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“No,” Brax said with finality, a solemn expression on his face, allowing himself to drop his facade, he needed them to see.
“I’m doing this for--”
“If you say you, Braxiatel,” Romana’s voice sharply cut in, “I am going to leave.”
“But you can't,” he said, a wild sort of desperation in his eyes, so unlike Irving Braxiatel, “there’s no way out of the Axis, my lady. Not anymore.”
“Liar,” she growled, and something picked up in his hearts, “how do I even know whether you’re telling the truth?! After everything you’ve lied to us about” -- she gestured angrily to Leela and Narvin, who both shifted uncomfortably behind her, and to K-9, who was running some calculations -- “I can’t trust you, Brax,” she said, and he, eyes wide, felt something burning-hot pierce through both his hearts.
“Mistress Romana,” piped up K-9, “scans indicate that Braxiatel is correct! The way back to our universe is sealed off. The only way to proceed is through one of the portals.”
She groaned.
“Thank you, K-9.”
“Welcome, Mistress!”
“Doesn’t even understand-” he heard her muttering under her breath, frustration turning at the nearest thing, and he needed her to understand why he did all this, it was for her safety for Leela’s safety it was so that the people he cared about would be safe--
“Romana,” he said again, voice shaking uncharacteristically, “would you have preferred dying with Gallifrey? Fighting its futile wars?”
He was dipping into other timelines’ grief, now, but he didn’t care anymore.
Romana, it seemed, did.
She frowned.
“Whatever are you on about now?” she said, dismissing him, then turning to Leela and Narvin, “Come on. We need to try- we need- we need to- oh, for fuck’s sake, Brax, there's no way out without falling into your Rassilon-forsaken trap.”
Trap-?
Was that truly what she thought of him?
Romana stalked off, towards where the rooms were, and Brax looked helplessly at her retreating figure, a horrible sinking feeling in his hearts.
“Brax,” said Leela, breaking him out of his stupor, “I know why you did- what you did, and I agree with you.”
Relief flooded his senses.
“You could have told Romana, but she would not have taken kindly to that. I know as well as you,” she offered with a wry smile, “I shall try to get her to calm down.”
“Thank you,” he breathed, genuine relief and gratitude, “Leela.”
She nodded at him, jaw set, and walked off after Romana, K-9 following close by.
Narvin, the only one remaining, the one he hadn't even saved intentionally, looked between them nervously.
“Go,” Brax sighed, “they've headed off to where the quarters are. Get yourself one."
He went off without a word, robes swishing in a way that reminded Braxiatel of Gallifrey, somehow, tinged with a bitter nostalgia.
After they had all left him, slowly, piece-by-piece, using the parts of his psyche that were calling after them, using the shattered remains of his grand plans like window-panes (of glass of ice of reflection), Irving Braxiatel put himself back together again.
He clenched his fists.
He would not fail any of them any more.