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Dan Feng should have known better than to trust Jing Yuan. The situation had come about with Jing Yuan’s comments about his serious face, and attitude, and how he needed to relax and wind down. How naive of Dan Feng to expect something like a dancer or a musician. Leave it to a perverted old military general to suggest a place of entertainment to him and have the entertainment be… sex.
Now, of course Jing Yuan hadn’t directed the High Elder of the Luofu Vidyadhara to some rundown brothel. The establishment had impressive architecture and looked very well-maintained. Indeed, even as he’d been walking to get there, the streets felt significantly less dangerous than other unsavory parts of the Luofu.
He had been greeted by the lady of the house, Jingliu, a white-haired woman with an ageless appearance. He faintly recognized her name, but from where, he couldn’t recall. He’d given her his own name and appointment, and she’d been delighted to find out about his status as High Elder.
Jingliu had spoken warm and welcoming words to him as she led him down the tiled hallway, cleaned so well Dan Feng could see their blurry reflections on the floor.
The courtesan Jing Yuan had set him up with had already been waiting in the room for him, and Jingliu had generously opened the door for Dan Feng. The door had barely made a sound as it closed, sealing his fate for the night.
The man sitting before him was quite possibly the most beautiful man he’d ever seen in his life. It was no wonder he was popular according to Jing Yuan.
His silky dark hair had been tied in a simple yet sophisticated looped ponytail, held together with a bright red ribbon. A faint rouge decorated his plush lips, and his skin was pale like white jade (almost sickly pale if Dan Feng thought about it more). The elegant red qiyao ruqun he wore did not hide his broad frame, but Jing Yuan must have really known Dan Feng well to remember that he preferred larger, strong men.
The young man’s gaze was fixated on a candle flame in the corner of a room. Only when he noticed Dan Feng did he stand up to bow before him.
“Welcome, honored guest. It is my greatest pleasure to serve you tonight,” He said, his voice delicate and high, beautiful but clearly not his natural tone. He straightened himself out, “Sir, may I ask what name I may call you by?”
“... Dan Feng,” He said.
“I am called Ren. It is an honor to meet you,” Ren said sweetly, “Shall I serve you tea or wine?”
“Just tea would be fine,” Dan Feng said.
Ren gestured for him to sit down at a low table, and Dan Feng did so, tucking his knees underneath him.
As Ren took the clay pot from its flame and poured the tea, Dan Feng inquired, “You’re called Ren as in ‘blade edge?’ Why is that?”
Ren set down the teapot and frowned, “It’s just a nickname she- Madame Jingliu- gave me. I never liked when guests used my real name anyway.”
Dan Feng nodded, “This tea is exquisite by the way.”
“It’s pu’er. A generous patron of ours gifted a package of these tea cakes to the house. I believe you are acquainted with him,” Ren said.
Dan Feng groaned, “Don’t tell me…”
“Okay, I won’t,” Ren said.
“Ah- hey, I didn’t mean it literally!” Dan Feng sputtered.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Ren smiled, “In any case, since you do wish to know, that patron is the General Jing Yuan.”
Dan Feng sighed, “Of course it is. Not that I care about his hobbies, but can’t he spend his money on something more respectable like charity…?” He shook his head, muttering a couple more disparaging criticisms about his friend.
“Sir,” Ren started, “Do you even want to be here?”
“Ah, I don’t want to leave yet, or else Jing Yuan will definitely make fun of me,” Dan Feng said. “It is my first time… at such an establishment, that is. So, I’m sorry if I say something wrong or act stupidly. I just don’t know what to do here.”
“I see,” Ren said. “Don’t feel worried. I have served much more unruly and incompetent clients before you, and they all left satisfied. Your pleasure is my highest priority. Let me take care of you.”
“Right, then shall we…?” Dan Feng’s gaze drifted to the bed in the room. It was large - of course it was, it had to fit at least two people - and adorned with shining silks and soft pillows.
“Yes, of course,” Ren said. He extinguished the flame from underneath the teapot and stood up. He offered a hand down towards Dan Feng.
“Thank you,” Dan Feng said, taking Ren’s hand to lift himself up. Ren’s grip was firm, and Dan Feng hadn’t realized until now how large the man’s hands were. Ren was tall too. Even taller than Dan Feng, and he considered himself to be above average height.
Dan Feng was led to the bed, and as soon as he sat down on the mattress, Ren straddled his lap. He was surprisingly light for someone of his size but definitely still weighty on top of Dan Feng. His hand moved to hold onto one of Ren’s thick thighs through thin fabric, and he brought his other to grasp Ren’s chin, guiding the young man to look at him.
“May I kiss you?” Dan Feng asked.
“You don’t have to ask. I’m yours for the night,” Ren said.
“Okay…” Dan Feng said. He was used to having his way, though it was usually done with diplomacy. Servants had waited on him since he was born, but he’d never just done anything to them without asking. To be told he could just do whatever he wanted to someone, especially in such an intimate setting, felt rather wrong.
