Chapter Text
It was all anyone was talking about by the time the next Hogsmeade visit rolled by. Sirius Black, stark naked, in a wild goose chase with all fourteen Hogwarts Professors at 09:58pm on a Tuesday night. At least 70% of the prefects caught a glimpse of — what people were calling, the missing grindylow — and that included both the head boy and girl, who were in on the chase.
Sheer, blinding, chaos. That's how people would choose to describe that night. Sure curfew was 10pm for older students but that didn't mean the common room would be any less crowded, so Sirius — with only his hands to cover the 'jewels' — had to run through it to get outside the portrait hole.
The Gryffindor common room had exploded into screams, seventh years running around to cover the younger student's eyes, girl's shrieking and diving into the settee pillows, Alice Fortescue had even set her robes on fire in pure shock. No one had ever heard the portraits make such a ruckus in the school, even the fat lady was in hysterics at the sight of the boy bounding down the corridor.
It was a laugh, Peter made sure to snap a photo of it and the moving image of Sirius dodging students — without any clothes on — was enlarged and hung on the bathroom door to remind them of Remus' justice that day. It didn't stop there, though, Jo and James had entrusted the prefects with their own cameras — heeding them no context — to capture Sirius running through the school after curfew.
Thus the album was created, prefects snapping away while simultaneously trying to catch Sirius. There were photos of Flitwick's reactions, sprinting down the hall and sending spells at Sirius. Sprout and Slughorn teaming together to berate him for doing something so unseemly, Hagrid being brought in and fainting of shock after catching a glimpse of Sirius darting past.
Finally, the creme de la creme of their revenge was Sirius running face first into McGonagall — who proceeded to turn him into several strange creatures out of sheer anger, her face bright red and steaming — collapsing onto the ground.
It was brilliant, and to top it off Sirius now had a month of detention with Filch — using no magic — and was banned from Hogsmeade trips until February. The boys praised Jo for her punishment, as Sirius was still stopped at least six times a day by jokes or comments, there were even charmed sketches illustrating the event that were being passed around school. Clearly due to their own distraught, the teachers believed it fitting for Sirius to put up with them since it was his choice to do something so filthy.
Remus was more than satisfied by the level of embarrassment Sirius faced daily, especially when it meant Jo came up to him after classes to whisper in his ear about the girl's gossiping about Sirius' relationships with them. The marauders uncovered many secrets that week — thanks to her — about what Sirius Black got up to with his number of snookums during their midnight meetings in school. He tried to put up an unbothered face but it was particularly hard when he couldn't even escape the teasing from his own friends. However Sirius knew he deserved it, and was glad if it meant his dearest friends stayed his found family.
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"What if I just sneak out?" Sirius groaned into his breakfast, still devastated that he was banned from Hogsmeade until after the holidays. "C'mon how am I supposed to get you guys Christmas presents."
"Order it via the Prophet, fat cat." Peter scoffed, sipping his extremely milky tea, already bundled in layers of scarfs.
"That's so boring though! Go on, lend me the cloak Prongs!" Sirius replied.
"Should've thought about that before you ran face first into McGonagall, butt naked." James chuckled, helping himself to more bacon as it reappeared on the trays.
"It's not our fault you got caught." Remus buttered his toast, feeling rather pleased at the result of Jo’s little revenge piece.
"—Jo!" Sirius waved down the girl approaching the Gryffindor table, pleading with her as she sat down next to Remus. "Will you stay with me, please?! I'm at a loss here!"
She sticks her tongue out, "as if Sirius!" Jo steals Remus' other slice of toast. "I'm not going to join your little pity party in Hogwarts only days before the term ends."
"Jo! Please!" Sirius begs, hands clasped together in front of him. "I'll do anything—"
"No. I have plans anyway." Jo huffs, already halfway through a mug of hot chocolate.
"Plans?" James and Peter stare at her inquisitively.
"You have plans?" Remus then asks.
"Yeah." She says, her heart beating faster with Remus' full attention. "I'm meeting Lily and the girls, Christmas shopping I suppose... I have some forms to fill in down there too, post stuff." Jo continues sheepishly. "So I can't walk down with you guys later."
