Work Text:
Minghao turned uncomfortably in bed as he heard what seemed to be his cell phone distantly ringing.
The boy reached his hand out from under the soft hotel blanket, blindly groping the furniture next to the bed until he found his cell phone, which was ringing with the irritating tone of a call.
Junhui gegè flashed on the screen and Minghao moaned in dissatisfaction, picking up the call and closing his eyes again, the shining screen giving him a headache for some reason.
Minghao knew there was something wrong when he put his cell phone on his ear, feeling how sweaty his face was.
“Hello?” The boy’s voice sounded hoarse, his throat dry.
“Hi! Did you just wake up?!”
Junhui’s voice sounded too energetic to be awake this early.
But Minghao could see through the closed windows the sunlight.
Minghao frowned and took his cell phone out of his ear to check what time it was, widening his eyes and kicking the blankets off when he saw that it was already past eight in the morning.
“Oh, shit! I’m sorry, gegè, I overslept.” Minghao tried to get up from the bed, but it was like his legs were jelly. the boy falling sat on the bed again.
Minghao sighed exhausted.
They got in the hotel after yesterday's concert at two in the morning, and Minghao could sleep just at four after having dinner and showering.
He is exhausted.
They have been working like crazy, practicing for hours without any break, preparing for the comeback and making a hundred concerts, managing to keep up the whole day after sleeping for a maximum of three hours per night. Jeonghan barely could end yesterday’s concert because of how tired he was, the new comeback was making Joshua question his talent, Woozi was working like a lunatic, Seungcheol was working even more to make up for the time he spent away from the group and Minghao wondered how he hasn't collapse yet.
Minghao was never known as someone who has energy or a good immune system, and seems like his luck just came to an end because he was genuinely feeling like dying right now.
He couldn't be sick now. They have a concert tonight.
“It’s okay, Baobei.” Junhui’s voice also sounded tired, but all of them were and it was clear. “We are having breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant. Come here to eat with us.”
“Hm~ I will be there in five. Sorry.”
“Right. I’m waiting for you.”
Minghao just murmured in agreement and when Junhui turned off the call, the boy sighed, forcing his legs to work and bring him to the bathroom.
Looking at the mirror, Minghao frowned after seeing that he looked pale but his cheeks were extremely red like he was embarrassed, which it was not the case, and even Minghao got surprised when he touched his face and found that his body temperature was much higher than it should be.
“I can't believe it…” Murmured to himself in a breath of voice, flinching when he noticed how cold the room was.
Minghao wanted to cry.
They still have one last concert in Incheon today and then they will have a break.
He has to handle it for tonight. Then, if he still feels sick, he could tell the members.
But not now. Not when everyone is struggling and everyone is exhausted.
Stumbling over to his suitcase lying half open on the bedroom floor, Minghao was as fast as he could changing his clothes, almost feeling relieved when he found a fever medicine that Jeonghan gave him when the boy got sick last month.
Minghao swallowed two pills with a grimace, heading back to the bathroom to wash his face before putting on the first shoe he found, leaving the room to meet up with the members.
He regretted and wanted to go back to his room when he first opened the door and got hit by the cold weather, feeling his legs weakly failing.
Stupid body.
Stupid body.
Stupid body.
Why was he feeling so sick?
Maybe it is how he has been having trouble sleeping besides the fact that they have no time to sleep. Maybe it was how he is overworking. Maybe it is the never ending dance practice. Maybe it is how he hasn't been eating enough. Maybe it was just how his body naturally gets easily sick and tired.
Minghao didn't know, but he wanted to cry.
He shouldn't be sick! It's not cold outside, it's actually hot in good weather! Maybe he is not even sick but his body got warm since he has the habit to sleep completely underneath the blankets.
Minghao brushed his hair with his finger before finally managing to leave the hallway of his hotel room and go down to the first floor, where the restaurant was located, feeling the medicine slowly start to take effect.
Right when the Chinese entered through the restaurant door, he could see the members on the long table close to the wall, and Minghao walked to the buffet to take some food.
