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Six years into his transition, Steve was pretty confident that he read as male. It had been years since a stranger called him ma’am or simply stopped speaking when they realized they had no idea how to gender him. He worked hard to get to that point. The testosterone did most of the heavy lifting of course, but Steve was adamant about doing everything he could to pass. He worked out, played sports, drank beer, acted dumber than he was, and most importantly of all, he avoided anything feminine. Makeup, nail polish, skirts, dresses, hell even the music he used to love, all of it he abandoned. And he was perfectly fine with that. At least for the first six years.
Then he met Eddie Munson. A man who wore makeup and nail polish and let his hair grow past his shoulders. A man who didn’t really care if his clothes came from the men’s or women’s department as long as they had “metal vibes”. A man who wasn’t afraid to embrace femininity even after he spent years doing hormone injections and thousands of dollars on top surgery to look like the guy he was.
Before he met Eddie, Steve had never considered holding onto anything from when he presented as a girl. The more time they spent together though, the more he opened up to the idea. Eddie wasn’t less of a man when he put on makeup or wore fishnets under his ripped jeans. So maybe Steve could feel secure in exploring femininity too.
*******
Almost a year into his relationship with Eddie, Steve was comfortable with wearing nail polish, and sometimes with a little bit of eye makeup or lipgloss. He let himself listen to Madonna and didn’t monitor the way he crossed his legs. All in all, he was making a lot of progress deconstructing what he thought he had to be to qualify as a “real man.”
Eddie was helping a lot. In fact, it was Eddie’s convincing that led to Steve finally trying on a skirt for the first time in six years.
*******
Steve sat on the edge of the bed in a tee shirt and a pair of boxers, and willed himself to breathe like a normal person. In his lap he held a pair of black panties and a blue skater skirt. Matched with the tee-shirt he already had on, it was a lot like an outfit he would have worn six years ago.
“Baby are you okay?” Eddie asked, gently rubbing his hand up and down Steve’s back.
“Anxious.” Steve answered honestly.
“Do you not want to try it on? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to.” Steve sighed. “I’m just scared.” He rolled the fabric of the skirt back and forth between his fingers.
“It’s okay Stevie. If you don’t like it, you can take it right back off. Nobody will know. This is just for you.”
Steve looked back at his lap, bouncing his leg quickly.
“Stevieee.” Eddie sang. He reached out and squeezed Steve’s hand. When Steve looked up at him, he continued “Will you try it on for me please?”
Steve sighed heavily. “Yeah okay. I can do this.”
He stood up and stepped out of his boxers. His hands shook slightly as he pulled the black panties up his legs. Behind him, he heard Eddie’s breath catch in his throat. Steve felt his face burn in embarrassment. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his palms were sweating, and he hadn’t even put on the main part of the outfit.
He really considered whether it was worth the panic he was feeling, and he thought about calling it off. But he wanted to do this, and Eddie was right about it not being a big deal. It shouldn’t be at least. God he just needed to get it over with- be a man and put on the goddamn skirt.
Steve put on the goddamn skirt. Nervously, he brushed his hands down the fabric. It was a weird sort of familiar. He wasn’t used to his thighs feeling so exposed anymore, and the fabric felt different against his skin than he remembered now that had leg hair. Still unsure of how he felt, he finally turned to face Eddie.
“Do you like it?” He asked.
“Do you like it?” Eddie returned.
“I think so? It’s weird, and it’s making me crazy anxious, but I think I like it.”
“Oh thank god.” Eddie grinned. “because you look hot as hell, and I was really hoping you’d keep it on.”
“Really?”
“Baby, I am being 100% serious, you look so good right now. Do you want to go look in the mirror?”
Steve nodded hesitantly. Wearing it was one thing, but seeing himself in it was a another. He walked over to the mirror hanging on their bathroom door and checked himself out. An initial wave of dysphoria washed over him, but the longer he looked at himself the less it bothered him. Sure he was wearing a skirt, but it was obvious that he was a man wearing a skirt. He kinda liked it.
Eddie came up behind him, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. He reached down and started to trace his hands along Steve’s thighs, brushing down the fabric, then slipping ever so slightly underneath it when he brought his hands back up to Steve’s hips. Steve’s heart skipped a beat.
“What do you think?” Eddie asked, his hands still exploring Steve’s legs.
“I think I want a cigarette.” Steve laughed nervously.
“We can smoke in a second.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “What do you think about the skirt?”
“I think I like it.” Steve nodded. “I definitely like how much you like it.” He glanced down, watching Eddie’s hands in the mirror as they moved towards his inner thighs.
