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Suts doesn’t want to play with a left handed shot, he wants to play with Jerry. He understands why Yeo is trying to change it up, but he doesn’t like it one bit. He understands that the team is slumping, but he doesn’t see why they should change something that works. Him and Jerry, they work.
Ryan wasn’t always so sure of their partnership, but he’s come around to it. When he first got to Minnesota they put him with Jerry, who’s just about as different any defenseman can be from Shea. He’ll admit it, at first he was pretty skeptical, wondering if this kid would be able to keep up. Their first handful of games were pretty rough, though Ryan knows a lot of that was him having not settled into the Wild’s system, still a little bit lost. They only play together for three games after the lockout ended before Jerry got hurt, blocking one of Shea’s shots with his foot. Ryan might not have known what sort of defenseman Spurg was, but that showed he sure had guts.
By the time Spurg got healthy Ryan was playing with Brods, and they were real good for a while. Ryan learned how good Spurg was watching him on the second pairing that year, and the next, before they got put together again.
They started together this year, and it’s been good. This is the best start to a season Ryan’s had in Minnesota. Playing with a right hand shot has been good for his offense, and they‘ve been solid in their own end too. They play different sorts of games. Ryan likes to make the long first pass, while Spurg would rather skate up and take the puck in himself. Playing with Spurg has made Ryan try that more than he might have otherwise, get more involved offensively. It’s good. Ryan doesn’t see why they’re changing things.
When he gets asked after practice what he thinks about the new pairings he says that he needs to play with a right hand shot. That is maybe not a politic answer, but Ryan’s never worried much about that sort of thing.
If he has something he feels like saying, he’s going to say it, and deal with the consequences. There are plenty of things he’ll never say because it’s nobody’s business, but when it’s a simple hockey question like that? There’s no reason why he shouldn’t speak his mind.
Well, except for how they’re going to try to make this into a story, when it really shouldn’t be. He’ll do what’s asked of him, whatever the team needs. He just isn’t going to lie and say he wouldn’t rather play with a right shot.
Nothing against Brods, who’s a great kid, and a great skater. Brods’s ability to play on his off side is admirable, far better than Ryan would be if he tried to play on the right. He likes playing with Brods. He just feels that he’s better with a right shot. Being with Jerry puts him in the best place to succeed.
It’s snowing when they get out of practice. Not enough to stop them from flying to Chicago, but enough to make the drive to the airport slower.
There’s plenty of teasing on the plane ride. The younger guys who are on the Twitter are reporting that Ryan’s comments are making quite a stir.
It’s easy enough to laugh it off. Ryan’s not much for saying things, but he can handle the blowback that comes with honesty. It’s all getting blown out of proportion, but that’s what the media does. He doesn’t give a damn what gets written about him, would rather they didn’t say anything really. He’s just gonna do his job, they can say whatever they want. The important thing is that he’s good for the team, and that his team understands where he’s coming from.
Still, he makes a point to check in with Brods. If they’re going to be playing together like Yeo wants then it’s important to make sure they’re on the same page.
“You know it’s nothing to do with you, right?” Ryan asks.
Brods nods. He’s such a good kid, and he’s grown so much since his rookie year. He’s been a reliable defenseman from the start, but the past few years he’s opened up, and gotten so much more comfortable around the team. It’s been a treat to see.
“Good,” Ryan says. “We know we can be solid, we’re gonna go out there and be solid for the team.” Both of their offense suffers, but they can play good hockey together.
Ryan just wants their defense to work. He knows they can play tighter than they have this year. He’s sure of it. If Yeo thinks putting last years pairs back together is right way to go about that, then okay. Ryan disagrees — he think’s it’s giving up too much, and isn’t putting himself in the best situation to succeed, but okay. Whatever the team needs from him, he ready to give.
Sometimes — a lot of the time — defense partners fool around. It’s supposed to build chemistry, help guys read each other better. Lots of linemates hook up in different variations for the same reasons. It’s one of those old school hockey things that have been around forever, that the new fancy stats say it doesn’t make a difference, but plenty of people still believe in. Ryan does, after a fashion. He knows it’s not the be-all-end-all, but it can make difference.
It’s never been something Ryan and Jerry have done.
