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James knew it was coming, it was somewhat sweet even. There were cookies on the counter, and Lily was standing on the other side of the counter as she wrung her hands. She looked pained but they both knew that it was coming. That their relationship wasn’t going to go on further. It couldn’t. “Look,” Lily whispers, “I love you, I do,” she says and her eyes are teary, and James hates himself just a little that he feels good that at least Lily is hurting too. “But this isn’t going to work. Us. We- we’re too much,” he says, “you’re too-“ she winches.
James looks away, well that one hurt. He swallows, “I’m too much,” he says, “too- extra?” he asks softly.
“I- I’m sorry,” Lily whispers, her voice is hoarse, and James can practically feel the way her magic flutters around her, not burning as an ember as it should. “You’re- you’re great James. And I loved what we had but it- it was too soon. All of it.” James winches looking at the little seat at the edge of the table. He should have known that Lily was going to do this today the moment she’d accepted Harry spending the entire day with Sirius and Remus.
He looks at the rings on the counter. Hers. His mother’s engagement ring. Somehow he can’t be bothered to regret it. Not really, because what they had had been like fire. It had lit up his entire life and little Harry, his little boy, he was the world to him. But he knew, they both knew that Lily wasn’t ready, hadn’t been ready. She kept the baby and maybe that had been their mistake, to make something of them that they weren’t. Because Lily wasn’t a mother yet, and sure, James hadn’t been a father yet, but he was one now. And he loved being one. Most of the time.
He certainly doesn’t regret having his parents at least think that he was set. That he had a love like theirs, a son to call his own. A life for himself. They didn’t leave him without his own little family. Only well. “I know,” he says softly, and he takes the ring off the table. “I know that our love doesn’t work anymore. I know that you love Harry,” he whispers looking up, “but- I- Lils,” he says desperately, “don’t take him away from me,” he asks helplessly.
There’s a tear falling past her cheek, slow, rolling, and James knows that she won’t let him smooth it away like he could in the past. She wasn’t his anymore. And they both knew it now. It has been said into the world. They were over. Broken up. “I don’t know what to do,” Lily says sniffing, “I- I love him, so much, but- I- Professor Flitwick, he, he offered me an apprenticeship.”
James breathes in sharply, “he did? Oh Lils I’m so-“ he falters, “I’m so proud,” he whispers, “and happy for you,” he adds. Even though it aches. “You should take it, I- I promise he’ll be okay, and-“
James jolts when he has her in his arms suddenly, hugging him tightly, and James almost melts into her arms, but she’s out again. “I do love him,” she says nearly blubbering, “I do.”
“I know,” James says softly, “but you don’t have to do more than you’re ready for. And I would- I want him, Lils, so bad. I’ll take good care of him, I promise.”
“I know,” Lily whispers, “I do.” she looks at him, at those green eyes that are the same as his little boys. The eyes that made him fall for her. “I feel-“ she shakes her head, “we need- there are papers and-“
“I know,” James whispers, “look I’ll move,” he says, “I still have mum and dad’s place,” he says when she shakes her head, “it’s- this place is yours too. You’ll, well, you’ll have to figure it out with rent and how you want to do it, but it’s not impossible, and with you going to Hogwarts,” he adds, smiling.
Lily ducks her head, “thank you,” she whispers.
“Can you just give me like today?” He asks softly, looking to the living room. “I’ll pack my things, and Harry’s. We’ll be out before dinner.”
“It’s not like we won’t see each other,” she says, “right? I still, I’m not leaving him.”
“I know, Lils,” he says smiling sadly, “I know you’ll be there for us. We’ll figure it out, it’ll just take time,” he murmurs.
“Yeah,” she says, taking a deep breath. “We will,” she looks down at her hand. Ringless. James’ ring is still on there, but he knows he won’t have it on for long. He looks at her, “I-“ she closes her mouth again. “I’ll go, give you time,” she whispers.
James swallows thickly and watches as his love, his wife, leaves. The door closes. “Fuck,” he gasps, breath catching in his throat. He presses his face into his hand. The tears are coming, he knew that they would come, but he’s glad that he didn’t cry in front of Lily. It ached inside, to know that that part of his life was over. He’d been trying to save it, take Lily out on some dates, have a good time together. But Harry was there, and he wanted to spend every moment he could with his little boy and that meant that he couldn’t spend all his time with his wife.
But he’d loved Lily for so long. Since the moment he saw her he’d been head over heels for her. And then later, in seventh year he could finally know how it was to have her in his arms. To whisk her away, to take her in his arms, and to have her below him. But now, now he would never have that again, could never have that again. Not with Harry.
He wipes his face clean. Right, Harry. His darling little miracle. Or accident perhaps. He slowly stands, transfiguring some toys of Harry’s into boxes, before directing the others inside. It ached inside, to clean out, but he also knew that he couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t sleep on the couch until he found the strength to move out. He could definitely not lie in bed next to the woman he’d fallen out of love with. Especially not with their little baby in the crib beside them.
Their place was small, too small really for two adults and a baby. But it had been home if only for a few years. But now it wasn’t. Especially not with all of Harry’s toys put in boxes and his clothes taken. He dumps his dirty laundry in a garbage bag, uses his other clothes to wrap his mother’s old China, and bags all the spices he uses. He leaves all the pots, except for the one that his dad taught him how to make curry in. He packs all the books that are Harry's and his and leaves the one that they bought together.
He can’t take the pictures off the wall. Can’t take away Harry’s cute little picture, snuggled in Lily’s arms. He looks at the love that shines in her eyes. Love for the little bundle, but not for her new status. Mother. He duplicates the lot of them. They’re not perfect, but he can ask Lily to send proper copies after him.
They’ll have to divorce, for real. They’ll have to sign their papers. He’d always known deep down that he was too much for Lily. Too out there. He was obnoxiously loud; he was brash, and he loved games. He got loud and competitive, and he could sit for hours and plan. Lily was quiet. She was fire when she got angry, or passionate. But outside of those high emotions, she was mellow, just smouldering embers which waited to flame at the right moments. Instead of the constant fire and fireworks that was him.
The house looked grim without his things. Empty without Harry’s toys and crib and blocks and books. It didn’t take very long. But longer than he wanted and his stomach was rumbling loudly in annoyance. He carefully puts the boxes in his old trunk, and they are easily accommodated for. He closes it and looks around.
It leaves the apartment empty, there are pictures and books and couches. Yes, but it felt without joy. He wanted to give Harry a place of joy, a place that made him giggle loudly and where he could let his magic free. A place where he could zoom around on his kiddy broom and could run after Padfoot.
He presses a kiss to his hand and into the walls. The walls where his marriage had been between. The walls where he’d fallen in love and fallen out of love. The walls where Harry had run sticky fingers past when he was just one. It was the house he was a married man in, a husband and a father. But always too much of both.
He brushes his face clean, inhaling and exhaling tiredly, before he grabs his broom, his cloak, and his trunk with items. And closes the door behind him. He knows that it’s not enough, there will be more he needs to do to really close this chapter, and really, it will always be there, but one day, the chapter will be finished, and he’ll move on properly.
***
His first stop is his parent’s old home in Godric’s Hollow. It’s small yet feels instantly like home. The wards welcome him eagerly, and he feels like the tenseness of his shoulders relaxes. The air is stale from stasis spells, but they pop when he walks in. The windows swing open without his hands, and the house welcomes him in a way their little muggle apartment in London never had.
He’ll have to do some cleaning, and certainly some renovations. He can’t sleep in his parents’ bed, because that would be too icky. But he’ll take their bedroom. It’s larger, but mostly it looks out into the yard. The sun would shine into the room in the morning and the majority of the afternoon. Harry’s room will be on the other side of the landing. It’s got the early morning sun, but no afternoon. So it won’t heat up too much in the afternoon for when he plays or naps in his room.
