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Hal has been thinking of the reasons why he stays and waits. He sees blue and everything falls right into place.
The answer is Bruce. It's always been Bruce and it will always be Bruce.
"I know you're an idiot but not much of this idiot, Hal." Ollie, of all people, tells him in one of the rare moments there were no people or planets to be saved.
Hal and Bruce's relationship, arrangement, or whatever you'd like to call it, isn't a secret to everyone. Bruce Wayne, or The Batman—World's Greatest Detective, gives him little to no time in a day and Hal Jordan—the Green Lantern, wallows in anything that is bestowed upon him, like the desperate asshole he is.
It wasn't a secret and he knows better—everyone seems to know better.
He could sense the disapproving glance by Barry when he figured out what was happening. Ollie gave him practically nothing but headaches with non-stop teasing. Clark and Diana cannot believe that Hal is willing to put up with this kind of treatment. They both love Bruce to death but they know how difficult the brooding one is.
Hal knows better and yet, he finds it hard to care.
For some, they would try to bury this kind of dumbassery. But no, Hal's different—while he’s an idiot, he is a devoted idiot to one Bruce Wayne. He tried to reason at times—If this was one of the ways he could get Bruce to notice and give him a bit of his time, he would take it.
But no, even from the very beginning of this whole charade, he was already warned that Bruce is not exactly the best person to be in a relationship with. If you can even call it a relationship. Not because of Bruce's constipated nature whenever there’s a chance of talking his feelings out but because he’s willing to drop anything, or anyone for that matter, if he deems it necessary to achieve his plans for Gotham and is more than willing to be the villain for it.
Hal praises the fact, which most of the Justice League members grimaced at, “Can you really blame Bruce?! Come on! You’ve been to Gotham and you can’t exactly blame him for that when he’s being bulldozed by half of the Arkham inmates most of the time!”
He loves a determined guy, even if it means he’s willing to trample Hal’s heart multiple times.
Moments like this remind Hal why he stays.
With Bruce's arms wrapped around him possessively, holding him close as if Hal would leave voluntarily, make all the uncertainties and doubts leave his mind.
You sure hold me tight for someone who dislikes attachment. Hal wanted to joke but he doesn't want to ruin the night.
Communication was never really Bruce's strongest suit—unless it's for barking orders for missions or cases, but Hal knows Bruce cares and he can see it in the way Bruce moves or acts. Truth to be told, the World's Greatest Detective's body language is already a language of its own.
Hal knows this because it took him a long amount of time to see it. When he shouts at Hal whenever he does a very reckless move in the field, or when he lingers after a mission to check up on Hal if he has any injuries, or when the detective begs Alfred to bake one of those british pastries Hal loves so much despite the fact that the butler reserves it for more special occasions.
Bruce cares. In his own little ways, regardless of how unusual and guarded that might be. Hal may have taken a long time to figure the vigilante out but he now understands.
So if Bruce tugs him a little closer than necessary when they sleep, it speaks everything Hal knows Bruce cannot say out loud. In these moments, Hal does not necessarily need any assurance, or even an apology; the way Bruce holds him is just enough.
And if he wakes up again tomorrow, with no Bruce in sight, just his lingering scent over their bed, Hal will choose to stay.
It's enough, Hal tries to convince himself. For now, it is enough.
“Hal, whatever this is, we need to stop this.”
“Bruce, if this is about—”
“I’m being unfair to you—”
“Did Clark talk you into to this? Or Barry? Diana? Ollie?!"
“Hal…”
"And do you honestly think I still care about that? If I wanted fair, we wouldn't be having this discussion after years…” Hal tries not to raise his voice; Damian might be lurking in the cave and he does not want any of this for the child to hear.
This is also the closest Hal can get to begging, “Bruce, if half assed efforts, broken promises or whatever shit means staying with you, I’m more than willing to take it.”
“You’re making this complicated, Hal.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t really have the heart to care about anything else unless it’s you.”
The thing about this whole ordeal that is mostly confusing to Hal is his place towards Bruce's children.
Cass mostly visits his place to have dinner with him at least once a week, while Tim will just unsurprisingly talk to his comms when he's doing either Lantern or League work. Jason is mostly busy doing his own thing but he'd drop by his apartment at least once a month, depending on his mood (or how much he wishes to annoy Bruce), under the pretense the he's only there to visit Kyle. Dick probably is the one that Hal had interacted with the most, considering how long the kid had been fighting crime alongside the hardened vigilante at the age of 9. Duke sometimes reaches up to him if he needed advice how to work on his own powers, while Stephanie, despite not being Bruce's children, is just there to tease Hal about his and Bruce's relationship whenever they’re at the Manor.
And Damian...