When they first played together after the lockout they had known each other for all of two weeks. They hardly knew how to talk to each other, and didn’t have a chance to consider anything else. Ryan was still getting used to being on the same team as Zach, and having that sort of steady relationship that will continue to exist independently from hockey. Jerry had a wife — has a wife — and whatever Marco is.
Ryan knows that Jerry and Marco have kept on fucking around even this year when they haven't played together at all. It probably isn't right to call that fucking around, but Ryan doesn't know what it really is. It's never seemed like his business, not until now.
Jerry is his defense partner, and they could have that sort of connection. It can help. Ryan knows that. That's how it was with Shea in Nashville. Having sex has been a good way for him to mentor Brods, a different sort of communication that wasn't all words, something they're both dreadful about.
The more Ryan thinks about it now, the more he thinks that having sex with Jerry would be good. It would be a change, and something does needs to change. They aren't going to have a losing streak like last year. They're going to have to pull it together and start playing hard. Sex with Jerry won't make that happen, but it couldn't hurt.
It’s an interesting possibility. Jerry and him could have sex. Ryan doesn’t know what that’d be like. He has no idea how they’d translate into that situation, but he’d like to find out.
The thing to do is talk about it, to raise the possibility to Jerry and see what he thinks. Jerry might shut the idea down right away, but Ryan doesn’t think so.
“You know how a lot of D pairs are…” Ryan doesn’t really want to say it, but if you can’t say it you probably shouldn’t be having it.
It’s only sex. Jerry and him have talked about sex before. Or, well, they’ve sat next to each other in the locker room while sex has been talked about, but the way sex gets talked about in a locker room is a lot different than the kind of sex they might have with each other.
“I’ve been thinking about it some, and think it might be good if we fucked. Might be good to see what happens.”
There. That isn’t such a hard thing to say.
Spurg is thinking it over, looking serious, but not offended, not appalled, just thoughtful. He’s considering. “I’d have to talk it over, make sure it’s alright, but yeah. I think it might be worth trying."
That’s as good as any answer Ryan could expect. “Neat. You think about it, let me know.” Maybe this doesn’t turn into anything, but at least it’s out there now, raised as a possibility. It might turn into something. Even just bringing up the idea changes something between them.
It’s understandable that Jerry has to talk about it with someone else. Jerry has a wife, and Marco too; Ryan doesn't know what kind of arrangement they have. With him and Zach they don't need to tell each other, they trust each other, know they're coming home to each other at the end of the day. But that comes out of being long distance for years, where it was the only way things made sense. It kept working for them even now that they're living under the same roof. Ryan did mention it to Zach, that he was thinking of this. Zach had sounded intrigued, but not concerned, never concerned. They’re solid. Whatever might happen with Jerry is something else, something that’s about the team, bigger than just the two of them. Exactly what they are is something Ryan’s still uncertain of.
They land in Chicago, and get on a bus to the hotel. Ryan’s played a lot of games in Chicago over his career. It’s a familiar view out the window, if not one he’s fond of. It’s the same hotel they’ve stayed at during the playoffs the last three years, which could be comfortable, but isn’t.
Ryan’s happy to have Zach healthy on the road with him again. He had been lonely with a room to himself. They get settled in, hang up their suits, and lie around doing nothing much until dinner.
The whole team is heading out for dinner, when Jerry pulls Ryan aside, taking hold of his jacket sleeve and pulling him to one side of the lobby. They’re out of the way behind some potted plants that Ryan thinks are fakes, but good fakes. Ryan would have to check the roots to be sure, and this isn’t the right moment for that sort of investigation.
“What you brought up earlier — I’m interested,” Jerry says.
“Yeah?” Ryan asks, surprised the quick turnaround coming back with a yes. He thought Jerry would want to think about it more. He must have talked to Scandi, called his wife, and figured it out. A quick decision shouldn’t be surprising; Jerry has always been good at knowing his own mind.
“It seems worth trying,” Jerry says.
“Later tonight?” Ryan asks, thinking about their upcoming schedule.
“No time like the present.”
Ryan nods. That makes the most sense. It’s only a one game road trip, and these are the sort of things that happen on the road.
“I’ll text you later,” Jerry says, and that’s it. They’ve got it figured out. They’re gonna do this. They’re gonna have sex later.
But not until after dinner. Right now they’ve got to catch up with the guys to walk over to the restaurant.
