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Joel would have to be hard-pressed to explain why he was so obsessed with killing xB.
Sure, the man was great, all of the Hermits were, but Joel had no familiarity with him, and probably even less cause to start hunting him down than he did some of the other guys. Most of the Hermits he knew personally by now were out of the game, so maybe that explained some of it, but surely not all. Joel was no stranger to messing with his acquaintances, and besides, Mumbo, Pearl, and Xisuma were all in the game still, and Joel was a lot more familiar with them than xB. It could’ve been xB’s proximity, too, but the man wasn’t that close to the Cherry Blossom Mountain⎯ Magic Mountain? Joel didn’t really know or care what they were calling it, honestly.
Maybe it was just the fact that the man was immortal.
And…annoyingly unruffled, in that sort of casual, happy-to-see-him way.
Joel was a bit baffled by the behaviour, honestly. He’d never been greeted with such optimism by one of his intended victims. Heck, even Scott in the Life Games knew better than to greet him with anything beyond surface pleasantry by now, since they were very clearly destined enemies. xB was an entirely different ballgame; his ease went way beyond surface-level politeness. Every hole in the ground was sidestepped, every tripwire taken down, every TnT minecart dismantled, and yet still, xB never failed to be anything less than happy to see him. Every failure of Joel’s was greeted with a ‘Hey, Beans!’ no matter how deadly it would’ve been, even when xB couldn’t see him.
Now, Joel had a lot of experience killing people⎯
It came with the territory of being friends with Grian, of course, it wasn’t like it was a personal choice or anything. Participating in the Life Games earned someone a one-way ticket into killing all of their friends for the fun of it, and while Joel argued that you had to be a certain level of deranged to be friends with Grian in the first place, most people who came out of the games were well-adjusted. Like him! Joel was perfectly sane and respectable…
Except for when it came to blummin’ xB, apparently.
He could feel himself slowly descending into frustration and annoyance the longer xB evaded his traps. Not at xB, really, more at himself and the stupid game, but it was there nonetheless. It felt eerily similar to the Red Haze, and Joel wasn’t sure what kind of person it made him to embrace the feeling with open arms. He was known to be competitive, sure, but so was Grian and Jimmy, and he didn’t see them getting bent out of shape over silly little games of Demise the way he did⎯
Whatever.
It didn’t matter because this time he’d really get xB.
His idea was genius!
Joel would corner xB in some nondescript place on the server, maybe in public, just so people really knew he wasn’t trying to kill xB again, even though he was, and he’d usher xB into a private area that he’d already set up previously, filled with traps and poison to get xB down enough hearts that fall into a small pit of dripstone would kill him instantly. He would make it seem like it was all happening by accident, just so it was even more of a surprise when that death message popped up in chat, <xBCrafted> was impaled on a stalagmite while fighting <Smallishbeans>.
It was a flawless plan, if Joel did say so himself.
He hummed to himself as he continued putting the finishing touches on his cute little picnic area, tucked away further within Magic Mountain somewhat near where he intended his base to be. Joel was nothing if not pragmatic, and he didn’t want this to get too in the way of his ever-growing plans for expansion. However, just because it was intended to be xB’s final resting place didn’t mean that it had to be ugly.
Joel had dug into the mountain itself, artificially creating a small grotto. The passageway to enter the space was narrow, with strategically placed spots for hidden skeletons to be. They would knock xB down a few hearts as he passed by, while Joel could lie and say that he hadn’t lit up the area enough. Pssh, he was glad that xB didn’t know him as well as some of the other Hermits, because they knew that Joel would never be so forgetful⎯
The hair on the back of Joel’s neck raised.
…ssss
He whirled around, driving his sword into the soft, fluffy belly of a sneaky creeper. The mob gave one last sputtering hiss before its code sparked out of existence, leaving Joel to sheathe his sword against his hip once more. He shook his head with a click of his tongue, frowning at the thought of how much damage the creeper could’ve done to his project.
