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Everything is fine.
Techno tells himself this over and over again, as bruises bloom on his skin and blood trickles down his arm and ropes dig into his wrists. Every day, over and over again, everything is fine.
They’re his parents, after all. They wouldn’t do this unless they had a good reason. If Techno wasn’t such a difficult kid, if he listened better, if he obeyed, if he was good, they wouldn’t have to hurt him.
They remind him of that every time, after all.
“I wouldn’t have to do this to you if you just did what you were told,” his mum hisses when she leaves him tied up in his closet- where he’ll stay for two days, hungry and thirsty and sitting in his own filth, before she lets him out.
“If you behaved, I wouldn’t have had to hit you,” his dad says when Techno sits crumpled in the corner of the living room, curled around his hurting ribs.
If he was good, if he paid attention, if he if he if he-
Techno’s not good enough for them, and he doesn’t know how to be better. He tries so hard and it’s not enough, it’s never enough, and he doesn’t know what else to do.
He’s quiet. He sits still. He stays in his room almost all the time and only comes out for meals when they call him to come eat. He doesn’t go out of the house and he does his lessons in the schoolbooks his mum gives him and he doesn’t complain.
And Techno’s still not good enough.
He still gets locked in his room every night and doesn’t get to eat more often than not and gets tied up a lot but it’s his own fault. It’s because he’s still messing up. He needs to be better. He needs to be good.
Techno is in his closet again.
He’s tied up- he always is, when he has to go in the closet- and his dad made the ropes extra tight this time and his hands are kind of tingly. He kind of thinks that’s a bad thing, but he can’t really do anything about it.
He’s being good.
He’s being quiet, even though there are sirens outside and people are yelling and he’s scared. He’s being good. He’s sitting still and staying quiet and waiting for all of it to go away, for his mum and dad to let him out. They always do, eventually, even if it takes a long, long time sometimes.
He’s being so good that he doesn’t move even when the bedroom door slams against the wall. Even though that probably means his dad is really, really mad and is gonna come hit him again. He can’t stop it, and he deserves it, so he stays still and hopes that maybe, maybe this time, he was good enough. Maybe his dad will change his mind.
“Holy shit, they were right.”
Techno frowns a little bit- it’s dark, his dad won’t see, he tells himself- because he’s surprised. The voice doesn’t belong to either of his parents.
But if it’s not his mum or dad then who-
“Check the other door, the kid’s gotta be in here somewhere.”
Techno still doesn’t move. He’s being good.
So he doesn’t move, even when the closet door opens and he has to blink hard because of the bright light after sitting in the dark for so long.
Silence. Techno glances up- without moving his head, because he’s good- squinting at the stranger standing in his room.
Her hair is pastel pink, pulled back in a low ponytail. She’s wearing a dark blue uniform and hat, and she has something on her belt that looks kind of like the gun Techno’s dad has.
She just stares at him, eyes wide and her whole face twisted up in something… scared, maybe. Or shocked.
“Niki, what’s- oh my god.” A man stops beside her, staring at Techno with the same kind of expression. He’s wearing the same kind of uniform, and he’s almost bald. It looks weird.
“We-” Her voice cracks, and she shakes herself a bit. “Call it in, let them know we found the kid.”
“Is he even breathing?”
Techno is, just really shallow and quiet. He’s slumped in the corner, the way his dad left him. His hands are going kind of numb.
The woman- Niki, right?- kneels, reaching for Techno. His breath hitches, but he doesn’t move. He’s being good-
She brushes his hair back, pressing two fingers against a spot on his neck. Techno closes his eyes, even though he wants to know what’s going on- he doesn’t want to see it coming when she hurts him, it won’t be as bad that way.
“Yeah,” she says quickly, “yeah, he’s alive, call it in Jack. Tell them to roll an ambulance.”
Fingers start picking at the ropes, and Techno’s eyes fly open again. She’s- is she untying him? Why would she do that? The punishment isn’t over yet-
“You’re okay,” she says, glancing up at him. Her voice shakes. “You’re gonna be okay, honey, just hold on, okay? Hold on for me.”
