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Kay is walking towards his motorcycle when he catches sight of them.
It's like the breath in Kay's lungs have been sucked away into a void — the same void that has been following him everywhere. But this time instead of emptiness, it leaves a thrumming in its wake.
There are two men standing across from him. Twins. One with silver hair and the other with light steel blue. Kay thinks, distractedly, that they look quite similar to him. But their faces are sharper. Harder. Mischievous. Something about the way they carry themselves screams carefree in a way that he doesn't think he has ever been. In a way that he will never be.
The blue-haired one in the suit sees him staring and winks, causing the other man to turn and tilt his head towards Kay too. A toothy grin breaks out across his face.
Kay doesn't want to remember the last time someone smiled at him like that. Wide and inviting.
It still hurts to think about his friend.
He wants to approach them, but his feet feel heavy.
A muffled shout and shattering glass breaks the moment, and before Kay can blink, the twins disappear into the building behind them.
Kay runs a hand through his hair. That's that, then. He probably won't see them again.
—
The next week passes in a blur.
Wake up. Go to work. Shove some food and water into his face. Go home. Watch the sun crawl down past the horizon. Stare at the wall. Sleep. Repeat.
He doesn't want to leave his apartment this weekend, so he breaks his daily routine to run a few errands. He changes his course and heads to the closest grocery store to his apartment. The streets are busy and he's forced to park his motorcycle a block away from the store. He's not in any rush, so he takes his time, walking leisurely.
A sudden ache explodes around his shoulder as someone grabs his arm and yanks him to the side. He sees a flash of two vaguely familiar faces before a linen bag is shoved over his head, and then there is nothing but pain.
—
He regains his awareness in increments. First he notices the aching pain in his shoulder, his chest, and the back of his head. Second, the feeling of grimy, damp tile against his cheek. And, third, stickiness of his clothes — heavy and damp from the hot, humid air around him.
He opens his eyes and wishes he didn't.
It's a familiar sight.
The Princess Salon.
He sees it every time he closes his eyes. Except this time there's an absence of blood — for now, at least.
They must have been keeping watch from the doorway because as soon as he pushes himself up to sit against the wall, the two men from earlier enter the steam room.
Kay has seen these men before. They were there the night Pound took Nut away. They had held him back and beat him as Pound laughed and tugged Nut against his side. They had left him bruised and bloody. He had thought that would have been the end of it, but then Pound came back and Pk paid for it instead.
"You should have killed me that night." Kay glares at them from the floor. "Did you bring me here to finish the job?"
"Eventually," says the one with shorter cropped hair. "But first, we want you to suffer."
Kay almost rolls his eyes at that. Of course they do.
The man crouches down in front of him and grabs hold of Kay's face with one hand. The pressure of the fingers on his cheeks builds until he feels his skin break under the man's nails. He hears footsteps as the other man leaves the room.
A shaky sob echoes through the room, and he instinctively tries to jerk his head towards the sound, but the man's grip tightens and the small cuts on his face sting at the resisting force.
"First we'll take care of the bitch while you watch. How does that saying go? An eye for an eye?" The man leans slightly to the side, just enough for Kay to see Nut. Her face is mix of sorrow and guilt and fear. Nut's hands are behind her and the second man has a firm grip on her arm.
In his other hand is a hammer.
It's the first time he's seen her since that night. He didn't — couldn't — contact her. Not after Pk died. Not after he killed Pound. A small part of him had blamed her. If it wasn't for her, his friend would still be alive and he wouldn't have blood on his hands.
But he doesn't want her to die too.
He doesn't want to see anyone else die.
A loud bang rings through the air followed by Nut's scream. Kay slumps to the floor as the man next to him lets go of his face and jumps up to his feet.
A stream of red flows into Kay's view, and his eyes follow it to its source. The other man is face down on the floor. Blood is gushing out of a wound on his head. A pair of black combat boots stop next to the man and the body jerks as it's kicked to the side carelessly.
Kay's eyes snap up to see silver hair and a wide toothy grin.
The man waves the semi-automatic rifle in his hands as if in greeting. An arm drapes over his shoulder and he leans back into the body of his twin behind him.
The blue-haired man's face comes into view as he rests his chin on the other's bare shoulder. He shoots Kay a playful wink and then raises his other arm. He's pointing his index and middle fingers towards the frightened man standing next to Kay. His ring finger and pinky are curled inwards; his thumb pointed up and straight.
He cocks his hand and another loud bang echoes around them.
