everywhere Clark turned, there were stars, stretching in every direction. It was all that he could see. Just an endless sea of lights shining in the darkness. Usually, Clark would take time to appreciate the view.

That was not an option now. He was lost, and he had been lost for the last week and a half. He had accomplished what the Vak had needed to repel their invaders quite quickly, and guaranteed that the invading army wasn’t going to head Earth’s way, before getting quite literally sideswiped by a sun-eater and getting pulled partway across the galaxy helping with that. The battle had been dizzying and disorienting and he had no idea where he was.

And now he had no transportation and navigation other than his own powers and his brain to get home. It was a daunting task, but Clark had to succeed. There was no other option. He’d make his way back home, back to Lois and their family. He always did.

I’m coming back to you, Lois, he vowed. I promise.

---

Lois had told Perry that Clark was in Smallville, helping his parents look after Kon post-surgery. It was a good excuse. It gave some leeway in case Clark made it back a little early or a little late, and it was simple to shut down most questions. It held up less well, though, now that Clark was more than a week overdue.

“What’s going on, Lois? How’s Clark doing?” Perry asked, concern in his eyes. “It’s been a while since he was supposed to be back.”

It was fortunate she had an excuse ready for this situation. “There were some complications with Conner’s recovery. He should be back soon.”

“Well. Alright then. I hope Conner is doing better soon.” Perry said.

“Thanks for understanding, Perry, we both appreciate it.”

“No problem, Lois. I just hope Clark is back soon, we need him here.”

“Yes. We really do.” Lois agreed, leaving Perry’s office to go back to her own desk. But first, she paused at Clark’s desk. It looked as though he’d stepped away for a phone call or to chase a lead and would be back any second. There was a stack of papers next to his computer, and photos of their family scattered across his desk – him and his parents at his high school graduation, Kon laughing while squirming away from Krypto licking his face, Natasha giving John Henry bunny ears while posing for a picture, Kara and Clark making silly faces at the camera.

She picked up the picture of them at her and Clark’s wedding and gently ran a finger over his smiling face. “I really do need you here, Clark.”

---

The oddest thing about being in space, in Clark’s opinion, was the sound. Or rather, it was the lack of sound. Normally, he could hear practically everything, and it was overwhelming. He’d learned how to filter it out into what he needed to hear, what was helpful to hear, and what was simply background noise. But that sound was still there, in the back of his awareness, inescapable.

Sound didn’t travel in a vacuum. There was no experience quite like the absolute silence of space. He couldn’t hear the sound of his cape fluttering, or the sounds made by his movements through space, because there was no sound for his ears to pick up. The only thing he could hear was the whoosh of his own heartbeat.

Sometimes, he went up above Earth’s atmosphere for the calmness of the sensation. But it was another thing entirely to be completely cut off from it for so long without a choice.

He really missed listening to Lois’s heartbeat right now; its steady beat while she was asleep, how it beat faster when she was hot on the trail of a story, the way that it told him that she was out there, living life loudly. It was his favorite sound in the world.

He hadn’t heard it in four weeks. Or at least, he thought it had been four weeks. There was no day and night, no one to talk to, no watch to keep the time. He could only guess how long he’d been travelling through the abyss of space. Maybe it was four days. Maybe it was four months. Speculating about how much time had passed didn’t help get him home or make him feel better.

The tears falling from his eyes instantly boiled in the vacuum of space, which didn’t also help.

But he’d be home soon. He had to be. Surely, he was getting closer, if not to Earth, to some inhabited planet where he could get his bearings and figure out where in the universe he was.

---

Lois found John Henry and Natasha caught in their own worry spiral at the Steelworks. John Henry almost didn’t notice her making her way in until she was at his desk, and jumped slightly when he saw her. Natasha just waived tiredly.

“Lois! Hi. How are you?”

Lois looked at him ruefully. “Not great. You?”

Natasha groaned. “It’s going just great.”

“Not doing so good either.” John Henry sighed. “I wish I could pick up some kind of signal or something to know that he’s still okay and I could have any kind of news for you. I’m sorry, Lois.”

“There should be some way to at least figure out if he’s sending something back to us, but nothing we can think of is working.” Natasha grumbled.

“Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing either of us can do but hope, but I appreciate everything you two have been doing to find him. The situation isn’t great, but Clark’s made it through worse.”