He’ll have to paint the room, take off his old pictures and the few things he’d left. The things Lily had thought too juvenile to keep in their apartment. Things like his journals of pranks. He smiles to himself, flicking through them. God, he can’t wait to tell Harry about them and about Hogwarts.
He starts with Harry’s room, painstakingly taking everything off the walls and taking away the queen bed. He’ll put that in his room for now. He’ll buy a new one later. He erects the crib and his diaper table. He transfigures his old bedspread into a wicker basket and puts some toys in there and puts Harry’s favourite stuffies in there.
He yawns, looking at the clock. Shit, it’s already nearly dinner. Sirius must be wondering where either of them are. He rushes to grab his coat and smiles a little to himself as he rushes down the street. Finally back near his brothers.
The bell jingles above his head and he grins at Moony when he whips around behind the register. “Prongs!” he calls out, smiling, before his eyebrows furrow. “You’re- are you okay?”
“Where’s Harry?” he asks, and for some reason he imagines Lily walking in and taking him and just- but there he is, giggling in Sirius’ lap as they sit by the books. He sighs, rushing over.
“Daddy!” Harry cries out eagerly, holding up his arms, and James scoops him up, giving dramatic flying noises before he crushes him to his chest. He inhales deeply, pressing kisses to Harry’s little face.
“Hi sunshine,” he says happily, “aren’t you the cutest little toddler in the world, huh,” he hums, pulling him into his arms. “Hey bub,” he sighs. He doesn’t know why for a second he was scared that Lily would take him, but she didn’t because they talked about it.
“Prongs,” Pads says slowly, looking up from where he’d been holding Harry, “what’s- you’re being a little weird,” he says slowly. The way he’s started talking, calm and gentle. Ever since he and Lily started to have problems, and he needed to vent with someone. Ever since Sirius got his head out of his arse and realised not everyone had a fated werewolf mate thank you very much and he could use the bloody help.
“Lily and I are over,” he says softly, “and Harry and I,” he grins at his baby, “we’re moving into Potter’s cottage.”
Sirius’ eyes widen and his face turns into a grin before he dampens it a little as Remus elbows him. “I’m sorry to hear that,” Remus says diplomatically, “come on, sit, I’ll make you some tea.”
“Thanks,” he says, and he yawns, “It’s, ah, been a hectic day. I mean I knew it was coming,” he confesses, “I’d been thinking of ending it, but she kinda cut me to it. It’s better like this, we’re still okay now, you know. And if we’d let it go on for too long it would, well, cause friction too much, and that wouldn’t be good for Harry. I want him to have two parents who love him and care for each other, and right now that’s what he has. Just, not in the same house anymore.”
“And how are you and her going to share custody?” Sirius asks, brushing his knees.
“I’m taking most of the bulk,” and he smiles when he sees the pleased look pass between his friends. He knows that they both love Harry to pieces. He knows that Harry is pack just as much as he is to Remus. “Lily’s going to start an apprenticeship with Flitwick next year, so she’ll be busy being her brilliant self. And I can have Harry,” he says happily.
“Good,” Remus hums, and he puts some food and a drink on the table, taking the other seat. He flicks his wand to the sign, and it turns easily. Signalling their closure. “I hate to say it, but I’m glad,” he says softly, “you seem more, yourself.”
Sirius nods a little too vigorously. James winches but he nods, he knows what they mean. “I- It still hurts, you know,” he says softly, “knowing that it didn’t work out. I wanted it to. I love her, I still do, just- I know we’re not it. I know in my heart that we would never be it. I- I guess that’s why we never did the real bonding; you know.”
“I have to confess that I’d wondered why you didn’t do it,” Sirius says, even as he creates sparkles for Harry with his wand, “you’d always talked about it, like that sap you are.”
James smiles, he’d always dreamed of it. Binding himself to one person, the way that Sirius and Remus would bond. The way that Sirius and Remus were already bonded really. Just by Remus’ claim on Sirius.
“I wanted to,” he whispers, “but I knew that it would be too much for her. That I would be too much. I-” he winches, “I’m a lot to handle,” he says self-deprecating, “too much for most, besides you two dumbasses. I could never be myself again if we’d bonded like that.”
Remus puts a hand on his, squeezing gently. “I loved being a husband, though,” he whispers, and he hates that there are tears in his eyes. But it’s true. He loved it. He loved having a person to call his own. To be someone’s husband and to come home to his wife. To his partner. He loved every part of that, but maybe that had been the problem. He loved being a husband, but he didn’t necessarily love being Lily’s husband.
“Fuck mate,” Sirius says gruffly, the emotionally constipated dick that he was. “Don’t cry.”
James laughs, brushing his cheeks, “I just got dumped, Pads, let me bloody cry.”
Sirius grimaces and buries his face in his tea. Remus rolls his eyes before he plops Harry into Sirius’ lap and curls his arms around James. “You’ll be okay,” Remus murmurs softly, “it’ll take work, and you’ll have to do that work, but you’ll be okay. And one day, when you’re not nineteen and mostly thinking with your dick, you’ll find someone that doesn’t think you’re too much. That loves how energetic and passionate you are about life. And you’ll get to bond with that person the way you’ve always waxed lyrically about.”
James laughs wetly into Remus’ cardigan. “You really think that?” he asks softly.
“I know it, Jamie,” Remus murmurs, “you’re meant to love and be loved. You’ll find that person. And for now, instead, you have a tiny copy of yourself that loves you to bits and that you love to bits.” he pulls back, and James brushes his cheeks again. God, he should stop crying. “C’mon, let's pack his bag of things and get Potter’s cottage in working order for the marauders, eh?”
James laughs, and he gathers his son back into his arms. Harry looks around curiously. Looking at James’ face, before smiling happily and burying closer to his chest. He was a real papa’s boy. And James was absolutely in favour of that. He watches as Sirius grabs Harry’s things and as Remus quickly spells the shop clean, all chairs turning onto the table, every surface gleaming clean again. Stasis spells covering their food.
He walks to his new home, wifeless, but with his brothers by his side. Harry babbling happily in his arms.
***
It’s a hectic time. James overhauls the majority of Potter's cottage. He paints his walls, he paints Harry’s. He also cleans out the guest room, or what used to be Sirius’ place. He cleans the kitchen and adds his new favourite appliances to it. He buys squishy sofas and a play mat for Harry. He puts up paintings and he works as he watches Harry.
Or, well, he writes. He’s loaded, quite literally, and he doesn’t need to spend a lot of money because he’s got a greenhouse where he’s growing his own vegetables, and he’s got friends with their own little coffee shop that give him leftovers.
It’s hard on Harry at first. He doesn’t get that he’s suddenly just with his dad, and his room is new and strange. But he also seems content. He likes to waddle around and play in the sunshine in the living room. He watches his dad intently, and he always cries out happily when Remus or Sirius come over. It’s not perfect, but it’s home and comfortable.
Harry is sitting in his carrier, babbling to him, waving his hew stuffy around as he walks into Remus and Sirius’ shop. “Hi moons!” He calls out, only to frown. “Hey, what’s up, you look tired,” he says. And it’s not the full moon at all.
“We had a thing-“ Moony starts before there’s a crash. He sighs, ignoring it completely, “Regulus came by.”
“What?” James asks, eyes wide. Regulus hasn't spoken to Sirius since he graduated and went to start his life with Remus.
“Yeah, it’s not going smoothly,” he sighs, “he was- well-“ he winches, “he told Sirius Walburga died,” he says quietly, “and asked him to come to the funeral.” James hisses. Moony nods tiredly, “but I- I don’t think that’s really the reason he’s here,” he says quietly, “I know it’s bad form, but he smelled so lost. And hurt.”
James looks over to the small kitchen and office. He sighs, “should I-?” He asks.