There's a distinctly dull thud next to him, and Kay watches as the first twin swiftly slings the gun across his back.
There's a beat of silence and then Kay remembers. He jerks up, craning his neck to see past his saviors. "Nut! She — where—"
"Relax, Princess, I sent her on her way," says the silver-haired twin.
The blue-haired one reaches down to help him stand. He leans in close enough for Kay to feel the warmth of his breath against his own lips. "And you will be coming with us."
Kay nods. There is nothing left for him here, anyway. Not anymore.
—
He learns that the silver-haired one is called Moonshine. Kay has noticed that he spends most of his time either shirtless or in tank tops.
The blue-haired one is Sunshine. Sunshine's wardrobe does vary, a little bit, but it consists mostly of suits. Kay wonders if he runs cold — if he needs to be wrapped up in thick, warm layers, or if he's making up for the lack of clothes on Moonshine. From the brief glimpses he's gotten of Sunshine's bare skin, he knows they have matching tattoos.
He also learns that they're on the run.
Sort of.
And not because of the murders, either.
Sunshine had started to explain it to him his first day on the train. Sunshine and Moonshine weren't exactly twins, but they shared a connection that ran deeper than that. A connection that ran past the fabric of space and time. Somewhere between talks of DNA splicing and electromagnetic radiation and divine beings, Kay's eyes had started to glaze over as he tried to make sense of all the information. Eventually, Sunshine just shrugged and said, "Don't worry about it. All you need to know is you'll always be safe with us."
And he is safe with them. He feels safe with them. He knows it's strange. He has, after all, witnessed Moonshine shoot two men in front of him.
They bring him to what looks like an old steam powered train that is inexplicably parked on the edge of an industrial district. It's hidden from view of the closest main road by a large abandoned factory. Sunshine tells him to claim one of the sleeper cars — a passenger car with a bed — as his room, stating that any car doors with open blinds are available.
He counts at least five with closed blinds.
He chooses one at random. A single bed takes up two thirds of the space. There's an overhead shelf, a narrow closet space, and on the wall adjacent to a wide window is a foldable tabletop. He makes himself at home.
—
Monday rolls around and he doesn't leave for work. Neither Sunshine nor Moonshine comment on it.
—
He likes passing time in the lounge car. There's an old but well cared for gramophone that Kay has been obsessed with since he first saw it. He's rifling through a pile of vinyl records when Sunshine taps him on the shoulder. "We'll only be staying in town for a few more weeks. Let me or Moonshine know if we need to pick up anything from your apartment."
Kay figures he should ask where they'll be going, but he can't find it in himself to care so he just nods.
"We don't usually stick around one place for too long, but we have some unfinished business," adds Moonshine. The grin on his face verges on manic.
They don't talk about the more violent parts of their life when Kay's within ear shot, but over the course of the next week, he knows they slip away and come back with small specks of red that can only be seen if someone is looking too closely.
He's been looking.
He just wants to make sure they're not injured.
That's all.
He doesn't want to lose them like he lost Pk. But they can take care of themselves. Which is good. Because Kay can't take care of them.
He clenches his fist.
Most days he feels like he can barely take care of himself.
—
The first time Kay walks in on Sunshine and Moonshine, it's an accident.
The fourth time Kay walks in on them, he realizes these haven't been accidents.
He thinks about the words adorning their bare skin.
SUNSHINE.
MOONSHINE.
LOVE. DIE.
He thinks about the empty space on their collarbones.
He thinks about the empty space between their names — and he wonders.
—
"Can you teach me?"
Moonshine stops humming along to the music drifting through the train and looks up from the disassembled pistol he's in the middle of cleaning. He tilts his head and eyes Kay with consideration. "To disarm or to kill?"
Kay pauses.
"To disarm."
Moonshine nods to the seat next to him and gestures towards the gun parts on the table. "Let's start with disassembling and reassembling."
An hour later Sunshine finds them still at it. Kay can feel the intensity of his gaze boring into the side of his face. When the air between them feels too heavy to ignore, he lifts his head, turning towards Sunshine's heated stare.
"Is there someone you need us to take care of?" asks Sunshine. The threat of violence is unmistakable.
At his side, he feels Moonshine lean closer.
"N — No," says Kay.
Take care of.
As in getting rid of. Killing.
He stares at the barrel of the pistol lying on the table in front of him and lets out a hollow laugh. Then another. And then he can't stop.
"Kay!"
