Archive of Our Own ^beta

Yin Yu wanted to know if he was someone desirable. If there was even one person who could look at him and love him. Yin Yu needed to confirm it.

Yin Yu was hesitating about messaging Jian Yu. He figured he better tell him now and not later. Jian Yu would make a scandal if he didn’t tell him about his upcoming date. With a sigh, Yin Yu opened WeChat.

It all went wrong. Yin Yu should have known.

The moment they met, he realized he’d made a mistake. Athletic Guy didn’t look like in his photos at all. He seemed way older than the 30 years old he supposedly had. He was disheveled and was smoking a cigarette. Not the image that Yin Yu was expecting at all. Before he could think of going back, the other guy spotted him and quickly approached him. The guy smiled lazily and introduced himself. Yin Yu couldn’t run away now. They were in a crowded plaza, so he couldn’t do a fuss without ending up uploaded to Douyin. Well, Yin Yu thought he’d just enjoy the meal and leave the situation behind him.

But it got worse. Once they sat down in the restaurant, the guy ordered over 10 items. Yin Yu stared as the little table got full of food. The guy didn’t even try to keep a conversation. He simply ate and gave vague grunting sounds of acquittance. Yin Yu sipped his iced coffee.

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Before the man could finish the last of the things he had ordered, he went to the bathroom. At first Yin Yu was glad to have a moment to calm himself, but when over 10 minutes passed, he thought something was off. After 20 minutes, Yin Yu went to the toilet to check what happened, but there was no one there. He went as far as to check every stall, but the bathroom was clean. The guy was gone. Yin Yu came back and looked at the table full of plates. It dawned on him that the guy had run before the tab was delivered.

Yin Yu couldn’t do anything but sigh and walk to the counter to pay.

When he arrived home, the first thing he did was change into comfortable sweatpants and a worn-out t-shirt. He was eager to spend the rest of the evening wasting away, under his sheets and watching some movies, when his belly growled. Despite paying for the whole lunch, he couldn’t eat a single thing. At moments like this, the best balm for the heart was cheap greasy takeout. So, Yin Yu ordered a meal through Meituan.

Just as he did that, his phone dinged. Yin Yu saw Jian Yu’s name in the notification bar. He wasn’t in the mood to reply, but Jian Yu had this habit of sending message after message to annoy him till he replied. After the incessant ringing of his phone, Yin Yu groaned and opened the chat.

Yin Yu couldn’t tell Jian Yu the truth. If he did, Jian Yu would go on a manhunt to find the jerk and doxx him; but, even worse, Jian Yu would have the right to tell Yin Yu “I told you so.”

Yin Yu wanted everything but give Jian Yu the chance to laugh about him. He needed a picture with a real guy and quickly. The question now was where to find named guy.

A notification in his phone showed up.

Well, Yin Yu knew where to get a real guy now.

He checked his Meituan app. On the driver’s profile, was the picture of a man and the name Quan Yizhen. The guy seemed young and fair looking. Yin Yu couldn’t tell more from the small profile picture, but at this point, he couldn’t be picky. He had to convince this delivery guy to take a picture with him.

After what seemed the longest five minutes of Yin Yu’s life, the doorbell rang. His phone also dinged. His food had arrived.

Steeling his nerves, and repeating in his mind the words he would use, Yin Yu opened the door. As he looked at the delivery guy, his brain filled with white noise. Scratch fair looking, this delivery guy was probably the most handsome man Yin Yu had ever seen.

Well, maybe that was an exaggeration. He had seen plenty of handsome guys—he was acquainted with Hua Cheng after all—but none had teared a reaction so visceral from him as the one standing before his door.

The man was tall, around Yin Yu’s own stature. He was well built, not a broad figure, but it was obvious he trained regularly. His head was full of curly locks that in anyone else might have looked like a disordered bird nest, but in this man it looked like a chic disheveled style.