“Yeah. He has.” John Henry squeezed her shoulder in reassurance.

Natasha gave a weak smile. “Thanks. We won’t stop working until he’s home.”

“And if he isn’t back soon, I’ll go out and look for him myself.” John Henry reassured her.

They talked for a little longer, catching up on things not related to searching for Clark that had happened to all of them in the last few days before Lois had to head back to the Planet. She wished them well and reminded them to not get too wrapped up in what they were doing.

On her way out, she ran into Kara. Lois had never seen Kara look as miserable and defeated as she did in that moment.

“Oh, hi Lois. I was just going to tell Nat that I hadn’t seen any sign of Kal in the space around Earth and this didn’t pick up any radio signals from him either.” She listlessly waved some kind of metal contraption that Natasha must have made at Lois.

“Kara, are you doing okay? Have you rested lately?” Lois asked carefully.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I have to be fine to find Kal.”

“It’s okay to not be fine in this situation, you know.” Lois told her.

“I keep thinking that I should have been the one that went to help the Vak. Kal’s my baby cousin, I should be the one protecting him and I keep losing him.”

“Oh, Kara. It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault. Helping people is just who Clark is.”

“Yeah. I know. It’s just hard to know that he’s out there somewhere and there’s nothing I can do to help.”

Lois put her arms around Kara and they leaned on each other for a moment, gathering strength.

---

At long last, he’d stumbled upon a passing spaceship and discovered he was roughly going in the right direction. If he’d continued on his current trajectory, he would have overshot Earth’s solar system but would have stumbled upon an inhabited planet soon enough where he could have adjusted course, but it would have taken him three more weeks to make his way back. He was lucky to encounter that shuttle when he did, and fortunate that they were friendly and glad to give Superman directions.

It wouldn’t be long until he was home. Only a week more, if that. He could almost feel how close he was. In fact, maybe he did; he was on a direct path back to the Sun now and the faint energy he was getting from it was increasing every second.

And every second was a second closer to home, to Lois and Ma and Pa and Kon and Kara and John Henry and Natasha. He could hardly wait to see them again.

---

Visiting Martha and Jonathan and Kon in Smallville didn’t exactly take her mind off Clark still having not made his way back home, but it did ease the knot of worry in her chest a little bit. It was hard to be so worried while spending time with people who also loved Clark. Like every dinner they’d had since Clark left for space, they didn’t avoid the topic of Clark’s continued absence, but they didn’t focus on it either. It was a nice break from the balancing act that Lois was doing of not worrying to everyone not in the know about Clark and worrying constantly on her own.

They talked about Lois’s latest stories at the Planet, Kon’s recent adventures with his friends, how the farm was doing, and funny stories they had about Clark. Lois was the most at ease she’d been since Clark kissed her goodbye swiftly before heading to space.

After dinner, Lois felt obligated to help the Kents with clean up. Martha didn’t tolerate it.

“I can wash the dishes.” Lois offered.

“Nonsense. You’re here to visit, not do chores, Lois.” Martha said firmly.

“But I can help!” Lois protested.

Martha looked at her gently, but Lois felt like she was peering into her soul. “Lois, I know you’ve been throwing yourself into every kind of work you can to distract yourself, but that’s not healthy. Rest. I know you’ve been telling the rest of us to do that.”

There was no winning here. Lois conceded her defeat. “Fine. I think I’ll go look at the sunset from the porch, then.”

“That sounds like a great idea. You can join Jonathan out there, Kon will help with dishes.” Martha agreed peaceably.

As she expected, she found Jonathan sitting on the porch, thoughtfully watching the sunset. He greeted her with a nod as she settled into the chair next to him.

The sun painted the sky in brilliant pinks and oranges, catching on the scattered clouds dotting across the sky.

“Every sunset is a gift.” Jonathan spoke up suddenly. “A reminder to stop and cherish the beauty of the world around us.”

“I don’t often get an opportunity to appreciate the sunset unless I’m visiting out here.” Lois admitted. “Or unless Clark whisks me off somewhere.”

Jonathan caught her voice wavering on Clark’s name and reached over to squeeze her hand. “Our boy’s good at that, showing people the good parts of this world.”

Lois squeezed back. “He is.”