He feels arms wrap around his shaking body and fingers wiping at his cheeks. He can taste salt on his lips. The room turns distorted and Sunshine's blurry face seems clouded. Kay closes his stinging eyes and lets himself go. Lets himself sink into the cradle of warmth beside him
When they take him to his room long after the sun sets, Kay tugs them both inside with him. He kicks off his jeans and tosses his shirt onto the floor next to it. Sunshine and Moonshine follow suit, and they pliantly let him push them down onto the bed. It's a tight fit for the three of them, but they let him wedge himself in between them. Let him rearrange their arms over him and onto each other's waists. Let him cage himself between their warm bodies. Let him feel their soft breaths puff against his neck.
—
He wakes up to the image of Sunshine and Moonshine kissing languidly, their bodies angled towards each other mere inches above him. His first instinct is to pretend he's still sleeping, but the kiss deepens and Kay can't look away.
Sunshine grabs a fistful of Moonshine's hair and angles their heads to give Kay a better view. He drags his tongue across Moonshine's top lip, then pushes his tongue into the panting mouth. Kay watches Moonshine's jaw move as he presses his own tongue against Sunshine's.
Time slows as they pull apart. The saliva on their lips and tongue glimmer in the early morning light.
Kay swallows.
Sunshine smiles down at Kay and whispers, "Will you join us this time?"
Kay nods and Sunshine inches back, leaving just enough space for Kay to sit up. The blanket is pulled away, and he can feel the skin of his bare legs prickle from the cool air.
Moonshine's hand is warm as it slides up his right leg. "How do you want us?" he asks.
What does he want? Days ago Kay would have wanted time to rewind, back to a time before he'd ever felt the full weight of a hammer in his hand, before Nut had stumbled into Pound's radar, before Pk introduced Nut into his life. But he can't have any of that. He can't change the past.
And he can't predict the future, either. He only has now. And he'll take this present that's being offered.
"I want you both."
The hand on his thigh squeezes, prompting him to let his thighs fall open, and nails skate in feather light patterns along his inner thigh. Moonshine dips his head down and presses the edge of his teeth against Kay's shoulder. Kay lets the rest of the room fall away as he focuses on the hot breath on his skin as Moonshine slowly inches closer to the base of his neck.
The hand on his thigh slides up, bunching his boxers up against his groin as fingers wind around the base of his slowly hardening cock.
His nerves come to life with each stroke and by the time he's fully hard, the sensation of his boxers rubbing against the tip of his cock is almost too much to bear, and he nearly buckles when the head of his cock is engulfed in a wet heat.
Sunshine has eased himself in between the two of them, mouthing at Kay over his boxers — the fabric sticking to his skin with a mix of pre-cum and saliva. One of Sunshine's hands has crept up inside the other leg of Kay's boxers, and Sunshine and Moonshine's fingers curl, intertwined, around his cock.
Fuck. "I — I need you both inside me."
All at once, mouth and hands abandon him. The mattress dips and the bed rocks as the three of them scramble to kick off their underwear.
Moonshine throws himself back onto the bed and reaches for Kay's waist. He strokes his thumb up and down, following the V from Kay's hip to his groin.
"Who do you want first?"
"No." Kay shakes his head. "Both."
The grip on his waist tightens.
"Your wish is our command," says Sunshine. But he doesn't come closer. "Moonshine, take care of our dear for a second, will you?"
Kay hears a finger snap and he thinks he sees Sunshine step and disappear through the glass panel of the passenger car door. But then Moonshine pulls him down for a kiss and he stops thinking.
Kay throws one leg over Moonshine, his knees bracketing Moonshine's canting hips. He takes mercy on Moonshine and lowers himself. The line of Moonshine's cock is hot against his. He grinds down and immediately shudders as Moonshine bites his lip. He can barely feel the sting of it over the drag of their cocks against each other.
Moonshine laps at the cut on Kay's lip and when he licks into Kay's mouth, he can taste the metallic tang of blood.
"Beautiful," says Sunshine as he rejoins them on the bed.
There's a light caress on his lower back that trails down his ass, and then further, until fingers gently cup his and Moonshine's balls. Sunshine rubs them gently, teasing them until Kay feels his body lurch. Moonshine groans, half needy and half irritated, as he bucks his pelvis upward with as much force as he can.
Sunshine laughs.