Dinner’s good. They’ve been home a lot, all with their families doing their own things, so it’s good to be together as team. Maybe they had been missing this.
Chris and Zach are talking about football. This is usually something he’d usually be interested in, but there are other things on his mind tonight. He keeps thinking ahead, and looking down the table to where Jerry’s sitting. It happens often enough that Zach smiles knowingly.
Ryan shakes his head, trying to clear out the cobwebs.
He goes back to the room he shares with Zach. He had been excited to have Zach healthy and back on the road with him. He wasn't expecting to step out to screw around with someone else. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but still — he wouldn’t mind lying here all night, with Zach in bed next to him, watching home remodeling shows and talking until it’s time to go to sleep.
His phone buzzes. It’s Jerry, with a room number and an offer, come over now? This is really happening.
He walks down the hall and knocks on the door. Spurg lets him in. Nothing to see, just another hotel room, just like his, Jerry’s suitcase open on the table. Ryan doesn’t know anything about how Jerry settles into hotel rooms, that he can’t remember ever going into Jerry’s room before. They don’t even hang out on the road much, they aren’t really that kind of close, or they hadn’t been before now.
Maybe this will change things.
Right now it just seems strange.
It’s an odd moment, and the uncertainty feels very heavy in a way Ryan hadn’t expected. They don’t know whether it’s really the right move to do this change what they have, which had been working, before other people started changing it for them.
“Do you want some water?” Jerry asks, trying to make the mood more comfortable.
Ryan shakes his head. “I’m fine.” He is, it’s just odd here.
They stand next to each other all the time, but Ryan isn’t usually so aware of it. He knows that Jerry’s this much shorter than him, but now he’s thinking about what it would be like if he leaned down to kiss Jerry.
It’s been a while since he’s done this with someone new, and it’s awkward to think about. Most first times are awkward, especially if you already know each other outside of the sex, especially if it isn’t spontaneous, especially if there isn’t anything romantic or passionate about it.
There’s an expectation hanging over them, that they’re going to fuck, and that’ll change something. There’s anticipation curling in Ryan’s belly, mixed with nerves, and something else — a sense that this is about something bigger, not just them having sex. This is about the team. This is about chemistry.
Jerry takes Ryan’s hand, and sits down on the end of the bed, holding on so Ryan sits next to him. Their heights are more even sitting like this. The idea is that they’re going to kiss — that’s the next move. Ryan wants that. He’s ready to find out what kissing Jerry is going to be like, but finds himself frozen, thinking too hard.
It’s alright though. He doesn’t have to make anything happen by himself. He has a partner in this.
Jerry puts his hand on Ryan’s face, cradling his jaw, clearly telegraphing it as he moves in for a kiss. Ryan closes his eyes, and waits for Jerry to close the last few inches between their lips. The kiss doesn’t feel surprising; Jerry’s sweet and assertive at the same time, getting to know Ryan’s mouth with his own.
As they kiss Jerry’s hands finds his waist, first just resting there, and then two hands sneak under his shirt, pushing it up. Jerry’s hands are firm against Ryan’s chest, maybe checking that he’s solid, or maybe just feeling him up. Either way, Ryan likes it.
They stop kissing for Ryan to pull his shirt up and over his head, and Jerry gets his shirt off too. Jerry’s broad shoulders and hairless chest is familiar from years of sharing a locker room, but there’s something different in having seen a man’s chest and feeling it under your hands, breathing heavy with how good a kiss is.
They scoot up the bed, giving themselves more room to work with, but they wind up kissing more, trading long lazy kisses as they get to know each other this way. Their legs start to tangle together, looking for friction, beginning to grind against each other with their jeans still on. It’s an experiment, trying to find out what works, learning how they fit together. Jerry makes it better, throwing his leg over Ryan’s thigh, half climbing onto Ryan’s lap. Jerry is smaller, but he’s still solid. He’s at least as broad as Ryan, and there isn’t any give in him. He’s pushing, and Ryan’s letting himself be pushed, trusting Jerry’s choice in direction.
There’s something simple about this. It isn’t romantic, or passionate, just the camaraderie that’s supposed to be there when D partners do this. Ryan’s never really had that before. Maybe at the very beginning with Shea, but they got complicated fast. With Brods he was always a mentor, especially in this, always conscious of his age and experience. With Jerry they’re doing this as friends and equals.
