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Gonna love you, gonna love you, like a cockroach baby

Summary:

Eddie thought he was hallucinating, it’s been just a month since the whole Area 51 incident and he did not get enough sleep, so he decided to ignore the cockroach.
However, it did not share the same sentiment. Case in point, the next morning when he woke up in cold sweat, breathing hard from a nightmare, the bug was standing on his nightstand. Looking straight at him. The sight made his heart stop and the shoe he threw its way was completely justified.
The cockroach did not think the same, as due to it being fucking unkillable, it kept showing up more. In his kitchen, silently judging the amount of take-out he ordered. In the living room, keeping him company when a deadline was hitting too close to home. In the bathroom, watching him brush his teeth.
He had to stare it down so it would scuttle on its little legs away in disappointment when he wanted to take a shower.
---
The Adventure of Eddie Brock and The Cockroach That's Absolutely Most Definitely Not Possessed By Venom

Notes:

I watched the movie yesterday and im coping by writing this. This is my cannon now, inspired entirely by that 2nd post credit scene. Sometimes you just need to write something this dumb to get over how they handled it. So I hope you enjoy 1,5k words of cockroach-venom and eddie
But ye the spoilers are only for the ending, cuz fuck that ending.
Title is changed a bit from Black Widow by Iggy Azalea and Rita Ora

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eddie was doing great. There was no reason for Msr. Chen to look so worried every time he facetimed her from his New York apartment. So what that he still talked to himself sometimes, waiting for an answer that would never come. What if he had no shortage of chocolate stacked up inside his kitchen. What if his hands shook anytime he heard metal getting scrapped, bent, destroyed.

He was coping. He managed four hours of restless sleep yesterday, that was proof enough.

“You should talk to someone Eddie, breakups are hard.” He did not have the heart to tell Mrs. Chen that what happened was not a breakup. Besides, when he thought about it as one it was easier to pretend that Venom was out there somewhere, probably with someone who was less of a mess.

“Also, clean your place, before bugs start living there with you.” That was another thing Eddie did not tell her about, because he did not want her to think he was crazier than she presumed. See, there was this thing.

It started a week ago, when he was getting groceries, and he saw a band of cockroaches crawling around the dumpsters. They were honestly disgusting, their scurrying making too much noise for such tiny creatures. He spent some time watching them, mesmerized by the fast movement. And then, one looked straight at him. He didn’t know how a cockroach managed to look up that high, but Eddie would swear on his life that the thing recognized him.

And it kept following him ever since. When he went to work, there was a roach watching him leave the building and come back. As if waiting for him. Then it happened when he went out to drink, or whenever he went on a walk. He was sure it was the same one, because no bug should look that sentient.

For a bit, he thought about telling someone. But Mrs. Chen would tell him that he’s grieving, and he did not feel like talking to his new coworkers about his conviction that a cockroach is stalking him. They would think he’s insane.

Except then, the bug broke into his apartment.

He got home from an interview, drained from having to deal with a city official so arrogant he would give the top politicians a run for their money. And there, crawling underneath the fridge, trying to hide, was the fucking cockroach. Its little antennae peeking out just a bit to make its hiding spot fail.

Eddie thought he was hallucinating, it’s been just a month since the whole Area 51 incident and he did not get enough sleep, so he decided to ignore it.

However, it did not share the same sentiment. Case in point, the next morning when he woke up in cold sweat, breathing hard from a nightmare, the bug was standing on his nightstand. Looking straight at him. The sight made his heart stop and the shoe he threw its way was completely justified.

The cockroach did not think the same, as due to it being fucking unkillable, it kept showing up more. In his kitchen, silently judging the amount of take-out he ordered. In the living room, keeping him company when a deadline was hitting too close to home. In the bathroom, watching him brush his teeth.

He had to stare it down so it would scuttle on its little legs away in disappointment when he wanted to take a shower.

He learned to live with it. As long as there weren’t any more of them hiding somewhere, or at least staying out of his sight, it was not worth the ungodly amount of money for a specialist to come and deal with one roach. Besides, it was nice to talk to someone that was not Mrs. Chen, or the cashier at the corner store.

Maybe the coping wasn’t going as well as he thought.

---

“I’m quitting. I hate politicians. They hate me. Do they really have no one else to deal with that asshole in charge of PR?” The door behind Eddie closed with a bang and he tossed his bag on the ground, throwing his aching body on the couch.