“Food,” the stupidly handsome man said, bringing the package up to attention. He was looking down at his phone. “Are you Yin—” He furrowed his eyebrows, then he glanced up. His eyes—beautiful big amber eyes—widened. “Yin Yu?”

“Huh?” Yin Yu said stupidly in awe.

“It’s you...”

It took a moment for Yin Yu to process the words. “Oh, yes. I’m Yin Yu. I ordered that.”

He showed his phone with the delivery app opened. Yin Yu’s cheeks were burning. He mentally berated himself for losing his brain cells to a pretty face.

“No,” the delivery guy said. “I mean, it’s you, ge!”

Yin Yu was confused now. “Excuse me?”

“It’s me! Quan Yizhen.”

“Um, yes? I saw your name on the app,” Yin Yu said, still not getting what this handsome man was trying to tell him.

“Ah, right. Didn’t use my real name. I’m Qi Ying.”

Yin Yu blinked. He must have heard wrong, he thought. There was no way that name had been uttered by this beautiful man.

“I’m sorry, who did you say?”

“Qi Ying.”

Yin Yu’s face sank. He didn’t hear wrong.

“Ge?”

“W-what?”

“Are you okay?”

Yin Yu couldn’t tell. He felt like fainting, so maybe he wasn’t okay. But, how else could he react to this information? He couldn’t believe it.

“You… you’re that guy? Qi Ying? From TanTan?”

“Yes,” the delivery—well, Qi Yi—no, Quan Yizhen said. “I’m so happy to see you!”

Yin Yu had tried before to imagine what Qi Ying looked like, they have been talking so much, so of course he would try to put a face to the man. No matter what he imagined, at the end, he only could connect him to the unfocused picture from TanTan. At some point, he didn’t think of Qi Ying as a real person.

But now, that same Qi Ying was here, very much real. He tried to overlap the blurry image with the man in front of him, but it seemed almost absurd to do so; he was so far from Yin Yu’s expectations. After all, what were the chances of coincidentally meeting your mysterious crush from a dating app and discovering he looked like a god? Totally nuts, had to be a lie. However, there was no reason for he to lie. He gained nothing out of it. So, Yin Yu was probably dreaming. That would make more sense than whatever this situation was.

“Say, are you mad at me?” Quan Yizhen asked. “You stopped replying.”

Yin Yu came back from his musings. He remembered the confusion, humiliation and betrayal that led him to stop chatting with Qi Ying. He now had a face to direct his anger to.

“You sent me a weird message, what did you expect?”

Quan Yizhen’s eyes widened. “Ah, that wasn’t me!”

“Wasn’t you?” Yin Yu looked askance.

“No. A classmate told me I had to be more forward if I wanted to get serious with you.”

“‘Serious’. So you asked... you asked for nudes?”

“I didn’t! He sent the messages for me.”

Yin Yu scrunched his eyebrows together.

“I punched his face when he told me.”

“You punched him?”

Quan Yizhen nodded.

“Serves him right,” Yin Yu mumbled.

“I told you in my messages,” Quan Yizhen said and his expression turned wistful. “I guess you didn’t read them.”

Yin Yu felt a pang of remorse, but he quickly stopped himself. He had already made so many mistakes. He couldn’t fall for this guy’s tactics now.

“Of course I didn’t.” Yin Yu huffed. “If this is some sort of game for you, I’m not playing along. Leave.”

“No! I’m not playing. It’s the truth.”

“Why should I believe you? I don’t really know you.”

“You do. Everything I told you was real. I was looking forward to your messages every day.”

The pang of hurt was there again. Yin Yu felt compelled to believe him, to comfort him. After all, he had gotten used to do that through all their conversations.

Still, Yin Yu shouldn’t trust Quan Yizhen. For all he knew, he might be making up everything. But in the remote case that he was truthful, then Yin Yu wanted to know one thing.

“Why was it me?” Yin Yu asked.

“What?”