Ryan shouldn’t be surprised by how strong Jerry is, he isn’t really, but he’d never thought about how that strength would translate to a situation like this. It’s kinda nice to be pushed like this, to be led. He wants to go with it, not put his own strength into the equation. He’s happy to sit back, and kiss back, and appreciate Jerry on top of him.
After kissing for a while longer it feels like there’s been enough foreplay to be proper. The fact that they’re doing this hardly feels strange anymore. Jerry moves off him, and they shimmy out of their jeans without getting off the bed, kicking them too the floor. Their socks come off too, and now they’re naked and hard, which should be strange, but isn’t.
It’s simple — his hand on Jerry’s dick, Jerry’s hand on his. It’s good, but nothing mindblowing, nothing strange. It’s just what it needs to be. It’s solid, like how they’re solid. They work well together, and this isn’t an exception.
Ryan comes when Jerry’s thumb swipes across the head of his dick. It takes him by surprise.
It isn't anything like falling apart. It isn't any sort of phenomenal. It’s just good. They aren't meant for each other, aren’t crazy about it, they’re just good. That’s more than enough. That’s all Ryan was hoping for — evidence that they're good together, some sort of proof that what he feels is true. They’re really fucking good together.
He has the sense, just barely, to make sure that Jerry comes too. It takes all the coordination he can muster, but the are good at this, and Ryan does know what he’s doing, more or less. He knows how to get his partner off.
Pleasure is more pleasurable if it's shared. Reciprocation is important to them, part of the ways they look after each other. It's never meant orgasm before, but there's a first time for everything. It's just a handjob, nothing special. It's just handjobs, sure, but it's also credit to their partnership. They made this work. They made a mess of each other.
They lie in bed next to each other. It isn’t awkward. Ryan doesn’t feel the need to say anything — they understand each other well enough. Jerry looks sleepy, and as young as ever, but Ryan knows that’s deceptive. Jerry’s a grown man, an equal, a peer, a partner. That was true before what they just did. Tonight was just an extension of that, an exploration of what else they are.
It doesn’t feel like anything has changed, not really. It’s just settled. Ryan is more sure than ever, having lived further proof of how well they work. Sex with Jerry isn't a what-if to wonder about any more. It's something they've done, something they shared, something that Ryan can imagine doing again.
Ryan will get dressed, and go back to his own room, where Zach is waiting. Jared will stay here, maybe call his wife, or go to Scandi, or maybe he'll simply go to sleep. Ryan doen’t know Jerry’s plans — they don’t know everything about each other, just the things they need for it to work. Ryan likes that they aren’t all wrapped up in each other. They’re independent pieces that support each other, not halves of something that can’t be separated without falling apart.
Going back to his own room and leaving this moment will be fine. Ryan just wants to lie here for a while first, comforted by the knowledge that he can count on this. Their partnership is dependable. This didn't mess them up; he doesn't know what could.
It’s important to have things that can be counted on. Ryan has a lot of those — his home, Zach, his family, this team, all stable around him. He knows where he belongs. But it never hurts to have one more sure thing.
After a while he does get up. He puts his clothes back on, while Jerry picks boxers and a shirt out of his suitcase. They move around each other easy a ever.
Ryan toes his shoes back on, almost ready to go. He should maybe say something, but isn’t sure what. They work well without talking a whole lot.
“That was good,” he says.
Jerry nods.
They understand each other. That’s all there is to it.
Ryan is about to head out, but Jerry stops him. He puts his hand on the side of Ryan’s face, and Ryan stops. Jerry pulls him closer — pulls him down really — and is maybe standing on his toes to make it easy to kiss him on the cheek.
That’s a little bit different. Jerry’s blushing, maybe, just a little, while at the same time seeming very sure of what he just did. As he should. Ryan liked that.
He smiles.
“See you at breakfast in the morning,” Jerry says.
Ryan nods. “See ya then.”
He walks down the hall to his own room. He doesn’t know if anything’s changed, can’t tell if anything’s different yet. Things are shifting, and it’s hard to say how, but it might be that it isn’t so much an upheaval, but things settling much as they were, but more solid. There’s one thing he’s certain of; it’s better if he’s playing with a right hand shot.