"Who'd have thought we'd have our first Hogsmeade without Jo and Sirius." James sighs, his clutter of dirty plates building up beside him as he reaches for yet another helping of bacon and eggs. "Well at least that means I'll have more time in Spintwitches sporting needs."
"You'd spend three hours there, whether or not I came with you guys." Jo tuts.
"Speaking of Quidditch," Peter swallows a mouthful of food. "How's the season going?"
"Alright, I think I've done a damn good job shaping up this year's additions as captain." He puffs his chest out, "sooner or later Lily will have to go out with me — I mean who wouldn't want to date the Quidditch captain after our slaughter of Ravenclaw."
"She spends four times a week comforting your new chaser — y'know the one in fourth year — after your practices because she's certain that you're torturing them. Believe it or not, Prongs, I think she just dislikes you even more." Jo winces.
"What?!" James throws his cutlery down, "hold on— you don't defend me? Or talk me up to her?! Misty, that's betrayal!"
"I've watched practice, I see what you do to the team. No defending there, friend or not, I don't condone recklessness for means of winning."
"Says the girl who nosedived from the Astronomy tower on a faulty school broom instead of refusing the fact that she was wrong." Sirius snorts and Jo punches his shoulder, knocking over a goblet of juice in the meantime.
"That was different, besides you can't talk." She hisses. "Who was it that made Peter jump from the common room window to prove that you're half decent on a broom?"
"Piss off, Mist." Sirius counters, "Peter's not dead, besides I'd say he enjoyed being carried like a princess."
"Shut up little grindylow." Peter scrunches his face up teasingly.
"I'm afraid he got you there, Padfoot." Jo finishes her drink, "right — well — I'm off, lots to do and not enough time to do it." She pecks Remus on the cheek, the action so easy that it shocks the both of them. Clearing her throat she murmurs to him, "Remus — Three Broomsticks later? I fancy a warm butterbeer."
"There's nothing I want more." He gives her a toothy grin, his cheeks slightly pink, sending a flurry of butterflies to her stomach.
"You two are awful, thanks for reminding me how lonely I am." Sirius weeps into Peter's shoulder.
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Hogsmeade was always beautiful during Christmas, decorated with spruce trees, fairy lights, silly wizarding decorations of Hippogriffs and dancing stars, as far as the eye could see. Around everyone, carol singers would joyfully recite their songs, occasionally singing one of Celestina Warbeck's songs whenever spotting a particularly cosy couple pass them.
Jo had done her Christmas shopping here for the last three years, though usually she was surrounded by the marauders' boisterous chatter, which meant she only had thirty minutes to pick something out for everyone. She was grateful now, as she admired a variety of jewellery to bring back for Remus' mam, Hope. Occasionally, Lily would bump Jo's hip and join in on the girls teasing but mostly kept them away from Jo whenever she had a question for the shop owner.
"Know what you're getting Remus yet?" Lily asked, looping her arm with Jo's, falling back a little from the group. "I've been meaning to ask how he is, after it all... I think he's weary of being around me."
"He just doesn't want you to think badly of him, that's all it is Lil." Jo fiddles around with her paper bags, giving her friend a reassuring smile. "But, Remus is just as sweet as ever and that's why it's going to be even harder to find him something this year."
"Cufflinks?" Lily suggests.
"Cufflinks? Lily just what century do you live in, I can't get him cufflinks! He'll think I'm proposing marriage!" Jo whines, she was at a complete loss at this rate.
"Well I'd love some cufflinks for Christmas." Lily huffs.
"Too bad." Jo pinches the bridge of Lily's nose affectionately, "I've already got your Christmas present! And I've thrown away the receipt so you'll have to put up with whatever I get you."
"When did you do this?!" She danced in the snow, shimmying from side to side happily.
"Two weeks ago, put in a form with one of the school owls so make sure you look under the tree at Christmas ok?" Jo said, shivering under her bundle of scarves as a particularly harsh wind blows by them. "Will you be staying at Hogwarts this year?"
"Nope, unfortunately Petunia can't get rid of me that easily." Lily pulls a knot from her hair, the waves damp with sweat from her thick bobble hat. "You and Remus going home too?"