“Why did you contact me in TanTan?” That had been a question Yin Yu had since the beginning. “There are so many men, I didn’t even reply to you at first, so... why? Why didn’t you even upload a proper picture? You would’ve gotten so many matches!”

“What’s wrong with my picture?”

“It’s freaking unintelligible!”

“For real? I didn’t notice.”

Yin Yu was speechless. He very much wanted to hit this guy now. “Just answer. Why me?”

Quan Yizhen bit his bottom lip. “I wanted to date someone,” he replied. “Everyone always tells me I’m missing out. I wanted to see if dating was that great. I liked a lot of profiles but only matched with you.”

Not surprising. Quan Yizhen’s profile seemed a joke, who would look at it twice?

“With time, I’m sure you would have gotten more matches,” Yin Yu said, however.

Quan Yizhen shrugged. “When I began chatting with you I stopped caring about that.”

“You didn’t have to settle with the first option. What if there was someone better suited for you?”

“Better suited?”

Yin Yu nodded. It didn’t have to be him. It was a mere chance that they ended up chatting.

“What are you saying, ge? We have so many things in common. You like wrestling and scallion pancakes. You recommend movies to me. You also remember the things I tell you. There’s no one better than you.” Quan Yizhen smiled. “Also, your face’s pretty. You’re as beautiful as in your photos, ge.”

Yin Yu’s mind went blank. “W-what?”

“A classmate told me that most pictures in dating apps are fake or edited, but you look the same,” Quan Yizhen explained. “Beautiful.”

Having those things said to his face made Yin Yu go red. It was unreal to have such a handsome man call him beautiful. This definitely had to be a dream.

In that moment, Quan Yizhen’s phone made a sound. He took a look at it.

“Ah! Ge, I have to give you your food. Time’s almost up.”

Yin Yu had forgotten all about the food until that moment. He took the offered paper bag. Quan Yizhen tapped his phone a couple of times and then put it away. There was a moment in which no one said a thing.

“I... guess that’s all,” Yin Yu eventually said.

“Wait, ge. Will you talk with me again?”

“I have no reason to.”

“Give me another chance.” Quan Yizhen pleaded. “I won’t ask you weird things, I promise.”

“You want to talk with me that much?”

“Yes. I like talking with you. You don’t?”

Yin Yu couldn’t lie to himself. He enjoyed talking to Quan Yizhen, much more than he wanted to admit, but he hated being taken advantage of. If he was willing to give Quan Yizhen the benefit of doubt, he also wanted to have a insurance.

“I still don’t trust you. Take a pic with me.”

“Huh?”

“If you do, I’ll answer your texts. If you try to play me, I’ll post your picture and number everywhere.”

Quan Yizhen had his mouth hanging. After seeming to think it over, he nodded. “Deal.”

Yin Yu cleared his throat. “T-then, I’ll take it.”

He opened the camera app on his phone and positioned himself beside Quan Yizhen. Yin Yu had asked this kind of thing because he needed the photo. Definitely not because he was interested in Quan Yizhen, whatsoever.

“Come closer and... um, put your hand on my shoulder,” Yin Yu said.

Shameless behavior, Yin Yu admonished himself in his mind.

If Quan Yizhen found the situation weird, he didn’t voice it aloud. He followed Yin Yu’s instructions and put his arm around Yin Yu’s shoulders.

Yin Yu gulped. He held his phone high to take a selfie, but his hand was slightly trembling. With effort, he stabilized the device and even remembered to smile.

“Ready? 1, 2...” Yin Yu snapped several photos in sequence. “done.”

Yin Yu opened his gallery to check the photos. Quan Yizhen leaned over to see as well. Yin Yu noticed he was still touching his shoulder. He tried to ignore that and focus on the photo instead. He shouldn’t have. The moment Yin Yu saw the picture, he wanted to throw his phone away.