It looked good. There were a lot of options of foods and, on normal days, Minghao would be looking at everything wondering what he should eat.
But today he just felt nauseous, but he knew that he wouldn’t make it through the day if he skipped breakfast.
Minghao sat next to Vernon with a cup of coffee and a plate with some fruits and toasts.
“Good morning.” Minghao said to all of them. It was kinda sad to see how all of them – even the BSS – were silent and with a tired look, but Minghao couldn’t blame them.
The youngest Chinese drank a little bit of his coffee, lying his head down on Vernon’s shoulder and closing his eyes.
Minghao thinks he could have went back to sleep if it wasn’t for the American saying:
“Damn, hyung! You are burning.”
The oldest blinked a few times, bringing his hand to feel his skin. The medicine seemed to help but if Vernon could feel it even with his shirt between Minghao’s cheek and Vernon’s shoulder, then he must still have his body temperature too high.
“Are you okay?!”
“Mhm…” Murmured, getting his face out of the second maknae’s shoulder. “You know I sleep below the blankets, that must have made my body warm.”
Vernon kept an awkward look at his hyung like if he was wondering if Minghao was really fine, and if he should tell Seungcheol about it, but he seemed to forget about this when the Chinese gave him a tranquilizing smile.
Minghao is older than him. He should be able to tell if he is feeling sick. Minghao knows better than anyone that hiding a sickness from the members is never a good idea.
🌙
Minghao desperately wants to cry.
This whole day has been a hell for the boy. The fever passed still in the morning, which made Minghao sure that his feeling of sickness was because he could sleep just for four hours after an exhausting day, and he was fine! He really was and could pass through the morning practice and sound check without any big problem except for the times he felt tired and he got one or another choreography wrong.
Those were mistakes that everyone was making today, and the members that didn’t get anything wrong were so tired that a five minute break turned into a five minute nap sitting on the floor backstage.
Everything seemed too much when the concert started.
The uncomfortable and fancy clothes made Minghao feel so hot that once or twice during the first section of the concert he felt his vision black, and he thought he would pass out.
When the first section of the concert ended with ‘Rock With You’, Minghao could barely get to the backstage before feeling his legs fail, and he would have fallen on the ground if it wasn’t for Soonyoung wrapping his arms around Minghao’s waist.
“We have the Unit songs now.” Hoshi said as he took the earpiece out of the younger boy's ear. The members were practically running to change clothes and before Minghao could even notice, a staff member was in front of him to touch up his makeup. “Change your clothes and sit a little bit. The Vocal Unit performs before us.”
“Right.” Minghao said breathlessly, waiting patiently for the staff to finish his makeup before tripping to his bag, fastly putting one more pill on his mind and swallowing it up dry, running to change his clothes.
He just performed six songs! Sure, Minghao is not someone with a lot of energy especially after being deprived of his sleep but he has been an idol for almost ten years and could barely handle six songs?!
Minghao touched his neck with the back of his hand, and he couldn’t know if it was hot because the fever was back or because it was hot outside and their choreography was so intense.
The clothes for the Performance Unit songs are a little more fresh than the clothes for the first section and Minghao couldn’t be more grateful for that, feeling a little relieved when the gentle breeze hit him.
Minghao sat next to Mingyu to watch – more like ‘listen’ while resting for a few minutes – the Vocal Unit performance, and the gentle hand caressing his thigh made the Chinese boy take a deep breath, calmly.
Minghao closed his eyes. Suddenly, the voices of the vocalists of the groups seemed distant, the calm song perfuring through his ears…
No.
Minghao opened his eyes, fastly blinking to push the sleep away.
Exhausted.
Before Minghao could even notice, Chan was holding his hand and pulling Minghao to his place. Minghao couldn’t even hear when the Vocal Unit performance ended, but he wanted to cry, knowing that now he would be on the spotlight for more than he usually does, since there is just four members on his Unit, what means Minghao has a lot of more lines in the songs than he usually have with the whole group.
