Chapter Text
“Get up, Yuffie.” Red growled, nuzzling at her arm. These words went unheeded. Yuffie Kisaragi remained fast asleep, mouth wide open, drool and snot streaming out of her in equal quantity. This was quite unlike her, because she was the Single Beautiful White Rose of Wutai, Ever-Blooming and Always-Beautiful, and she had certainly NEVER produced snot, drooled, or snored in her life.
Also, her senses were sharp enough that she could never be blindsided, even in her sleep. She fell asleep quickly and woke up lightly.
This all meant nothing, because Wutai had never trained anyone to resist cuddling with Aerith Gainsborough.
Even if you never believed she was a descendant of the Ancients, you would be convinced she was planet-blessed after spending a couple of hours with her. She smelled constantly of flowers, her hair was always sleek and shiny, and she had the greatest personality, always friendly and witty and gorgeous.
Yuffie snuggled a little closer, pressing her nose into Aerith’s arm. Aerith and Red had been awake for an hour now, and still Yuffie showed no signs of waking.
“She is very nearly cute,” Red said. Yuffie responded by letting out an enormous sniffle, her mouth agape. A string of saliva leaked out onto Aerith’s arm.
“I can see her uvula!” Aerith laughed.
“I give up,” Red said. He paced away, then sat on his haunches and cleared his throat. “Yuffie, there is a helpless, gullible man transporting a sack of materia so heavy that it is close to bursting. Perhaps we should help him carry some of it.”
“Where,” Yuffie cried, bolting upright. Her nose collided with Aerith’s cheekbone.
“Now then,” Red said, after Yuffie and Aerith had stopped moaning and laughing respectively. “Let us enter. We have waited long enough. It is morning, and I ill like the hustle and bustle of the place.”
“As you say, Sir Waggington,” Yuffie declared. “These vagabonds shall fall against our might.”
“Please do not call me that.”
“Yuffie, don’t make fun of how Red speaks. Now, let us be off, my brave knights.” Aerith cooed. “The damsel Cloud Strife and his loyal retainer Tifa Locked of Heart await us.”
“Yes, Lady Gainsborough,” Yuffie crowed, and they high fived.
Red sighed.
“Maybe we should play this a lil’ more safely,” Yuffie suggested as they got closer. “We don’t know where Tifa and Cloud are.” They peered around the corner, a very convenient rock formation as cover.
(This rock formation was, one year ago, once the very top part of the hill they had spent the night on. This hill had suffered a brutal decapitation after a certain man had lost his temper and thrown energy slashes and cursed red sigils everywhere.
Yuffie didn’t know this, of course.
But Aerith was an Ancient, and for some reason she was in a particularly unforgiving mood.
She had been too comfortable, you see.
The ground had almost felt like home, their place, the church. Warm, dark mahogany under their palms. His long dark hair against brushing against her arms as they had napped.
The Lifestream was as comforting as it was cruel.)
“Seems like they had a little celebration after nabbing Cloud,” Yuffie said, eyeing the burnt-out bonfire. “Look, they barely even cleared out the motorcycles.”
“They are drunk.” Red said, sniffing. “I think this suits us perfectly.”
“From what I counted yesterday, most of em are clustered in the middle,” Yuffie said. “Even the guards can’t resist a little treat in a banquet like that. You both wait here and find a getaway jeep or something for us. Lemme work my magic. I sneak around and spring Cloud and Tifa, we bust Barret out and we’ll be back upstairs on the road in no time flat!”
Aerith fluttered her eyelids at her, almost innocently. “If most of them are in the middle, wouldn’t that make clearing them out easier?”
“Wha, nuh-uh,” Yuffie said, stunned. Did Aerith not understand her? “We don’t know where Cloud and Tifa are. Just lemme sneak in first through the back or something, scope it out, you both cover our getaway once I find the three of them. You both heard what Cloud said, right?”
Aerith sighed. “You’re right. Cloud did mention that Barret’s not even in here. And I wouldn’t want Cloud and Tifa to get hurt in the crossfire.”
“What crossfire?” Yuffie asked, aghast. “We are not just walking in. My ninja pride won’t allow it! Red, tell her.”
The dog looked between them both, then padded just a bit closer to Yuffie, for once. He was on her side. That was weird in itself.
“What’s up girlie? Why so eager to kick ass-did something happen when I was asleep?”
“We left Cloud and Tifa alone in there for too long. Last night upstairs, too. I’m getting jealous,” Aerith said.
Yuffie, for her part, knew that that couldn’t possibly be true, because Aerith had clamped a hand over her mouth and dragged her away while Tifa had been getting misty-eyed over some actress’s picture.
That lady was gorgeous though. Not as beautiful as yours truly, Yuffie Kisaragi of course. But the lady really did look familiar.
