Chapter Text
~Mr. Holiday, sir, we've gotten some neurological readings from the young master, and they're not looking too good. He seems to have gone into a slight panic.~
"When did they start?" Holiday, the diamondback rattlesnake asked, slithering over.
~Around the time when the doors to the kitchen burst open. The panic lasted about five minutes before the ring bearer spoke to him. He also seems to be getting a slight temperature increase.~
~We're also getting some negative neural readings from the female pig. According to the recordings, she's getting frustrated because room service didn't deliver breakfast and, I quote, "how dare they treat a star like moi as if I was a nobody like that dumb bear."~
Holiday and the monitor watchers all looked at the screen that had Piggy on it, ranting away.
"What's taking room service so long? I ordered breakfast ages ago! And what kind of hotel doesn't have an en suite in their rooms?! I need to have my shower! Well, I'm most certainly not going to stay here again! This is a rotten hotel! No stars! They'll not be getting a recommendation from MOI! I AM A STAR!!" she growled in frustration and looked around for her luggage. "Who the heck took my bags?! (grrr) KERMI-IT!!"
Holiday and the watchers watched Piggy with bored expressions on their faces at her tantrum.
"So, how we doing on identifying the rest of them?" Holiday asked.
~We have identified three more, sir: Swedish Chef, Beaker and Sam Eagle.~
A blinky-light lit up at another screen and Dr. Teeth's profile came up, along with some information about him, like him being the leader of a band called The Electric Mayhem, which also listed the other members with a footnote about Clifford joining the band from time to time (this trip was one of those times).
~The young master was in a band?~
~The ring bearer has a name now: Dr. Teeth.~
"Look up the history of this band and find out how long the young master's been a part of it." Holiday said.
~Aye, sir.~
.
Piggy stormed out of her room with a green face mask on, her bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, shouting Kermit's name all the while. She stormed down the stairs, searched the hall that led to the kitchen, searched the kitchen and was about to shout Kermit's name again when she spotted her luggage. She gathered up the bags that held her make-up and her "casual" clothes and stormed back up the stairs.
"I'LL DEAL WITH YOU, FROG, AS SOON AS I FINISH WITH MY SHOWER!!" she shouted.
.
Those in the Lounge room released a breath of relief when they heard Piggy storming back up the stairs.
"I say, brother mine, do you feel what I feel? That slight tingling sensation? Yes, brother, I do. We haven't felt this kind of tingling - since forever ago. Back when we were two. Being single - just doesn't have that effect - we were known for. Shame, that. Shame indeed." Crazy Harry muttered as he looked around the rather elegant room. "You don't think this could be one of those houses, do you? Let's go find out! All the good stuff - is usually on the second floor!" and with that, Crazy Harry ran out of the room and up the stairs.
"Uh, I'm gonna go with him. It seems like he doesn't really have a lot of friends," Walter said and turned to follow after Crazy Harry.
"Don't bother, Walter, Crazy Harry talks to himself all the time. This is normal for him." Kermit said, shivering by the coffee table. He didn't want to get too close to the fire in case he dried out.
"Have you guys really tried to become Harry's friend?" Walter asked.
"He is our friend. He's here with us, ain't he?" Fozzie said, warming up by the fire.
"Kid, look, all of us are friends, but that doesn't mean we gotta spend every second with each other. There is a thing such as over-crowding a person. We all like to have our own time too," Clifford said, setting his bags down and rummaging through them to sort things out and find some dry clean clothes. Everyone else that had brought their luggage with them were doing the same, and while some had found some clean clothes, others didn't have any.
"We gotta find ourselves the laundry room. I'm down to my last set of clean clothes." Clifford said.
"Left side of the stairs, second door on the right." Zoot said. He was about to close his eyes for a little nap when he remembered he changed out of his own dirty clothes last night and left them in a pile near the cabinet, but when he locked himself in the bathroom earlier they weren't there. "Oh, which reminds me, I gotta get my own clothes." he said, and got up and headed for the archway.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Dr. Teeth asked and followed after Zoot, intent on putting him back under the covers.
"Hey Zoot, your bags are right here, but your sax is still out in the foyer." Floyd said.
"Oh, thanks," Zoot said and gathered up his bags and brought them with him as he exited the now crowded room with Dr. Teeth following him. When they exited, Teeth took a quick look around the foyer. The staircase was massive and wide with mahogany-colored carpeted steps, white rails with a gold top trim with square white marble end posts. He turned around to face the opposite of the stairs to see two windows that had their shades pulled down from the other side and a solid black space where a door should be.
