Chapter Text
July 2024: Germany
After the referee blows the final whistle, Jamal is angry. Angrier than he’s ever been before after a match. He really thought Germany could win the Euros. He was convinced they would, with how smoothly everything was going, how great the team chemistry was.
He’d been having a tournament of a lifetime this far, on the best path to become the top-scorer. He scowls and angrily throws his shirt onto the bench as he changes, ignoring his teammates around him. That was a damn penalty. He’s so sure his shot would’ve been a goal if that stupid hand hadn’t blocked it. Angry tears build up in his eyes on the bus ride back to the team hotel. He’s in his own world, doesn’t register anything the coaches have to say.
Fuck.
He wanted to prove to the world what a great player he is, finally all eyes were on him and his team. Wanted to prove to himself that it was the right decision to choose Germany over England. The worst part of it is that he can’t really blame himself or the team. They did great.
In his room he angrily throws his clothes on the floor, makes a mess as he chucks his duvet and pillows off the bed, before face planting down onto it. He just lays there and doesn’t move for what feels like hours, but sleep simply won’t come.
Then someone knocks on his door.
When Jamal opens it he’s not sure what he’s expecting. And to be honest, he doesn’t care. Maybe it’s Flo who also can’t sleep. Maybe it’s room service, because someone heard him throw his things around. He’s sad and angry and tired, and he just hopes that whoever it is isn’t going to disturb him for too long.
Nothing prepares him for a pair of big brown eyes, framed by long eyelashes, tan skin and a sharp, nervously clenched jawline.
Jude.
Jude is here.
At the door of his hotel room.
Jamal’s brain stops functioning for a second. The two men just stare at each other in silence for a minute until Jude clears his throat. “Um, sorry, I…,” he stammers, but interrupts himself and makes a nervous gesture with his hands. “I brought this for you.” Jude pulls out a pint of ice cream from his bag. It’s Jamal’s favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor and he swallows hard, opening the door a bit more.
“Come in.” Jamal desperately hopes that none of his teammates noticed Jude on his way here, otherwise there’d be many questions tomorrow. “Sorry, I would’ve cleaned my room if I’d known anyone was coming over.”
Suddenly he feels a little embarrassed at the state his room is in right now due to his earlier anger. He used to be the tidy one when he and Jude shared a room on the national team, always folding everything neatly and reminding the other to clean up behind himself. A few years ago Jude would’ve made a joke about how the tables have turned, but right now he looks too scared to joke. It breaks Jamal’s heart. He hates to see Jude like this and even though he’s still angry at him, even though his thoughts are on the game he just lost, all he wants to do is to take his best friend into his arms. To comfort Jude and be comforted by him.
He doesn’t though, just notions for him to sit down on the couch. Once the silence feels a little too tense Jamal decides to break it.
“So…not that I don’t appreciate it, believe me, I do…but, what the hell are you doing here, Jude? Don’t you have a match in like two days?”
Jude pulls his legs up onto the couch and hugs them, making himself a lot smaller than he is, now facing towards Jamal, who’s sitting in a similar position. He’s quiet for a few seconds before he starts speaking.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me. And I get it, I screwed up…but I just couldn’t not come after tonight. You looked so sad on TV and I didn’t want you to be alone. And I noticed you were still wearing the necklace I have you. So I thought….I don’t know what I thought.” Jude looks up at Jamal, an open and trusting look on his face. “And if you want to kick me out and just eat the ice cream that’s okay, too,” Jude smiles tentatively, before adding. “I miss you.”
And just like that Jamal knows he won’t kick him out.
He can’t. No matter how badly Jude hurt him all those years ago, he’s still the kid who used to be his best friend. And he cared enough to take a long trip just to surprise Jamal with ice cream in the middle of the night. It’s honestly kind of cute.
Stop. Don’t got there, that’s what started this mess in the first place, Jamal reminds himself.
“I do want the ice cream,” Jamal say and agrees to Jude’s peace offering. “But I also want you.” He blushes as he realizes how that sounds.