“Oh I’m loving this.” Eddie agreed. He slid his hands to Steve’s ass and squeezed.
Steve gasped in surprise then leaned back against Eddie, relaxing into his arms while Eddie played with his ass and thighs.
“Did you still want a cigarette?” Eddie asked just before he started to kiss Steve’s neck.
“Mhm.” Steve hummed, his eyes fluttering closed when Eddie started to suck a bruise onto his skin.
Eddie pulled away. “Alright. Let’s go outside then.”
Steve faultered. Their apartment was close to the parking lot. At this time of night they probably wouldn’t see anybody, but the chance of being perceived was making his heart race in a bad way again.
“Stevie it’s okay. I’m gonna be right there with you.” Eddie assured, always able to read Steve’s emotions on his face before he says them out loud.
“Okay…”
Steve followed Eddie to their front porch. It wasn’t much of a porch really, just a square of concrete barely large enough to put a camping chair and a tiny table to hold their ashtray, cigarettes, and maybe a drink. Certainly it didn’t provide any privacy from the parking lot.
Steve looked around nervously, checking if anyone was around. He breathed a sigh of relief when we saw that he and Eddie were alone.
Eddie placed a hand on the small of Steve’s back. “You doing okay?” He asked.
“I’m okay.” Steve nodded. “Sorry I’m being so dramatic about this. I know it isn’t supposed to be a big deal.” He started playing with the bottom hem of the skirt again.
“It’s allowed to be a big deal to you Steve. It isn’t to me because I’ve been wearing fem clothes for years, but this is literally the first time you’ve worn something like this in how long?”
“Like six years.”
“Exactly! It’s allowed to be a big deal.”
“I guess. Can we smoke now?” Steve deflected.
Eddie picked up the pack of cigarettes off the table and opened it. “Oh shit, we don’t have any more.” He said.
“Fuck, we don’t?” Steve frowned.
“Guess we have to go get more.” Eddie said casually.
“Yeah I guess.” Steve turned to go back inside.
“Where are you going?”
“Inside to change?”
“You don’t need to change. We’re just going to the gas station.”
“Eddie, are you insane?” Steve asked incredulously. “Somebody could jump me or something!”
“Baby I’ve been to this gas station looking so many different flavors of queer, and it has never been a problem.” Eddie assured. “Also, I would literally kill somebody before I let them hurt you.” He added.
Steve laughed. Even though he knows Eddie wouldn’t literally kill somebody, he did feel safer when Eddie was with him, and he trusted that Eddie knew where they could get away with doing visibly gay shit.
“I think we should go, but the final call is up to you. We don’t have to if you’re really not okay with it.”
Steve pondered it for a minute. He was scared as hell to go out in public dressed the way he was, but he knew rationally that it would be alright. Plus he really wanted a cigarette. Fuck it, he can do this.
“Okay fine, we can go.” He finally said.
“Hell yeah.” Eddie smiled. “Get in the car then, baby.”
*******
Eddie kept his hand on Steve’s thigh the whole way to the gas station and held onto Steve’s hip while they waited in line. At first Steve thought the constant touching was meant to be comforting, but by the time they were halfway home he was positive Eddie had other reasons for touching him so much.
Eddie’s hand had gradually been moving further and further up Steve’s thigh. He was playing it casually, singing along to the music blaring through the speakers and barely glancing Steve’s way, but Steve knew Eddie was trying to rile him up.
It was working. Steve was squirming in the passenger seat and trying his best not to moan when they were still five minutes away from home. Eddie kept sliding his hand up Steve’s leg until it was completely under the skirt, and his pinky was brushing against the bottom of Steve’s panties when he moved it. Then when he was unable to move his hand up any higher, Eddie started to travel between Steve’s thighs.
Just before they pulled back into their apartment complex, Eddie finally touched Steve’s dick. He cupped his hand on Steve’s crotch, and Steve instinctually rolled his hips, grinding against Eddie’s hand. He moaned softly, and Eddie grinned smugly.
Steve kept grinding against Eddie’s hand until the car was parked. He knew he should be embarrassed that he was so soaked and trying to get himself off in the car, on his boyfriend's hand, but he was way too horny to care. After they were parked, he tried to keep going, rolling his hips a little faster, but Eddie took his hand away and got out of the car.
Steve stared at him dumbly until Eddie leaned back in the door and asked “Ready for your cigarette baby?”
Steve didn’t care about the cigarettes anymore. He wanted other things much more. But Eddie seemed to be playing some sort of game, and Steve was always a fair sport, so he agreed.