Techno stays still, watching her through the hair that falls over his face. He- he’s been good, is this- was it finally enough? Did his parents send her to let him out?
“I’m gonna get you out of these, can- can you tell me your name? What’s your name, sweetie?”
She… she must not know the rules. Techno’s not allowed to talk when there’s anybody around. He’s not supposed to talk at all, but he does sometimes, when his parents aren’t home. Just to himself. And to Carl, the toy he made with some socks and a marker.
“What’s your name?” she repeats, starting to pull the ropes off his arms. His hands are still numb for a bit, but then they start to hurt, like sharp things being stuck in them.
She’s taking the ropes off, and the door is open, so the punishment must be over. That means Techno’s allowed to move, at least a little bit. He shakes his head, hoping she understands.
“Can you talk?” she asks, starting to work on the rope around his legs.
Techno swallows nervously. Nods, just a tiny bit.
“Good. Are you hurt?”
The man comes back over. “The ambulance is about ten minutes out,” he says, squatting in the doorway. “How’s he doin’?”
Niki doesn’t answer- Techno doesn’t think so. He’s too busy staring at Jack, breathing shallow and light again. Jack is sitting really, really close- he would hardly have to move to hurt Techno-
“Hey- hey, kid, you’re okay,” Jack says. He shifts back slightly. “Try to take some deep breaths.”
Techno flinches when Jack reaches for him- immediately he freezes up, because he was bad, he’s not supposed to try to get away from punishment-
Jack leans away, pulling his hands back. “Shit, kid, I’m sorry. I’m not gonna hurt’cha.”
The rope falls away from his legs, and Techno glances back at Niki as her hand wraps around his, rubbing gently. It makes it hurt more, but she rubs his hands gently, one at a time, until they start to feel… better?
He hears sirens again, and keeps himself painfully still so he doesn’t flinch again. Niki’s still holding his hands.
“That’ll be the ambulance,” Jack says. “I’m gonna go get them, stay with him?”
Niki nods. As Jack goes, she smiles at Techno. It’s strange- his mum and dad don’t smile, not at him.
It looks a little sad, though.
“It’s okay if you’re not ready to talk,” she says softly. “But you can, if you want to. And I- I’d really appreciate if you could tell me your name.”
He closes his eyes. “T-” His voice gets stuck, comes out really really quiet. “Techno.”
“Techno?” Niki repeats. He nods, and she squeezes his hands, just barely. “You’re safe now, Techno. You’re gonna be okay.”
He doesn’t believe her. He can’t. His parents are gonna find out he spoke, and he’ll be in trouble-
“Techno, did your mom and dad do this to you?” Niki asks softly.
Techno gasps in a breath. He- he doesn’t want to answer, but lying is bad, he’s not allowed to lie, so he nods.
“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” Niki looks sad. “You’re safe,” she repeats. “They’re getting locked up, they’re never gonna hurt you again, I promise, Techno.”
They- what? What? No, that’s not- not right…
A couple of other people come in, Techno’s breath hitches painfully and he flinches away. Niki just keeps a gentle hold on his hands.
“Shh, it’s just the paramedics, it’s okay,” she says softly. “They’re gonna have a quick look at you and make sure you’re not hurt.”
He- he doesn’t think he wants that-
“Hey, buddy,” one of the paramedics says, squatting beside him. “My name’s Bad, this is my partner Skeppy. We just wanna make sure you’re alright, does that sound okay?”
Techno glances at the other guy- he has bright blue hair, and he grins a little when Techno looks at him.
“I’ve got cool stickers,” he says. “You like stickers, kid?”
Techno doesn’t know what he means. He glances between them, he knows he’s not supposed to stare but he can’t help it.
“They’re gonna take good care of you,” Niki says, and he turns his head quickly to look at her. She’s smiling a bit, still sad. “And I’m gonna stay right with you, does that sound good?”
That does make him feel a little bit better, actually.
Techno still hasn’t moved. Bad shifts. “Can we get you outta that closet, buddy?” he asks softly.
Techno’s not allowed to move, he’s not, he- he can’t-
“It’s okay,” Niki says softly. She looks right in his eyes. “You don’t have to stay here, Techno, it’s okay to leave now.”