'Hm, that's weird. I coulda sworn there was a glass door there. And those windows weren't covered before.' Teeth thought to himself, recalling the lightning flashing through those very windows just before everyone headed for the kitchen for breakfast. He turned back around to see where Zoot had gone and just caught sight of him disappearing down the hall on the left side of the stairs. "Hey, wait up, Zoot." he called and quickened his pace to catch up to his wandering saxophonist. He caught up to him just as they passed a door on their right.
"Second door on the right, you said?" he asked for clarification.
"Huh?" Zoot asked, stopping in his tracks and turned to Teeth with a confused look on his face.
"Uh," Teeth blanked out for a moment too, because he knew that Zoot had just lost his train of thought and would now wonder why they were in the middle of a hallway with his bags. And probably why Dr. Teeth was letting him wander around barefoot during a severe storm. They both knew that Zoot was easily prone to sickness in such weather, and that chances were higher of him getting sick if he was barefoot. "Laundry's down this way." Teeth said and nudged Zoot to continue walking. He looked further down the hall and spotted another door near the end of it. He opened it and was surprised at what he found.
It was the laundry room. The room was spacious enough to fit the whole band inside. There were the washer and dryer machines of course, cabinets/counters, a cupboard, a couple of shelves and a covered trash bin. Laundry detergent, fabric softener and dryer sheets were all on one shelf. Bleach, baking soda and a box were on the other. Above the dryer machine was a corkboard with some pictures, notes and whatnot pinned to it. There was also a small pile of clean clothes on the counter next to the dryer. Zoot climbed up onto the counter, gathered up the pile and took a deep whiff of them and hummed in content satisfaction. (Who doesn't love the smell of fresh laundry?)
Dr. Teeth wanted to ask Zoot how he knew the laundry would be exactly where he said it would be, seeing that none of the Muppets have ever been here before, but decided against it. Chances were that Zoot had probably forgotten that he even gave the directions in the first place. So instead, he said, "Well, let's throw in your clothes before we tell everyone else we found the laundry room. I want you to have plenty of clean clothes if we're gonna be here a while due to the storm." He took Zoot's bags, unzipped them and started tossing in Zoot's dirty clothes. For a guy that wasn't into too much physical activity he sure had a lot of clothes.
"Since when have we been in a storm? I don't hear any thunder or rain. Or seen any lightning for that matter." Zoot said and hopped off the counter with his clothes.
"I don't get it either. But at least you won't be so frightened by it that you wouldn't be able to explore the place." Teeth said.
"Yeah, I suppose," Zoot said in thought. "I'ma go take a shower."
"Well, lemme know when you find one. I wanna take one too."
"It's the first door in both hallways." Zoot replied, setting the door stopper with his foot and left.
"Be sure to find yourself some slippers too! I don't want you gettin' sick, man. We got a concert to do next weekend." He heard Zoot mumbling "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya," as the saxophonist left. He chuckled quietly as he added the detergent and set the washing machine to start, pushed the START button and left the laundry room to tell everyone else that it was found before checking out Zoot's claim about the other doors in the hallways. He opened the door he was currently passing and peeked in to see a bathroom, a proper bathroom. There was a toilet, a sink with a cabinet underneath, a mirror above it and a shower/tub. The shower/tub had a sliding frosted glass door. There was also a tall cabinet that had towels and such within.
"I found some house slippers in the tall cabinet." Zoot said, removing his pajama shirt.
"Alright, cool, I'm just checking out some intel. I'll let you get back to your shower." Teeth said and closed the door. He was joined up by Lips and they went around to the other side of the hall, the one that led to the kitchen, and opened the first door he passed to find another bathroom just like the one Zoot was using. They went to check the other door down the hall and found it locked.
"So how'd you know where the showers would be located?" Lips asked.
"Zoot said they were the first doors down the halls, and don't ask me how he knew. I don't think he knew himself." Dr. Teeth answered.
"Oh, one of his random knowledge moments?"
"Yeah, they come in handy sometimes, other times they're so random they make me blink out for a moment to download the new info." Dr. Teeth said and chuckled a bit. The two of them headed back to the Lounge room to gather their own bags for washing. As it was, almost everyone's bags had made it to the laundry room and stood in line at the bathroom Zoot was currently in for their turn in the showers while holding onto their last set of clean clothes. Clifford exited the Lounge room wearing his last clean set, having taken a mountain-man bath in the water-closet that Lips had shown him. Rowlf and Fozzie were in there now brushing their teeth. That room also had a little line of its own for the same purpose.