Okay.
Maybe Joel didn’t always remember to light up his spaces.
“Blummin’ creepers,” He muttered to himself, glaring at the small pile of gunpowder, all that was left of the hostile mob. Joel kicked it into the grass, shifting it around so it wouldn’t be so obvious what it was, and fished a few torches from his inventory with a pleasant ‘ding!’ sound. With a few deft steps, he placed a couple on the walls near the ground. The plan was to knock xB’s hearts down with this, not harm himself!
With the light sources taken care of, Joel returned to the wall that he’d been previously looking at, wondering how to turn it into something hurtful. He didn’t want any of these things to outright kill xB, since he needed that kill himself, but it couldn’t hurt… Hm, maybe Joel would simply plant a row of sweetberry bushes! There would be cherry blossom trees, too, of course, to hide the eventual give-away ground just beyond them that would disguise the pit of dripstone spikes.
Skeletons, sweetberry bushes, and then poisonous food⎯
It didn’t feel like enough.
Joel hemmed and hawed all while pulling out the bushes from his inventory and quickly planting them around the small space, hanging up a few glowberry vines from the ceiling as an afterthought. They’d probably grow within the time it took to retrieve xB, but maybe he’d bonemeal them just in case. Dimmer lighting would explain why skeletons had spawned, as Joel would take the torches out of the grotto once he left. Oh! A small pond, that’s what the space was missing. Who wanted to go on a picnic underground that didn’t have a water feature?
Joel rolled his eyes.
Only losers didn’t have water features with their picnics, in his opinion.
He started chipping away at the corner of the little grotto, quickly creating a small area for water to flow into. He filled the bed of the pond with kelp and seagrass, plus a few decorative sea pickles. After that, all that was left was to pour the water, tying the entire water feature together. Joel planted a few cherry tree saplings while the water slowly flowed down from the source block he’d placed in the wall, bonemealing them until they towered far above him, soft, pink petals stretching towards the high rocky ceiling. There was a hole already dug behind the trees that he filled with dripstone, grinning to himself all the while. xB would never see this coming, he just knew it. With the pit taken care of, Joel arranged an artful picnic blanket upon the ground, making sure the sweetberry bushes had grown enough to prick him. They didn’t do a lot of damage, but that wasn’t what Joel was aiming for anyway.
He took a few steps back, surveying the space with a critical expression. It looked alright, he thought⎯ A bit romantic, in all honesty. Joel felt his entire face warm at the thought. It wasn’t as if he liked xB. For crying out loud, the entire picnic was a scheme to kill the man!
Didn’t exactly disprove the idea that you’ve got a crush…
Joel scowled, mentally waving away the thought that sounded suspiciously like his wife. He swore Lizzie must have had a sixth sense for these kinds of things. She was the one to figure out that he liked Etho well beyond a platonic sense, cementing them as partners today, and the one to encourage him to have his fling with Scott, even though neither of them chose to settle for something permanent. She had a knack for this sort of thing; Joel assumed it came with years of knowing him and his tells, but it never failed to warm his heart.
Still, it didn’t matter what sort of sixth sense his wife may or may not have had, she wasn’t actually there.
It was only his stupid brain, making up ridiculous thoughts just to spite him.
Joel turned around and exited the cave, blinking rapidly against the sudden influx of bright light. It stung, just slightly, but the pain soon faded, leaving him with the view of his small starter base. Looking at it made him want to cringe; he had so many plans, and it barely encompassed one-fifth of them. His only consolation was that, from the spot he picked out, he couldn’t exactly see very well if any other Hermits had made impressive progress yet.
Look, Joel wanted them to build beautiful things and amazing contraptions, of course he did, he just didn’t want them to do it… so quickly. He was all caught up in this game of Demise, and until his mission was completed, he couldn’t devote too much energy or effort to other things. He would hate to fall behind so early in the season. It was a perpetual, nagging fear, hanging over his head like a bad fog. Joel was invited to be a Hermit for a reason, he wouldn’t deny that, but he had no idea how much of that reason correlated to him and how much it correlated to his building skill.