It… it is?
She untied him, so the punishment is over… and she let him talk, so… so maybe it’s okay to move, too?
Techno leans forward slightly. He’s shaking all over, he doesn’t- he’s scared-
“Good, that’s good,” Niki murmurs. She pulls on his arms- just a little bit, not enough to hurt. “C’mon, you’re gonna be okay.”
Techno tries to move, he really does, but it’s- he’s so scared. After a minute Bad leans closer, resting his arms on his knees. “Techno, right? I’m gonna pick you up, okay?”
He looks back at Niki, terrified, and she nods. “It’s okay,” she says. “He’s not gonna hurt you.”
Bad slides his arms under Techno’s back and knees, pulling him closer. Techno’s shaking, but he stays limp and lets them do what they want. He- he has to be good.
Niki doesn’t let go of his hand as Bad carries him downstairs, through the hall. His parents aren’t there- there are more people in blue uniforms, walking around and taking pictures.
Bad doesn’t stop, though, and Techno panics when he realizes Bad is gonna go out the door. He’s- he’s not allowed to go outside- he can’t-
He can’t stop it.
Bad steps right through the door, and Techno is outside.
He’s never been outside.
The sunshine is-it’s warm. Techno didn’t think it would be so warm.
Bad doesn’t stop, walking past a black car that says police on the side and to a bigger white thing that kind of looks like a truck. Skeppy opens the doors, and Bad climbs inside, putting Techno down on a kind of bed.
Niki sits on it with him, and holds his hands. She doesn’t let go the whole time, while Bad and Skeppy ask him a lot of questions that he doesn’t have to talk to answer, and have him take off his shirt so they can see the place where his ribs hurt, and put something on the rope burns on his arms that makes them hurt less.
Techno’s getting really, really tired, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to go to sleep. His parents wouldn’t care, but Bad and Skeppy keep asking him things, and maybe he’s supposed to stay awake and listen? He tries to stay awake, he really does, but his head feels so heavy and he keeps having to jerk it back upright and blink really hard.
“You can get some rest,” Bad says, after a while. “You must be pretty tired out, huh?”
“It’s okay,” Niki says softly, when Techno glances at her, uncertain. “I’ll keep you safe, Techno. You can rest.”
Techno wakes up in a hospital.
Niki’s still sitting beside him. She tells him that his parents are in prison, and he’s never going back to them. That they’re in a lot of trouble for the way they treated him. That he’s very sick and malnourished, and the hospital is gonna help him get better.
That when he leaves the hospital, he isn’t going back home. He’s going to a foster home, to live with someone else.
Techno doesn’t think he wants that, but it’s not up to him. He’ll be good. He’ll behave, because he doesn’t want to be punished anymore.
~~~
When Phil and Kristin decided to become foster parents, he expected it wouldn’t be easy.
He just never expected this.
He’s never seen Puffy rattled before, but she looks it now, though she’s hiding it well. They’re going over the file for the newest foster child she’s bringing them and Phil’s worried.
“His home life was… it’s indescribable.” Puffy adjusts papers on the table. “What we’ve pieced together from the house, his bio parents’ statements, and the very little he’s told us, he was kept in that house for practically his whole life. He was severely malnourished, they kept him tied up a lot of the time- they were physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive. It’s- this is the worst case I’ve ever seen.”
Kristin’s hand closes tighter on Phil’s. “My god,” she breathes. “Is he- he’s still in the hospital, right?”
Puffy nods. “For a few more days. They want to keep him until he’s a bit stronger- as I said, he was- he’s horribly malnourished. There are going to be long term effects- stunted growth, potential mental deficiencies. He’ll be at risk for illnesses- doctors have already diagnosed some potentially chronic issues- anemia, asthma, and they’re worried about a heart condition.”
Phil and Kristin glance at each other. He’s starting to feel that they are woefully unprepared- that there’s no way they could ever be. “Are we sure we can-”
“We’re taking him,” Kristin says firmly. She holds his gaze. “We can help him. We can do this,” she says, looking back at Puffy.
Puffy glances at Phil, and he inhales deeply, nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m in.”