The picture was extremely awkward. On one part, Yin Yu’s face was completely pink, seeming feverish. His smile was forced and skewed. Being dressed in the old t-shirt didn’t help at all. On the other part, Quan Yizhen didn’t bother to smile. He had a fierce gaze, slightly frowning. His hand on Yin Yu’s shoulder was unnecessarily tensed, and, somehow, his figure was blurry. Yin Yu checked the four photos he managed to take and all of them had similar problems. In all of them, Quan Yizhen was unfocused. Yin Yu realized that despite being good looking, Quan Yizhen wasn’t photogenic at all. He almost wanted to laugh.

“Can you send me that photo?” Quan Yizhen asked.

“You want it? It’s not that...” Yin Yu couldn’t finish. Quan Yizhen’s gaze was so clear and genuine. He changed his words. “Sure, why not?”

Quan Yizhen eyes shined. Yin Yu found that it was incredible easy to read his expressions. How could someone like him even think of deception? Yin Yu was sure that he wouldn’t be fooled by Quan Yizhen even if he tried.

“I have to go now, ge...” Quan Yizhen made no attempt to move.

“Alright.”

“I’ll message you.”

“Yes.”

“You’ll reply, right?” Quan Yizhen pouted.

Yin Yu avoided looking at him directly, it seemed that Quan Yizhen’s gaze had a strange effect on him. In the back of his mind, there was a voice telling him that he should cut ties with Quan Yizhen. However, Yin Yu had given his word, he wouldn’t go back on it. Not with this guy that seemed ready to do everything Yin Yu asked of him—which in itself was a mortifying thought. He put a hand over his face. “Yes, I’ll reply.”

Quan Yizhen grinned. “I’ll message you soon, ge! Wait for it!” Quan Yizhen took his delivery bag and ran down the hallway. Then, he stopped and looked back. “Don’t forget to reply! See you!”

Like a hurricane, Quan Yizhen left in a flurry. Yin Yu stood in his doorway for a moment longer. He wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t just hallucinate the whole thing. However, he looked at his phone and the totally real photo of Quan Yizhen and himself was there.

Yin Yu went into his apartment. At the same time, he sent the photo to Jian Yu. Not even 10 seconds later, his phone dinged with three new notifications.

Yin Yu buffed at his friend’s dramatics. Before he could reply, he saw the notifications from TanTan piling in his notification bar. The truth was that he couldn’t bring himself to block Quan Yizhen’s profile even after he received those uncomfortable messages. Yin Yu didn’t turn off the notifications altogether due to the other chat he had. So instead he had let the notifications stay there, unopened. After hearing Quan Yizhen’s side of the story, he felt kind of guilty. His phone beeped then, and a new bubble joined the pile of unopened notifications.

Yin Yu smiled bashfully. That guy was too much. Still, he tapped the notification and his chat with Blurry Guy opened. He read through the unread messages.

Yin Yu wanted to be swallowed by a hole. He should have read those messages before. If he had, he would have avoided hurting Quan Yizhen, he would have avoided accepting the awful date today, and maybe he would have attended a nice date with Quan Yizhen instead. He couldn’t do anything about that now, but he could try to make up for it.

Yin Yu gripped his phone tightly. He didn’t know if things would go well this time, but he wanted to try without running away. He owed Quan Yizhen that much.

His phone beeped. A new message incoming.

Yin Yu’s heartbeat was loud in his ears and his face felt too warm. He felt so silly. Was this how liking someone was supposed to be? Maybe he was getting ahead of himself. He had learn that he could be impulsive too. However, he didn’t know why, but he had the feeling that it might turn alright with Quan Yizhen. Yin Yu opened his delivery food, all hungry, and smiled.

His phone dinged multiple times. Yin Yu opened WeChat and read the first three messages before rolling his eyes and flipping his phone down. He took a bite out of a wonton. He would enjoy his food now. Love, friends, texts could wait until he finished dining. His phone kept dinging, but Yin Yu ignored it with glee.