Chapter Text
“I thought you went to get Christopher?”
Buck looked at Eddie, who was sitting towards the middle of the couch with enough space for his friend to sit next to him. His brown eyes looked curiously at him, but another feeling was hidden behind them. Buck knew that secret face, and it was the same one that had been present throughout that day. It was now or never at this point. At least this way he could ease into the conversation. So, Buck slid onto the couch next to Eddie’s left side.
“I did, but he was out like a light when I checked on him.”
“Really?”
“As real as it can get.”
“It’s- it’s been a long time since he’s fallen asleep like that. Remember when he’d fall asleep during Friday night movie marathons?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Sometimes, he’d fall asleep on you halfway through the movie-”
“-And then you’d be really careful when picking him up so he wouldn’t wake up when you put him in his actual bed.”
“At some point, we gave up on moving him and made a campout setup in the living room on Friday nights so none of us had to worry about getting into a bed.”
“Yeah, I remember that.”
Both of them were smiling while reminiscing on the past, but still hesitant on making eye contact with each other. Internally, both of them knew that this was the moment, the time to finally let everything out. It was better for it to happen now than later when it wasn’t just the two of them alone. Buck took a deep breath, composing himself before looking at Eddie,
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seemed… not yourself lately, especially today. Is something going on?”
“Do you want an answer or an explanation?”
Eddie didn’t look at Buck after he spoke, too scared to look at the face that matched his tone of voice. You have to tell him, Eddie, echoed in his head. There was no point in avoiding it anymore. All that would do is strain their friendship until it blew up in the worst possible way. Eddie took another deep breath, still forcing himself to not look at his concerned friend.
“I thought I was okay… but, I’m not so sure anymore.”
“Okay… Did something happen recently, like a nightmare or panic attack that you haven’t told me about?”
“No, I haven’t had a panic attack since… I think since last month.”
“What about nightmares? Bad dreams?”
“I- I think you know the answer to that, Buck.”
“Eddie, if this is about you grabbing me in your sleep-”
“It’s not just that. It’s… It’s everything!”
Now, Eddie was face to face with Buck, the last part of his sentence cracking in his voice. He felt the tears starting to form in his eyes, not caring if his best friend could see them or not. Eddie was about to speak again, but was cut off by Buck’s hand resting on his outer shoulder, forcing the pair to really look at each other. A moment of silence passed through, Buck being the one to break it before Eddie could jump the gun.
“Eddie… I haven’t been entirely honest with you, and-and I think somewhere down the line, I might have hurt you and-”
“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known…”
“But I haven’t reached out to you to make sure you’re okay more often and I’m really sorry about that. I really care about you, Eds. I-I…”
“You what, Buck?”
That last question was spoken as gently as the first snowfall. The room had fallen quieter than it ever had been before that moment, only the lightest of breathing could be heard. Most of the lights were also off within the house, only the dim light of the living room lamps illuminating the area. Despite the soft light, Buck and Eddie looked at each other intensely, almost as if they were absorbing every detail on one another’s faces. Every scar, every crease, every hair, their eyes were taking it in, memorizing each one individually. Buck scooted closer to Eddie, moving his hand off his shoulder and using it to cup Eddie’s cheek ever so gingerly. He brushed his thumb underneath the man’s eye, wiping away the stray tear that had fallen from his warm brown eyes. Eddie, almost surprised by his friend’s move, responded by carefully lifting his hands to take Buck’s face, his own thumbs grazing over Buck’s cheeks ever so softly. Eddie took a deep breath, making sure that Buck was locked in his gaze before speaking in a low whisper only meant for the two of them to hear,
“Tell me, Buck…”
“I… I love you, Eddie…”
Buck had a small grin on his face, eyes closed to let the small tears trickle down his cheeks. Eddie dragged his right thumb across his cheekbone, swiping away the stray tear in the process. He kept moving it gently until it rested close to the top of Buck’s upper lip, letting it linger there for a moment. Buck breathed shakily, a weak laugh coming out.
“I love you so much, Eddie. I was just so scared to lose you that I didn’t say anything. Every person I’ve ever told that to ended up leaving me by some point… I-I thought that you wouldn’t be any different, leaving me the second I told you how much I love you, but…”
“But what?”
“I realized that there was a chance you wouldn’t leave, a feeling in my gut that told me that this was different… You were going to be different from everyone else, that you weren’t going anywhere.”
“Oh, Buck…”
At that moment, Eddie leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on Buck’s lips. It was a sweet one as Eddie feeling Buck kiss him back with the same gentleness. Their hearts raced in their chests, the feeling of small sparks bursting in their heads like celebratory fireworks. It was one of the best first kisses of either of their lives, and they wanted to feel that joy every time after. When they broke apart, resting their foreheads together while they looked at one another with a kind of happiness that was immeasurable, Eddie spoke with the dumbest grin on his face,
“For the record, I also love you if that wasn’t an indicator of anything.”
“No shit.”
The pair let out a quiet laugh before engaging in another kiss, Buck initiating it this time. Unlike the previous, this kiss was more heated, more passionate. As it got more intense, the pair fighting for dominance over the other, Buck gently dragged Eddie onto his lap, breaking apart for a few milliseconds at a time to keep the mood going. He kept his arms around Eddie’s waist, holding him ever so carefully so he didn’t fall off, while Eddie’s own hand stayed in place on Buck’s cheekbones, his thumb running over the pinkish birthmark and across the healed scars that secretly covered his face. They kept making out, neither of them wanting the moment to end. However, some younger members of the house had other ideas. An infant’s cries echoed through the hallway, causing Buck and Eddie to separate from one another. Eddie lightly chuckled, looking at Buck with the most loved-filled eyes possible,
“Well, duty calls.”
“I can get her. Give me like, 10 minutes.”
“Who said you were going alone?”
“Eddie, you and I both know that Elly probably just woke up because she pooped her diaper.”
“-Or she needs to be fed. I mean, it’s almost midnight.”
“Ooo, you might be right. I’m gonna go check on her, can you-”
“I’ll get a bottle ready.”
“You’re the best Papí, you know that.”
At first, it didn’t fully register with Eddie as to what Buck had just called him, but the second he did, all he could do was have the biggest smile on his face. He leaned in and kissed Buck again quickly, joy radiating from his heart, before getting off of him and heading to the kitchen.
“Go take care of our hija, Buck.”
“I-I, um… I’m not done with you yet.”
“I know.”
Buck couldn’t help but smirk a little bit at Eddie’s remark. Before he headed down the hallway, he walked up to Eddie at the kitchen counter, cupping his face and kissing him one last time.
“I love you, Eddie. So much.”
“I love you too, Buck, truly.”
And so Buck and Eddie went to soothe their daughter back to sleep that night before heading back to their own bed to settle down for the night, holding one another close until they slipped into the gentle comfort of sleep, knowing that they had both finally found that love they were destined for. The love that would only grow with the rest of their lives.
Buck and Eddie had reached their peace.
And they were finally happy.