Puffy nods, pulling out a photograph and placing it in front of them. The boy’s face is thin, pale, just this side of sunken. He’s looking at the camera, but his expression is uncertain, a bit frightened perhaps. Thin brown hair hangs around his shoulders, and his eyes are a watery blue, bloodshot and with deep circles under them.
“His name is Techno,” Puffy says quietly. “According to his birth certificate, he’s twelve. The bio parents are in jail and there’s obviously no chance of reunification or visitation. Social Services will be paying for his medical care, including any future appointments, and we’d recommend therapy but I don’t think it’ll be covered.”
Kristin nods. “Do you have thoughts on schooling?”
“Obviously we’d like him to be able to attend a regular school with his peers, but right now that’s not tenable. He’s never been around other children- it seems like this is the first time in his life he’s left that house.”
“So, homeschooling, then?” Kristin glances at Phil. “We could make that work, right?”
“Yeah,” he says, already thinking it over. Their work schedules alternate, so one of them will always be home, they could make homeschooling work pretty well. “It would probably be easier on him, too, right? Since we don’t know what kind of schooling he’s had, if any at all.”
Puffy nods. Her phone pings, and she glances at it. “I have to see to another case. I’ll call you?”
“Yeah.”
Puffy leaves the file. When she’s gone out, closing the front door behind her, Phil leans on the table and stares at the photograph.
“Are we really ready for this?” he asks quietly.
“Can one ever be?” Kristin leans her head on her hand. “He doesn’t need us to be ready. He just needs someone who’s willing to try.”
“I mean, pretty much anybody could be better than those pieces of shit.”
Kristin hums. “That’s not what I meant, but you’re not wrong.”
They sit there in silence for a few more minutes, gazing at the paperwork and the photograph of a malnourished, frightened twelve-year-old who deserved so, so much better than the life he was given.
Finally Kristin sighs, squeezing Phil’s arm and getting up. “We need to do some shopping,” she says quietly.
“Yeah.” Phil stares for a minute longer before gathering the papers together and putting them back in the file. “We need to ask Puffy if they’ve got a nutritionist to make a meal plan for him.”
“Mm. And follow-up appointments.”
“And a million other things, probably.” Phil chuckles breathlessly. “We- we are in way over our heads, aren’t we?”
“Maybe.” Kristin pauses, leaning on the kitchen island. “Maybe it’s better that way, though. I mean- no one should ever have to be prepared for this kind of situation.”
~~~
Techno’s going to the new house today.
He doesn’t think he wants to, but he’ll be good. He doesn’t want the new people to have to punish him, like his parents did.
At least he doesn’t have to have the tube in his arm anymore. All the doctors said about it was that it would help him get better faster. Techno’s not a baby and he doesn’t like that almost everybody is talking to him like he is. Except Niki, who explained that he was malnourished, and what that meant, and that the fluid they were putting in the tube had nutrients he needed to get stronger.
Niki’s not here today, though. Puffy, the social worker, is taking him to the new house.
Techno’s good, so he puts on the clothes she gives him and follows her out to her car and sits in it. He doesn’t know if he should, but he stares out the window while Puffy drives. He wants to look at everything, it’s all so new and so interesting.
When Puffy stops the car and turns it off, though, Techno makes himself small and quiet again. He needs to be good. He needs to follow all the rules and behave so he doesn’t get punished any more.
Puffy puts her hand on his shoulder to lead him up to the front door. Techno takes a couple deep breaths, enjoying the sunlight and the crisp, clear air while he can. He knows he won’t get out again once he goes inside.
He doesn’t mind that, of course, it’s just the way things are, but he does like it outside. Maybe there’ll be a window in his new room and he’ll be able to see out.
The door opens. Techno fixes his gaze on the floor instantly, he knows he’s not allowed to look at the new people but he can see a pair of socks, striped in bright colors.
“You must be Techno,” a man’s voice says, quiet and kind of gentle. “My name’s Phil. Do you want to come in?”
Techno doesn’t want to, but he does, because he is good. He takes off his shoes when Phil asks him to, putting the brand new sneakers on the mat with a few other pairs of shoes. Puffy leads Techno into a different room, and he keeps his gaze locked on the floor, even if he kind of wants to look around.