If he couldn’t keep up with the others, then who was to say that he’d get to come back next season⎯
Or, indeed, finish this one out at all?
Joel swallowed, shaking his head abruptly as if to dislodge his thoughts.
“Gotta find xB, right, Joel?” He muttered to himself, walking over to his starter base. He grabbed a few supplies quickly, making sure he had all of his armour and weapons in order before realising that maybe that wasn’t the vibe he wanted to project. Joel rolled his eyes, leaving the armour off. He kept the weapons in his inventory, but out of the way, so there could really be no mistaking his offer for a threat.
Joel hummed idly as he turned around and went to untie his horse from a post nearby. He couldn’t wait until they were further into the season, so they’d all finally have elytra. He appreciated the idea of the horses and making paths to connect bases as much as the next Hermit, but goodness was Joel used to the ease and convenience of flight. He clicked his tongue as he climbed onto the horse’s back, careful not to spook the beast. For all he might’ve enjoyed the idea of them, horses themselves were an entirely different thing.
It wasn’t like Joel was afraid of them.
…Not anymore, at least.
Exposure therapy would do that to a man.
On horseback, the trip to xB’s base was cleared within a matter of minutes. Something in Joel’s chest loosened at the familiar sight of those cobblestone walls and white beams, though he couldn’t have placed the feeling for the life of him. xB was outside, thankfully, meaning that Joel didn’t have to go skulking around like a creep for the man. He looked to be working on some sort of bamboo farm half-buried into the mountain with a clear glass wall.
“Oi, xB!” Joel called as he rode across the plains, drawing xB’s attention. Without hesitation, xB’s expression melted into an easy smile, the man himself straightening slightly and lifting a hand in greeting.
“Hey, man! What’s up?” xB addressed, friendly as anything, once Joel was within earshot, carefully slowing his horse to a stop. He dismounted off of the animal and led it quickly into a nearby horse hole, just so he wouldn’t have to worry about it wandering off while he made his offer. “Here to kill me again?” xB’s grin tilted at one corner, making it appear lopsided.
Joel found it…sort of cute, honestly.
“No,” he said vehemently, finding his voice. “Jeez, you try to kill a guy five times and it doesn’t work out and suddenly everybody thinks you’re out for his blood, mate, I don’t know what that’s about!”
“Me neither,” xB agreed casually, though there was a wry glimmer in his stormy blue eyes. He’d never actually met someone who had ‘stormy blue eyes’ the way xB did. Sure, Joel had read romance novels before, he didn’t live under a rock, but somehow he’d gotten it into his head that ‘stormy blue’ wasn’t a real eye colour at all. Just something romantics made up to satisfy their daydreams. Unmistakably, though, xB hit every checkmark of those alleged stormy blue eyes and then some.
However, Joel never felt like he was standing on a cliffside, the edge of a precipice, the way the heroines of his trashy novels had claimed, when he looked into xB’s eyes. They reminded him of turbulent storms, high above the waves, churning the seawater into froth, that much was true. Still, he was never anything less than perfectly safe, looking at xB. Maybe that had something to do with the man himself, the way xB hardly seemed to get upset ever, and that was simply…appealing to Joel for reasons he didn’t like explaining.
Lizzie had likened him to a kicked dog, at some point.
Joel didn’t remember what their conversation had been about, or how they’d even gotten around to that topic, but he remembered that sentence specifically. Clear as day, even though it’d happened so long ago now. She wasn’t wrong, after all, and it hit close, especially with his hybridity thrown in the mix. On Hermitcraft, he could opt to display as many or as little overtly hybrid traits as he liked, but that didn’t stop his code from remaining what it was; a wolf’s, through and through. One who’d been hurt too many times in the past.
xB’s eyes were the most dangerous thing about him, and Joel couldn’t help but feel comforted by that fact.