They sat in silence as the sun sank below the horizon, taking comfort in each other’s presence. Kon and Martha joined them on the porch after they finished with the dishes.

Eventually, as the last glimmer of light faded from view, Jonathan heaved himself out of the porch chair. “Ready to head inside?”

“I think I’m going to go for a walk. Enjoy the night air.” Lois said.

“You are? Mind having some company?” Kon asked. Krypto peeked out from behind his legs.

“Not at all, Kon, you’re welcome to come along.”

“Sweet!” Kon said, hands in his pockets. Krypto trotted cheerfully after him, gently nosing at Lois’s hands for pets.

They set out on a loop around the fields closest to the farmhouse – no need to go the full distance this late at night. Kon smacked the flashlight a couple times to jiggle it on. “Ha! There we go!”

“You really need to replace those batteries.” Lois observed.

Kon shrugged. “It’ll hold up a little longer.”

Krypto bounded off into the twilight and reemerged with a long metal pipe. He dropped it with a clang in front of Kon, tail wagging wildly.

“Where’d you even find this? Alright, you mutt, I’ll throw it for you,” Kon muttered, hefting it with one hand and tossing the pipe high into the air. Krypto soared off after it. “Silly dog.”

“I remember what he was like when Clark and I first got him. He’s mellowed out quite a bit since then.”

“He’s a good boy.” Kon agreed, deftly catching the pipe Krypto dropped on him. “Go long!”

Lois chuckled as Krypto zipped off into the distance.

“So, how are things?” Kon asked.

“You know, I think I’ve been asked that a bit too much lately.” Lois mused. “It’s old hat.”

Kon looked at her dubiously out of the corner of his eye.

“But, I don’t think I’ve heard about how you’re doing with this whole situation.” Lois said.                                                                                                                                  

“Ah, well, I’m fine, really.” He stammered, unprepared for the question to be turned back against him.

“I know you don’t believe me when I say that so I’m not going to pretend I believe you either.” Lois said, sharply but not unkindly.

Kon let out a long breath. “There really is no way to hide anything from you, is there.”

“No, not really.” Lois admitted, only slightly smug.

Kon rolled his eyes fondly. “Well, it’s not been a walk in the park with Kal gone.”

“It hasn’t.” Lois agreed.

“It’s really hard, not knowing where he is or what’s going on with him. I keep worrying that Kal needs help and we’ll never know.”

“It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest part of all of this, I think.” Lois said.

“Yeah, that would be the hardest part for you.” Kon teased. Lois swatted him on the shoulder lightly.

“Don’t deflect.”

“Alright, alright.” Kon raised his hands in mock defense. “I just can’t stop thinking about that time Kal got kidnapped by that stupid tribunal and it makes me worry that maybe they got their hands on him again.”

Lois shivered, remembering those awful days of waiting for news, any kind of news, about how Clark was doing wherever he’d been taken to. This wasn’t as dire as that was – Clark had gone willingly instead of being kidnapped, for one thing – but Kon was right, there were some similarities to this situation.

“And you’re worrying because you’re not out there with him.” Lois guessed.

“Yeah.” Kon admitted. “I feel really helpless. Kara and I have gone up there so many times to try to find him but he’s just too far away.”

Lois squeezed his shoulder. “I appreciate it, but I’ll tell you what I’ve told Kara: don’t run yourself ragged trying to find Clark. Helping people is just a part of who he is, you couldn’t have prevented this from happening. All we can do is hope that he’ll make his way home.”

“He will.” Kon said. “He always does.”

A comfortable silence settled between them for the rest of the walk. Krypto bounded back with the pipe but was content to merely trot at their heels instead of demanding another game of fetch.

When they finished their loop around the farm, night had fully settled, and the Milky Way could be seen stretched across the sky. It always threw Lois for a loop when she was out here, to see that many stars in the sky.

“Ready for me to fly you home?” Kon asked.

“Not quite yet. I think I’m going to enjoy the stars some before heading back.”

“Alright. I’ll leave you to that then. Call when you’re ready to go.” Kon gave her arm one last squeeze before heading inside.

Usually, when she was out at the Kent farm and looking at the stars, Clark flew her to the roof of the barn where he’d gone to stare at the stars and wonder about where he came from as a kid. There wasn’t really a way to make her way up there on her own short of asking Kon to fly her up there, but she only wanted Clark to do that for her.