“Can you try? It’s- Sirius has missed him a lot, but he- he didn’t take it well.”
James nods and he walks past some of the customers. He knocks on the door and opens it. Regulus is there on one side, Sirius on the other. “She was our mother,” Regulus hisses, “doesn’t that count?”
“She wasn’t mine,” Sirius hisses, “she disowned me, or did you conveniently forget that.”
“I didn’t,” Regulus growls, “I also didn’t forget that you chose to leave.”
“Boys,” James calls out.
“Stay out of this, Potter,” Regulus growls. And James understands what Moony means. He looks angry but also lost. Unsure.
“Harry’s here for his allotted Padfoot time and he gets grumpy if he doesn’t get to cuddle with his favourite godfather,” he says, and he promptly hands his baby over to Sirius. Sirius’ anger vanishes at Harry’s eager latching on, hugging him and babbling as he shows his new stuffy.
Sirius melts, “you got a new one, huh, pup?” He says, “did you show it to Uncle Moony, yet?”
Regulus scoffs, “should’ve known you’d-“ he scoffs again before moving past, rushing out. Sirius looks up and he looks so helpless. James squeezes his shoulder before rushing after him.
“Regulus!” He calls out.
“Stay out of this, Potter,” Regulus growls.
James grabs his shoulder, and he doesn’t move his hand even as ice slides over his fingers. “Come back inside, have a cup of tea. Sirius needs time to think, you know how he is. He just heard the woman that hurt him and separated you two is dead.”
“She was his mother,” Regulus says, and the angry facade disappears in a second, “my mother.”
James pulls him close, and Regulus only struggles a little. They used to be friends and used to know each other closely. Until Sirius ran and everything went to shit. Only their last year did Regulus thaw slowly. He never got back to little Reggie who snuck around with them. But he’d stopped trying to be the junior death eater he was in public.
“She’s dead,” he gasps out and James feels his body tremble in his arms. “I- I don’t know how to feel,” he whispers.
“Reggie,” James murmurs, “you’re allowed to be sad,” he whispers, “but no one can tell you how to feel. Just as no one can say what Sirius must feel. You’re- she was your mother- but she- she was also your warden.”
Regulus tenses and struggles, “you don’t have to be anyone but yourself now. You can be whoever you want to be. You, Regulus Black. No-one else. Nothing else.”
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” he whispers.
“You’ve got time to figure it out. We’re pretty young, Reg. We made mistakes, all of us did. Doesn’t mean we can’t change and find out who we are now.”
“What? Perfect Potter makes mistakes?” Regulus asks.
“I’m a twenty-two-year-old divorced bloke with a toddler, I’d say I made mistakes,” James says dryly. “Come inside, take a breather, and talk with your brother. Instead of forcing the feelings you are both expecting the other to have on him. You grieve how you do, he does how he does.”
Regulus looks away, his cheeks splotchy red. “Fine,” he whispers.
James follows him back inside to find Harry strapped to Sirius’ chest and his best friend beating cream like his life depended on it.
“So,” he says sliding up, “she’s dead.”
“Good riddance,” Sirius growls. James just looks at him, watches the fierce scowl, and the barely hidden worry.
“He’s lost, Pads,” James whispers softly, “you got free years ago, he was set free now,” he puts a hand on his mate’s arm. “He needs his big brother. Needs to grieve.”
“She’s not worth grieving,” Sirius growls.
“Like how my failed marriage wasn’t worth tears?” He asks, softly. “It’s not that easy, some people need to grieve people they hated and loved at the same time. You might only hate your mother. He loved her too, in his own way.”
“She was a vile abuser,” Sirius hisses to him, “she doesn’t deserve love.”
“You can’t always help who you love,” he says gently, “we all loved Peter like a brother,” he whispers, “he was ours. But he betrayed us. And that hurt. I loved him though,” James whispers, "I hate him, but I loved him. We still grieved his death.”
Sirius worries his lip piercing. Harry watches the light flicker off it happily. Oblivious to the pain. “Did he leave?” He whispers.
“He’s here,” James answers looking at him at the table. “He’s lost, mate,” he says, “and he needs his brother the same way I needed mine when Lily and I split. He needs someone to help him.”
“I don’t know if I can,” he whispers.
“You can try, and we’re there for you,” he answers softly. “No matter what.”
Sirius nods and he rubs his hands over his jeans. “No,” he pouts when James moves to take Harry back, “snuggle time isn’t over,” he grumbles, “I need my supportive toddler.”
James laughs, “be my guest,” he says, “now go.”
***
Regulus watches them talk, he knows it’s about him and his mother. James’ bloody compassionate eyes peering at him. Before turning back to his brother.
He rubs his arm, the mark is still there, even though it's dormant. Empty of magic now that the commander is dead. He still remembers the shrill screams as his soul piece went up in flames.
He shakes his head. His warden and his lord are both dead now. And he’s left floundering. Strings cut and no orders to obey. His mother’s blazing eyes no longer following his every movement. Making sure he upheld the Black name even after he destroyed the dark Lord.
She’d never known. Nobody ever knew that without the destruction of the soul piece, he wouldn’t have been mortal enough to kill. No one knew that had he not gone into the forsaken cave Dumbledore’s battle to protect some prophecy during his last year would never have led to his demise.
He preferred it like that. Only the unspeakables knew. Only that was why he got away with the crimes he’d committed under his command. He preferred it that no one knew. Even if he could do without the look in his brother's eyes when he followed his hand rubbing his arm. But he couldn’t regret it entirely, because him taking his mark so soon helped save all his friends from the same pain he has inside him.
There’s a baby strapped to Sirius' chest when he walks over. Harry Potter, presumably. Seeing as he was James Potter’s spitting image. Down to the grinning cheeks as he looked up at his brother.
“I’m not going to the funeral,” Sirius says, and Regulus bites his tongue, “but I’ll help get the affairs in order if you want,” he says slowly. “I- I hate her, Reggie,” he says slowly, “so much. I- I can’t act like I don’t. But I’ll help you. If that’s what you need.”
“She- I hate her too,” he whispers. It makes his stomach roil as he says it. Just the thought that she could hear, “but she’s my mother. And- and I did love her, before everything.”
Sirius closes his eyes and buries his face into Harry’s mop of hair. Inhaling like he could scent as his werewolf lover. “I know that you loved her,” Sirius whispers, “that’s- that’s why I couldn’t take you with me. Because you still loved her, after everything. And I- I couldn’t love her anymore.”
Regulus swallows. Oh god. He never should have brought up that night. It’s his own fault. They never talked about it. Not really. “I know,” he whispers, “you had new parents that could love you and who you could love in turn,” he whispers, “I only had them. There was- there was no one I could go to.”
“I love you, Reggie,” Sirius says, and his eyes are watery and so sincere it nearly pierces his heart, “isn’t that enough for you? Do you- do you have to make me love her? Because I can’t.”
“I know,” he whispers, “I know that now. I’m not fifteen anymore.” He looks at his hands. For a second all he sees is blood coating his hands, his fingers. The hunger and the- he jolts when Sirius’ hand covers his. “I don’t know who I am anymore,” he gasps breathlessly, “she’s gone and I- I’m alone.”
“You’re not alone,” Sirius says fiercely, “you’ve got me, and my people.” He looks up to his brother, “you’re not alone. You’ve got me.”
Regulus lets out a shaky breath, “I- I need to do so much, and I just- I never- I didn’t think that I’d actually be the head,” he whispers, “I never thought she’d actually die. And now I-” he bites his lip, “I need to arrange a funeral. But I don’t know how.”
“We’ll figure it out together,” he says, “where are you staying? Do you wanna stay with me and Moony?”
“I don’t want to impose,” he says, “it’s nearly full moon and it’s not going to be comfortable to have me on your lip. I’ll just have to stay,” he winches.