"I like the handy ones. Like that one time when you lost the keys and we were runnin' late for the Up Late Show and he hot-wired the van. We got there just in time, and then it turns out that you had your keys in your back pocket the whole time." Lips chuckled.
Dr. Teeth grumbled half-heartedly at that, even if the event was pretty funny. From then on, he always checked his pockets for his keys before leaving the house.
Zoot finished his shower, dried himself to put on his clothes and left the bathroom toweling his hair so he didn't see the long line when he exited. He kept the towel on his head but didn't let it obscure his sight as he trudged up the left side of the stairs and hung a left, another left then a right, jogged down a small hallway and turned a right again at another set of stairs and came to a stop at the top of the landing, having lost whatever was running through his head at the time.
"What did I come up here for?" he asked out loud and stood there to try and remember what he was doing. He gave that up after ten seconds before he looked around. "For that matter, where am I?"
.
~Sir, the young master is by himself now. This could be your chance to let him know his status regarding the house, sir.~
"Mr. Holiday already left to inform the young master. Why didn't you show yourself when he first came?" asked another voice.
~It's a Family Rule that we remain hidden from all non-family members to see how trustworthy they are before they're let in on all the secrets.~
~They won't learn everything all at once, however. That'd be a stupid move on our part.~
"Oh . . . Is that why I'm not told everything?"
~Yep.~
They watched as their young master trudged down the stairs to the previous floor and turned to his left to go down a long hallway, passing several doors before hanging a right and going down a short hallway and entering a random room.
"Mr. Holiday sir, the young master just entered the main library. He's still alone, sir." said the new voice.
.
Zoot pondered a moment longer on what to do before turning around and heading back down the stairs. He looked to his left to see a long hallway with several doors on both sides. The doors looked to be in an interlocking pattern. Then he looked to his right to see a not-so-long hallway, with two doors on one side and two doors on the other side. He decided to go left and walked the entire length of the hall before coming to a right turn and finding a relatively short hall with two doors on his left side, and three on his right. He walked down and entered the second door on the right and found a fairly large library. He decided to explore and see if he could find something interesting to read.
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
.
Crazy Harry didn't know what directions he took when he ran up the double-wide stairs and wandered the winding hallways, but he suddenly found himself in a quite massive library. Not as big as his old school's library, but he would bet that the information in these books would be better comprehended than his old school's books. The library was about two-story high from what he could see. He spotted a metal spiral staircase that went up to the second floor of the library, the pathway was wide enough to fit three people side by side from the rails to the books, so there was excellent traffic space should anyone decide to wander back and forth up there. There also were some pretty tall shelves that acted as walls to create a sort of maze-like corridors. He heard a door open and close and trotted down the corridor he was currently in and when he rounded the corner . . .
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
(thud)
"Zoot, are you okay?"
Crazy Harry dropped to his knees by Zoot's side and patted Zoot's cheek to rouse him. "Zoot. Zoot, wake up. Oh man, - Dr. Teeth's - gonna have our hide - if he finds you like this." Crazy Harry muttered and tapped Zoot's cheek again. When that didn't work, he tried to gently nudge him awake. "Zoot!"
Crazy Harry heard a door opening and Dr. Teeth calling out for Zoot. Panicking a little, because all the Muppets knew how protective Dr. Teeth was of Zoot, Crazy Harry quickly looked around to make sure the two of them were alone, he picked up Zoot and leaned him against his chest before performing a little trick he had up his sleeve to wake him, whispering under his breath as he did so.
"Wha- I didn't drop it." Zoot automatically said before getting his bearings.
"Maybe you shouldn't be running around in a library, Zoot." Crazy Harry said, steadying Zoot as if they had collided with each other.
"Zoot, you in here?!" shouted Dr. Teeth.
"Over here, Dr. Teeth!" Crazy Harry responded and guided Zoot back to where they could hear Dr. Teeth shouting. The first time Harry came across a stranded Zoot was back in the old Muppet Show days. He had thought that Zoot was just looking for some alone time and left him where he stood, soon he came across Dr. Teeth who was looking for Zoot and Crazy Harry didn't tell him that Zoot was just outside. What he didn't know was that Zoot was sent on a quick errand that would have taken no less than five minutes, but Zoot had forgotten what he was supposed to do the moment he walked out the door and had been standing there for twenty minutes. Normally that wouldn't have been a bad thing, but it had been raining that day and Zoot's aversion to thunder wasn't as bad as it was today, and he wound up getting sick.