“Mhm. Yeah, I do.”
“You gotta get out of the car then Stevie.”
Steve blushed, and got out of the car. Eddie walked around to the passenger side, and leaned against the car door. Usually they smoked on their porch, but it wasn’t completely out of the ordinary to smoke by the car. Still, Steve was pretty sure (and pretty hopeful) that Eddie intended to pick up where they left off in the car at some point. He could go with whatever until then.
Eddie lit a cigarette and took a long puff. He handed it over to Steve, and as Steve went to hit it, Eddie slid his hand up the back of Steve’s skirt and squeezed his ass. Steve gasped, holding the cigarette near his lips, but too distracted to actually smoke it. Eddie grinned at him then rescued the cigarette before Steve could burn himself on accident.
He wrapped his hand around Steve’s thigh, massaging it as he took another inhale. Again when Steve went to take his turn with the cigarette, Eddie slid his hand up, but this time he cupped Steve’s pussy through his panties like he had been doing in the car.
Steve moaned and bucked his hips forward, the cigarette still held in his hand. Eddie laughed.
“You’re forgetting to smoke your cigarette Stevie.” He teased. “Do I need to hold it for you?”
Eddie took the cigarette and held it up to Steve’s lips. Steve tried his best to take a hit, but grinding against Eddie's hand was taking up too much of his focus, and he sort of just stood there with his mouth open.
“Stevie. Smoke your cigarette, or I’ll have to move my hand.”
Steve whined in protest, but did manage to take a puff from the cigarette. As he was exhaling Eddie curled one of his fingers, teasing like he was going to slide it into Steve’s cunt. Steve’s head rolled back as he moaned.
“Do we need to go inside Stevie?” Eddie asked in an amused tone.
“No!” Steve exclaimed quickly.
“No?”
“I don’t want you to stop.”
“We’re in public right now baby.” Eddie warned.
“Nobody can see us.” Steve argued.
“Yeah? You need it so bad you want me to touch you in the parking lot?”
“yeah, mhm.” Steve practically moaned.
Eddie laughed again. “It would take less than two minutes to go inside. You really want me to fuck you out here where anyone could see?”
“God, yes please.” Steve moaned again.
“Such a slut.” Eddie shook his head. He slipped his hand under the fabric of Steve's panties and pressed two fingers into his pussy.
“Damn baby, you’re so wet I can already get two fingers in you.”
“Mhm.” Steve hummed, looking at Eddie with wide, blown eyes.
Eddie grinned, then started to lazily fuck his fingers in and out of Steve while he finished the cigarette. When he got to the end of it, he tossed it on the ground and crushed it under his boot.
“You’re the one who wanted a cigarette and you’ve barely smoked any. Light another one for me baby.” Eddie grabbed the cigarette box and lighter off of the top of the car with his free hand and passed them to Steve.
Steve started to light the cigarette, but Eddie began to play with his nipples in addition to finger fucking him. Steve’s hand shook as he clicked the lighter over and over again, hand missing the end just barely as Eddie’s fingers flicked over his chest. Finally he got it lit and handed it to Eddie.
Eddie took a hit, then gave it back. “This one is mostly yours, if you can focus well enough to smoke it, but it seems like you might be feeling a little dumb right now. Do you think you can handle it?”
“I can do it.” Steve said sheepishly, his face burning in embarrassment.
“Good boy.” Eddie grinned, and he started to thrust his fingers in and out of Steve’s pussy faster, curling them in search of his G spot while he smoked.
“Oh fuck.” Steve moaned when Eddie found it, a puff of smoke escaping his mouth.
“Shhh baby, somebody’s gonna hear you if you’re loud like that. You don’t want anyone to see you like this do you?”
“No.” Steve said, face growing impossibly warmer.
Steve struggled his way through about half of the second cigarette before he completely lost the ability to focus on smoking. Everything that was happening was just way too fucking good to think about anything else.
“Eddie I need more.” Steve begged.
“You’ve still got half a cigarette Steve, you can have more whenever you want it.”
“No I need more of you .” Steve complained. He pressed himself down on Eddie’s fingers to emphasize what specifically he needed.
“Hmm. You still don’t want to go inside though?” Eddie asked is a teasing tone.
“No.” Steve answered. He didn’t want Eddie to stop fucking him for a second, much less the two minutes it would take to get to their bedroom. Plus, being outside was really doing something for him.
Eddie pulled his fingers out of Steve’s pussy. “Go lean over the hood of the car then.” He instructed.
Steve whined at the loss of Eddie’s fingers inside of him, but moved on wobbly legs to the front of the car.