“I mean I want you to stay. Do you want to eat some too? I think I’ve got bowls and spoons somewhere in this room.”
Jude smiles, releasing some of the tension in his shoulders.
“Nah, it’s all yours. I still got a game to play soon.”
His hands still fidget with his shirt nervously though, and when he reaches up, like he’s looking for something else, Jamal notices that the cross necklace he’s never known the other boy without it gone. He’s not wearing it. He doesn’t know if that means anything, but it makes him feel more relaxed. Like maybe Jude has truly changed.
Jamal nods and takes a spoon to eat the ice cream straight out of the container. Normally he wouldn’t, but after tonight’s loss he can’t find it in himself to care about nutrition. “So I take it you watched the game?” Jamal asks bitterly.
“I did,” Jude replies. “You guys deserved to win.”
Jamal digs into the ice cream aggressively. “Yeah, well, we didn’t.”
Jude looks unsure how to comfort him.
“No, but that was a penalty, mate. Hundred percent, no discussion. Your shot was literally blocked by Cucurella’s hand.”
Jamal doesn’t have it in himself to get angry about it again, but it’s just so damn unfair.
“Let’s just not talk about it.”
It reminds him of their games together at youth level. Jude was always the one to get angry. To yell about referee decisions and unfair opponents. To complain about the bad pitch conditions for days, and how he would have scored that chance if he hadn’t slipped. Jamal wasn’t like that. He didn’t like to think about what went wrong for too long or about the what if’s. That didn’t help anyone.
Jude stays quiet for a few minutes as Jamal eats his ice cream. Then he breaks the silence, his voice tense.
“I mean it, Jamal. I really, really miss you. And I wish we could be friends again.”
Jamal resists the urge to rolls his eyes at that. Friends. Yeah, right. Because friends kiss one another and then act like Jude had for the past few years. That’s not what friends do.
But a small part of him, a part he didn’t even knew existed before tonight, feels ready to forgive Jude. Seeing him sit in front of him right now, in an oversized track suit, looking soft in the dim light...He no longer looks like the boy who hurt him a few years ago. Jude looks grown up, hell, he’s even a little bit taller than Jamal now. Most certainly broader.
The arrogance Jamal’s been so angry at, that air of nonchalance that Jude always surrounds himself with these days, is not there right now. Maybe it was just for the media. He looks vulnerable and cute and…damn it Jamal’s so screwed.
He sighs and finally looks into Jude’s eyes, before he makes a decision. He’s not fully ready to forgive Jude yet, but for now he’s ready to forget.
“I miss you too,” Jamal says quietly. “And I miss hanging out with you. We should definitely meet up sometime this summer.” He grimaces as he remembers why Jude is here in the first place. “Maybe when I’m not all sad about the Euros, though. I’m not the best company right now.”
Jude grins at that, looking a lot more confident than he had all evening. “Nah, you’re always good company.”
They spend the rest of the night talking until the sun rises, and Jude has to leave to return to the England team hotel a few hours away. They don’t acknowledge the kiss that started the whole mess between them almost four years ago, but Jamal unblocks Jude’s number as soon as the other leaves his room.
And despite the loss against Spain last night, Jamal feels like he won something. All the anger that had been bubbling under his skin is dissolved, and he feels hopeful. Hopeful, that maybe him and Jude can fix things.
After a final press conference and talk with the coach, Jamal leaves the hotel and goes home to Munich. He continues to follow the tournament, watches England play horrible football, but still go through somehow. He sends some joking texts about that to Jude, who just rolls his eyes at him when they face time later that day. It’s nice to be talking again. To wake up with a message from Jude almost every morning.
Jamal watches the final of the Euros with Flo, who’s in Munich for a day before he’ll fly somewhere warm to go on holiday with some friends. Jamal’s got his own house by now, with more than enough rooms to lend one to a friend for one night.
They follow the game while sharing a pizza, and Flo is a little confused why Jamal is suddenly rooting for England, instead of throwing spiteful words at Bellingham as he loses duels or plays passes that don’t arrive. “What’s up with you, suddenly rediscovered your English patriotism?” Flo jokes and Jamal blushes. “I don’t know…something like that.”