Flashback --
Crazy Harry shook his umbrella to shake the rainwater off it before he entered the stage door of the theater. He reached for the doorknob to open it but his hand bumped into the chest of another. He looked up and found a soaked Zoot standing in the way with nothing to cover him from the rain.
"Hey Zoot, whatcha doin' out here?" he asked.
Zoot shrugged and didn't say anything.
"Oh, well, we'll just leave you to it then." Crazy Harry said and made his way into the building. He was running a little late for work, and if Zoot was wanting a little time for himself in the rain, he wasn't going to stop him. The theater did tend to feel stuffy on the rainy days and everybody wound up going outside for some fresh air eventually.
"Zoot!" Dr. Teeth came around the corner. "Hey, you seen Zoot?" he asked.
"Nope," Crazy Harry answered, placing down his umbrella and removing his raincoat while Dr. Teeth mumbled about checking outside to see if he made it across the street.
"There you a-- Zoot! You're soaked!" Dr. Teeth exclaimed and dragged a shivering, completely soaked Zoot back inside. He snatched Crazy Harry's raincoat and wrapped Zoot in it, rubbing his arms to warm him back up. "How long you been standing out there in the rain?" he asked.
"Uh, w-what was I s-s'pose to be d-doin'?" Zoot asked.
"You said you was gonna get us coffee," Teeth said, side-eyeing a glare at Crazy Harry, figuring that Crazy Harry must have seen Zoot on the back porch before he came in. "Come on, let's get you warmed up." he said, leading his shivering saxophonist back to their own dressing room as he began sneezing. He glared at Crazy Harry as they passed him. "I will seek my retribution, Harry." he growled lowly at the pyromaniac, who didn't take the threat as seriously as he should have.
End of Flashback --
Dr. Teeth had dragged Crazy Harry by the ear down to his old bus and duck taped him to the ceiling, letting off one of Bunsen's stink bombs, as punishment. The Mayhem had stayed the night in the theater and Zoot caught a terrible cold the following day that lasted for almost as long as it took for the stink to air out of the Mayhem bus.
On Crazy Harry's second offense ---
Flashback --
Crazy Harry was straightening his suit for his performance with Jean Stapleton. Straightening his tie, he deemed himself ready and opened his dressing room door and startled at the sound of a loud thud, an 'oof!' and a low moan. He peaked around his door to find Zoot on the ground, holding his nose . . . and Dr. Teeth was right behind the saxophonist.
"Whoa! You ok?" he asked, helping his band mate back up to his feet.
"I think so." Zoot said and moved his hands revealing a small trail of blood. "Am I bleeding?" he asked, before covering his nose again with a pained moan.
At the sight of the blood, Dr. Teeth glared at Crazy Harry and mouthed that he would seek his retribution before steering Zoot back to their own dressing room to clean him up.
End of Flashback --
--- He'd accidentally caused Zoot to slam into a door and get a bloody nose because of it. Dr. Teeth had stuffed Crazy Harry in a freezer and left him in there for two hours, sealing the freezer door with duct tape. It would have been Gonzo's mildew garden box, but neither were available that day. Which Crazy Harry was eternally grateful for.
And once he had seen Dr. Teeth punch someone in the face for making Zoot cry ---
Flashback --
Crazy Harry was on his way to the canteen for an early lunch. He wasn't really needed for today's show, so he was going to head home after he ate. Upon entering the canteen, he spotted Zoot and Dr. Teeth in line for their turn. Apprehension made its way up his spine, and he opted to wait until Zoot was sat with his lunch. He waited for nearly an entire minute before one of the rough monsters pushed their way past him and proceeded to shove the two Mayhem members out of their line and make a scathing remark against Zoot, which had clearly hurt his feelings. Enough to make the saxophonist turn back and head back into the theater.
The result of that confrontation shocked everyone in the canteen area --- Dr. Teeth had punched the monster in the jaw with a right uppercut hard enough for the monster to bite his lower lip and stumble back and made a rather foul remark against the monster and turned to go after his band mate, promising the monster that he would seek further retribution for his crime.