He just hopes his appearance looks good now.
Minghao sighed and fastly drank a water bottle before the Performance started.
If he collapses after the concert, fine, but now he would have to make it. He can’t disappoint the fans at the last concert in Incheon.
Minghao doesn't care if he is breathless, or if, for the next songs, he started feeling like he was going between conscious and unconscious in a weird feeling that Minghao couldn’t explain. He doesn't care that he feels his mouth dry. He doesn’t care that, at the same time he feels so cold, he was sweating like it was a hundred degrees outside.
He needs to hold his own for this concert at least.
It was in the middle of the song ‘Back 2 Back’ that Minghao started feeling water on his face.
But wait, it isn’t raining…
Minghao frowned and did his best to clean his tears without bringing attention to him before his part started.
Is he exhausted to the point he started crying without even noticing?
It was just the second section of the concert.
“Myungho-ah.” Jeonghan called as soon as the Performance Unit got on the backstage, Hip-Hop Unit performing now. “Why were you crying?” The second oldest of the group asked with worries. Back 2 Back isn’t exactly a sad song, why would the boy be crying?
Minghao sighed, putting his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder in a silent request for a hug. Happily, Jeonghan got his intention, wrapping his arm around the youngest boy’s body.
“I’m so tired…” Jeonghan hummed in understanding, caressing Minghao’s hair calmly.
“I know you are.” Nodded because yes, he knows damn well that Minghao is totally exhausted now because he also is, but there is nothing that he could actually do except on trying their best to use the right amount of the energy to manage to get through the concert without ending up in a collapse right on the stage. “I’m sorry.”
“I have to change my clothes.” The foreigner murmured and Jeonghan hesitated before letting the boy get out of his hug, following him with his eyes as Minghao rushed to change his clothes for the next section of the song.
Minghao closed his eyes and took a deep breath while the makeup artists touched up the makeup that melted with the few tears Minghao let fall during his performance.
He feels so exhausted.
It has to be the hardest concert Minghao ever made, and he performed before right after getting better from breaking his collarbone!
Minghao opened his eyes again when he felt someone pulling him by his arm, forcing Minghao to rush to go back to the stage – again, he couldn’t even notice when the Hip-Hop Unit ended their performance and that made him wonder if he has passed out for those few seconds – or minutes – that he closed his eyes.
“Myungho.”
Minghao frowned, blinking a few times to focus his vision. The voice sounded distant in his ears and it was hard to recognise the voice.
“Myungho.” The person called again and Minghao was able to murmur anything to show the member that he was listening. “Your hands are shaking.”
“Ah…” It was all that he could answer to Mingyu, looking at his own hands and oh, Mingyu is right. He was shaking as if he was freezing.
Mingyu gave him a worried stare but he was forced to leave his worries about his younger member behind when Home;Run started playing.
Listening to the screams coming from the public together with the loud song playing, Minghao felt like there was an acute ‘pii…’ on his ears, and Minghao had to really control himself to not let out a painful moan get out of his mouth.
‘It’s for the Carats’ Minghao kept repeating for himself, in his mind, almost like a mantra.
It’s for the Carats.
He feels exhausted, on the verge of a collapse and if he was still doing the choreographies and singing, it was a totally muscular memory because he doesn’t feel like he is totally conscious.
It was on the fourth section of the concert that Minghao really felt like he was on his limit, as if he couldn’t really handle anymore.
He is so tired.
He just wants to sleep. No more practices for a day or two. Not showing up in public. Sleeping for more than three hours per night. Actually having some meal instead of skipping meals because, on his lunch time, he has been preferring to rest instead of eating something.
Just that!
It’s not asking for too much, is it?
He just wishes the company would stop pushing the members to their limits, stop making them work until the point they get a serious injury.
When Minghao kneeled down for the ‘Good To Me’ choreography, right on the chorus, Minghao felt his vision going black for a few seconds, the constant noise on his ear getting out like his earpiece was short circuiting, even though he knew it wasn’t.