Damian is a very sweet kid. Despite the sharp words and intimidating nature, he is the sweetest kid. Hal often finds himself alone with the youngest Wayne the most, with Titus tattling behind them on the rare occasions, which Hal found funny because Damian was not very trusting of him when he visited the cave initially. This was remedied by the promise of stories and bringing something from different universes for Damian to examine. The obstacle course may also have helped considering that Damian wanted something different for his training.
The point is, Hal doesn't know where to stand when it comes to their Bruce's children.
So when Damian approached him, inviting him to attend his art exhibition, or when Dick and Jason asked him to come over and play sports with them, or when Tim or Duke just simply asks his help for a school assignment, or even a simple request from Cass to stay longer than intended, Hal didn't know what to answer.
"You're allowed to say yes to them," he remembers Bruce telling him this during one of his stays at the Manor. Hal was definitely caught off guard with the statement.
Really? Am I not overstepping? Going overboard?
These were questions he needed to ask, to quell his need for reassurance after years of uncertainty with whatever him and Bruce has as a relationship. Hal didn't say anything but he already made a decision.
Later that morning, Hal found Damian sitting at dining table, waiting for him and his father to join him for breakfast, Hal asked what would be the appropriate attire for his art exhibition.
The look of surprise from Damian did not go unnoticed but Hal would be lying if he said that this wouldn't hurt once the inevitable happens.
Barry and Hal's Conversation
barry • 25 minutes ago
why are you in the watchtower
hal • 23 minutes ago
and how would you know i'm at the watchtower
barry • 19 minutes ago
shay told me
hal • 19 minutes ago
you're not a v good liar man
shay's with diana in Washington
barry • 18 minutes ago
THAT IS NOT THE POINT
and you're not answering my question
so???? why are you in the watchtower???
shouldn't you be asleep or resting rn
hal • 18 minutes ago
Jesus bar not only that you're a bad liar but you're not also subtle
i wanted to visit bruce
we had a fight last time before I left
I just wanted to check on him
there, happy???
barry • 18 minutes ago
just go home hal
bats is a grown man
hal • 16 minutes ago
okay, I'll go
barry • 15 minutes ago
thank god, you need rest
hal • 16 minutes ago
after I check up on bruce
promise
barry • 15 minutes ago
ugh
whatever
take care and say hi to bruce for me ig
As far as first meeting goes, Bruce Wayne and Hal Jordan’s was not the most memorable, extraordinary, nor the most special.
If Hal was being honest, it might have been downright terrible. With Hal somewhat mocking and making snide remarks about the brooding vigilante for not having any superpowers, Bruce for snatching the ring to his finger, expressing that Hal was not a hero but the ring was, and then giving Bruce the ring because of the invasion, bad could be an understatement.
So imagine his surprise one night when he went home with none other than Gotham’s very own royalty.
Hal will not tell you the specifics (he doesn't probably remember it) but all he knows was that, in one moment, they were at some gala that Ollie had invited him, and Bruce was also there (figures) and in another, he was being dragged by the billionaire to one of his lofty penthouses.
For all the time he knew Bruce, he's always seen him as an unyielding symbol, a master of control and the exact embodiment of paranoia. But during that night, all he can think of was how Bruce's touch was firm yet gentle, how he seemed to know the ways to make Hal squirm in his lap, how his voice deepened when he charges Hal to take him deeper.
It left Hal breathless, and all he can think about was how everything felt so fast and too much, and yet simply just right. When the two of them were worn out, the bed absolutely ruined, Bruce did not waste anytime cleaning them up. He was about to fall asleep when he felt the bed dip and an arm wrapped around his body, warmth surrounding him.
Hal doesn't know what that was, but he remembers leaning better and closer to Bruce that night, "For a guy who's built like a tank, you're surprisingly cuddly."
Bruce might have made a sound that time, "Don't tell anyone, Jordan. I have a reputation to maintain."
"Do you ever get tired of fighting with Father?" Hal tries not to choke from Damian's question. He must have overheard them the night before.
This is why Hal disliked staying at the Manor sometimes. In times that his and Bruce's argument go south, he doesn't want any of their children to hear the blowout.
"What makes you ask that, Dami?" He didn't try to confirm or deny the question, Damian's too smart for that. For a moment, Hal thought Damian would just drop the topic and continue with their day. Hal isn't even sure if he wants to hear Damian's thoughts about his and his Father's relationship; he doesn't want to hear it from Damian of all people, it will just make things even more real.
"You don't seem happy..."
"I'm—Your Father and I are fine, Dami. You don't have to worry about us. And were you lurking in the cave last night?"
"No. I heard Grayson and Drake talking about it at patrol. Todd even made a comment." God, the admission hurts knowing the kids talked about it, "And I thought... I thought that's what family supposed to do, look out for each other." Damian's voice dropped into a whisper.
