Work Text:
Anders' new client delivered a sample pack of their products to j:pr. Dawn took one look at all the packets of lube and left to get coffee.
The new company based on the South Island developed all natural and sustainable products with biodegradable packaging and animal cruelty free ingredients. Their new lube was not only suitable for vegans, but had a "we plant a tree for every 1000 products sold" policy. Unfortunately, the public complained about the feel and quality of the product. So, they came to Anders for one of his miracle solutions.
Anders knew the slogan needed to be something about wood and fired off his first idea to Mitchell, knowing the text would get a response and jumpstart his creativity.
Anders: We plant woods for your wood.
Mitchell was off and at home, probably watching reruns of The Real Hustle, and answered quickly.
Mitchell: 🌳
Anders: New client. Got a tree-planting policy. Needs a better slogan.
Mitchell: Teenage boys?
Anders: Early 20s
Mitchell: That might actually work
Anders: Come to the office and see the samples?
Mitchell: Real Hustle almost over. Want me to bring lunch?
Anders: Please?
Mitchell: 20 minutes
Anders: ✌️❤️🍆
Mitchell came through the door 23 minutes later carrying a tote of Tupperware and a coffee.
Anders jumped up to hug his husband and steal his coffee. “Please say that isn’t Pumpkin Spice,” he said, making grabby hands for the hot infusion.
Mitchell took a drink and passed the cup over. “No, it’s your flat white. Dawn handed it to me for you. I just needed a caffeine hit.”
“She’s back? Dawnsie! Come have lunch with us!”
Ty only slightly surprised Anders by coming through the door first. “We got fish and chips.” Dawn followed him in with plates, flatware, and napkins.
“Cheers!” Mitchell exclaimed, “I made Mushy Peas and some ham sandwiches.” He began opening containers and dishing up food. “Lest anyone think I was a couch potato watching the Real Hustle all morning,” he winked at Anders, “I made a Barmbrack for Halloween and it’s soaking in the refrigerator. You are coming over, yeah?”
“We wouldn’t miss it,” Dawn replied, sitting down with a plate and her own coffee. She smiled at the men. “We should do this more often.”
Anders agreed. “You schedule it and we’ll make it happen.”
Dawn and Ty smiled at each other. Marriage was really good for Anders.
A few moments passed in almost silence, only the clinking of flatware on plates interrupted small moans of pleasure as they ate. Some small talk elicited brief laughter. But soon they were all leaning back in their chairs, full and satisfied.
“I am loathe to do anything but take a nap right now,” Mitchell said, “but you did text me about some samples? Show me now or come cuddle on the couch for an hour.”
Anders scooted his chair back to his desk while the others gathered up leftovers for Olaf or Axl, depending on who came sniffing for food first. Dawn avoided the samples again by taking the dishes and containers to their small kitchen.
Ty and Mitchell followed Dawn to the kitchen to wash up, so Anders followed them with a handful of the lube sachets. He dropped them on the counter near the coffee cups and busied himself arranging the leftover containers in the refrigerator. They really needed to get a full-size refrigerator in. The cocktail prep set-up wasn’t really their style anymore.
A few minutes later, they all headed back to the conference room with fresh coffee and gathered around the sample box. Mitchell fished one out and raised his eyebrows at the contents. “So what’s their problem that requires your special touch?” He asked.
Users are complaining that the feeling is too intense, almost a burn.”
“Huh…” Ty pulled out his phone and looked up the ingredients. “Oh!”
Everyone looked at him expectantly.
“They’re idiots.”
Anders smiled. “That’s usually why they come to me for fixes,” he laughed.
Mitchell and Dawn rolled their eyes. At least Anders had accepted it.
Ty continued, “This all natural, vegan, Pumpkin Spice…” he paused and read the label again to be sure, “lube…” He shook his head. “Has cinnamon as one of the ingredients.”
The other three blinked.
“Cinnamon,” their resident baker explained, “is a spice, as in spicy, like chillies.”
“Oooooh… oh no.”
Mitchell took the sachets away from Anders. “I’m not testing those.” He turned to Ty, “What else is in it?”
“Olive oil — extra virgin.” They all laughed. “Pumpkin puree? Ginger, nutmeg, cloves…. This was a really bad idea.”
“Any ideas how to rescue their recipe?” Anders asked.
“Imitation flavors, but that would ruin their ‘all naturalness.’ Maybe strawberry pavlova or pistachio or carrot cake? Apple anything would be good.”
“Ok! That’s great. We’ll just need to brainstorm some halloweenesque names for the flavors.” Anders nodded.
“Ty should get a consulting fee,” Dawn added.
“Add it to their bill… but keep the line open until we sort out the recipes, yeah?”
She nodded and punched her husband’s shoulder gently, grinning.
Axl sauntered in with a cup of coffee, eating from one of the leftover boxes with a large spoon. “Recipes?” He asked, trying to work himself into the conversation. “How about a mushy peas recipe? These are really good.”
Mitchell thanked him.
Axl sat down and sipped his coffee, “but I’m not so sure about these flavor packets. The pumpkin spice is good, but there’s a weird oily aftertaste.”
Dawn, Anders, Ty, and Mitchell covered their laughter as best they could. Maybe there was a market for the stuff afterall.