“You can stay with me,” James says, and Regulus nearly jumps. “Got a guest bedroom. As long as you don’t mind a toddler running around and being awake at bloody seven in the morning.” He boops his toddler on the nose causing sweet giggles, “then you can stay.”
“I don’t want to impose,” Regulus whispers.
“You’re not,” James says easily, “I really don’t mind, Reg,” he says, and his eyes are so sincere and warm, and Regulus would love that right now. Something gentle and warm. To sleep somewhere that’s not a couch with his brother’s amorous sounds as background noise. Or that dreary dark house with a portrait of his mother in the halls.
“Thank you,” he whispers before he can decline the offer.
James grins towards him and Regulus lets a small smile slip through. And he can’t help but laugh when Harry loudly disagrees with still being stuck in Sirius’ arms. “I think cuddle time is over, Sirius,” he drawls, and he laughs again softly when Sirius all but pouts, even as he lets the toddler down onto the floor.
***
Regulus watches the room; the sun goes down in the evening in his windows. He’s next to James’ room. The same one that Sirius had moved into when he’d gotten free of his mother, his parents. He sits on the bed, looking out into the rolling fields behind Godric’s Hollow.
He’s free. Truly free of his shackles now, and he’s lost. Half of him wanted to run to Evan and Barty, but he couldn’t. They don’t need to see him like this, so lost. Pandora, well, she’s busy with her husband no doubt. Not that he would have gone there, her husband is a little, strange to say.
He bites his lip, fingers tracing the mark on his arm. He looks up when his door opens, and he nearly laughs as he sees a toddler waddle inside. He was pretty sure that Harry wasn’t tall enough to reach the handle, but that didn’t seem to stop him.
Harry grins, “play?” he asks, eyes wide.
James comes in after him, “sorry,” he says with a laugh, hauling Harry into his side. “He’s not supposed to be able to open doors.” Harry giggles happily, still looking at him. “Are you settling in alright?” he asks, his eyes slide to his mark for just a second before he looks up again, a small smile still on those lips.
“I am,” he says, “thank you,” he says again.
“It’s nothing, Reg, really,” he says, “I have a free place, you needed to stay somewhere.” He smiles, “I bet it’ll be better than staying with Pads and Moon,” he drawls, “they get very,” his eyes flick to Harry, “busy around the full moon.”
He winches, “look, there’s something I want to ask you, and you’re totally okay to say no because Lils will definitely step in if necessary. But well, I’m usually with them during the full moon, could- would you look after Harry during that night? He’ll probably sleep right through it, but I need to just, be sure that there’s someone if he has a nightmare.”
“Oh, and you want me-?” he asks surprised.
“Yeah, why not? I mean it’s a toddler,” he drawls, “you can’t do a lot wrong, just don’t shake him,” he says with a laugh. Regulus looks at him surprised. James Potter really trusts him with his child even though he’s seen proof that Regulus definitely was a death eater in the past. “You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you’d be safe for Harry, Reg,” he says softly.
Oh. “Alright,” he says softly, “I’ll watch him. But, you’re sure it’s safe to be around a werewolf? I know you’re practically his pack, but you’re not- you’re a human.”
James grins, and he sets Harry on his bed, before moving his body, and Regulus jolts when there’s suddenly a buck in his room. Bloody hell. Of course. “Should’ve known,” he mutters, “Sirius?”
James transforms back. His shirt is gone, “shit,” he mutters, “usually I manage to transform with everything.” He grumbles, “but Sirius is a Grimm,” he says with a grin, “dog and wolf and all that,” he grins, “so we’ll be safe, no worry.”
“Good,” Regulus says, and he pokes Harry’s side, earning giggles. He can’t help but smile, even as Harry clambers over his lap, sitting up and looking at him inquiringly. “Regulus,” he murmurs, “I’m Regulus.”
Harry blinks at him, “Regl’s,” he mumbles, and Regulus grins helplessly. Harry is a cute bugger for sure. He can understand why Sirius instantly calms with him in his arms.
“Almost, squirt,” he says. He looks up and sees James smiling towards him. “He’s cute,” he says, “for a baby.”
James laughs, eyes twinkling, “yeah, real heartbreaker,” he smiles. “He’ll be a spoiled brat if I don’t watch out though,” he adds laughing, “he gets everything he wants, especially if Pads is near.” Regulus snickers, yeah he can imagine. “You want me to take him back?” he asks laughing as Harry clambers over him. He nods, and James snatches his baby back. Harry’s lower lip trembles, but James easily pops his dummy back into his mouth and Harry sucks happily instead. Fatherhood suits him a lot, that’s for sure. “Dinner’s gonna take a little while, but I’ll call you when it’s ready,” James says.
“I can help,” he says quickly.
James looks over his shoulder, “take your time and unpack Reg,” he says gently, “I can manage to cook dinner for three,” he says with a smile. “Just focus on yourself for a bit.”
Regulus nods numbly, moving to unpack his bag. Maybe it’ll feel more real if he unpacks. He grabs the binder with his mother’s will and requests. He at least wants to send her away properly. Or at least, most properly.
***
It’s a little strange to have someone else in his home again. He needs to wait to shower sometimes, and sometimes Harry runs away to ask his new friend to play. It’s nice too though. Sirius and Regulus use his living room table to plan the funeral, which means he can be there for both of them and use Harry as a good excuse to diffuse the situation.
Regulus asks hesitantly if he can ask some friends over since he doesn’t want to go over to their house. James hesitates for a second, but in the end, he trusts Regulus. He hadn’t been lying when he said he did, and Harry loves him which to him is a good sign. Besides, having some friends when James is out for the full moon would be good. He doesn't want Regulus to worry about any of them.
He’s a little surprised by Regulus’ friends. He’s always thought of Regulus as someone proper. He often wore ‘proper’ clothes, and he liked to listen to classical music like a real nerd. But his friends were very different.
He blinks in surprise when the first one arrives. “Oh hello, James,” Pandora says, a hand on her belly. So big that James is a little surprised she’s not going into labour right this second. “And who’s this?” she asks, gasping happily as Harry peers from behind his legs.
“His name is Harry,” James laughs, picking him up, “come on in,” he adds with a smile. Two boys follow, they’re around the same age as Regulus, and one has about as many tattoos sporadically covering his body, and piercings here and there. Clearly well on his way to being just as covered as Sirius was. The other had his arms protectively around the other peering at him.
“Potter,” he drawls, “what, was Reg too much on his high horse to open the door himself?”
“I’m helping Pandora, you ass!” Regulus calls out from the living room. “Introduce yourselves like you’re not some low life,” he adds.
“Barty,” the one with the tattoos says, “this one’s Evan, not to be confused with your Evans.”
James rolls his eyes, but steps aside, “you both know who I am,” he drawls, “call me James,” he adds, “and come inside before the cold comes in. Or my toddler runs out.” As if on cue Harry comes barrelling towards them and Barty crouches quickly, catching him before he runs outside.
“You have a mini-me,” Barty says surprised, “didn’t think you’d ever be mature enough.”
James rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but snort, “I think no one thought that,” he drawls before taking Harry up in his arms. He smiles at his little son, shyly looking at the newcomers now that he can’t run out to freedom. Or to Padfoot, he’s not sure why Harry always runs out when he can. “His name is Harry, and he should go up and to bed, because it’s bedtime, isn’t it, baby?” he murmurs.
Harry pouts impressively, but he dutifully lets James carry him upstairs and he smiles as he hears Regulus laugh. It’s clearly something he needed, his friends. James comes downstairs, carrying the baby monitor. He drops it in Regulus’ lap. “You know to call me,” he says, seriously, “just, well, take care of him.” He says seriously.
“Of course,” Regulus says looking up. He puts the monitor on the table before him, directed to him. “Be careful.”
