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But I see her in the back of my mind
All the time
Like a fever, like I'm burning alive
Like a signDid I cross the line?
She jumps slightly when she hears the doorbell ring, her eyes glancing at her watch on instinct. It was late at night, the moon high up in the sky. She was not expecting anyone but, when she snatches the door open with a loud “What?”, her heart drops for a second at the sight of a certain FBI agent.
“Did you know that it is a universally acknowledged truth that a lady cop cannot be good at her job and have a healthy personal life at the same time?” Rio takes the Pizza from her back forward,” Hungry?”
She is, actually. Starving even. Agatha licks the inside of her lower lip before rolling her eyes, leaving the door wide open for Rio to follow her into the house. “Close the door on your way in.” She reminds the other brunette and makes her way into her kitchen. The door closes with a click and suddenly she’s very aware of Rio behind her, following her.
“You want anything to drink?” Agatha asks, getting herself a beer. The fridge was stocked with them.
Rio shrugs, “Same thing you’re having.” Agatha nods and takes another beer out of the fridge. She had never been a fan of beer as a teen but, as a detective, it kept her sane – or at least that was what she was telling herself. She turns around and hands the bottle to Rio before leaning back against the kitchen counter. She had not seen her in a long while. Not since that case a few years ago. Not since –
“What kind of Pizza did you bring?” Agatha breaks the silence between them and Rio chuckles, knowing Agatha was just making awkward small talk to keep them from talking about the tension in the room.
“Artichoke and black olives.” Rio replies and Agatha bites her lower lip. It was the pizza Agatha always ordered when she was working late at the station. And Rio was there, helping her – with other cases. Fancy dirt always attracts the feds.
She remembers Rio laughing at her when she first saw what was inside the box and Agatha defended herself with a short: It’s good. You just haven’t tried it. But it did not really work as Rio just kept laughing and Agatha hated how much she had actually liked that laugh. How much she missed that laugh now.
“Thank you.” Agatha says and their eyes meet again for a second. Rio has always looked good in those dispensers and those black pants and white blouse. Rio has always looked good. Period.
“We should go to the living room, shouldn’t we?” Rio suggests and Agatha nods, following Rio. She knew her way around Agatha’s house. She had been here countless times in the past. It infuriated her for a second before she started rambling to break the silence.
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“So, she’s a rookie, granted but I say to her, ‘Has the suspect been seen in the last 24 hours?’ and she says, ‘Only on TikTok.’” She chuckled, “And then I say, ‘Well, did you learn anything?’ And she says, ‘That I was totally using the wrong foundation brush.“
They both laugh and Agatha leans back. She glances over at Rio a couple of times before taking an awkwardly long sip of her beer. Rio sits there, all mighty in her chair with her hands on the rest of the arms, the white blouse maybe a button too low, and her legs crossed. God, she looks good in that state, Agatha could not help herself from thinking. This is why she hated working with Rio. At least, now she did. After what happened to Nick.
“I have a lead in the case.” Agatha then says and Rio raises her eyebrow, “That’s not what I came over.” And Agatha feels her heart grow warm as she meets the brunette’s eyes. She hates how it makes her feel and how she feels out of control.
If you want to be in control, you can be. She remembers Rio say earlier today at the station. Before she can continue her thought, she hears Rio’s voice, “But go ahead.”
“There was a car wreck.” She continues, “about an hour before the time of death.”
“Where?”
“Eastview.”
“Eastview.” Rio repeats with a click of her tongue, and Agatha rubs the side of her face.
“See, I thought you turned into a pumpkin that far afield.” Rio notes and Agatha protests, “Hey, I travel. I’m worldly.” And Rio chuckles, “Where have you travelled?”
And Agatha thinks for a moment, “Eastview.” She replies and Rio cannot help but laugh out loud, Agatha joining her a moment later. And it felt good. To laugh, to talk – to not hate each other for a moment. Sometimes Agatha even forgot why she hated Rio. Sometimes she forgot how helpless she felt when she was benched because she was too close to Nick’s case. Because she couldn’t be objective. And Rio was there, her stern eyes keeping her in her place. She hated her for it.