Eddie walked up behind him. “I told you to lean over.”
Steve leaned over on the hood of the car, propping his upper body up on his forearms. Eddie flipped Steve’s skirt up and pulled his panties down almost to his knees so Steve was fully exposed to him. He slid two fingers into Steve’s wet pussy, and started to mercilessly fuck him again.
The angle was better now that Steve was bent over, and he let out another loud moan. He knew the more noise he made, the more likely they were to get caught, but he couldn’t have given less of a shit. Eddie was fucking him way too good for Steve to want to stop for any reason.
Eddie grabbed a fistful of Steve’s hair and used it to tilt his head up towards one of the apartments overlooking the parking lot. The curtain was closed, but the lights were on. Somebody was definitely home.
“You know, if our neighbors looked out their window right now, they’d be able to see us.” Eddie said in a low voice. “What would they think? Seeing you bent over our car, in a skirt, getting fucked like the good little slut you are.”
“Fuck I don’t care.” Steve moaned.
“Of course you don’t.” Eddie chuckled. “You’d probably like for people to know how thoroughly I own you huh baby?”
“Mhm.” Steve tried to nod, but Eddie was still holding his hair. Sparks of pain shot across his scalp as his hair was pulled, and he moaned again.
A light turned on in another window. It was probably a coincidence, Steve wasn’t really being loud enough that people could hear him inside their apartments, but if somebody looked out the window or came outside, they were busted for sure. The increased sense of danger made Steve’s pussy pulse. He knew he was interested in exhibitislism as a concept, but shit, turns out he was really into it outside of just conceptually.
“We’ve been out here for a while baby.” Eddie said. He released his hold on Steve’s hair and moved his hand to pinch one of Steve’s nipples. “Playing a dangerous game… I think you’ll have to cum for me soon. Can you do that?”
“Fuck, yeah, probably.” Steve nodded intently.
Eddie rolled Steve’s nipple between his fingers a few times, then slid his hand down to Steve’s hip. He pulled Steve closer to him, which simultaneously plunged his fingers further into Steve’s pussy, and gave Eddie space to touch Steve’s dick.
Steve started to breath faster and heavier as Eddie played with his clit and fucked him. His legs started to shake, and he was letting out a constant string of moans, cursing, and saying Eddie’s name. It was becoming a struggle to prop himself up, so he stopped, instead leaning down with his face against the cool metal of the car hood.
“Fuck, Eddie, baby.” He cried. “I wanna cum so bad.”
“I want you to cum for me Stevie.” Eddie agreed.
He held the fingers he was using to touch Steve’s dick up to Steve’s lips. Steve opened his mouth and quickly began to suck on them, bobbing his head like he was sucking dick. Eddie pulled them out of his mouth with a wet pop, then went back to touching Steve’s dick.
It felt even better now that there was something to ease the friction, and sucking on Eddie’s fingers always puts him a little further into subspace too.
“You can do it baby. Don’t fight it. Just let it happen.” Eddie encouraged. “Cum for me Stevie.”
Steve came so hard he could have sworn his vision blurred. Eddie kept stroking Steve’s t-dick and pumping his fingers in and out of Steve’s pussy, even as it clenched around them.
“Oh god, oh fuck, Eddie.” Steve’s legs started to shake even more intensely, and Eddie was supporting a good bit of his weight. The overstimulation hit him full force, and he felt his liquid soak his legs, the panties still around them, and Eddie’s hand as his fingers were pushed out of Steve’s cunt.
“Oh fuck, that was so hot.” Eddie said. He wiped his hand dry on Steve’s skirt, then flipped the skirt to cover Steve back up. “Take your panties off, you’ll be so uncomfortable walking in them, they’re absolutely soaked.”
Steve blushed, then took of his panties. He bunched them up in his hand, ready to carry them inside, but Eddie took them and put them in his pocket.
Steve gave him a confused look.
“You don’t have pockets.” Eddie shrugged, then moved on. “Well now that you’ve cum and I got you to squirt, are you ready to go inside?”
“Yes, we can go inside.” Steve said, embarassed.
“Sounds good to me. You should probably have some water and a snack.” Eddie told him. He grabbed the cigarettes and lighter and tucked them into the pocket that didn’t have Steve’s wet panties. After he was done putting things away, he wrapped his arm around Steve’s waist and started walking towards the apartment.
“Keep the skirt on though, I have more plans for tonight.”
Steve was 1000% going to keep the skirt on. God he was so glad he agreed to try this. Being a man in a skirt was way better than being a girl in a skirt ever could have been.