Work Text:
somewhere in LA
Michelle Visage was sitting in her LA house, enjoying her breakfast. It was a lovely morning, of yet another day of filming Drag Race. Every day, before driving to the set, Michelle would sit down in front of the window to the street, and enjoy her vegan meal. Slowly sipping oat milk latte, thinking about the upcoming challenges of the day. They were halfway done with the season, after the Snatch Game, which Michelle saw as the point of division, between the winners, and the girls who still needed to cook, before going for the crown. Today, they were supposed to shoot the acting challenge, which Michelle was a bit worried about, because they quickly changed the Broadway director, to some Quibi person, because the other producers, wanted to rig one of the more promising girls, up to fail. Michelle was a bit sad about it, but Ru already made up her mind, and that meant it was final. But at least she got to wear a really nice dress for today!
Michelle's contemplation was interrupted by the bell at the door. Had she lost the sense of time? Was it someone's DoorDash? She went for the door, and opened them in her morning robe. After she opened the doors, she was a bit flabbergasted, as a really handsome young man, made a stylish turn, and took his designer shades, to reveal his angelic face. He seemed Indian to Michelle, which intrigued her even more.
- Well, hello gorgeous! Is there anything I can help you with?
- Rest! Step inside, please - the voice of the man boomed in Michelle's head, as she went inside.
As Michelle, now completely horrified, and unable to say a word, was walking right onto the wall of her, as of today, unsafe haven, the young man followed, closing the door.
- Is your name Michelle Lynn Shupack? Nod your head, yes or no.
Michelle confirmed.
- Wonderful, please, pardon my intrusion, madame, I had to make sure I found you, and not someone else. It is very easy to mistake one person for another in this place, where dreams are allegedly made.
Michelle has so many questions, but couldn't say anything.
- Ah, again, I'm excited, and by that, a bit unprepared. You will know me as Rashid. That is not my real name, but it will have to suffice. I don't want to hurt you, rob you, and humiliate you, in any way you are thinking of. Well, maybe rob you of your role, as I very simply, wish to take your place on the show you've been working on. You see, I feel that I will do wonderfully on today's episode. Now, rest.
And Michelle turned off.
not long after, at the World of Wonders studio
Armand walked into the WOW studio with confidence. It fooled some of the PA's, some of them had to take some rest. After he managed to get deeper into the studio, he stopped one of the PA's, who looked at him with the level of disrespect only Santiago had in him, and, although with difficulties, said.
- Miss Visage felt unwell. She...
- Ok, give me a second, I have to buzz it in.
Armand froze in place, with the cold only possible to feel in the depths of hell, which he channeled onto the PA's radio, to destroy it.
- What the fuck?!
Armand brought forth his old, ancient at this point, directorial energy, and proceeded with the PA.
- When your maître speaks, you listen. Understood?
- Yes, maître, forgive me!
- As I was saying. Madam Visage felt unwell, so she asked me to take her place for today's filming.
- Understood, maître!
- Good. Now, don't try to ruin the surprise for others, and show me where can I find anything in this sad excuse for a théâtre.
After Armand made rounds all over the studio, making sure that he knows where everyone is, and, also making sure that his, now faithful PA, would keep his maître updated about anything, Armand moved to the challenge stage, where the queens were rehearsing for their acting challenge.
When he arrived, he found his company. The TOP6 of the season, memorizing their lines, fighting with the script that had no jokes, and visibly praying inside to not be eliminated when everything goes down. Armand felt sorry for them, while at the same time, nostalgia to the nights of Paris hit him, like a velvet glove, and he felt alive again, he felt like maître again. And so, he went to introduce himself.
The Quibi director, pathetic, himself not knowing why he's here. Queen 1, has potential, she came out of a Snatch Game win, but that's the one they want to throw. Queen 2 is experienced, she will take directions well, but won't win, due to being older. Queen 3 is the drama, that will be cut the next episode, and she's ready to explode today. Queen 4, huh, interesting, is sleeping with the producer. Queen 5 is the designated winner. And then Queen 6, the young hopeful that will be able to taste the fame. Armand scanned the minds of everyone while introducing himself. They were none the wiser about the nature of his arrival. Too panicked about the situation, which only made maître more fiery. The show was about to start!