Kay hears the uncapping of a bottle and then Sunshine nudges at him to ease off of Moonshine just enough for Sunshine to slip his hands between them. He feels the cool, viscous liquid drizzle down the length of his cock. He looks down to see lube dripping off of him and onto Moonshine's twitching dick.
Sunshine wraps his hands around both of them, stroking until every inch is slick and gleaming.
Sunshine retreats, but Moonshine has his hand wrapped around them before Kay can miss the touch. They both groan as Moonshine squeezes, pumping their dicks in a steady rhythm.
There's a warm breath on his ass, and then Sunshine's wet fingers trace an intimate loop against his perineum, around the rim of his hole, where the tip of a finger slips in — a too brief tease at what's to come — and then down, back to his perineum. Each pass of his finger has Kay twitching around nothing.
He bites back a sob.
"Beautiful," says Sunshine again, and then his finger finally, finally, finally dips in past the second knuckle and Moonshine curls his fingers around the head of Kay's cock, thumbing at the sensitive slit.
Sunshine slides his finger in and out a handful to times before adding another finger. His thrusts are slow and deep and Kay feels his body burn with heat and hunger. He feels Sunshine's teeth dig into his ass just as fingertips brush against a bundle of nerves that has him jerking from pleasure.
He's suddenly — agonizingly — empty, and then four hands are pushing and pulling at him, readjusting his position until he feels a blunt pressure at his rim.
Moonshine cups Kay's face with a hand, recapturing his attention, then slides it to the back of Kay's head to pull him in for another kiss. As his tongue coaxes Kay's mouth open, he feels Sunshine guide Moonshine's cock inside him. He can feel himself fluttering over the intrusion, clenching and squeezing and begging for more.
He gasps around Moonshine's tongue when he feels Sunshine's tongue on them. Warm and wet and flat against his rim where it's stretched around Moonshine's cock.
The sounds coming from behind him would make Kay blush if he wasn't already flushed and aching to come. He feels light-headed and dizzy with want. Kay loses himself as he pushes back against Sunshine's hungry mouth and strains his neck to chase Moonshine's tongue with his own.
Kay's toes curl as he continues to rock back and forth. He wants to stay here forever. He wants to feel this forever.
He whines into Moonshines mouth when Sunshine stops.
"Moonshine."
Their kiss breaks, and Kay drops his head onto Moonshine's shoulder. He presses a small pout into the skin as Moonshine turns his attention to Sunshine.
"Hold him open for me," continues Sunshine.
Moonshine slides his hands down Kay's body he has both hands resting on Kay's ass. He alternates between kneading his fingers and pulling, massaging and spreading Kay's cheeks apart under Sunshine's watchful eyes.
He feels another drizzle of lube against his rim and then a finger eases itself inside, snug against Moonshine's cock. Sunshine slides his finger in and out of Kay, pressing down and teasing Moonshine in the process.
Sunshine removes his finger and when it returns, there's another with it. Lips press against his rim, as if in comfort, as he stretches over the increasing girth.
Moonshine pulls, spreading Kay as wide as possible, until he can feel his skin go taut. From underneath him, Moonshine shifts, spreading his legs into a V and planting his feet onto the mattress. Kay is forced to brace his arms on either side of Moonshine's head and ease himself onto his knees as he straddles Moonshine's waist.
Sunshine's free hand wraps around Kay's neglected cock and Kay pushes himself back with a groan. Moonshine thrusts up to meet him and they stay like that for a moment — Kay grinding down on Moonshines cock and Sunshine's fingers while Sunshine spreads Kay's pre-cum from the tip of his dick to the base.
Moonshine swears, "Fuck. I need to —"
Kay catches Moonshine's eyes. He looks half-starved and crazy with lust. Before he can think of a response, Sunshine removes his fingers from Kay and Kay feels his breath knocked out of him as Moonshine thrusts up into him at a frenetic pace.
Kay does his best to meet Moonshine for every thrust, but each brush against his prostate renders him a useless twitching mess.
"Shh, we've go you," mutters Sunshine.
Three fingers enter him with Moonshine's next thrust and Kay doesn't bother biting back his next sob.
"Now. Sunshine, please." Kay arches his back in invitation.
There's more lube and everything is so wet and slick and hot, and Kay's entire being focuses on the burning stretch of his rim as the head of Sunshine's dick finally pushes past. And then he's full. He's so full. Stuffed full. Full of the pulsing heat of Sunshine and Moonshine's cocks. Full with a certainty that this is where he belongs.
Something inside him settles, and he lets himself float in this little space between the sun and the moon.