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Louis desperately missed Lestat.
He missed the fierce, boastful man that the blond had been. He missed the ill mannered jesting and the shrill, hysterical giggle, that Lestat always seemed to let out at the most inappropriate of moments. He missed the way Lestat would move about gracefully in his velvet and ruffles, looking as though he were floating through the air.
The hardest part was that Lestat was still there. Physically at least.
Louis’ maker had been vastly different since Akasha’s abduction of him. His avoidance of the rest of the coven, his silence, the vacant expression that so often plagued his face- it all horrified Louis. Marius had told him not to fret over Lestat, that the brat would be fine in the end, that he was truly immortal and durable.
Louis could not accept that response. He could not accept that his lover would be suffering in silence all on his own, but it was all okay, all the blond needed to do was pull himself up by his boot straps. Louis abhorred Marius’ aloof attitude, as well as the sentiments of the others, towards his tortured lover.
They clearly did not know Lestat as well as he did. Louis knew that this would not be a slow, sorrowful process. He knew that sooner or later, Lestat would burst out of his agonizing head space, and when he did, it would likely be at the price of causing harm to himself. It absolutely horrified Louis.
It had been weeks since the regicide of Akasha, and still Lestat struggled to speak to him. Whenever they were together, the most ‘talking’ that Louis could coerce Lestat into doing, was shaking or nodding his head. Although Louis supposed he should be thankful, at least now Lestat was allowing Louis to be around him again and sleep with him once more.
Lestat had grown very fond of spooning, it proved to be an excellent source of comfort and stability for him. Louis and Lestat would typically do it for a few hours each evening in relative silence, once Lestat had finished writing for the night.
One night when Lestat was the big spoon, he suddenly started weeping profusely into Louis’ back.
Louis was immediately alarmed and rolled over, taking his lover into his arms. “Stat, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He asked with concern, while petting Lestat’s blond curls.
When Lestat opened his mouth to speak, all that came out were choked sobs and gasps. He sputtered, desperately trying to vocalize his distress, but failing miserably.
Louis noted Lestat’s inability to speak. “Lestat, darling I need you to take a few deep breaths for me,” he began, before pausing. “Here baby, can you lay your head on my chest and listen to my heart beat?” He suggested after thinking for a moment.
Lestat hesitantly nodded, lowering his head onto Louis’ chest, and listening to his sweet, eternal metronome. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift off into sweet peace and oblivion, focusing on nothing but the soft, measured sounds of his lover’s heart.
Louis tenderly kissed Lestat’s forehead. “There sweetheart, let go of your troubles and relax,” he whispered.
Eventually Lestat’s sobs faded into whimpers and sniffles.Louis rubbed Lestat’s back as he hiccuped softly, attempting to force himself to speak. Lestat desperately wanted to give an explanation, to receive specific comfort from his beloved. Yet he could not will himself to speak, no matter how much he yearned to.
“It’s okay if you can’t speak, darling,” Louis said reassuringly. “Give yourself time, Lestat, give yourself grace. You do not need to rush and explain your emotions, you do not owe an explanation to me, and certainly not the rest of the coven.”
Lestat shook his head softly, futilely attempting once again at speaking his mind. When he once more found he could not form coherent vocalizations, he began fussing loudly against his lover’s chest. His nose scrunched up and his eyes pinched shut. He wiped roughly at the tears and snot in which were smeared across his face.
Louis began bouncing his frustrated beloved in his arms, seeking to console him. “Be calm, my love, for you are safe in my arms. Let us enjoy the silence and peace while we possess it. You can explain everything later, we have eternity after all.”