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It was a cool afternoon in Korea and Lune was sitting on his bedroom floor, phone held in his hand. The tour was nearly over and Lune hadn't missed a phone call yet. He wasn't about to start now. He looked forward to hearing from his groupmates, exhausted but wired post-concert. He loved hearing about their performance, how the fans adored Junseo's singing and Heechan's solo stage.
They had come a long way and Lune was proud of them.
Of course, he wished he was there. He wanted to perform, to meet their fans, but he knew he couldn't. Not now. Not yet.
The decision to step aside and take care of himself wasn't an easy one. They had just dropped a new album and their world tour. In a way, it felt like he had failed, like he'd let down their fans. But Changmin talked him out of the guilt trip.
"You have to take care of yourself," he had said. "The fans will understand. Your health matters more."
As much as he missed being on stage, being with his group (his friends), Lune could already feel himself coming back to normal. The pit of anxiety in his gut didn't hurt as much as it used to. He didn't dread waking up every morning. It was slow work, but it was working. Some life started to seep back into him - the excitement and joy of being an idol.
Now, weeks after his hiatus announcement, Lune knew he made the right choice. Touring was fun, but the thought of back to back stages, of late nights and early mornings with hardly a break, of flying across countries and oceans, made him nervous. He knew he didn't have the energy for that. Better to stay home and take care of himself - for next time.
As soon as DKB boarded a plane for their tour, Lune promised himself that he would keep up with everything. He stalked on social media, watched fancams, and answered the phone every night they called him. Even if he wasn't there physically, he could be there in spirit.
Lune checked the time on his phone. The concert should be over soon, even with the extra time for snapshots.
As if summoned, his phone lit up, Junseo's face taking up the screen.
"Hi," Lune answered the call softly.
"Hi," Junseo grinned.
"Is that Lune?!" Heechan's voice was shrill through the phone. "Let me talk to him!"
"Last time you hogged the phone for hours!" Yuku protested.
There was a scuffle as the phone was passed around and Lune chuckled. He could barely make out hands and faces, the ceiling and walls. The calls had been like this all tour and Lune missed them like a limb.
Finally, Junseo wrestled his phone free and, with a triumphant shout, escaped the others. Lune could see the hotel room with the other members still clambering over each other before a door was closed, lock clicking in place.
"The bathroom, really?"
"It's the only safe place for now," Junseo said, sitting on the tile floor. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "We'll be home soon."
"I know," Lune whispered. "I miss you."
"We miss you too," Junseo said. "It hasn't been the same without you. The fans miss you a lot. I think your parts in the videos get more cheers than the rest of us."
Lune doubted that, but the sentiment was nice.
"I miss you the most though," Lune said. "I - I wanted to be with you for your solo stage."
Junseo was quiet on the other end and Lune held his breath. This was uncharted territory for them. They'd been casually flirting for a while now, nothing that couldn't be written off as fanservice, but Lune knew his feelings ran deeper - had run deeper since "Love" era. They never talked about it, never tried to make it anything more.
But now Lune and Junseo were half a world apart. Junseo was performing, shining like a beacon on stage, singing love songs, and Lune wasn't there.
He'd imagined, while they were preparing for the tour, of confessing his feelings. It would be easier in a different country, high on the thrill of a good performance. They'd go back to the hotel together, Lune would make some excuse to talk to Junseo alone, and then whatever happened after that...
This though, this veiled confession over face time, with Junseo on a hotel bathroom floor and Lune in his childhood bedroom, this was the last way he wanted to admit his feelings.
"The song is for you, you know," Junseo finally spoke, his voice hushed. "Not all the stuff about losing you, obviously, but knowing that I found love when I found you... that's - that's true."
"But we never kissed," Lune pointed out.
Junseo smiled softly. "Not yet. But once I'm back, you better prepare yourself."
"I can't wait."