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Summary
Deadpool does a better job understanding Spider-Man's strengths and limitations as an autistic super than pretty much anyone else does. This doesn't stop Peter from getting involved with a cult while investigting a series of suicide bombers. He's just that much of a disaster, autistic or not.
I play fast and loose with canon but try to stay true to (what I perceive to be) the spirit of the characters. Note that neither Peter nor Wade are based on any movie versions.
• Chapter-specific warnings will be given.
• Story/chapter titles are all Eels songs. -
Bookmark Notes:
I am partially through I should finish
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Read the first half of this 8 years ago, in 2016. Beautiful representation of autism
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Good stuff tho I didn't read all the tags and the Type of Smut picked me up and threw me out a window in surprise. Great characterization
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Stopped: Ch 16 rock hard place, a bit into section 3 (as they start getting it on)
[[ I have a feeling I won’t finish this. It’s just soooooooo long and my limit tends to be a hard 140k.
Supposedly the average book is 50–120k words. 80 is a good average length.
But once I get past that point it’s like pulling teeth. Idk why I’m like this.
I used to devour books that were 150-300k words in a day or three. Original works with original characters and stories.
Now I only read fanfiction and despite reading the same characters and relationships over and over I can’t read the same story for too long or I completely lose interest. Even if it’s interesting. Idk man. ]]I wasn’t gonna read this one. I just wanted to get a picture of the character portrayals, particularly ASD Peter. (It’s a unique perspective I enjoy in literature.) Maybe read the first chapter and then leave it alone because 200k jfc. But then it was really interesting. I enjoy the style of narration and storytelling here a lot. It’s very slow paced which is usually not my style but still packed with information, still moving steadily along, driven by dialogue, observation, and introspection. I love Peter’s character here and the way he talks vs the way he thinks. And once again, unique narration. Well written ASD characters are always some of my favorites. (OCD characters often have similar patterns in the way they’re written as well, which is another narrative style I really like. Something about the repetition in numbers/words/actions; the clinical, analytical way of viewing and cataloging the world/experiences; the straight forward yet complex thought processes. Mmm.) The way the author writes dissociation is very… accurate? relatable? — it’s disorienting just to read. I think dissociation can be difficult to describe/relate/put into words. So it’s well done. Kudos for that. I wish there was more infodumping or simply more birds in the story. I loved the first chapter. I don’t know that much about birds. I think they’re cool though; it’s fun to learn about them. But after the first chapter the references to them were much less, except when he describes the avengers as birds — that whole conversation was hilarious. More good shit: the whole zoning in/out thing, especially with the fluctuation between verbal/non-verbal communication (or lack of it); the description of overwhelm and sense-overload and consequent shutting down.
[[ personal rant time: I’ve been generally tested for autism (at the same time as other cognitive testing), but only diagnosed with ADHD (and anxiety/panic disorders, especially social anxiety, and major depression), with a tentative OCD diagnosis from my therapist. I exhibit a lot of behavior associated with autism though, so ig that’s why I relate to autistic people so much both irl and in stories. I’ve never related to people more before. I’ve always felt so out of place and isolated. I know you’re either autistic or you’re not, but I can’t help but view myself as “a little autistic”. Not like that “we’re all a little autistic” because that’s dumb and false, but like I’m on the verge of the spectrum. Straddling the line so to speak. I don’t tell people that, obviously, because it’s silly.
But this story, man. Scratched an itch I wasn’t fully aware of.
okay, spoilers: the part where he’s homeless for a bit — he’s like, I need to be useful because otherwise I’m worthless. And he basically views himself as a tool to help other people rather than a person with needs/wants who deserves the same treatment as anyone else. Like fuck man. Way to call me out. And the part where he thinks about applying for jobs or packing his stuff up and just the thought has him wanting to sleep for a million years. That’s my whole life rn. And idk about weighted blankets; when my blankets are too tight or heavy I feel suffocated and claustrophobic — but when he goes under the mattress, god idk why that part hit so hard but it really did, like that feeling of being surrounded on all sides, I like couch cushions on top of me and I like to lie on the floor and sometimes I really wish I could crawl under the bed and just exist there for a while all alone and safe. Idk. It’s makes me want to grab a mattress and go under it like that. I don’t have room to do that though. And the part where’s he’s in the cult and he is comforted by the routine and clear concise rules and being instructed on what do and he doesn’t have to think or be anyone for a while, he can just let other people direct him. Sometimes I feel like I need that. Like I’m lost without clear directions from other people on how to live. Ultimately I can’t stand authority and I struggle to stick to routine no matter how much I like it or need it. But sometimes I can’t do anything until I’m told to do something and given a strict deadline. Basically I’m saying this is close to home. ]]omg
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Bookmark Notes:
awwwww