His heart hurts for Jude when he watches Spain lift the trophy. Jamal remembers the night Jude showed up at his hotel room after their loss against Spain, remembers how angry and sad he had been. Losing when you are as close to the title as England had been must hurt even more.
So when Flo leaves for the airport in the middle of the night, Jamal shoots Jude a text.
“You played well. There’ll be more chances.”
And then after a second of overthinking it,
“If you want some time off you could join me in Sicily. I’ll be renting a house there with my family for the summer. But next week it’ll just be me”
He turns his phone off as soon as the text sends, and throws it far away, too scared of Jude’s possible rejection. Jamal doesn’t dare to look at his phone for the rest of the night and his sleep suffers from his nerves. In the morning he decides that maybe he’s being a bit dramatic, and in a change of mood turns his phone back on.
The texts pops up immediately, send by Jude.
“I’d love to. I’ll be in Munich tomorrow?”
“Or well, today I guess. You know what I mean”
Jamal chuckles. The texts were send at three a.m. So Jude really wants to spend time with him. Their last meet up wasn’t just a one-time thing. Jamal replies quickly, his fingers flying over his phone.
“Great, I can’t wait. There’s a flight at 10 p.m. tonight, let me know if you’ll make it. Then I’ll book us two seats.”
Jude immediately reacts with a thumbs up, and the rest of the day passes in a blur.
Jude arrives and they put on hats and sunglasses as they head to the airport. Despite flying first class, it’s the only way for them to not get recognized and it works surprisingly well. Jamal gets stopped once on their way to the gate by a girl who asks for a picture. He agrees to take one and poses with her. Jude tries his best not to laugh while he takes the picture. After the girl leaves, Jude breaks out into a fit of giggles. “See, I told you, you should’ve gone with your sister’s sunglasses instead. My own mother wouldn’t recognize me in these,” Jude says and points to the ridiculously large pink sunglasses sitting on his face.
Jamal rolls his eyes and takes Jude’s hand to pull him towards their gate. They’re almost late.
“At least I won’t be embarrassed if anyone sneaks a picture of me. Twitter would have a field day if they could see you right now,” Jamal jokes, pointing at Jude’s outfit; the younger’s pink sunglasses complimented by a large sunhat.
They make it to the plane in time and when they take off Jude leans over to Jamal “Does it sound bad that I’m really grateful for this year’s Euros, even if they weren’t that great for our teams? Because I’m really happy were talking again,” he says.
Jamal smiles. “No, I feel the same way.”
Under the surface Jamal is still a little bit angry at the younger man, but just one look into Jude’s eyes melts away all of his resolves to talk about things. Jude has that effect on him. But Jamal has grown up and it will take more than this friendly act for him to fall back into the enigma that is Jude Bellingham.
So he goes along with Jude’s playful and flirty banter for the duration of their flight, but resolves that he will force Jude to have a serious talk about everything that happened once they’re in the privacy of their house.
They arrive at the house early in the morning and Jamal immediately feels his spirits lifted. He loves this place so much. He’s come back with his family every year since 2020 and it’s become a second home to him. The private beach right outside of their backyard, the small pool, the palm trees: It’s simply perfect.
Jude seems to agree, and they spend the morning relaxing by the pool, acting like everything is normal between them. They order some groceries to be delivered to their porch. It turns out that, very much to Jamal’s surprise, Jude has become a decent cook over the course of the past years. He makes them homemade pasta for lunch, while Jamal creeps around the kitchen and tries to offer his help, which Jude keeps denying. When the food actually tastes amazing, Jamal is even more surprised.
“Who are you and what have you done to Jude Bellingham?” he asks jokingly and Jude just shrugs in reply. “People change,” he says simply. They really do, Jamal thinks.
Jude seems fully comfortable around him now, and Jamal learns that four years of close to no contact are a long time. Yes, they talked on the phone a lot for the last few weeks, but there are so many new quirks and habits of Jude’s that Jamal only discovers now. Like how Jude can cook now. How he’s gotten amazing at chess, and Jamal no longer stands a chance against him, when he used to beat him with ease.