“We could travel.” Rio then says and it takes Agatha by surprise. It’s a nonsensical comment but Agatha can’t help but feel weirdly drawn to it. Once, this had been a real wish of hers. A wish they had even talked about.
“Like Spain or Sweden.” Rio continues and Agatha laughs, “Those are very different countries, darling.” And it rolls so easily off her tongue, Agatha does not even notice she said it. She takes another sip of her beer before clearing her throat, “Anyway, there were bloodstains in the back seat of the car.”
“You think that’s how they moved her?”
“Front two airbags deployed.”
“Maybe two perps.” Rio suggests.
“Maybe.” Agatha thinks but sighs. Rio picks up on it, “But you don’t like it?”
“My gut tells me they’re related but I can’t shake this feeling I’m seeing it wrong.” She’s deep in thought, beer in one hand, the other pressed against her face. She does not notice that Rio gets up and moves towards her. She flinches slightly when she feels fingers on her hand, taking the beer from her – and Agatha letting go without a second thought. She glances up and meets Rio’s eyes, “What?”
“I’m not here to talk about the case anymore, Agatha.” Rio says and puts the beer from Agatha’s hand on the couch table before turning back to face her.
“Then why are you here?” Agatha asks, her voice quiet. Only a whisper.
“Isn’t that obvious?” Rio turns her head, her thumb stroking over Agatha’s temple and cheek, “Come on, Agatha. You know you want to.” She muses and Agatha does. She never stopped wanting to.
She bites her lip, looking up at the brunette before grabbing her suspensers, pulling her down, “I hate you.” And then she crushes their lips together and Agatha hates the way it lightens a fire in her. Passion, she had not felt for so long as she pushed her tongue into Rio’s mouth.
Rio sinks down, her legs now on each side of Agatha’s. She moves her hands over Rio’s shoulders, feeling the soft fabric of her blouse. She moves on to her back, her finger sprawled over it as she pulls the other woman impossibly closer. A moan escapes Rio’s lips, and her hips move forward, pressing against Agatha.
Rio’s hands are buried deep in Agatha’s long brown hair, pulling her head backwards to get a better angle, their lips never separating as their tongues fight for dominance. Agatha could be nervous around Rio but once they crossed the line together, she knew what she wanted, and she knew she would get it.
Agatha removes one hand from Rio’s back and places it on her side, skillfully turning Rio to the side, pressing her into the couch. She’s on top of her now, her knee pressing against her center. There’s a moment where neither of them move. Their eyes saying everything they need to say.
Agatha’s fingers trace over Rio’s temple, her mouth slightly open. It’s quiet and Agatha says in a whisper, “You’re so beautiful.” And Rio gapes up at her before Agatha leans down again, capturing the brunette’s lips. The kiss is softer now. Still passionate but Agatha knows this is the kiss she has dreaded. The kiss with actual feelings. The kiss that feels like they are back at their second case, trapped in the station as somebody had locked them in. Laughing together on the floor. The world had been good back then. Where did that go?
She moves lower, her chest against Rio’s as she kisses her. Rio wraps her legs around Agatha and moves her hand to her cheek. She wants to feel closer to her, rolling her hips against her as she feels the heat inside her building up once more. She notices Rio’s hands moving lower on her back, slowly slipping under the band of her black pants. She shivers slightly at Rio’s cold hands on her naked skin. Cold hands wander further, and she can’t suppress the moan daring to escape her lips as Rio squeezes her ass.
Rio smirks against Agatha’s lips, “You like that?”
“You know I do.” Agatha rasps and presses her lips against Rio again, her fingers starting to work on Rio’s blouse, slowly unbuttoning it one by one. Then she sits up and Rio does the same to slip out of the white shirt, throwing it away somewhere into the room. Agatha bites her lip at the newly exposed sight and pulls her own button-up over her head.