Minghao closed his eyes, lowering his head, unable to totally keep with the choreography even when he was giving his best.
Exhausted.
Minghao tried to follow with the choreography, he really did, but for a few seconds the lights seemed too shiny, the noises too loud, his vision too blurry, his body too weak.
He felt on the verge of a collapse.
Minghao felt a soft tap being left on his back, and when he looked to his side, Junhui was giving him a worried but tranquilizer smile, almost like he was saying ‘we are close to the end of the concert, just hold on for a few more minutes’, and Minghao put his mic to the side to take some deep breaths.
Just a few more songs.
He has to handle it.
The fact that the ment was right after Good To Me should make Minghao feel relieved, because it means a few minutes of resting before the ‘Hot’ performance, and then the last section of the concert.
For Minghao it meant the opposite.
The second ‘Good To Me’ performance ended, Woozi discreetly gave Minghao a small oxygen mask when he noticed that the youngest boy was too panting, thinking he was just out of breath, and Minghao could just silently accept, desperate for a way to make him feel at least a little better.
He couldn’t, and not even the oxygen mask could help him to feel any better.
Minghao felt desperately tired.
🌙
Wonwoo has been keeping an eye on Minghao since the second section of the concert ended, when the Chinese boy stumbled backstage and Hoshi had to hold him for a few seconds.
Sure, he knows Minghao is not someone exactly energetic but something about how he seemed about to pass out worried Wonwoo.
All the members were sat on a platform similar to stairs to make their speech, and Minghao being sat one step down Wonwoo gives him the perfect angle to look at Minghao from behind, a step higher than the Performance Unit member.
So the Hip-Hop Unit member catched the way Minghao’s hands were shaking too much when he pressed the oxygen mask against his mouth. Wonwoo could notice how Minghao’s back and shoulders were going up and down as if it was hard to breathe. He also saw how Minghao's body was swaying as if he was dizzy and that made Wonwoo attentive, leaning in to be closer to Minghao in case something happened.
And when Minghao’s body finally gave up, a low painful moan being heard from his microphone, the boy would have fallen down the step he was sitting in together with the oxygen mask on his hand if it wasn’t for Wonwoo’s reflex, the oldest being fast on holding Minghao’s arm and pulling the boy’s limp body close to his, looking around confused about what happened to him, what made the boy simply and suddenly pass out.
The members finally seemed to notice when the public started to scream Myungho’s name.
“Come on, Hao…” Wonwoo murmured after removing his and Minghao’s mic. “Wake up…” At this point, all the members were close to the boy giving him an extremely worried and confused stare but trying to cover Minghao’s body from the Carats. They don’t think any of them would like to have pictures of Minghao’s passed out, and Seungcheol would have runned backstage with the boy in his arms if he could, but the platform they were in is too high to get down with an unconscious boy.
Giving a better look at the youngest Chinese boy, they wondered how they didn't notice that he was collapsing before.
Minghao was looking extremely pale, like all the color on his skin got sucked, sweat was dripping from his forehead, his face was contorted into a painful expression and his body was shaking so badly.
A tired moan broke between Minghao’s lips before he slowly started to open his eyes and damn, the way his pupils seemed dilated and the boy confusedly tried to look around made some of the members gasp.
“Hao…” Junhui whispered, getting closer to the confused boy. All the noise seemed confusing on Minghao’s ears, mixed, but the boy managed to look at Jun after a few seconds. “I’m sorry for rushing you but we have to get you out of there, do you think you can get up?”
“What…?” Minghao answered confusedly, his mind taking a lot of time to understand what was happening, why was he… lying down? with blinding lights in front of his eyes, a lot of screams that Minghao couldn’t really understand and the members looking at him worriedly.
Before Minghao could really understand what happened, he felt someone pulling his arms and obliging the boy to get up – Minghao couldn’t understand who it was, but he just followed confusedly –, it was a surprise for him that he could stand but he needed someone holding his body, walking him to somewhere.