End of Flashback --
--- A day after that confrontation, the monster had resigned from the show. Crazy Harry never did find out what further punishment Teeth gave the monster, but he wasn’t crazy enough to ask the man. But what really convinced Crazy Harry to be wary of the Electric Mayhem band leader whenever Zoot was concerned ---
Flashback --
Crazy Harry was coming up the stairs from the canteen area and was about to open the door to the backstage area of the theater when Zoot crashed through the door and landed with a pained moan which was soon followed by a dressing room door slamming shut.
Curious but would ponder on later, Crazy Harry peaked through the busted hole in the door to see Dr. Teeth storming down the stairs with rage burning his eyes . . . that were luckily not aimed at him. He leaned back enough to peek through the wrecked door without being seen and saw Dr. Teeth stretch his long, right arm toward Kermit and wrap one large hand entirely around Kermit's neck and squeeze.
Slightly panicked at the sight of the good doctor strangling Kermit, Harry quietly tended to Zoot so as to not face Dr. Teeth's wrath again.
End of Flashback --
--- was when he saw Dr. Teeth holding Kermit in a chokehold with one hand and growling in a menacing tone, "Keep that pig away from Zoot or you'll be finding yourself a new house band, comprende?"
Crazy Harry had been curious as to which pig Dr. Teeth was talking about and what they had done to Zoot to make the Mayhem band leader attack Kermit in such a way, but he never asked, and has been making sure that Zoot was safe and sound and relatively in good health whenever he came across him alone.
'Seriously, brother, what do you suppose which pig did what to Zoot that Teeth would strangle Kermit? Kermit's the nicest frog we've ever met. I don't know, brother, but I ain't about to ask the man anytime soon.'
--------
They met up with Dr. Teeth, Clifford and Lips at a cleared space of the library where there was a roaring fire crackling away in a moderately-sized fireplace and a service tray set up with drinks and some small sandwiches for a light snack. The furniture were all chesterfield sofas and chairs with tufted backs and arms.
"There you are, Zoot, I been lookin' all over for you." Dr. Teeth said and sat down on the sofa that was facing the fireplace. "Why'd you wander off on your own?" he asked, picking up a sandwich.
Zoot picked himself two sandwiches before answering, "I don't know, but wherever I was going, it was on the third floor."
"Yo, why you guys pickin' at the food? It could be expired for all we know." Clifford said, taking the sandwich from Dr. Teeth's hand and putting it back on the platter, just as Lips was about to eat his own sandwich. Lips put his sandwich back on the platter when Clifford said that though.
"No, the food never goes to waste here." Zoot said and took a bite of his sandwich. The only one closest to him was Crazy Harry, so he didn't have his sandwiches taken away.
"That may be, but food poppin' out of nowhere? Something's gotta be up about that. It could be poisonous." Clifford said.
"Oh come on, they would never poison us without direct orders." Crazy Harry said.
Clifford opened his mouth to argue some more while Lips was still indecisive about eating a sandwich or not as he kept reaching out to the platter and pulling his hand back for every valid point. "You said you were on the third floor when you blinked out?" Dr. Teeth said, getting back to what Zoot was talking about earlier and tossing a sandwich into his mouth before Clifford could say anything about it, which prompted Lips to finally take a sandwich and eat it.
"Yeah, all I can remember is leaving the shower and goin' up two flights of stairs, and then I'm here eatin' sandwiches with you guys." Zoot said.
"Memory loss or not, please tell me you got some common sense when it comes to strangers bein' confined to a spooky mansion and there's magic food lyin' all over the place for the dimwits to eat. In which case, common sense would tell us not to eat the crazy food, man!" Clifford implored Zoot.
"So I'm a dimwit. At least I'll go with a full stomach." Zoot said and tossed another sandwich in his mouth and poured himself a drink. He happened to look up as he sipped his drink and spotted another empty spot above the fireplace. The lack of occupied space just seemed odd for some reason. "There should be a painting there." he said, cocking his head to the side in a curious manner.
Crazy Harry looked to where Zoot was looking and also felt odd about the lack of occupied space and also cocked his head in a curious manner. "You're right. Houses like this usually have an oil painting of a person, or family or some other above the fireplace."
"What makes you so sure that this is a house and not a hotel?" Lips asked, munching on his third sandwich and pouring himself a drink.
"I've been in houses like this before." Crazy Harry answered cryptically. He took another sandwich, finished his drink and excused himself to go explore the library some more.