Before she can do anything, she feels Rio’s hands on the back of her head, wet lips brushing over her chest and neck. She throws her head back, holding Rio close as she moans out loud. Rio knows exactly where to touch her, how to hold her and what to say to break her.
She puts her hand through Rio’s hair before pulling it back, making Rio meet her eyes as the woman smirks up at her, a soft sigh escaping her lips, “What now, Agatha?”
Agatha returns the smirk and puts her hand on Rio’s chest, pushing her backwards as she goes down with her, too. She gives her a chaste kiss on the lips before moving in a trail of kisses to her neck, “Well, you said if I wanted to be in control, I can be.” She sucks on her neck, letting her lips and teeth graze against the exposed skin, “So, let me be in control.”
Rio whimpers, sending a shiver down Agatha’s spine. She would lie if she said she did not enjoy having Rio like this. Under her, at her mercy. A moment later, a black bra flew through the air and Agatha’s hand cups one of Rio’s breasts, her mouth licking over the nipple of the other. She feels Rio squirm under her and moves lower, thanking herself for buying a couch big enough as she reaches the waistband of Rio’s black pants. She slowly opens the button and unzips it. Rio moves her legs to help Agatha easily slip them off her legs, exposing her naked skin. Agatha takes Rio’s leg and kisses the side of her knee as she stares at the brunette. Her eyes are glassy, full of anticipation. She wants Agatha, Agatha can tell.
“What do you want me to do, darling?” She asks Rio as she lays down again, small kisses on the inside of Rio’s leg, slowly getting closer to her center. Her finger pulls the string of Rio’s panties, letting it snap back into position. Rio breaks right then and there, a groan escaping her lips, “Just fuck me.” She moans, “Please.” And Agatha smirks, licking her lips as she slips her fingers around each side of Rio’s panties, slowly pulling the string down before she throws it across the room.
Rio shivers and Agatha stares at her hungrily as she moves down, her tongue delving into Rio’s wetness. Rio moans loudly, throwing her head back and burying her hands in Agatha’s hair. She wants to press her further down, wants to wrap her legs around Agatha’s head. But Agatha’s hands press against the insides of her upper legs, keeping her in place. Her tongue moves up and down Rio’s folds, slow, patiently.
“More.” Rio whimpers, “Stop teasing me, baby.”
Agatha smirks and lets her fingers graze closer to Rio’s center.
“God, you’re so wet for me.” Agatha huffs before pressing two fingers into Rio, the tight feeling around them making her shiver. Rio runs a hand through her own hair, gasping loudly as she feels Agatha’s finger enter her, “Fuck, yes.” She moans and grips onto Agatha’s hair sinfully, pushing her down. Agatha lets her tongue swirl around Rio’s clit, wanting to taste every inch of her.
She lets her finger slip in and out of Rio, the other woman getting louder by the second. She curls her fingers up, making Rio cry out in pleasure, “Fuck, yes. Just like that, baby.” Agatha repeats the movement, relishing in the sounds Rio is making. The motion of her fingers speeds up, her tongue sucking more and harder. Rio’s hips move with the pleasure she feels, hurried huffs of air escaping her lips, “Fuck, Agatha.”
And Agatha knows what she wants. She pushes her fingers deep inside the other woman as she moves up, capturing Rio’s opened mouth. She can feel Rio shiver under her touch, breathing deeply into the kiss.
“Can you come for me, darling?” Agatha purrs, curling her fingers again as Rio squirms under her once more. She moans heavily against Agatha’s lips and Agatha knows that she is close. She hates how well she knows her. Knows what she likes and what she wants. Her thumb is still stroking over Rio’s erect clit, her other fingers pushing in and out.