James rolls his eyes with a smile, “you know me, the most careful person in the world.” Regulus rolls his eyes, even as he gathers the food he’d made for in the morning. “I’ll be back around six, maybe seven depending.”
“I know James, you’ve discussed this ten times,” he drawls, “just- go bother them. Not me.”
James laughs, and he waves at the people in his house. Gathering his cloak. “Since when are you and Potter a thing?” he hears Evan ask.
“Shut up, we’re not,” Regulus answers, “he’s just got plans.”
“And he prefers to give you his kid instead of Evans, sure.".
James smiles to himself as he steps out into the setting sun. It’s a quick walk to Remus and Sirius’ place. He knocks on the door, waiting. He’s learned not to walk into their place the night of the full moon without waiting for them to open the door. Unless he wanted to be growled at while seeing parts of Sirius he really didn’t need to see.
“Give us a few!” Sirius calls out breathlessly, and James laughs, sitting down on the stoop. He watches his own house, the windows open and laughter already coming from there. He smiles, it’s good that Regulus feels comfortable enough to have his friends over.
He yelps as the door opens making him fall backwards. “Remus is in the shower,” Sirius drawls looking down. He’s completely dishevelled but completely unbothered by the fact.
“Not you?” he drawls.
Sirius grins, “nope,” he says, “you know how he is, not happy until I smell more like him than like myself,” he says happily, and James makes a face, just for the fact. He knew, but still, gross. “Stop looking like that, Jamie,” Sirius says, already sitting down. “It’s been well established,” he says. And he grins, “I sometimes love the full moon,” he sighs, sitting down.
“I’m happy you scar me, and not Reg,” he says.
“How is he?” Sirius asks softly, “still good?”
“Of course, you saw him yesterday. He’s got a couple of friends over, and he’s watching Harry, so I think he’s getting better,” he says. He doesn’t want to invade his privacy too much, so he doesn’t say anything about hearing Regulus scream from nightmares. It’s not up to him to say that.
“Good, good,” Sirius wrings his hands, “I don’t like thinking of him alone,” he says. “He needs people.”
James smiles as he puts his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “he’s got us, pads, and his friends. They were already laughing together. He’ll be happy like this. They’re different than I thought they’d be,” he adds.
“Reggie’s friends? Still hanging around with that Rosier and Crouch?”
“Yeah, Barty reminds me of you,” he adds, “he’s got a couple of tattoos less and less metal, but it’s close,” he grins.
Sirius snorts, before his eyes widen, “you’re serious?”
James grins, “nah, that’s you,” he laughs, and he jumps away from Sirius’ fist. He laughs as he grabs the cookies on the table, “I am though,” he adds, “I think they’re good people. Seemed like people he needs around.”
Sirius smiles softly towards himself, “good,” he says, “he needs his own friends. Can’t be too dependent on us because then it’d be weird if you started getting into his pants.”
James chokes on his food. “I wouldn’t,” he mutters.
“Not as long as he’s dependent on you,” Sirius says, “but we both knew you had a crush on him, like, in the past, before you and Lils.” James’ cheeks pink. He’s not wrong. He just thought he had hidden it better. “And I see how you look at him,” he adds.
“I don’t look at him any special way,” he mutters.
Sirius sends him an unimpressed look. Had he really been looking at him in a specific kind of way? He’s had Regulus in his house for just over a week, but he really didn’t think he’d been looking weirdly. Just, looking. Admiring the view. Oh, he blushes, he might have been looking at him in a special way. “Right,” he says softly.
Sirius laughs and claps his shoulder, “hurt him and I’ll cut your dick off,” Sirius says cheerily, before slipping away, “Moony! Are you nearly done? Or do you need me to come help you,” he says cheerily.
James makes a face, and Remus laughs, calling out that he’ll be out in a moment.
He’s wearing thick joggers and a sweater. No shoes at all. “Let’s go,” he says throwing an arm around James and pressing his nose to his cheek. James arches his neck a little, they’ve definitely passed the awkwardness around Remus’ scenting habits during the moon. Besides, he likes being tactile. “You smell like Regulus,” he says confused.
“I might have accidentally stolen his sweater,” James answers, ignoring Sirius' smirking face. “Shut up,” he says sending a kick his way. Remus laughs into his neck, before he pulls back again, and just walks with his arm around James’ shoulder. He might be a little gone for the boy, without realising.
***
James yawns as he opens the door, walking like a zombie. But there’s a happy laugh, followed by another, and he smiles, as he slides into the living room. “Potter,” Barty drawls looking up, “you look like shit.”
“Wow, thanks,” he drawls, yawning and inhaling the coffee eagerly. “I didn’t expect you two to still be here,” he adds, looking at the couple. He doesn’t miss the way that Regulus’ shoulders freeze for a moment, “guess y’all had fun,” he says.
“We did,” Barty nearly purrs, and James hides a scowl, instead coming over and grabbing the monitor. “Your mini-me is still sleeping,” Barty adds with a laugh.
“Good,” he yawns, “Reg,” he says, “do-“ he yawns again, “mind to-“ he yawns.
“Merlin, go to sleep you,” Regulus says looking up from the breakfast he’s making. “You look dead on your feet. I’ll take care of him, it’s not trouble. Really.”
James smiles, and he holds back the happy way he wants to smack a kiss on Regulus’ cheek. “Thanks, you’re amazing,” he yawns, “boys,” he makes a saluting motion, before dragging himself upstairs. He’s pretty sure there’s dirt in his hair. But he needs to sleep and he’s out like a light before he can even undress.
***
Regulus is fidgeting in the living room by the time James comes back down. Harry is playing with crayons at the table. “I should have asked if it was okay for them to stay, shouldn’t I?” he says quickly.
“What?” he yawns, “oh nah, it’s fine, just surprised,” he says. “They’re fine.” He picks Harry up when he holds out his arms, wanting cuddles. He flops down beside Regulus, “you’re an angel for taking care of him, really,” he says, “don’t want to make you do that, sorry.”
“It’s fine, James,” Regulus answers half laughing. “Consider it my rent, I pay in babysitting duties. Since you won’t take money.”
James laughs, grinning over Harry’s head. He watches Regulus, already back buried in his book now that his worries are taken care of. It lets James just stare for a little, watching him. The sun is shining into the room and illuminating them. Regulus looks so comfortable, and James can’t help but feel pleased that he feels like that. Because he knows that Regulus would not feel comfortable at Grimmauld Place.
“I talked with my friends last night, about the whole situation,” Regulus says and James blinks. He’d been daydreaming a little too much clearly. “They reminded me that now that I’m the head of the house instead of heir, that I have the funds to buy or rent my own place,” he says, “so, I thought I could start looking around,” he says, and he peeks over at James, “maybe still somewhere around here,” he adds softly.
“Yeah? I think that sounds good,” James says brightly, “you could rent a place here. Have your own place, but not, away.” He blushes and looks away. He shouldn’t be too overwhelming, “I’m sure there are some places that are exactly what you’d want. But you don’t have to move until you’re ready,” he says sincerely.
Regulus smiles, “I know,” he whispers, “I’ll start looking after the funeral, I have enough on my mind as it is.” James sighs, and he ignores the look on Regulus’ face. He can’t help but be glad he can be there for him at least until his mother is really buried. “I should probably start sending out invitations for that.”
“Hey Reg,” he says as he sits up, “if- if you want I can come, you know. So you’re not there, alone.”
Regulus smiles, “thank you for the offer,” he says softly, “but you don’t need to. I know you didn’t like her,” he adds.
“I didn’t,” James answers honestly, “but I mean, I might not be the perfect Pureblood, having married and divorced and all that. But I am the head of the Potters. Technically it would be expected for me to be there anyway. And I would have skipped, but not if it can help you,” he smiles.
“Oh,” Regulus whispers, “then, yeah, if you really don’t mind.”