Weird. It was as if Yuffie had beat her ass in Fort Condor or something. But she didn’t really like to think of that game anymore. She had promised she would teach Sonon how to play, and it had hurt too much to carry the pieces around.
(“Jessie,” Tifa had gasped, blindsided and wounded.
“I think Cloud would like to see her too,” Aerith had said, as they stared at the picture. Tifa had nodded, trembling. Aerith had removed both herself and the loveable scamp-little sister from the equation.
For Aerith loved Tifa and Cloud both, and in that order.)
Yuffie was starting to realise that Aerith, while extremely friendly, played her cards pretty close to the chest. This was also a realisation after she made after she had been demolished in Queen’s Blood, Tifa as their referee.
Ugh, Yuffie was gonna have to keep an eye on both these girls, wasn’t she. Aerith was the type to sneak around while Tifa was shy and quiet enough that she had to be pushed into going on dates.
Tifa and Cloud had that undeniable UST going on. LMAO. Shit was obvious the moment Yuffie saw them. Their bodies were almost always angled towards each other. Of course, there was the delightful shade of pink they both had taken on when Yuffie had offered to clone Tifa.
Did Aerith like Cloud? Maybe?
Sometimes she stared at Cloud like he was a ghost. Sometimes her eyes were wet. Barret would shake his head and put a finger to his lips when she had wanted to comment, though.
But Aerith and Tifa were as thick as thieves, so there couldn’t be bad blood or jealousy there.
As for Cloud? Well, he kept on making googoogaagaa eyes at Tifa, and Tifa definitely reciprocated. Synchro Cyclone, her ass. No way Cloud needed to twist around with her that much.
Most people would have forgotten, ignored, or disregarded all this information and kept their nose out of it. It would be the easy and smart thing to do (This was Barret and Red ‘s approach).
However, Yuffie was like 18 years old and didn’t have enough friends, so she lived for this shit. Her mind raced harder than it had ever had.
But of course she was 18, so she was 100 percent more interested in proving herself as the greatest ninja on the planet.
(The teenage-young adult desire to fuck around and find your own identity was unmatched. One could say it was of paramount importance. Yuffie was still discovering herself, especially in the lands so far away from her douchebag of a father.
If you didn’t like yourself, if you didn’t find yourself, bad things could happen.
You would fall into bad company, bad habits. You could end up morally bankrupt and start working for Rufus Shinra. You could end up actually bankrupt after downloading a gacha game.
And what if you really hated yourself; if you were so ashamed of your weakness that you couldn’t stand the sight of yourself in the mirror? What if you couldn’t keep your promises; what if you needed to be protected, what if you were a burden? What if you got so many close to you hurt, killed? What if the man who dragged you out of hell died right in front of you?
Who knows what would happen then?)
“No way,” Yuffie said, all these thoughts and new titbits of information coalescing and filing themselves away in a matter of a seconds. “You are LYING!” Aerith shifted her weight from foot to foot.
“Alright, aight. Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” Yuffie said, showing mercy. “Sneaking in is still the best course. Lemme show ya! I’m reliable, y’know!”
“Hmm,” Aerith pondered out loud, blatantly lying. Her mind was completely made up. “Whatcha think, Red?”
“I know you are upset, Aerith. But the ninja finally speaks and makes tactical sense for once,” Red said, fixing her with a glare.
Yuffie gasped, highly supremely extremely super-duperly offended. “I have very well-honed tactical senses. You should know that, mutt.”
“Winning a few rounds of 3D Brawler does not make you a tactician. The joysticks were not suited to one of my disposition.”
“A few rounds,” Yuffie laughed. “Our score was 7-nil, bozo!”
Red was surprisingly heavy, as Yuffie quickly discovered. Their battle commenced.
It involved biting (not by the dog), pinching (not by the girl with opposable thumbs) and cheering (Aerith found this extremely amusing). Yuffie had the morning sun in her eye, and she barely got to wash her face, okay, so she wouldn’t count this as a loss.
“Say uncle. Say uncle.”
“Uncle, mommy, Aerith,” Yuffie whimpered. Only the third of the deities she prayed to saw fit to aid her.
“Red, please stop crushing Yuffie.” He grudgingly obeyed, taking his paws off her face.
“Looks like we’re doing this my way,” Aerith said, her face betraying a disturbing amount of cheer.
In their cartoonish dust-cloud-scuffle, they had rolled into the direct line of sight of the guards. Yuffie brushed herself off indignantly. “Good job, Red.”
The dog snarled. “This is your fault.” Yuffie ignored him and brightened immensely within the span of a few seconds. This did mean that she would get to fight, just like how she wanted last night. Neat!
“Good morning, folks,” Aerith crooned, as the guards brandished weapons. Their faces were ruddy, and their movements were sloppy as they brought them to bear. “We seem to be oh so lost.”
One of the men leered. “Oh, are ya girlie? We get some visitors sure, but they’re never your type. You from upstairs?”