“I always play with some of my friends in Madrid,” Jude explains, when Jamal confronts him about it. Or how his music taste has done a full 180, English rap now replaced by American hip-hop.
But then it inevitably gets awkward again.
-
They’re out in the afternoon sun by the pool and Jude pulls out some sunscreen. Jamal knows that Jude has a scar on his back that he needs to put it on as it turns out that scars burn easily. Jude has had it since they were kids, something left over from a nasty fall of a bike when he was younger. But there is no way he can reach that spot on his back by himself. When he notices Jamal’s eyes on him, Jude shrugs.
“The team doctors at Madrid have been on my ass about it. Apparently it’s a risk for skin cancer or something, could you help me out, please?”
Jamal sucks in a sharp breath. This feels dangerous. They’re both only in their swim trunks, him touching Jude’s back suddenly seems too intimate. But he can’t say that out loud, so he wordlessly takes the sunscreen from Jude and sits down next to the other man, who is lounging by the pool, his legs dangling in the water. Jamal puts some of the sunscreen on his hands, giving himself a pep-talk that it’s no big deal.
But then when he first touches Jude’s back, the other flinches. And Jamal freezes. It feels like a horrible déjà vu.
Suddenly he’s 17 again, feels just like he had when Jude first kissed him, only to then flinch away, a disgusted look on his face. Jamal’s heart shatters in his chest, and for a split-second he feels like crying. But then anger begins to rise in his chest. He puts the sunscreen away and looks straight at Jude.
“Seriously?” Jamal says quietly.
Jude doesn’t look at him, eyes still fixed at the pool.
“Are you still not over that? Do you still think I’m disgusting for loving who I love?”
Jamal is getting angrier and angrier with every second that Jude doesn’t acknowledge him. “Look at me, damn it,” he says and his voice breaks. Jude finally lifts his eyes and fixes them onto Jamal’s.
“Don’t say that. I never thought you were disgusting,” he says earnestly and Jamal scoffs, walking back to the lounge chairs in the shade.
Jude follows him and sits down next to him. Jamal still feels like he’s about to explode. Years of pent up anger and hurt seem to burst out of him.
“Oh, you didn’t? Because it fucking felt like it, Jude. I was a teenager, I was scared out of my mind that you would out me. Oh, don’t look at me like that. What else was I supposed to think? My best friend, my only real friend, completely iced me out of his life because of a stupid kiss? That I didn’t even start? And then you embarrassed me in front of that entire youth national team. Don’t you think I deserve an apology for that, Jude?”
Jude buries his face in his hands for a second, before looking back up at Jamal.
“You’re right. I’m so sorry for everything. I truly am. I wish I could go back in time and talk to younger me, stop myself from making all of those stupid mistakes,” he says helplessly. “Believe me, I would give everything to change that day at your house in Munich, and how I reacted afterwards. But I can’t.”
Jamal feels a bit appeased, sensing that Jude is being earnest.
“You can’t. But I also did stupid things when we were younger. I can forgive that. I just…I just need an explanation, Jude,” Jamal says. He knows that Jude must also be mad at him. The whole mess started when Jamal ignored him for a year, just because he couldn’t deal with his own sexuality. Not to mention that Jamal had blocked any attempt at making up that Jude had made for the last three years.
Jude sighs and nods. “Okay,” he says, seemingly unsure where to start. But then he takes a deep breath and looks at Jamal.
“I’m bi. And I’m not gonna lie, this is the first time I’m saying that out loud to anyone. Feels kind of good and scary at the same time,” Jude smiles tentatively.
“But yeah, I’m bisexual. And it took me a long, long time to come to terms with that. I don’t think my mum would be very happy about it, to be honest, and I’m not sure about my dad either. They always made all sorts of comments about gay people and gay marriage when I was younger…How it’s not natural. Not that I’m trying to put the blame on them. I know I’m responsible for my own actions, but I think it’s part of why I acted the way I did,” Jude explains, his eyes continuously on Jamal’s trying to gauge his reactions.