"Yep, you know how it is. Besides my tad will be expecting a crate of chocolate frogs and I'm supposed to figure out a way to sneak stuff from Zonko's past my mam and Hope because Romulus is too much of a lazy git to visit Hogsmeade — so, really, I don't exactly have much choice in the matter of going home."
"Romulus, that's Remus' brother isn't it?" Lily asks.
Jo hums, "mhm — they've got a pretty big age gap, teen pregnancy..." She snorts, "he left the year before we started. Romulus is a cursebreaker now, I've wanted to be one ever since I was a geneth so whenever he visits I always bother him to show me the artefacts he's working on — only downside is that I've asked him so many questions that he now expects payment. Thus why I've bought a months supply of dungbombs, what he could be using them for — as a grown, working man — I have no fucking idea."
"I didn't know you were close with his brother as well." Lily kicks a pile of snow, "a cursebreaker is a surprising career choice — not for you of course, you have the recklessness of a mountain goat — but I guess I picture him as an older version of Remus and Remus seems more suited to be a teacher... ooh or magizoologist strangely enough.”
“He does have a knack for finding magical creatures on a whim, he tried to bring a kelpie home once — in our first year — though McGonagall caught him trying to wrangle it into a tank, broke his jaw in the process… He had a ban from the Black Lake that year.” Jo snorts, recalling the sheer absurdity that twelve year old Remus had.
"Shut up! I've never heard of anyone getting banned from the lake — I mean, it's right there — how is that even possible." Lily laughs, almost tripping on a loose chunk of cobblestone disguised in the thick snow. "Maybe that should be your gift, a bloody kelpie."
"Don't give me any ideas, I'm seriously at a loss here and genuinely considering diving into the lake to find one." Jo groans, "why is this stuff so hard! I've known Remus forever but getting him a semi-decent gift is a one hit wonder."
"Well, let's think of this logically. What did you last get him, we'll work back from there." Lily says. "Remember bigger isn't always better—" she smirks, elbowing Jo's ribs affectionately.
"Ignoring that — clearly I have been a bad influence on you — I last got him a charm, its a little carved wolf that looks like him when... you know." Jo sighs deeply, "it's a bit simple and I feel as though if I got him something like that again, Remus would think I'm being lazy."
They pause in front of another shop window, peering at the Christmas displays, a tiny griffin flying animatedly around a spruce tree and a miniature of the Hogwarts Express. In glowing letters, the words "Happy Yuletide" spun across the scene, fluttering like butterflies around it.
"That's sweet — really sweet — I think you ought to do something sentimental like that, he seems like the kind of guy who'd prefer something from your heart rather than something extravagant." Lily leans her head against Jo's shoulder.
"Yeah?" Jo breathes.
"Mhm, think about stuff he likes."
Jo ponders for a moment, she leads Lily down another street — clearly having lost Francesca and Mary amongst the Christmas hustle. "He likes..." Jo suddenly feels very vulnerable, a rush of warmth spreading across her cheeks "...chocolates, carrot cake, weird stones on the beach back home in Tenby... he loves to read — poetry mainly, or thrillers when he can't sleep — and don't tell him I said so but he's got an affinity for drawing... Remus often talks to the portraits about the quality of their brushstrokes."
"God, he really is just the ideal man huh?" Lily raises her brow knowingly. "You've got plenty to work with then! C'mon let's hear some ideas."
"Ok... I can't bake — I'm dead clumsy so that's a bad idea." Jo replies and Lily stifles a howl of laughter, "I wouldn't be able to get him any stones 'til we get home... I could get him a book..." they come to another stop in front of a second hand bazaar, and there's a spark in Jo's mind. "Yeah, I could get him a book!"
"A book? Right, ok, and how will this be sentimen— agh!" Lily yelps, stumbling atop the wonky steps behind Jo, her arm being tugged into the shop, eager to bring her idea to life. She found the perfect gift for Remus, a way for her to channel those confusing feelings about her closest friend without ruining their holidays.
"Merlin Jo!" Sirius cries, "are you bringing the bloody library home or what?" He heaves his friend's trunk atop the baggage rack, jolting sideways when the train suddenly moves. "Honestly, you'll be back in a couple weeks."