Hal tries to ignore the lump in his throat, "I know, Dami, but your Father and I... We're just dealing with some things. You know he has a lot in his plate."
"So are you, but you don't push him away."
That's because he thinks what is best for Gotham too much… too much that he forgets what was also best for him. Bruce's devotion is also sometimes his poison. Hal is very much aware of this, "And... I don't want you to leave this family. Who's going to create obstacle course for me then?"
Hal cannot help himself but chuckle, a flicker of something he cannot quite place; was that Damian's attempt to lighten the situation? He sometimes forget that Damian is still a kid, after everything, "Sure, kid."
The day goes by with Hal making obstacle courses for Damian.
And if Damian is clingier that day and even requested subtly to have a sleepover with him and Bruce that night, making Bruce's eyebrow raise—probably in surprise but not unwelcome, Hal did not say anything.
Really, he tries not to mind the lecture and disappointed glances that some of the league members are subjecting him to. It's not like he's the only one doing the decisions here. Bruce is still with him, right?
Hal cannot stay away, but neither Bruce can.
"This must be payback, you know, for all the times you've ghosted people for a date," Ollie starts after one of their meetings ended.
Bruce is still with Diana and J'onn somewhere, and what are they talking about? Hal doesn't have the slightest idea but he's pretty hopeful Bruce is going to share it with him later.
If Bruce is in the right mood, "I don't ghost people!" Hal defends himself.
Does it count as ghosting when the corps just really have a terrible timing? It's not like he's the one choosing his time when it comes to mission and as much as Hal wants to get laid, he's not going to neglect his duties as the Green Lantern. Maybe that's why him and Bruce are in this thing. They both understand the hero gig, putting their duties first.
Even when it meant they have to put each other last.
"Hal," He tries not to flinch when Clark started talking. He's using that voice when superboy did something very disappointing and alarming in missions, "Whatever this is, you have to put up a name on it or it will end up badly. The longer you let this happen, the miserable the two of you will get in the end. And just right now, it doesn’t look good on either of you.”
"Listen to supes!" Barry shouted in a distance.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that they’re badmouthing Bruce, but the truth is, he’s getting this much lecture just as Hal is receiving.
Whatever Bruce does with their scolding, Hal doesn’t even want to know.
“We’re fine.” Hal argued, which was true, for the most part. And really, he's never been one to put on labels to certain things; establishing a label means putting up boundaries, limitations, and the idea of already setting down a limit for his and Bruce's relationship is slightly making his head hurt.
Instead, he ignores the league and tries to tune out their lecture, so in case Bruce’s discussion with Diana and J'onn ends earlier than planned and decides he wants to humor Hal for the day, he no longer has any obligation for the day but to be Bruce’s.
Unsurprisingly, Hal woke up to an empty bed, a tray of breakfast with a note on its side and an apology that is unmistakably Bruce's.
He visited the Manor later that day, seeking answers as to why he woke up alone.
Bruce was distant, and Hal readied himself to answers he'd already dreaded, "It was a mistake."
In hindsight, Hal should have left it at that; made the right decision not to bother Bruce or himself with all of the mess.
It was just one good night with a good fuck, that's just it. Hal reminds himself.
Hal is never truly good with the right decisions.
“Is this…” Hal tries not to flinch when he hears Bruce’s question, “Is this really okay with you?”
“What is, sweetheart?”
“Hal.”
“Bruce.” He can practically feel the pout and disbelief from Bruce and he only wants to turn kiss the life out of the vigilante to make him stop thinking about his worries.
For a moment, Hal thought Bruce wouldn't ask him any question and just continued with what he's doing when he heard, “Is our relationship fine with you?”
No. Hal wants to answer. This isn't okay.
He wants to tell Bruce he wants more than a fraction of his time without tiptoeing whether Bruce wants to humor him for the day. He wants a relationship where he can have planned dates and he doesn't expect Bruce to bail and push him away at the last minute. He wants a relationship where if somebody asks him about his relationship, he can proudly say, “I’m with Bruce,” without his doubts telling him otherwise. He wants a relationship where he and Bruce could attend the League's meeting, sitting side by side, without them looking at him with pity and him not expecting to come home with texts from any of them asking if there's anything new. He wants something that doesn't worry any of Bruce's—their kids whether he'll leave the Manor and never come back.
He wants a relationship where Bruce will do something inexplicably wrong and he would find himself caring, not just shrugging it off. He wants Bruce to commit to this, as much as he is desperately clinging to theirs.
He wants something wherein he isn’t the only one reeling at the end.
But like everyone, he's rarely honest with himself; he’s a liar. To Bruce. To himself.
So instead of admitting to wanting more—wanting just enough, Hal lies through his teeth.
“It’s more than enough.”