Jude sighs and continues to speak.
“Jamal, when I realized I liked boys I was terrified. I genuinely thought I would take that secret to my grave. Especially because you suddenly ignored me, when you moved to Munich. I thought I had done something to give myself away, that you thought I was gross. You have no idea how relieved I was when I stayed with you that summer. That you welcomed me back in.”
“And then you came out to me and I thought that maybe it was possible, that everything would turn out to be okay. I thought you were so brave. But then you made all those jokes about how you weren’t into me, that you’d never date me. I remember how you kept calling me bro, it just made me so angry. That’s why I didn’t think twice about it when I kissed you. I just…just wanted you to see me as a real man.”
Jude looks almost embarrassed at his confession, but when Jamal clears his throat, wanting to interrupt him, Jude shushes him and keeps talking.
“Not just your childhood friend you could joke about dating, but someone you’d actually want to date. But then you kissed me back and I fucking freaked out. It just confirmed it all to me, that I wasn’t normal. That I was actually into men and I just wasn’t ready to accept that. I was scared I forced myself onto you. I thought there was something wrong with me, that the way I wanted you was wrong and disgusting… but Jamal, I never thought that about you. I promise. Only ever about myself. I always thought that you were…,” Jude breathlessly finishes him ramble “…special.”
“Only in the best way. And I’m sorry that seventeen-year-old me was really bad with dealing with his emotions. I tried so hard to be normal…whatever that means. I truly tried, with so many different girls, but the issue wasn’t that they were girls. It was that they weren’t you. I’m so, so sorry that I ever hurt you. I know that there’s no excuses for how I acted, Jamal, but I was just really scared.”
Jude nervously musters Jamal’s face as he finishes his speech. Jamal is slowly registering everything his friend just said. Eventually he just gets up and pulls Jude into a bone-crushing hug. Jude carefully wraps his arms around him, still nervous, but not flinching back this time.
“Are you still scared, Jude?” Jamal whispers into Jude’s ear, enjoying the goosebumps he feels forming on Jude’s skin, now that he knows they’re not because he’s feeling uncomfortable.
He hears Jude swallow hard. “Yes,” Jude replies quietly. “Terrified, actually. But not of you, not of this. Not anymore,” he adds, pulling back from Jamal slightly. His face is only a few inches away now.
Jude’s eyes flicker down to his lips, and while 17-year-old Jamal was too scared to take the hint, 21-year-old Jamal isn’t. “Good,” he says, smiling as he leans even closer, tilting his head. “Because I would really hate it if you ran away again.” And with that Jamal’s lips crash onto Jude’s.
It’s clumsy at first, just like their first kiss, as they’re both incredibly nervous and it shows. They’re tense and unsure, but eventually Jude lets out a soft noise and Jamal feels encouraged. His hands find their way into Jude’s hair as he pulls himself onto his lap. Jude starts taking the lead, his tongue gently swiping against Jamal’s lips, which happily invite him in. Jude’s hands find a place on Jamal’s lower back and Jamal revels in the feeling of Jude’s big hands on his body. For the first time they allow themselves to enjoy each other’s presence.
It’s better than anything Jamal has ever imagined, and god has he imagined. In the quiet hours of the night, when he could forget what Jude had done afterwards, he had always come back to their first kiss. The way Jude’s body had fit perfect against his. The way Jude’s soft lips had felt on his own.
After a few minutes they pull apart, out of breath, and Jamal can’t help but let out a relieved laugh. “We should have done this years ago,” he says, amazed by the fact that HE is the one who made Jude Bellingham look like this. Lips red and swollen, eyes glossy. “We’ve got enough years to make up for it,” Jude replies, pulling Jamal closer again.
“And for the record, I still really like you. As more than a friend, if that wasn’t clear,” Jude adds, his hands gently drawing circles on Jamal’s back. Jamal feels a burst of happiness and leans closer again, pressing a peck to Jude’s lips. “I sure hope you do, after you just kissed me like that,” Jamal jokes. “But for the record, I really like you too. Always have.”