Phil introduces Techno to his wife, Kristin, and then the two of them talk to Puffy for a little while. Techno tries to pay attention, but it’s stuff about appointments and custody and other words he doesn’t really understand.
He’s tired. He didn’t get tired a lot before, but he does now, and he doesn’t know why. He’s not sleepy, but he feels- he just feels tired.
Finally, Puffy leaves, and Techno’s alone with Phil and Kristin.
He waits, tense, to find out if he’s somehow already been bad. He’s- he’s trying, he just wants to be good for them-
Phil squats in front of him. “Hey, Techno, doing okay?” he asks softly.
He- he doesn’t really understand. He’s- he’s trying to be good-
He hunches his shoulders a tiny bit, nodding. Phil shifts.
“Do you want to see your room?”
Techno’s heart sinks. He- he knew this was coming, but he thought- well, he’s stupid, he guesses. He thought he’d have a little more time before they locked him up.
Still, he’s going to behave, so he forces himself to nod and follow Phil down the hall.
There are no stairs in this house. Techno’s new room is on the other side of the hall from the bathroom- that’s good, he’ll be able to be really quick using it so he doesn’t get in trouble.
The room itself is-
It’s-
Techno freezes in the doorway and just stares. He shouldn’t, he knows, but he can’t- he doesn’t understand.
His old room was small, he slept on a mattress on the floor and that was all that was in there. The new room has a bed in the middle of one wall, with a frame and dark blue sheets and everything; there’s a dresser, and a bookshelf with some books on it, and a basket full of colorful toys, and a soft looking rug on the floor. There’s a big window with open curtains.
He- Techno’s supposed to stay here?
“You can go in,” Phil says quietly.
Oh- oh no, Techno was supposed to go in, that’s right-
He stumbles over his own feet a little, but he goes into the room and stops in the middle of the floor, glancing around for-
There. The closet. The door has slats, it’s not solid like his old closet, and right now it’s open but Techno knows that can change and will once he inevitably messes up.
“We got you some clothes,” Phil says. “They’re in the dresser. There also a bunch of stuffed animals in the basket, you can check those out if you want.”
Techno glances up at Phil through the hair that’s hanging over his face, thinking maybe that way the man won’t see him looking. He looks… nice. He doesn’t look angry, like Techno’s parents always did.
“You can leave your room whenever you want,” Phil says. “The door doesn’t lock from the outside- so, you could lock it while you’re in here, but we won’t be able to lock you in. There is a key, but I won’t come in unless I think you might be hurt or need help.”
That’s- what? Why- why would they do that? Don’t they know they can’t punish him like that?
“Lunch will be ready in a bit. I’ll come let you know when, okay?”
Phil stands there for a few seconds and goes out. He leaves the door open.
He… leaves the door open.
Techno doesn’t know what to do.
Phil said he could look in the dresser and the basket, right? Techno goes over to the dresser, but it looks like it might be loud when he opens it, so he leaves it alone and peers into the basket of stuffed animals instead.
He knows animals, but these don’t look a lot like the pictures he’s seen. They’re weird colors and some of them are weird shapes. One is big and round, with small wings and horns on its head. Techno stares at it for a while, trying to figure out what it’s supposed to be, before finally pushing it aside.
Underneath is a white bear. Techno picks it up right away, he likes polar bears, they’re his favorite animal! It’s so soft, too.
He misses Carl, but the polar bear can be his new friend! Techno decides he’s gonna call it Steve.
But… but he can’t keep Steve, can he? Cause this isn’t his stuff.
Reluctantly, Techno starts to put Steve back down, when someone knocks on the door. He turns around quickly, tensing up.
It’s Phil. “Hey, mate, lunch is ready,” he says. Then, “Oh, you like that one?”
Techno freezes, still holding Steve. He- he-
He nods, because he’s trying to be good. He weighs his options and decides to hold Steve out so Phil can take him if he wants. Even if that’s bad, the other option is to look like he’s trying not to let Phil take him.