“What…?” Minghao managed to ask again after a moment and he thinks that someone answered.
No, he thinks that a few people answered because suddenly he was in a darker place than the stage – the backstage? An ambulance? Bathroom? – and there were a lot of people that the dazed boy couldn’t recognise.
Was he sleeping? Why does everything seem so blurry?
A cold hand holding his arms to help Minghao to sit on the sofa was enough to make Minghao even more sick, and before he could notice he was throwing up the few things he ate during the day.
“Chan, Seokmin, go back to the stage.” Their manager said with a firm tone as the two Seventeen members could just watch as Minghao seemed about to pass out again, no strength left on his body as tears went down his face nonstop.
“Hyung, we need to stay here for him.”
“Everything is chaotic outside.” He stopped Seokmin. “We called the ambulance.”
The boys hesitated to do that, especially after seeing the way that the staff had laid Minghao on the ground, an oxygen mask was pressed against his face, but hearing the way the fans were screaming and the members were trying really hard to control the situation convinced them to get back, trusting that the staffs could take good care of their boy.
“The boy passed out again.” They heard a staff member murmuring to another person and looked at each other wordly.
What happened to his member?
🌙
“Burnout Syndrome.”
“What is this?” Minghao asked groggy to Seungcheol.
He just got out of the hospital and everything seemed confused in his mind. The manager who brought him back to the hospital after getting some medicines and all of them were in Minghao’s room, their manager letting Minghao sleep in the car and trusting the leader to explain to Minghao what happened in the hours that he was out.
“Means your body is so exhausted and stressed that it collapsed.” Seungkwan explained with a frown, clearly mad – maybe not with Minghao specifically, maybe with the company that has been overworking them, or with the whole world, or actually with Minghao for hiding that he has been feeling sick.
“Oh…” The boy murmured, staring at the blankets. Suddenly he felt too pressured about having 12 pairs of eyes on him. “I’m sorry…”
“You hid from us that you weren’t fine.” Jeonghan accused, not giving him space to deny. “You hid that you had a fever this morning. Vernon told us when the manager called us from the hospital.”
“We could have avoided this.” Woozi completed and Minghao sighed and nodded, closing his eyes as he rested his back against the bed headboard.
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
Minghao tried to swallow the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, but it seems that he didn't do a good job of it because his voice sounded sad and the members relaxed their postures, approaching the boy who was sitting on the bed with his head down.
“Oh, Hao. I’m sorry, we are just worried. We didn’t mean to make you cry.” Minghao nodded to Mingyu, accepting when the boy held his head against his chest, caressing his hair calmly.
He knows they don’t mean to hurt him but Minghao is so exhausted and feeling so ashamed about how he acted in the concert, and now he also feels guilt for worrying the members and hiding from them what he was feeling. All of those feelings just seemed too much for his overloaded mind to deal with, because suddenly he was a sob mess against Mingyu’s body.
“I know.” Minghao cried. “I just… I feel so exhausted and… And I thought I was just tired, I didn’t think it was this serious, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry. We talked about it with you in the wrong way. I’m sorry.” Joshua caressed his back. “We just… We got worried that you suddenly passed out, and then you threw up and passed out again, and the doctor told the manager that you collapsed and we were all thinking the worst had happened.”
“We can’t change what happened so let’s just forget. It’s all in the past.” Seokmin carefully cleaned Minghao’s tears.
“Let’s order some food and sleep, right? We are going back home tomorrow and then you can rest.” The maknae approached Minghao with a smile, bringing hos hyung’s body to his arm and tightly hugging him while the other members decided they would order, ending with fast food – it was hard to find better restaurants open at four in the morning.
During the night with the members, Minghao wondered how he overworked himself to the point that the boy couldn’t notice how bad he was feeling until the point that his body gave up, but Seokmin is right, unfortunately he couldn’t change all the situation that happened today, so he could just from now on be more careful with his health and his limits – and for any instance, his members won’t ever let him become careless when it comes to his health again, all of them more than happy to take good care of the boy.