It feels too good to be true, Jamal thinks. Almost like he is high on his own personal drug.
But this time he never comes down from the high. His world doesn’t crash down and burn, like it had the last time he kissed Jude. They spend the rest of the week all over each other, always touching, always smiling and laughing. Sure, they have some serious conversations too, like how Jude is still terrified to come out to his parents, or anyone else for that matter, but soft kisses in the sun and ice cream dates make up for it.
Jamal is not ready for their time to come to an end, for reality to catch up to their bliss. But then his family arrives, and Jude leaves. He waits for them to get there first, though, still kissing Jamal goodbye in front of Jamal’s mum and Jamal is proud. So proud.
His mum simply hugs him closely once they’re alone. “Jude looks at you like you’re his whole world. I’m glad you worked things out with him. What the two of you have has always been special,” she whispers in his ear, and Jamal just smiles. “Yeah, I’m glad too.”
And for the first time since he realized that he likes Jude, Jamal feels like everything might actually work out in their favor.
September 2024: Madrid
They call each other constantly. Any second they aren’t working, they are on a call together, laughing and chatting about whatever comes up.
Jamal feels himself fall more and more for Jude, now that he finally has him. Jude isn’t afraid to acknowledge that there is more than friendship between them anymore, and it drives Jamal insane. Every chance he gets, Jude compliments him. “You look cute when you’ve just woken up,” simply makes Jamal blush. But when Jude says “You’re so hot like that,” when Jamal picks up the video call shirtless and with wet hair after a shower, Jamal thinks he might die on the spot.
So Jude actually likes him. And not just that, he wants him too. It feels surreal. Eventually they miss each other so much, that Jamal spontaneously books himself a flight to Madrid. He takes a private plane this time. No one needs to know where he’s going. They’ve only got two days before Jamal will have to return to Munich, but it still seems worth it. Even if it’s just to be able to kiss Jude again.
When he arrives at Jude’s house, brown eyes meet each other, and immediately all worries disappear from Jamal’s mind. Jude pulls him into a tight hug and neither of them let go for what feels like ages. When they finally do, Jamal presses a quick kiss on the other’s lips. “I missed you,” he says. “I missed you more,” Jude replies, a gentle smile ghosting his lips.
They settle down on the couch, legs entangled and enjoy each other’s company. They talk about how the start of the season went, and how Jude can’t stand the hot Spanish weather. It’s lighthearted and comfortable.
“I came out to my parents yesterday.” Jude says suddenly. It’s out of nowhere, and Jamal widens his eyes in shock. “How did it go?” he asks cautiously. “Better than I expected,” Jude replies. “I don’t think they believe me about being bi though. I’m pretty sure they think I just said that to soften the blow of me liking men.”
Jamal chuckles, “Yeah, I can see that. But they were fine with it? Are you okay?” he asks, concerned at how calm Jude seems. “I’m okay. I waited until yesterday to tell them, because I knew I’d feel better once you got here, no matter how they would’ve reacted,” Jude says quietly, looking vulnerable. Jamal can’t help himself and crawls over to him, cuddling up to Jude, wanting to comfort him.
“But hey, they actually took it quite well. Only asked me if I was sure approximately a million times. My dad told me it would ruin my career if anyone ever finds out, but I was expecting that. And my mum asked me about every girl I ever exchanged more than two words with, why I wouldn’t try to date her,” Jude adds, exhaling shakily, but leans into Jamal’s touch.
“I told them that you were my boyfriend. I hope that was okay?” Jude says, after a moment of quiet. He looks a bit nervous and Jamal feels giddy. Boyfriend. The word sound strange in his mind, he’d never even dared to think it. “Of course it is,” Jamal says, “and as your boyfriend I am very, very proud of you.”
Jude leans down to capture Jamal’s lips, and they get lost in each other for a while. “I was so scared,” Jude murmurs eventually, “but I’m also so happy you’re finally mine.”
