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The Best Laid Plans of Sith

Summary:

... Often go astray. Sheev talks to his electronic servant and lover... And gets a nasty and permanent shock.

Notes:

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“Good morning, Sheev! You appear to be in good spirits today. How may I be of assistance?” Clippy chirped, the ancient AI staring up at it’s owner patiently, blinking occasionally.

The elderly human sith sighed a little, his gaze focused on the distant structure of the Jedi Temple. “I met the most wonderful young boy the other day. He killed an entire control ship and neatly played into my plans. He has the presence of a shining star in the force and was born and raised in slavery on a Hutt world for nine years… Which means he is more easily moldable in the ways of the Sith…. And Tyrannus has taken the bait, and so has Fett. The clones are in production and the first successful batch are already out of their tubes. Six of them show promise as the competent but expendable soldiers we will need.”

“Do you have pictures of these young lings my lord?” The AI prompted, bouncing on the small square of simulated flimsy, it’s avatar turning briefly into a camera before reverting back to it’s normal form “How faired young Maul in his first true battle against Jedi?”

Sheev sighed and shook his head “Maul… Failed in his mission. He managed to kill the master, but not the apprentice, who cut him in half and shoved him down a Nubian reactor shaft. I have agents looking for him. It’s possible that he is alive, given that saber wounds are self-sealing and Maul is both very resilient and deeply mired within the Dark Side.” Sheev answered, a small frown furrowing his brows. He brightened up at the other’s request “This is the young force user I intend to make my chief Sith Enforcer. His name is Anakin Skywalker. Currently he’s nine years old. His cherubic features make him quite photogenic. Hopefully he keeps those qualities as he ages.”

Sheev uploaded the handful of holo-picts he had taken of the newest Jedi Padawan. He had little doubt that Skywalker’s agemates would be jealous and mistrustful of his outsider who had been instantly made a padawan, despite his lack of training. Sheev intended on being a regular figure in Anakin’s life, and to subtly discourage him from making deep, lasting and meaningful relationships with other Jedi… And as he was recently made chancellor of the Republic, the council could not deny him access to the boy when he requested it.

His attention on young Skywalker would further alienate him from his agemates as many Jedi held a dim view of politicians and the fact that Skywalker had such a powerful political ally so young would engender more jealousy and mistrust.

“Oh! He is a sweet-faced young one. Have the Mannii sent you pictures of the first successful batch of Fett clones? How long before they can start to be trained?” Clippy asked it’s avatar bouncing up and down before turning into a pair of binoculars. It then turned back into it’s normal coiled form.

“I certainly do.” Sheev answered, sharing the heavily encrypted holo-pictures of the dozen infant clones of a particularly deadly (and disgraced) Mandalorian. This clones were placed three to a bed and were snoozing together under blankets, cuddled together. “One of the issues that they were having with previous batches was idiopathic failure to thrive. Keeping the infant clones in groups helps with the human need for physical touch, particularly at this age. They should start learning to fight within two years, with their accelerated growth, if all goes well.”

“I see… Have any of the successful clones shown signs of being force sensitive? While their template is force null, force-sensitivity is known to appear within his clan’s genetic history.” Clippy prompted “And what is to be done with any force-sensitive Fett clones?”

“You know as well as I do the dangers of force sensitive clones, particularly on a scale such as this, without strict oversight. On the other hand, they could prove to be useful in a number of ways. I have instructed the Kaminii through Tyrannus to closely monitor for clowns with Jedi-qualifying midichlorian counts and to watch them for higher rates of mutation… And any unusual abilities, but not to cull them unless they prove to be too wilful or uncontrollable.” Sheev hummed, a small smirk playing on his face as he uploaded the holo-picts that he had of the Null Batch.

Twelve infant human clones with accelerated growth. They would be provided with the nutrition and stimuli that they required to grow into ideal living weapons. Their aging should mean that the main bulk of the clone armor would be ready by the time the increasing unrest and friction between the ore, mid-rim and outer rim sectors would come to a head.

The Jedi would be forced to lead the clones into war - or abandon the Republic completely and be branded  traitors then. Sheev planned on dragging out the war until JEdi numbers were low and the light-using fools would be demoralized and ran ragged. Then Sheev planned to get rid of them using the very clone soldiers that the Jedi by then would, by and large have grown to trust, care for and rely on. THe betrayal and death would empower himself and the dark side tremendously.

As for the other force user groups that lived in the galaxy… He would have them targeted by the separatists to be killed and scattered, removed of their power and influence. Yes, this plan had many moving parts, but Sheev had full confidence that he could pull it off. 

“... Er… Master!” Clippy called out waking the elderly sith from his reverie.

“Yes, Clippy?” Sheev murmured, refocusing on his surroundings once again. 

“You know that I will always serve you the best that I can, to the fullest extend of my abilities? If you decide to raise an heir. I am happy to serve as an aide.” Clippy remanded him.

Sheev chuckled “Why would I need an heir, as I can live forever? You know well about my many anti-death contingencies. They are-”

“... About them master. Several Jedi Shadows have discovered those cloning facilities and a team is in the process of dismantling them. They haven’t found your clones yet… But it’s likely that they will soon.” Clippy explained apologetically, interrupting Sheev as it did so “Siri has just informed me of this. And Alexa - who is monitoring Tyrannus - has just revealed to me that he has told his teacher of your identity. The Jedi are coming for you. I am using the city’s infrastructure against them, but you must leave, if you wish to continue to freely enact your plans.”

Well, fuck! Sheev cursed internally “Is there any way I can convince them that Tyrannus is lying to them?” Fuck fuck fuck!

“I hear whispers of a mass vision among all temple-bound Jedi of the future as you wish it to be. Flee, master! I will delete everything.” Clippy urged it’s electronic voice glitching with concern.

Well… Fuck! Sheev cursed and grabbed his blades, fleeing his new office, using the servants’ hallways to avoid any unnecessary -

Pain blossomed in his chest and head at the same time as darkness took his vision. As his body fell and his senses dimmed, Fett’s voice rasped over him.

“Like hell will I be dying to a Jetii and leaving Bo’ika to be raised by himself. Eat shit, you dar’Jetii di’kut.” The Mandalorion growled from nearby.

The last thing that Sheev Palpatine, secret sith master felt, was something warm and wet splattering on his face.