“I don’t,” he says, “really.” He’s surprised when Regulus hugs him, but he smiles, hugging him back. “You need help addressing the letters?” he asks, following him to the table. Regulus nods, and he pushes over half of the cards.
***
The funeral comes and goes, and Regulus starts looking for a new place. He takes up James’ offer to come along and they tour some of the smaller homes and the apartments in Godric’s Hollow. Nothing feels just as comfortable as being in Potters cottage, but he can’t stay there. Not with- well with his feelings for James. It’s hard enough to see the man walking out of the bathroom in low-slung jeans. Or hearing him enjoy himself. He needs a place of his own, where he can just be, without spontaneously combusting from his feelings.
He’s pretty sure that he’s not the only one feeling this. James smiles at him and has this proclivity for just staring towards him. Watching him as he writes, or even watching him draw now that he’s taken that up again.
“Oh,” he says, looking around. The place is above a little bookshop. Not far from Sirius and Remus’ shop. It’s close to James and it’s cosy. There’s light coming through the windows and a large bedroom for himself, and the living room is nice and warm. It’s not too big, but also not so small that he doesn’t have enough space.
“It’s nice,” James says, leaning against the kitchen counter. It’s not a very nice kitchen, but he doesn’t particularly like cooking as it is. He likes it a lot more when James is there beside him, babbling. Or Harry who tries to help and instead messes up most of the time.
“Yeah,” he says softly, it is. It’ll be good enough at least. “It’s nice,” he says. He looks at the lady beside them, who’s smiling. “I’ll take it,” he says, nodding. “When can I move in?”
“The last tenant will move out at the end of the month,” she says, “we’ll do a walk-through after and then you can move in the next week. We’ll inform you of the time, and we will sign the documents. I was informed you didn’t have a phone?”
“No, I don’t, but he does,” he says, nodding to James, “I’m renting a room at his place, so he’ll answer for me,” he sends a grin to him, and he nearly smirks at the flush on James’ skin. But he nods at the lady anyway.
“Alright, that works,” she says, and she smiles, “I’m glad you found the right place, Mister Black,” she adds, “I’m glad I could be of service.”
Regulus smiles and he follows her and James down the stairs. He’s got his own place soon, and maybe after he and James could see if what’s between them is worth exploring.
***
“C’mon, you have to come, James,” Regulus sighs, “it’s a housewarming. Don’t worry, you won’t just be surrounded by Slytherins and Ravenclaws,” he adds, “my brother and Remus are coming too,” he adds.
“Alright,” James says, and he smiles, watching Remus grin in answer. It’s not like he really was trying to say no. It’s just nice to be wanted. To be asked to be there. “Harry’s at Lily’s place for the weekend,” he adds, “so it’s nice to relax and have fun.”
Regulus laughs and smiles, “good,” he says, “now use those muscles for some good and help me carry my boxes.” James’ face feels nearly aflame, but he can’t help but preen a little. He does try to stay in shape even though he’s a dad now. And a divorcé.
He easily lifts one of the boxes, following Regulus out of his place and towards his. It takes most of the day, but Regulus works quickly, flicking his wand and letting his things soar into place without a blink.
He makes his bed, and James orders the kitchen a little. “There,” he says, “you’ll need food, and drinks if you’re having a party,” he drawls.
“Yeah, I know,” Regulus grabs his coat, and his wallet. “I won’t keep you longer, go bother my brother, and make sure that he actually does come,” he adds. Shooing him out of his home.
James is nearly whistling. Grinning as he slips into Sirius and Remus’ shop. It smells delicious as always and he waves towards the girl behind the counter. Remus looking through their vinyls and books. “I expected you sooner, now that your home’s empty again,” Remus jokes.
James smiles, “I was helping Reg set up for the party,” he says, “you are both coming, right?” Remus nods slowly, and James smiles, “good, where’s Pads?”
“Probably in the office, he was planning some music or something? He had all these plans,” Remus shrugs, “and he’s doing the books.”
“Imma bother him then,” he says with a grin, and he dodges Remus’ swipe, laughing as he slips past the door for employees only. “Hey pads, something I can help with?”
“So you can stop thinking about my brother now being all good and independent?” Sirius asks, looking up. “If you’re for real you can check the numbers." James nods, sitting down. So what if he needs a distraction for tonight?
***
The music is loud, and their bodies are loose from the drinks and food. He laughs, dancing around Sirius. Sirius laughs loudly, moving gracefully into Remus’ arms.
“You’re a horrible dancer.” James turns around, grinning at Regulus who’s looking at him wide-eyed.
“I know,” James says happily, moving his arms around jerkily. “Dad tried to teach me loads of times, but I have no rhythm.”
“I can see that,” Regulus laughs, moving around easily. God, how can he be so sexy? “And here I thought you were perfect, good to know even James Potter has a flaw,” he says eyes twinkling.
“Perfect, huh?” he asks, grinning. He can’t help but move closer, and his hand falls on Regulus’ hip. “You think I’m perfect?”
Regulus scoffs, cheeks red now, “not anymore, I know you snore,” he says, sniffing, “and suck at dancing.”
James grins anyway, and he can’t help but look down, his eyes are caught in Regulus’. Even though they’re so similar to Sirius’ something about them makes them entirely his own. “I want to kiss you,” he blurts out.
Regulus laughs, “good,” he murmurs, and he curls his arms around James’ neck, and pulls him down. James nearly moans into his mouth, finally feeling Regulus’ lips on his. He hears someone call out, and others laugh. But he really can’t be bothered to care if people are watching them. Because Regulus’ fingers are threading through the nape of his neck, and it feels wonderful.
Regulus breaks off their kiss, “hm, of course you’re a good kisser too,” he huffs and James laughs into his mouth. “Should’ve known, kind of guessed,” he adds.
James laughs louder, and he takes a small step back. Regulus makes an unhappy sound and James grins at him, “dance with me,” he murmurs. Regulus rolls his eyes, but he lets him go, dancing gracefully as James hops around them. He grins brightly, uncaring that Sirius and Remus saw. Or that Reg’s friends watched them. He’s pretty sure that Evan and Barty are too preoccupied anyway and Pandora would have guessed what was going to happen. He can’t help but grin at Sirius, who rolls his eyes but smiles at him anyway. It’s about as much approval as he’ll get right now.
They dance, and laugh, and play some games. Regulus throws his feet over his lap unbothered, tucking himself into his side. It’s not the first time they’ve somewhat cuddled. Regulus had thawed and become more tactile during his stay with him, but it’s nice that he’s just claiming space.
Slowly his friends leave, Sirius dragging Remus behind him. Pandora being picked up by her funky husband. Evan and Barty slip away unseen. Suddenly he’s left alone, with Regulus. Regulus who looks so pleased with himself, easily straddles his lap. “I’m sure there are things we’ll have to discuss, and you’ll have to take me on a proper date,” he adds, “but right now I want to kiss you a lot more, and maybe take you into my bedroom to try out my new mattress. Anything against that?”
James looks at him wide-eyed, before he shakes his head quickly, no, nothing against that at all. Regulus grins and kisses him again. James groans, pulling him as close as he can be, slowly licking into Regulus’ mouth until Regulus is giving those sweet little sounds he’s becoming quickly addicted to.
Regulus pulls back, panting, before he steps off of James’ lap. James wants to whine and pout, but Reg holds out his hand and he blushes sweetly. James grins, grabbing his hand and letting him lead him down to his bedroom. Thank god Lily’s god Harry.
***
“You look,” Lily looks at him, and she hides a laugh, “like you’re glad you didn’t have Harry last night,” she finishes.
James runs his fingers through his hair. It’s an absolute mess because Regulus’ fingers would never stop tugging at it. He fucking loved it. “Yeah,” he says, breathless. “But I’m happy to have him back too,” he says, looking over to his little boy, already playing with his stuffies.