Jo swats the back of his head, tugging on his shaggy hair, "they're gifts thank you very much! Keep this up and you won't be getting one." She huffs, taking her seat beside Remus, kicking her legs onto his lap.
"I definitely won't be if my mother tries to steal my parcels like last year." Sirius pouts, then turns to James, a familiar scheming look on his face, "though I suppose it would be nice for her to hear all about that lovely shag you had during the summer again."
"Merlin! I forgot about that! Well, Walburga is more than welcome to steal any of my letters — I shall be writing them with meaning, incredibly detailed that she'd never dare touch one of them again!" James puffs his chest out, saluting Sirius with his wand.
"My Prongs in shining armour!" Sirius collapses into his arms with a flourish, "if only I could escape the house to return to your humble abode."
"I propose we elope Padfoot! You're seventeen soon, perfect timing if I do say so myself!" James shouts, stealing one of Jo's hairbands and propping it up like a ring.
"Oh yeah!" Sirius jerks upwards, "it's my bloody birthday next week!"
Remus chokes on his laughter, nudging Sirius' shin, "you idiot! How do you forget your own birthday, you only have your head up your arse 80% of the time! It's the biggest one too, little Sirius Black becoming a fully fledged adult!"
"Awh," Jo continues teasingly, putting on a posh accent, "we ought to throw a coming of age party — perhaps at the vineyard, or maybe the ballroom is a better bet, Lord Lupin."
"Tease all you want, it'll be held at the Black Wing Manor in Hampshire." Sirius tuts, "Walburga may despise me, but my coming of age requires her to acknowledge me as her son — an heir of the Noble and Ancient House of Black so you know damn well it'll be magnificent."
"You're such a fat cat." James snickers, "think you'll be able to sneak out? We could floo down to the Leaky Cauldron before school starts again, properly celebrate like the heathens we are."
"Ooh, good idea. Padfoot you can smuggle us some firewhisky, give us a proper story to berate Peter for missing." Jo said.
"If I can manage to get out the miserable place, you bet — though you're clearly more of a gin woman, as I am." Sirius grins when Jo nods agreeingly, muttering about how white wine isn't too bad either. "I still can't believe Peter's staying at school."
"Did he say why?" Remus asks, keeping an eye out for the trolley, tapping Jo's legs impatiently.
"His mam's away, I think in Europe somewhere..." Jo admires the white hills roll past the window, snowflakes daintily falling on the window. "Didn't really expand on it, he looked pretty nervous honestly."
"That's how he always looks," said James, shrugging. "I reckon he's staying because he fancies that Slytherin, merlin what's her name again, Padfoot?"
"Who?" Sirius' face is blank. "Why would I willingly know anyone in Slytherin."
"She's in your brother's year, mate." James snaps his fingers.
"And? My brother pretends I don't exist, apparently I'm a bloody demiguise walking around school." Sirius waves his hands around dismissively.
"Are you on about Siobhan Montgomery? She was the only Slytherin girl sorted in his year." Jo said, "don't tell me Peter fancies her! Only trails after Regulus like he's an all-mighty saint, 'I can change you Reg, I can'." She ridicules the younger girl.
"See! Jo get's it, this is why she's my favourite!" Sirius squishes himself next to Jo, draping his arms around her.
"It's a shame the sentiment isn't returned." Jo pokes Sirius under the arms, watching him flail onto the floor again. After five years of friendship with Sirius, one notices just how much he seems to enjoy lying on the floor given how he ends up there more often than not.
"Compared to Sirius, he may as well be a saint." James laughs.
"Hey!"
"Compared to Sirius, we're saints. And that's saying something." Remus adds, "though I'd say Josie here is barely making the cut of sainthood."
Jo gasps, "now you take that back Remus John Lupin!" She stands up, trodding on Sirius' limbs several times in the process, ready to deck her best friend. "I am more of a saint than you and James put together!" Jo goes to headlock Remus but narrowly misses, falling into the seat as he darts into the train corridor.
"Blasphemy! Sirius has corrupted you, my dear Josephine!" Remus shouts down the hall, Jo scrambling out and chasing him, a great smile on her face — anticipating the very moment they can run free on the beach again, hand in hand, no leering eyes on them, no expectations to pretend.
Home. Jo couldn't wait to go home.