“You can keep him wherever, mate,” Phil says. “If you want to take him with you, that’s fine, too.”
Techno’s really, really confused right now. He slowly pulls Steve back and sets him down in the basket. When that’s done, he glances up at Phil through his hair, waiting to know if there’s anything else he needs to do.
Phil smiles a little bit, but it looks kind of strained. “You wanna come eat lunch?”
Techno follows him down the hall to the kitchen. Sits in the chair Kristin indicates and keeps his gaze on the table.
They give him a bowl of soup. It’s more than Techno usually gets to eat, but he doesn’t dare to ask them if it’s okay.
He eats slowly, expecting them to take it away, but they don’t. They talk to each other and sometimes to him, but Techno’s good. He’s quiet and still and eats without making a mess, even though his hands are shaking a little bit.
Kristin doesn’t take his bowl away until it’s empty. She puts it- and the other two bowls- in the sink, and comes back.
“We’re going to talk about what the rules are, okay?” Kristin says quietly.
Despite how nervous Techno is for the new rules, he relaxes a little bit. Finally, they’re going to tell him, and he won’t have to be on edge the whole time, wondering if he’s messed up.
“First- and most important-” Phil says, and Techno tenses- “we will never hit you or hurt you in any way, or touch you at all without your consent.”
But-
What?
He looks up, startled, before he can stop himself. Kristin smiles sadly, nodding.
“You’re not going to be hurt here,” she says.
Techno looks down again, trying not to show how confusing that is. After a second Phil starts talking again.
“We won’t go into your room unless you say it’s okay,” he says. “You can ask for food whenever you want, and we will give it to you, unless it will hurt you or make you sick. You are allowed to ask for anything you want to have or do, and unless it’s bad for you, we’ll try to make it happen.”
He doesn’t- is something wrong with him? Is he imagining all of this? That- it doesn’t feel right, but- but this can’t be real, right?
“Anything we give you, and all of the things in your room, are yours. We will not take any of it away.” Phil shifts. “You can go wherever you want in the house or yard, just let us know before you go outside. If you have questions, please ask. We’ll answer the best we can.”
Techno stares at the table and tries to understand. His head kind of hurts because he’s thinking so hard.
What happens if he breaks the rules? Can he break the rules? They haven’t told him what to do, how to be good here, and he needs to know what not to do so he can try not to get in trouble-
He opens his mouth to ask but he barely makes a sound before he remembers and closes his mouth quickly, ducking his head. He almost- he just-
“Do you have a question?” Kristin murmurs. “It’s okay to ask, Techno.”
He doesn’t look up, and he keeps his voice very quiet. “What about punishments?”
Silence. Techno’s trembling, he’s scared, he knows he’s in trouble now-
“No punishments,” Phil says at last, his voice thick. “We- there won’t be any punishments, mate.”
“But-” He snaps his mouth closed again. How stupid is he? He knows better than to talk back-
“But what?” Kristin asks softly.
He takes a shaky breath. “But what if I’m bad?” he whispers.
“You’re not bad, Techno. You couldn’t be bad.” Kristin sounds so sad.
“If you broke a rule, there would be consequences,” Phil says. “But that would be something like us talking to you to understand what happened, and explaining why we made the rule. We won’t hurt you, or take away anything, or stop you from eating, or lock you up.”
Techno’s breath hitches, and he’s crying before he realizes it. He hunches his shoulders, ducking his head to try to hide it, but he knows he can’t.
“Oh- oh, honey,” Kristin breathes. She shifts closer. “May I give you a hug?”
Techno nods, even though he’s kind of scared to-
Her arms wrap around him, careful and gentle. It hurts, but Techno leans into the contact, chest hitching with sobs. Kristin smooths one hand down the back of his head, lightly, over and over again.
“You’re okay now,” she says softly. “You’re safe now, Techno. It’s gonna be okay now.”
He keeps his hands tucked tightly against his stomach, but he can’t help how he gradually goes limp, leaning on Kristin. She rubs his back gently, humming some tune he doesn’t recognize.
He doesn’t know if it is gonna be okay, he doesn’t know if he believes it, but just for right now, he doesn’t feel scared anymore.