But perhaps that was just how things went in a brothel. Or maybe Ren had a fetish for being used.
He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Ren’s. It wasn’t his first kiss by any means. That had been some handsome Foxian, perhaps five decades ago. But it was still one of the few rare kisses he’d had in a long time. As a Vidyadhara, he had no parents or relatives to provide him even familial kisses.
Ren let Dan Feng slide his tongue into his mouth. It was soft, wet, and warm. He could feel Ren’s body heat against him as the young man rolled his hips forward onto him.
Dan Feng’s hand wandered to the sash at Ren’s waist, deftly undoing the knots and letting his robes loosen up. Ren’s chest was broad and wrapped in bandages. Tentatively, Dan Feng ran his hand along Ren’s large pectorals.
Ren bit his lower lips, softly moaning as Dan Feng tenderly squeezed at his chest.
Finally, Dan Feng shrugged off the rest of Ren’s upper robes, revealing his toned biceps, and muscular shoulders, and… dozens and dozens of scars. Many of them were concentrated on his wrists, likely self-inflicted, but others were all over his shoulders and arms. If Ren turned around, Dan Feng could imagine that more scars sprawled over his back.
Ren noticed Dan Feng faltering. “Is there something wrong, sir?”
Dan Feng didn’t know Ren very well, but he had felt there was something off about the situation for a while. But now, Dan Feng couldn’t bear to continue.
He tried to put Ren’s robe back on muttering, “I’m so sorry. I- I can’t do this.”
Ren didn’t get off him yet, “Am I not to your liking?”
“No, it’s just-” Dan Feng started, trying to subtly wriggle out from under Ren. “This is my first time. I’d rather do this with someone I love. I hope you understand. I don’t mean to offend you, alright?”
Ren looked down at him with an indiscernible expression, his voice lowered to what was likely his natural tone, “Yes… I understand… How privileged you are to be able to choose who your first time is with.”
Suddenly Ren pushed Dan Feng back onto the bed. The young man’s strong hands circled around Dan Feng’s throat. He growled down at him, “You come in here acting like you’re too good for this place. But if the wrong people got their hands on your pretty face, you’d sell for a good price, and then you’d get fucked by strangers like the dumb whore you could be!”
His grip on Dan Feng’s neck grew tighter. He was rambling now, “I should just kill you now so you never get a chance to have your first time. That woman might finally whip me to death as punishment, and I’d be glad for it! So, fuck you!”
Dan Feng could fight back. He could use his cloudhymn magic to summon a wave against the young man choking him. Any normal person would at least be trying to take their attacker’s hands off of them. Yet he didn’t. He didn’t even want to fight back.
He looked up at Ren, towering above him. There was rage in his eyes, yet it wasn’t even directed at Dan Feng. It was anger towards the world around him.
Instead of fighting, for some reason unknown to himself, Dan Feng reached out to the man above him and caressed his cheek.
Perhaps he was surprised by the gentle touch, but Ren’s hold on Dan Feng loosened. The Vidyadhara used the opportunity to get Ren’s hands off of him and to finally shimmy out from underneath the man. He got off of the bed, heaving for his breath.
Ren was looking up at him in shock, his mouth slightly parted, his eyes wide. He was holding onto his cheek as if Dan Feng had slapped him instead of having merely touched him. “Why… why didn’t you fight back?” he asked.
Dan Feng rubbed at his throat and hoarsely said, “You might die if I tried to fight you.”
Ren shrugged, “I’d welcome it...”
“Well, I don’t want to kill you,” Dan Feng said. “I have no interest in stoking conflict. In fact, I should just go now.”
He turned to leave, but Ren called out, “W-wait! Don’t leave.”
Dan Feng glanced back, “Why should I stay? You did try to choke me to death.”
“I promise I won’t do that again. But if you leave so early, Jingliu might find out you weren’t satisfied with me, and she’ll punish me. And it won’t be as kind as death. Please, just stay a little while longer,” Ren pleaded. Dan Feng could see legitimate fear in his eyes.
What a pitiful life. To accept death but fear any harm lesser than it. To leave and let Ren get hurt would be akin to kicking an already injured puppy. Even without personally knowing the animal, any decent person would at least not add to its pain. He may not be able to do anything about the young man’s situation, but not making things worse would keep Dan Feng from having a guilty conscience.
Dan Feng sighed, “Alright. I’ll stay for a little bit more, but we’re not having sex.”
“Right,” Ren said, adjusting his clothes to look decent again. “Then, shall I serve you some more tea?”
“Honestly, I think I need a drink,” Dan Feng said, sitting back down at the low table.
“Much agreed,” Ren said. With a sweep of flowing fabric, the young man got off the bed to fetch a jar of wine and two cups. He returned to the table to sit across from Dan Feng.
He poured a drink for Dan Feng and then one for himself.
Taking the cup into his hand, Dan Feng took a light sniff of the alcohol. A good rice wine might have a more floral or fruity scent to overtake the smell of rice. The cup he’d just been handed had an overwhelmingly alcoholic scent, a sign of lower quality. Dan Feng already did not have high expectations.