Standing between the farmhouse and the barn was close to it, though – she swore she could almost see the silhouette of teenage Clark on the roof, looking up at the stars and wondering about where he came from.

She looked up at that same sky full of stars now and wished fiercely that Clark was almost home. There was no question in her mind that he was out there right now, making his way home as fast as he could.

---

The Sun had been growing bigger and bigger in Clark’s vision for a while now, and at last he could see the blue dot that was Earth in orbit around it. Home was within sight for the first time in who knew how long.

Clark put on a final burst of speed. He was so close to home and didn’t want to be away a second longer.

---

Kon had flown Lois back home last night at her request, and she’d settled back into their apartment, where she could see the evidence of their life together all around her. It was simultaneously comforting and painful. It reminded her that their life together was real, but it also reminded her that Clark was no longer there to be a part of it; his belongings were frozen in time and unchanged.

Clark had been rereading Return of the King before he left, and its well-worn spine and the messily decorated bookmark from Sam that Clark had used to mark his place taunted her from the nightstand. She rolled away from it in bed and closed her eyes, imagining that Clark would dart through the window like he always did after finishing his Superman rounds and he’d climb into bed with her, still warm from the friction of flight.

It was a nice dream, and lulled her to sleep.

---

Clark didn’t think he’d ever seen anything as beautiful the sight of Earth filling his vision after so long away. And as he broke the atmosphere, the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard filled his ears again. Based on her heartrate, Lois was asleep in their apartment. He tuned his hearing towards the rest of his family and checked on them as well. Ma and Pa were up for the day in Smallville, about to start the morning’s chores. Kon was cursing under his breath as Krypto almost tripped him down the stairs in excitement about being fed. Kara was still asleep in her own apartment. John Henry was working on something – likely a Steel suit – while Natasha slept in.

They were okay. All was well.

He couldn’t wait to see them all again.

---

Lois woke up to a tapping sound on their bedroom window and groaned. It was the weekend, couldn’t whatever bird was pecking at the window let her sleep and wallow in peace? Miffed, she crawled out of bed and flung the curtains open, ready to glare at whatever woke her up so early.

On the other side of the window, Clark grinned back at her.

“Clark!” Lois threw open the window and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him through the window and into their home. She cradled him as close to her as possible, not wanting to spend a single moment more apart. Clark was evidently feeling just as clingy and willing to hold her close. He buried his face in her hair and clung to her desperately. Eventually, she pulled back enough to get a good look at him.

Clark’s hair was so windswept it looked like he’d flown through a tornado. Debris was scattered through his hair – space dust he’d accumulated on his journey and brought back with him. Gently, she plucked a large chunk out of his hair.

“Lois,” he breathed, looking at her as though he wasn’t quite sure this was real. Lois could relate.

“Hey there, bluebird.” She ran a hand through his hair and down to his face. He leaned into it and brought his own hand up to grasp hers at the wrist, placing a kiss on her palm. She melted and drew him in for a long, luxurious kiss. They kissed as though they were trying to merge and become one being, as though they never wanted to be apart again.

Finally, they broke apart for air.

“I missed you so much,” she murmured against his lips.

“I missed you too. You were all I could think about when I was trying to find my way home. You and our family here on Earth.”

“Oh, Clark.”

He beamed at her, but his smile was eclipsed by a jaw-cracking yawn. On closer inspection, it was clear just how hard he’d been working to get back home. He looked absolutely exhausted. Lois wanted to bundle him into bed for a week.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He squinted. “Right before I left, I think. When was that?”

“About three and a half weeks ago.”

“Three and a half weeks?! I was in space that long?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry I took so long getting back.” Clark apologized.

“Hey. It’s not your fault. Things happened. You’re home now. That’s all that matters.”

Clark tipped their foreheads together and they swayed slightly in each other’s arms. She could feel him resisting the urge to nod off right then and there, now that he knew that he was safe and home in her arms. She ran a hand soothingly up and down his back, under the cape.

“I’ll let everyone know you’re back and we’ll get you cleaned up, then we’ll take a nap until a more reasonable time. Is that good?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Clark smiled sleepily at her.

Lois smiled back. Finally, all was well.

Notes:

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Comments welcome. You can find me on Tumblr at dio-icarticaae

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