During the next hour, which was designated by the production for the rehearsal, Armand took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. The filming crew got good takes of him screaming at the queens, at the incompetent director, and at the script. One of his initial requests, was a pen, which then got specified to be red, after the initial one ended up piercing one of the walls, to the surprise of no one, as Hollywood people were like that. But as more time passed, and the script got more and more red, ultimately ending up completely rewritten, but honestly, much better, the more Armand grew furious. He initially started being catty with Queen 3 and 4, just to get good material, but aside from Queen 2, none of the cast could act. The whole rehearsal ended up with Queen 6 almost leaving, Queen 1 crying in the corner, and Queen 3 and 4 fighting on-set. Only 2 and 5 remained cool.
In the meantime, the Quibi director was dutifully observing Armand, who, very quickly, got everyone to call him maître. Armand could feel the director craving Armand's talent, which only repulsed him to the puny man more. This whole day, was turning more and more boring, and that was infuriating Armand to no end, as he expected his plan to go smooth. But alas, he ended up soothing his nerves, when he left the director in a prop box, no longer alive...
As the filming was coming to an end, Armand made his way to the main stage, where everything was supposed to end.
As he sat down, behind the judge's table, TS Madison and some Z-list celebrity joined him, visibly surprised, but remaining quiet. Armand read from their minds that they were waiting for RuPaul, and in that moment, Armand felt that something may go right for him. After all, RuPaul was the leader of this coven, and knew how to keep it going. RuPaul would for sure make it worth it.
The light dimmed out, the sound crew called for a sound check, and the filming started. Armand saw the magic, and it was glorious. RuPaul came out on the stage, right as the music hit the beat, and strutted the runway, like a goddess. But then she stopped, when she noticed Armand.
- Uhm, excuse me, I think you've taken up Michelle's seat [Why is there a twink in Michelle's place, and why wasn't I told about that?!]
Armand looked at TS Madison, looked in the other direction, not believing for a moment that he could be directly addressed by the RuPaul.
- Me? Uh, no, I haven't. I'm filling in for Michelle today.
RuPaul laughed, but nerves could be heard.
- Oh you silly you, if that's the case, then let it be! [I will have the producer's ass for this!]
Ru hit the pose, got confirmation from the crew that the cameras are not rolling, and immediately changed. Taking off her shoes, and coming down the stage.
- Who the hell do you think you are, huh?! Where is Michelle?!
- Rest, please, Ru. There's no need to be aggressive like that.
- Aggressive like that? Who do you take me for? James Corden?
- I don't think I understand the reference.
- What do you want? Where is Michelle? Who hired you?
- No one hired me, mister Charles, and your friend is safe. She will be available after the day ends. Now, please, let the music play.
Armand had the whole judge's table under his sway, when the queens came out on the stage. This time, he fed them jokes, he made sure that every angle was good. He was directing the show, and yet, he was bored. It was so predictable, and even if RuPaul was able to stand her ground against Armand's influence, it only meant that a stronger push was needed. In the end, it was just like Paris again. The clowns walked around him, and he directed them flawlessly.
The show went on, when it came to critiques. Armand spread his own takes among the judges, leaving TS Madison reputation unharmed, but essentially dooming the other guest, on social media. When the turn came for him, he was honest, and gave the queens directions, on how to improve. He was merciful, and gave real advice to all the queens, even those that he found beneath the show. As the maître, he still made a promise to art. The queens, as the only people in the building, who weren't controled by Armand, still, deeply feared him, and addressed him in the proper way. It made Armand wonder if in the end, the whole show was worth it just for that moment, but he couldn't stop the show, just for his own meditation. The show went on, the Bottom2 was chosen, and as his last act, Armand took the role of RuPaul.
- Two performers stand before me. Ladies, prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare a lip sync performance, but I am not interested in that. Tonight, you will have to maître for your lives. This means that I'm asking you to plead your case, and reveal why do you do what you do. Based on that, one of you, will be chosen to stay, and the other... will be forgotten. Quite possibly, forever.
And so the queen plead, and Armand listened. For obvious reasons, he was the only person in the room who heard the performance. When it ended, he simply left the building, not bothered by anyone, because from this point onwards, everyone who was that day on set, and Michelle Visage, would beg to forget, about the day, the vampire Armand got bored.