Lily smiles softly, and she fiddles with her cup of tea, “so what’s her name?” she asks softly.
James blushes, “his,” he says softly, “it’s Reggie,” he confesses. Lily’s eyebrow rises. “He moved into his own place yesterday, and, well-,” he laughs helplessly, “apparently that was enough for Reg to decide he was done waiting.”
“So you’re- huh,” she smiles softly, “I’m happy for you James, he’s a good guy.” James smiles, happy. He is so good. Which is kind of unexpected. He’d shied away when James had looked at the dark mark on his arm, but James kissed it without care. He wanted everything Regulus had to offer. Shitty past and scars and dark marks and all. Just like Regulus wanted all of him. Kid and all. “Are you going to keep seeing each other?”
James nods eagerly, “we have a date planned for tomorrow,” he blushes, “Harry’s gonna come along because he loves Reggie too,” he says with a grin. Lily laughs, even though she seems in thought, “what?” he asks.
“Nothing, I mean,” she sighs, “be careful? With the both of you,” she says, “you’re- well- Harry’s got your heart, not mine,” she says softly, “I don’t want him to hurt because it doesn’t end well.”
“I know that we didn’t work out, Lils,” he says gently, “and I’m not saying that I regret what we had. But, the thing between me and Reg, it’s real. I know it is. In a way I knew that, that we weren’t going to last.”
Lily looks at him, “just, be careful,” she says, before she drains her cup, “I have to go, Fillius wants me to come over and sign my apprenticeship papers.” She presses a kiss to his cheek, “have fun, just be careful.”
James watches her give Harry a kiss, before she leaves again. He gets it. For her he was too much, too big and too brash, and to soon with his love. She didn’t want Harry to expect another person in his life only to lose it. It made sense, but Regulus, he felt right. He felt perfect.
***
“You made it a month,” Evan drawls, putting his books in the boxes, “a month living alone and you’re moving back in with Potter.”
“You can call him James,” Regulus drawls, even though he’s grinning. “And yes and fuck off. You and Barty practically got engaged a week after sucking each other’s tongues. Barty got your name tattooed on his arm.”
Barty shrugs unrepentant, grinning. “He’s not wrong,” he hums. “And you’re not us. You’re carefully planned. Everything you do is meticulously planned and thought out and written down. This with James, it’s-“
“It’s right,” Regulus says softly, “It’s perfect and amazing. I mean, it’s not completely perfect, but you know, it’s- it’s so good. I- God you can’t-“ he groans, “this is not something I need to plan,” he says, smiling like a lunatic. God James has made him soft, “I know that this is what I want.”
“Two rich boys raising a toddler together,” Evan huffs, “fine, but only because I’ve never seen you this happy. I’ll call him James.” He grins, “can’t believe you’re a stepfather,” he laughs. Regulus rolls his eyes, but he flushes. Yeah, he kind of is. “God, you’re awful,” Evan grumbles, “can’t even make fun of you, you like it too much.”
He tosses a package over, and Regulus catches it easily, frowning down.
“It’s something I cooked up,” Evan says, “call it a housewarming gift. Lust potion imbued chocolate. It’ll get you very horny, trust me.”
“Fuck, I loved those,” Barty says dramatically, nearly draping himself over Evan, “you made some for us too, right?” Evan grins devilishly at him, and yeah alright enough said. Regulus’ cheeks feel warm. It’s not like they need lust potion, their sex life is very satisfying, thank you very much. But sometimes it feels like James is holding back and this would, well, lower both their inhibitions.
“Thank you, I’ll put them to good use,” he says grinning.
“Eat half of one each,” he says, “especially for the first time. Ask him if he’s allergic to something first though, and owl me if he is. I’ll be able to tell you if it’s in there or not.”
“He’s not allergic to anything,” he answers. Both his friends are grinning, “what? I should know if my boyfriend’s allergic to something, shouldn’t I?” he huffs.
“You’re smitten, it’s actually kind of cute,” Evan says. Regulus sticks out his tongue. Yes, he is well aware thank you very much. They might not have said I love you yet, but the words have been on the tip of his tongue for over a week already.
***
James looks at him, eyes wide. “You- really?” he asks breathlessly.
Regulus blushes, “I thought, well, if you wanted to try,” he whispers.
James can’t help himself, eagerly grabbing Regulus’ face and kissing him. Sometimes Lily’s words were still in the back of his mind. Be careful, don’t be too much. But then Regulus did something like this. Something that would make him forget kind of everything but the man before him. Something that would make all his brakes disappear. Would force him to be as much as he is inside.
“I love you,” he breathes out, against Regulus’ parted lips. He hears his breath hitch; the way Regulus’ hand tightens on his shoulder. “You don’t have to-“
“I love you,” Regulus breathes out, kissing him hard, “god I do,” he whimpers. “I want- want all of you, every little piece.”
James pulls back, watching Regulus’ eyes. “Grab a piece,” he breathes out and Regulus’ eyes go even darker, a flush on his cheek as he grabs one of the chocolate pieces.
He opens his mouth and Regulus presses half of the tab into his mouth. The chocolate melts in seconds, leaving the aftertaste of chocolate, mixed with something that he truly can only describe as Regulus. He’s pretty sure that his amortentia would have the scent he’s got on his tongue now. Regulus gives that sweet moan of pleasure as the chocolate melts in his mouth.
His eyelids flutter a little, eyes darkening. “Fuck,” James groans, it’s very potent that’s for sure. It makes his entire body feel like it’s on fire. But in a way that makes him hungry for the man before him. “Up, now,” he growls, and Regulus nearly scrambles to hurry up the stairs and into their bedroom.
James follows after him with fast strides. He’s already achingly hard, and yet all he wants to do is bury his face between Regulus’ cheeks and pleasure him until he’s screaming.
He turns off all the lights downstairs and takes two steps at a time up the stairs. Regulus is on their bed, already naked and looking fucking perfect. “Fuck this is strong,” Regulus pants, his eyes are nearly blown, his body pink and his cock already leaking against his stomach.
James takes a moment to breathe, the windows are open, which is a good thing, probably. Though, not with what he plans to do. No one is allowed to hear Regulus moan. No one but him. The windows close with a bang.
Regulus shivers. “James,” he whimpers, arching. “Please.”
James’ clothes disappear with a flick of his wand, and he is on Regulus a second later, their bodies coming together. His cock slides between Regulus’ thighs, and he watches the way his eyelids flutter, a soft sweet moan coming from his lips.
Their kiss is frantic and yet filled with fire, sloppy and perfect. They’re both panting, grinding against each other like teenagers. James’ fingers slide down, between their bodies and Regulus shivers as he slides his fingers over the head of his cock. “You’re so eager,” he murmurs pleased.
Regulus whimpers softly, a sweet little sound that James absolutely loves. The sounds he’s only been earning for a month now and the sound he would gladly hear every day. He kisses him again, slowly kissing him as he lets his fingers slide all over his sweet body. Teasing below his balls where he knows Regulus wants him.
James grins as he pulls apart, watching for a moment. Regulus’ eyes are lidded, pupils blown, cheeks red. He’s panting, making soft whining moans. His head arched back; lips parted. James might not be the artist of the two, but if he could draw he would draw this sight a hundred times over.
“James,” he whimpers, and James is pulled out of his admiring gaze, and he smirks, before sliding down Regulus’ body. He kisses skin, kisses scars, and lets his tongue slide over sensitive skin. Regulus’ legs are spread when he finally arrives between them, and he hums pleased, rubbing his hands over his thighs, holding them open to see his prize.
James eagerly lets his tongue slide over skin, before he wraps his lips around Regulus’ cock. He looks up, and watches as Regulus’ back bows, one hand grasping at his hair. James grins, sucking languidly, hands sliding over pale skin.