However, he could see that Ren was looking at him expectantly, not yet taking a sip of his own cup until Dan Feng did.
Reluctantly, Dan Feng took a modest sip of his wine and… refrained from cringing.
“It’s… it’s not bad,” Dan Feng lied.
Ren frowned, “You can be honest with me.”
“It just tastes rather… cheap,” Dan Feng admitted.
Ren downed the entire cup before scoffing and saying, “Well, princess, I’m sorry that we can’t accommodate to your expensive and lofty tastes.”
Dan Feng scowled, “Very funny. I’m not a princess. Or a prince for that matter.”
“What are you then?” Ren inquired.
“That is none of your business,” Dan Feng said.
“How old are you?” Ren asked.
“Much older than you,” Dan Feng responded.
“Would you say you’re about a thousand?” Ren asked.
“I’m certainly quite a few centuries younger than that,” Dan Feng said. “And how old are you?”
“Twenty-one,” Ren said. He was so young…
They passed the time with more awkward small talk. Ren had been working in the house of Madame Jingliu for four years. The math Dan Feng did in his head led to an unpleasant answer that he would rather not think about. Though not revealing his position as High Elder, Dan Feng had indicated his importance in politics, which Ren sneered at.
Somehow, Ren could make an ugly expression like that look pleasant to the eyes.
Even though Dan Feng wasn’t going to sleep with Ren, he couldn’t help but still get distracted by the young man’s beauty. The moonlight shining through the window highlighted the sharp features of his pale face. Though Ren wasn’t inebriated, his face still had a faint rosy blush after drinking a few cups of wine.
He wanted to know more about the man in front of him. If only they’d met in a more normal setting, perhaps they would be able to get to know each other properly. But unless Dan Feng came back to this brothel, these streets, it was unlikely a man like himself would ever randomly cross the paths of a man like Ren.
“Sir, I think enough time has passed that you can leave if you want,” Ren suddenly said.
“Oh,” Dan Feng said. He’d almost gotten used to being around Ren that he felt hesitant to leave. How immature of him to so easily get attached to a stranger, a stranger that had attacked him no less. “Am I your last client for the night?”
Ren nodded. Good. If he was the last, that meant Ren could hopefully have more time to rest after Dan Feng left. Though if he hadn’t been Ren’s last client… Dan Feng may have selfishly wished to stay longer.
His good conscience would say that it was because he did not want Ren to have to spend more time with the next client, potentially the disgusting type of man who frequented brothels. But the already possessive side of Dan Feng knew it was because he couldn’t bear the thought of any other man having Ren when he couldn’t.
He may have been selfish in heart, but he was not selfish in practice. No matter what, he wouldn’t take Ren in these circumstances. He wouldn’t make himself another client to add to Ren’s distress.
And Dan Feng’s own desires didn’t matter if Ren didn’t reciprocate. For all he knew, Ren saw him as another client, one who didn’t want to have sex with him, but still a client nonetheless.
“I’ll be on my way then,” Dan Feng said, getting up from his seat. “Thank you, Ren.”
Ren scoffed, “I didn’t do anything for you to thank me for.” He wasn’t looking at Dan Feng anymore.
“Alright then. Goodbye, Ren,” Dan Feng said.
Ren said nothing in response. Dan Feng’s time with him was truly over.
As he left, Dan Feng gently closed the door behind him. On his way out of the brothel house, he was met with Jingliu waiting for him to make his payment.
The woman gave him a saccharine smile, “Thank you for your patronage. What did you think?”
“Ren, he was very satisfying. A bit aloof, but I liked it,” Dan Feng said and added. “I don’t believe I’ll return though. Just out of a personal preference, not because of my experience tonight.”
Jingliu’s expression returned to a neutral one, “I see. That’s unfortunate to hear, but I thank you still. Now about the payment…”
Considering the dangerous district they were in, Dan Feng hadn’t brought much money on his person, should any thief try to rob him. He wrote a check for Jingliu to take up, and with the coins he did have, he added a generous tip for Ren specifically to have.
Finally, Dan Feng could leave. He hoped that Ren could have a peaceful rest of that night.
~
The young man once known as Yingxing retired for the night. Ren had wiped away all his makeup and taken off his dress. Back in his small room, he was in his sleeping robes, and he collapsed onto his bed.
Another night had ended, and when he would wake up, tomorrow would be just the same. As always.
Ren had seen the foolish look on that man’s face. The pity. The infatuation. He didn’t know which type of man he hated more, the kind who would just use him for their own pleasure or the men who pretended like they could “save” him.
If he had to guess, if he ever saw him again, Dan Feng would fall into the latter category.
But only a stupid and naive person would believe that it was so easy to get out of this life.
It would be best for the both of them to never run into each other again.
He held his pillow close to his chest, craving touch yet hating it. Like many other aspects of his life, this contradiction was something he believed he would never escape.
Ren closed his eyes and could only hope that he didn’t open them the next morning.