Instead of an alien voice cheering him on, the only answer was the little tap tap of bug legs as his roach friend climbed on the coffee table, readying itself for Eddie’s monologue. Eddie turned his head, watching as it got comfortable in a tissue he left out for it some time ago. Maybe he should buy it something more comfortable, not like he had money troubles anymore. Apparently. the government pays well when you save its ass.

The little miniature set of living room furniture, with a couch and pillows included, might have been an overkill. But the bug looked very comfortable on them, and that was all that mattered.

Mrs. Chen looked very concerned when she noticed the new addition to his living room and asked him if he was seeing a professional. Eddie was worried if he told her why he bought this stuff, she might stage an intervention.

---

“…and then, she threw her coffee down my shirt! Because apparently, I was looking at her weirdly. Excuse you lady, not everyone is interested in you!” Eddie threw his arms up into the air, finishing his rant. He looked over at his silent friend and noticed it was not paying as much attention as it usually did. Instead, it was nibbling on the miniature pillow he bought for it.

Eddie realized he never thought about feeding it. What do you even feed a cockroach? His fridge was depressingly empty when he looked through it and as last resort, he reached for the stash of chocolate he kept in the back of his drawer.

The bug basically devoured an entire square of chocolate before it promptly scuttled away and fell asleep. It reminded Eddie of someone else. He did not get a blink of sleep that night.

---

“Can cockroaches get stronger if you feed them chocolate?” If the google search bar could judge him, it would. But there was no way the roach was this fast before, this nimble. He saw it push the bathroom door open yesterday and freaked out so badly he slipped and fell in the shower, hitting his head.

Then it started to drag his work phone around, then his entire bag.

He was probably going insane, because there was no way a cockroach could open a kitchen drawer and eat the entire stash of chocolate in one day. What the fuck.

Eddie reached his limit when the cockroach turned on his phone. He caught it red-handed, the way it pushed the phone against a wall to force its exoskeleton against the button on the side, powering it on. It was just about to press the button to call Mrs. Chen when he ran to snatch the phone away, preventing the disaster.

The little bastard dared to look up at him, its black eyes shining with disappointment. Eddie felt as if he was missing something very important.

---

“Mrs. Chen, do you think cockroaches can be sentient?” Mrs. Chen looked at him, stunned. After two minutes of no one saying a word, her mouth moved into a tight smile.

“Eddie, did you contact the young lady whose number I gave you? Or the young gentleman? I think you should try to move on.” Eddie groaned internally, thanking her for her time and promptly ending the call. Maybe she had a point.

---

The black-haired woman he brought home was serious, put together, and ethereally beautiful. He had no idea what she saw in him, but he decided not to test his luck. Eddie took her coat when she entered his apartment and watched as she lined her shoes perfectly to not be in the way.

It was going so well, he made small talk, managed to not embarrass himself while ignoring the hollow space in his chest. This could work. He might manage.

Except his name was Eddie Brock, and the universe had it out for him. Or maybe it was not the universe, but the fucking cockroach standing in the doorway to his living room, hissing aggressively at the woman he just brought home.

Her reaction was no surprise as she yelled, grabbed her coat and shoes and ran from his apartment without a word.

The roach was looking up at him, all smug and satisfied. Eddie fought very hard to not stomp that fucker into the ground.

---

Every guest he brought over received the same treatment. Every was an overstatement, he tried to bring over someone only once more and it ended the same way. He was getting cockblocked by a cockroach, what was his fucking life.

“Listen, we need to establish some boundaries. You can’t scare away people I invite over.” He was sitting on the couch, trying to lead a serious conversation with a bug.

The bug that raised one antenna and turned its back on him.

“Buddy, it can’t be just you and me. I can’t spend my entire life talking to a cockroach and Mrs. Chen.” He poked the roach’s back, trying to force it to turn around. Except when he touched the thing, black tendrils shot up and enveloped his hand, familiar presence filling his body and mind.

But Eddie, you didn’t mind the last time it was just you and me.

The voice, warmth, everything was so overwhelming that instead of an answer, Eddie promptly passed out.

Notes:

there is gonna be another chapter w reunion sex today, but i wanted to post this before i lose it completely
thanks for reading and leaving kudos and comments! as always, if there are any typos or mistakes lemme know in the comments! and if you need to reach me, i live on twitter