Jamal can’t believe that this is his life, as Jude slowly starts to press little kisses along his jawline, down to Jamal’s neck, his hands playing with Jamal’s shirt. Their eyes lock and Jamal can read the question Jude is trying to ask, so he nod enthusiastically. With that Jude takes Jamal’s shirt off and continues to kiss him. Slowly, more and more pieces of clothing follow, and Jamal thinks that if this is what it feels like to be with Jude, all the pain was worth it.
August 2026: Italy
“Which one is better? This one or that one,” Jude asks as he swipes on his phone, showing Jamal two almost identical pictures.
Jamal laughs at that, knowing his boyfriend’s nerves aren’t really due to finding the perfect picture. “Either one is fine, babe” He says reassuringly, his thumb moving in small circles across Jude’s shoulder as he cuddles into him. The pet name rolls of Jamal’s tongue. It’s become a habit by now, but he still feels giddy about it after a whole year. He really gets to call this gorgeous man his boyfriend. “Don’t overthink it.”
Jude looks at him for comfort. “I’m scared,” he says quietly. Jamal nods in response. “Me too. We don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to.”
Jude vehemently shakes his head. “No, I want to,” he says reassuringly, confidence audible in his voice. Jamal watches as Jude opens Instagram, selecting one of the two pictures he just showed Jamal.
It’s a simple shot they took earlier that day. Their hands next to each other, fingers intertwined. No one would know whose hand Jude is holding without context. All there is to see, are two male hands holding each other and the beach in the background.
They’re in Sicily again, and it feels like a full circle moment. This is where Jamal first came out to his family, 17 and terrified that it would change everything. This is where he and Jude finally talked it out, after years of anger and miscommunication. And now, this is where they’ll make it public.
Jude tags Jamal in the picture and adds the simple caption “Love you”. His thumb now hovers over the post button, as he looks at Jamal for confirmation. “Ready?” Jude says, his voice shaking slightly. Jamal smiles at him brightly. “Ready!”
And with that Jude presses post.
He’s barely put his phone away when Jamal’s lips are on his already. “I am so proud of you,” Jamal whispers against his boyfriend’s lips between heated kisses. “So fucking proud.” Jude smiles into the kiss. “I can’t believe we just did that,” he giggles breathlessly.
They don’t check their phones for a few hours. They know they must be all the internet is talking about, but they can forget about that for a little while. After all they’re alone, in a massive house in Italy. They’ve got better things to do than worry about what other people are saying. Most of those things involve the massive king sized bed in their room.
Later that day Jude is leaving small kisses on Jamal’s neck, the two of them entangled on the couch, the TV playing in the background. Jamal decides to finally break the tension. “Want to check out the comments?”
Jude inhales nervously. He’s always had a harder time dealing with his sexuality than Jamal, been even more scared to be found out due to the values he grew up with. But he’s changed over the course of the last year, found a new sense of confidence and pride in his relationship with Jamal. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
The responses are more positive than they expected. Of course there are some homophobic trolls, but most of the comment section is filled with love and rainbows. Their teammates, most of whom knew already, are congratulating them and fans are telling them how brave they are and how cute they look together.
Jamal lets out a relieved sigh and smiles at his boyfriend, whose eyes are slightly tearing up as he continues to read through the comments under his post, chuckling at their friend’s responses. Levi’s joking comment about wanting to steal Jude’s man is one of the most liked ones, along with Flo’s, Thomas Müller’s and many of Jude’s Madrid teammates comments, who are all sending their support.
“Alright there?” Jamal asks cautiously.
“More than alright,” Jude smiles, pulling Jamal into a tight hug. “God, I wish I could tell younger me that everything is going to work out just fine” He murmurs into Jamal’s ear. Jamal smiles. “Yeah…everything is fine. Everything is great, to be honest,” he says and leans down to capture his boyfriend’s lips in a kiss. Jude kisses him back immediately, a new fire behind his actions. “Finally,” he says breathlessly. “I love you so damn much, you know that?”
Jamal grins, too happy to have a care in the world. “Love you more.”