“Oh yeah,” Aerith said, before Red and Yuffie could. “But it’s a little too…squeaky clean. We’re from Midgar and wanted to see the sights, y’know. Heard this place was just like Wall Market.”
“Wouldn’t peg ya as someone who dipped into Corneo’s honeytrap, girlie. Alright, I’ll humour ya. Come on in. We can show ya around. We’ll even let the dog in too, if he’s trained.” Yuffie stifled a laugh. Red nipped her ankle.
“Hmm, I’m not too impressed so far,” Aerith said, mock peering over their shoulders. “Whatcha guys even up to in there? Wall Market had the Honeybee. Don’t think you all could match that down here.”
“Aww, hold on now that ain’t fair, bitch,” the second guard interjected. Yuffie bristled, ready to kick his ass. “Andrea’s smoother than a Tonberry’s ass.”
“Alright, alright, that is true,” Aerith conceded. “What else ya got? Sell it to me. I got a big purse of gil here.”
“Maybe we should just take it from ya, sweetheart.” Guard 2 said.
“Hey now, Gus told us to work on our social skills.” Guard 1 slurred. “You bastard. This is why we aint a proper establishment.”
Guard 2 laughed. The alcohol in his breath made Yuffie wrinkle her nose. “We sell the same shit, same everywhere, just like Wall Market, girlie. You want a slice of home? Come right in. We have happy endings, cheap booze, expensive booze, materia vapes, cigarettes, Mandragora weed, harder stuff. That good enough for you?”
“Not bad,” Aerith said. “I’d like a look around. Anything else juicier, though?”
“There’s Lyandra’s fortunetelling, if you really want something unique. If you like junkies,” Guard 1 added.
“Like what else? You’re not gonna find much more here, girlie. I mean, if you wanted a good time. I’m no Madam M but I could show you the ropes.” Guard 2 leered.
“I’ll pass. I meant like, something with a little meat, you know. Hmm,” Aerith said, “any arenas?”
“Oh ho ho you’re gonna like this one. Just yesterday we picked up two new applicants. They’ll put on a hell of a show in the fight pits.”
“Oh, just two?” Aerith asked. The verdant gleam in her eyes was making Yuffie uncomfortable. “Who are they?”
“We’ll tell ya girlie, you’re in for a show.” Guard 1 said. “They applied yesterday. Some ex-Shinra blondie and a martial artist.”
“Hah, martial artist? You mean the girl attached to those tits. Almost got a handful myself,” Guard 2 said, and then screamed as Aerith broke his nose.
Yuffie whistled at her technique. That shit was a perfect overhead swing.
Guard 2 fell backwards. Aerith pointed her staff at him, the tip now smudged with blood. “What, wait,” he pleaded.
“Oopsie,” Aerith said, and the ensuing blast of energy sent his limp body hurtling right into the smouldering ashes of the bonfire. The alarm sounded, sirens blaring.
“Aerith,” Red growled. “This is most unwise. We didn’t tell you about seeing that for this very reason.”
“Aww,” Yuffie chuckled from over the unconscious, battered body of Guard 1. “Don’t pretend you haven’t had your hackles up. And we both know that limping guard over there owes us a hand for that.”
“Sorry,” Aerith murmured. “But at least now we know for sure Barret isn’t here.”
“But that was the point of Cloud and Tifa going in.” Red said, flatly. Yuffie looked at Aerith, both acknowledging his point, and then they simultaneously decided to disregard it.
In a flash, the civilians scattered, buzzing in panic and concern, and the guards gathered. There were much more of them this time. But they were hungover, unprepared, and scared. For Aerith was extremely pissed, and Yuffie was a teenager who kicked major fucking ass.
And their one hope of peaceful resolution-the dog- was being heartily ignored.
“Oh nooooo,” Yuffie said, swooning. Aerith caught her. “Woe upon us! What ill have we wrought? We’re surrounded!”
“Yuffie.”
“No, Red. She’s right. We’re completely overwhelmed. We should just give up.” Aerith sobbed, fake tears landing on Yuffie’s face.
“Nah,” they said. “This calls for- “
“More Yuffie,” Red groaned, giving up. The girls cheered.
Yuffie focused; Aerith’s staff glowed, then there were 3,5,7 of her. (Oddly, the ache in Red’s forehead also multiplied by the same number.)
“That’s right, Red.” One of the Yuffies cried, falling to her knees and nuzzling him. “Good boy!”
Then Aerith said something. It was so soft, it was more akin to a whisper, but as Yuffie looked at her Aerith was resolute, firm as the earth, her staff pointed skywards. The guards opened fire, but Red intercepted the bullets, a dust-cloud-energy barrier.
“I’ve waited long enough,” Aerith repeated, solemn, and brought down the Heavens onto Corel Prison.