All he can think about is him, Regulus arched on their bed, shivering and moaning from pleasure. He watches as he moves, grabbing at the bedding below them, grabbing at the pillow. He feels his thighs quiver beneath his hands, and he slides one finger inside him, arching up. He can’t help but groan when Regulus’ first orgasm crashes over them.
He can’t feel it, but the sight alone makes him grab his cock, staving off his orgasm. He’s definitely not ready to come yet. He slides his tongue over the head, soothing his orgasm tenderly. He pulls back, giving the tender flesh a moment, arching up and kissing his love sloppily. Regulus is panting and shivering, moaning into their kiss. James grins, and Regulus gives a laughing groan as James eases a second finger inside him. James watches, Regulus’ cock is still hard, and already leaking against his stomach again. He’s shivering with each touch to that little bundle of pleasure, arching into his fingers, urging for more.
James watches and watches, aching to be inside, but also to be back where he was, maybe open Regulus up with his mouth and his fingers. Regulus moans and grins up at him. Before he flips them over, grinning as he hangs over James’ body.
He’s rocking his hips, grinding his body onto the three fingers still inside him. James moans helplessly, watching his body move. Regulus pulls his hand away and grinds his arse onto his cock. He grins, grabbing the bottle of lube and dribbling lube onto his cock.
James’ cock twitches, aching. He grabs Regulus’ thighs, watching enamoured as Regulus reaches between their bodies, positioning him just right, before grinding back onto his cock. They moan together, and James’ eyes squeeze closed. It’s so good, being inside him. The pleasure is coursing through his body, consuming him entirely.
Regulus isn’t much better, curled over him, face buried in his neck. James groans softly, carting his fingers through his hair. “God I love you,” James groans, and Regulus laughs, grinning brightly as he pulls back.
“Yeah?” he murmurs, and he rolls his hips slowly, “why don’t you show me how much,” he whispers in his ear, and he laughs again as James eagerly rolls them back around.
James kisses him, rocking his hips and he feels Regulus’ nails dig into his skin as he starts thrusting properly. He’s giving sweet moaning gasps as James fucks him hard. Their bed thumps into the wall and he’s bloody glad his son’s not home because he can’t stop. Can’t slow down, not with the way Regulus is moaning helplessly, arching and shaking below him.
The way he’s breathlessly kissing him back, and James bites his lower lip, earning a whine in answer. He lets go, pressing their foreheads together, forcing Regulus to either close his eyes or look at him. Their eyes remain locked, and it makes every sensation double, deep pleasure, and love. So much love.
“James,” Regulus gasps, grabbing his face, and pulling him closer, a leg curling around his waist, the other around his thigh. Intertwined.
“Fuck,” he groans, and he moves a little, leaning on one arm, his other sliding between their bodies. Regulus’ eyelids fall closed body arching, a low moan coming from him. “Gonna-“ he gasps.
James groans in agreement and he feels Regulus come. His body tightening around him, his fingers digging into his skin, thighs clamping against his hips. That lovely gasping moan. Maybe not a scream but somehow, this feels better. Watching as Regulus lets go completely, uncaring of his eyes.
He braces himself a little better before he keeps going, rocking into him with hard thrusts, groaning in pleasure. He’s nearly bursting, but- Regulus' eyes slide open, and he smiles, and he can’t hold back. Trembling in his arms as he comes, groaning, gasping out his name.
It takes a while before he can think again, easing their bodies apart. He watches Regulus’ blissed-out face. The slow breath. They curl together, kissing lazily. But the potion is still in their body and Regulus starts teasing his skin, sliding fingers up and down his stomach, over his thighs.
James watches, helpless as Regulus sits up, smirking. For a moment he thinks he’ll straddle him again, but he watches as Regulus instead grabs the lube dribbling it onto his fingers, smirking at him.
James grins eagerly, rolling around and spreading his legs, arching his hips. He’ll have to send Evan a thank you note.
***
It’s a good thing that Lily only brings Harry over in the afternoon. Because they, kind of, don’t sleep. Sure, there are some naps, but they can’t stop touching each other till the sun is already rising. Regulus is sore everywhere and James is well, winching when he sits down. He can’t help but be a little smug about that.
He ignores the owl tapping their window until he gets too loud, letting the bugger in. He unties the letter and shoos him out. James pulls him against his skin, nuzzling him. “Who’s that?” He asks.
Regulus opens the letter, scanning it, “Evan,” he says, “says that he might have overdone it with the potion and to take a quarter first and wishes us both luck if we already tried it. Apparently, it’s a lot more effective than his last batch, and that one had them going for a good two hours.”
James snorts, “it’s morning,” he yawns, “think we exceeded the two hours by, oh, six?” Regulus shivers when his fingers slide over naked skin, “hm, one more round? I’ll be gentle,” he purrs. Regulus can’t do much but spread his legs and pull them close to his chest, letting the letter flutter to the floor. He grins, he’ll tell Evan to not worry later. Regulus liked his present very much, and he’ll definitely buy some more once they’re out in his shop. There’s nothing quite like having your boyfriend consumed by his wants and letting it eagerly.
***
Regulus is barely dressed, for his standards. Pants slung low on his hips, a short-sleeved shirt hugging his shoulders. James kind of really has to hold himself back to not, well, push him into the wall and devour his lips. He knows now, after last night, that Regulus quite likes it when he gets overwhelmed with his love for him. But they’re waiting for Lily with Harry, and Sirius and Remus are coming over.
“Coffee,” Regulus groans, walking into the living room, “so much coffee.”
James laughs, grinning wickedly, nodding at the two cups he has already. Every muscle aches and his body is completely exhausted, but he can’t be bothered to regret anything, and he’s already spotted the other chocolates on the table. They’ll keep those for the future.
“You should write to Evan, tell him thank you, for me,” James grins, and he laughs when Regulus drops himself onto his lap uncaring. He grabs his cup, downing half in a second. James splutters out a laugh.
He hears the door open. He’d already known that Sirius and Remus were there, he’d felt them cross the wards. “Prongs?” Sirius calls out.
“Living room!” he calls back out, and he nuzzles his face into Regulus’ neck. “So how long till it’s completely worked out, do you think?” he asks, grinning at his brothers. Remus makes a face as his nose actually twitches, but he doesn’t say anything because he is classy.
“Bloody hell, Prongs, did you become a vampire and decide to maul my brother?” he asks, looking at Regulus’ neck, practically covered in hickeys.
James just shrugs, grinning. Look, he’s proud to have Regulus as his lover, and he doesn’t care that people will know. “I bloody hope it’s soon, I’m going to fucking-“ Regulus starts, but he jumps off of James’ lap, and James looks away from his playful scowl to Sirius. Watching as Regulus slaps Remus’ hand away from the chocolates. “No,” he says, packing them up, and rushing away.
“What’s that about?” Sirius asks, confused.
“They were a gift, from his friends. They’re, ah, infused chocolates,” he can’t help but grin.
“Ew ew ew. That’s my brother,” Sirius says, shivering.
James grins, “now you know how I feel when I walk in on you two,” he huffs, and he beams when he hears the doorbell ring.
“I got it!” Regulus calls out, opening the door. He hears him and Lily chatter before the door closes again, and Regulus walks in with Harry on his hip. Harry beams when he sees everyone in the living room.
“Daddy,” he says happily, eagerly trying to get to him and James takes him in his arms. He nuzzles his face into his hair. James kisses over his face, smiling when Harry giggles happily.
He grins when Regulus drops a box of chocolates on the table and comes back to his side. “You can eat those,” he mutters, “they’re amazing.”
James laughs, and he smiles happily. All the people he loves are in one room. He just misses Lily but she’s likely busy. But this, this little room of people, his brothers, lover and baby boy. That’s really all that he needs.