Rio grabs the side of Agatha’s head as she comes, groaning as she bucks her hips and a feeling of release rushes through her veins. She wants to throw her head back, but Agatha holds her head in place and the way Agatha took control makes her feel things she has never felt with anyone else. She rides out her orgasm on Agatha’s fingers, the movement becoming slower and slower before Agatha removes them, bringing them up to her face to enclose her lips around them, tasting Rio once more. Rio watches her, heat rushing back to all her sensitive places.
She catches her breath a second later, crashing their lips together again.
“Fuck, Agatha.” She curses and turns the around, sitting on top of Agatha now, “You’re wearing way too many clothes. Agatha smirks and sits up, holding Rio up at her back, looking up at the other brunette.
“Maybe we should move this to the bedroom then to continue.” She husks and Rio kisses her again, nodding.
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She wakes up in the middle of the night. The numbers on the clock on her nightstand telling her that she should definitely go back to sleep in dark red. She glances to her side and a smile creeps up her lips. Rio is lying face towards her. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, Agatha thinks. She cannot help but brush a strand of hair out of Rio’s face, tucking it behind her ear. Rio moves slightly and Agatha retracts her hand immediately. She relaxes again when Rio’s eyes stay close. She lets out a sigh.
God, she never stopped loving her, did she?
She sighs once more and pushes herself off the bed. She tries to be as quiet as possible as she moves downstairs to the kitchen, filling a glass with water. The cold liquid running down her throat feels good and flashbacks of the previous night flash over her eyes. She takes a deep breath and touches her chest with her hand, trying to calm down her heartbeat.
She knew it was not Rio’s fault. None of this was. That car came out of nowhere and he was gone the instant it hit them. Rio was there to pick up the pieces – like always, but Agatha resented her for excluding her from the case. That driver deserved to be punished but Agatha could not look at it objectively to find him. Rio cut her off and Agatha took her grief out on her, blaming her for everything that had happened. Maybe things would have been different if they had found the driver at some point.
She feels fingers run through her hair, reaching for her back. Agatha leans her head back, letting out a soft moan. She turns around to face Rio and lets out a sigh, putting her hand on the back of Rio’s head to pull her into a hug. It feels good to touch like this, with her heart on her sleeve. Rio’s arms around her and Agatha feels like a weight lifts from her shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Rio.” She whispers and buries her head in the crook of Rio’s neck. Tears roll down her cheeks and Rio just holds her because that’s exactly what she needs, and Rio knows that. Rio always knows what she needs, even when she’s not so sure herself.
After a few moments pass, she leans back and lets her hands stroke over each side of Rio’s face. She meets her eyes.
“Do you hate me?” She asks in only a whisper, afraid of the answer. Rio shakes her head and pulls Agatha closer by putting her hands on her hips, “I could never hate you, Agatha.” Then she sighs.
“And I don’t blame you for anything.” Rio says slowly, “But Nick…” She stops for a second, looking down, “Nick was like a son to me, too.” And Agatha nods, biting her lip to suppress more tears from falling, “I- I know.”
She remembers the excitement she felt when Nick got along with Rio. When Rio played with him, his laugh was genuine. When she told him Rio would be coming over and his face lit up. When she told him they were together and he laughed, telling her that it had been obvious from the first time she introduced her. And even when he gave her a hug after they had had dinner at Rio’s place. Rio had offered them to stay the night but Agatha insisted on driving home. She would regret that choice only half an hour later.
She gasps quietly as she feels Rio’s thumb stroking over her cheek, brushing her tears away, “Hey, hey.” She says softly before closing the gap between them. The kiss is quick, but it says everything they want to say. They lean their foreheads together and Agatha exhales, “I love you. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”
And Rio nods, “I know.” She sighs softly, “I love you, too.”
And she did. Even if the world was not fixed by those little three words. Even though there were still so many unspoken things between them. Even though things would not go back to how they were before – they probably never would. But, for now, that didn’t matter. Right now, they loved each other and that was enough for the moment.
THE END