“Joel?” The man in question prompted carefully, looking at Joel with such gentleness that it was nearly unbearable. xB looked so kind, graced with sunlight, and it made Joel’s knees feel weak. He dragged a scoff from his throat, raking through his memories to figure out what xB had said last before he’d acted so stupid by just standing there and staring, and adopted a self-assured look.
Joel nodded, trying to make the motion seem nonchalant, and ignored how warm with embarrassment his cheeks felt. It was the sun, that was all. Spending so much time between cramped skyscrapers was making him forget what it felt like, or something. Not to mention how long he’d been down in that custom cave⎯ Blimey, he really hadn’t had enough sun exposure over the last few days.
Finding his voice, Joel finally managed to muster a verbal response.
“No, no, that’s not why I’m here, pssh, xB, I wouldn’t try to kill you again⎯”
“Most people say that after the first failed attempt, you know, Beans,” xB said, sounding amused. All concern vanished with just a sentence, trusting that everything was alright once more. xB was reliable like that; never prodding too much beyond what Joel could handle. He narrowed his eyes at him, but xB remained as unaffected as ever, only coolly raising an eyebrow. “Forgive me for thinkin’ that you had another attempt in you.”
“Well, that’s on you, xB, ‘cause you know what they say about assumptions,” Joel replied importantly. xB’s nose wrinkled, but his grin hadn’t dropped or faded even once. It was wild, Joel thought, that someone could be so⎯ so easygoing. He wouldn’t know what that was like, as high-strung as he tended to be.
“Oh yeah?” xB replied curiously. “What do they say about assumptions, huh, Joel?”
“Well, you know,” Joel spluttered, not about to indirectly call xB an asshole to his face. “Well, just, well, that you shouldn’t make them, that’s all. Of course, xB, what else did you think I was implying!? Assumptions aren’t very nice, now are they? I’m looking out for you, really, you know, what if the other Hermits heard about you going around and making assumptions? Reputation ruined, just like that!” He snapped his fingers together for emphasis.
xB didn’t seem particularly worried about his reputation, though his smile seemed to widen just a little with the snap. Joel’s heart was double-timing in his chest, his hands threatening to shake with bundled-up adrenaline. He couldn’t pinpoint why he was so jittery⎯ Maybe it was something about all of xB’s calm attitude that made the universe decide it needed to be balanced out, hence this extra anxiety for Joel that had come out of nowhere.
Ridiculous, really.
Joel always knew the universe had it out for him.
“Just like that,” xB echoed in a musing tone. “Guess you’re right! Wouldn’t want my reputation to go, man, what would the Hermits be sayin’ about me then?” He tilted his head with a wry grin, earfins twitching justs lightly on either side of his head. Joel admired xB for wearing his hybrid traits so freely⎯ A lot of Hermits tended to do it, true, but it was more rare that the hostile mob hybrids displayed theirs.
Tango, Doc, and Impulse, of course, but Joel couldn’t name another off the top of his head. Jevin, someone he wasn’t all that familiar with, who simply was slime, and similarly, Cleo, who always seemed to have an extra body part lying around. Aside from them, however, the rest of the hostile mob hybrids on the server rarely showed off their traits, unless it was for a bit or a prank.
While wolves weren’t technically hostile mobs, they had the coding for it, and Joel had always been taught that it was better to disguise his hybridity than to display it proudly. He had a soft spot of admiration for xB’s willingness to live his life how he pleased, perfectly content as the guardian hybrid he was.
It did something funny to Joel’s heart if he thought about it for too long.
“Exactly,” He said confidently. “Anyways, xB, I’ve come to you with a, a proposition, alright, mate? As I’ve been thinking that we should spend time together, you know, and I haven’t been very nice to you as well, so I figured I could make it up to you with a picnic.”
“So you want to make it up to me? The attempts on my life?” xB seemed as bitter as ever, which was to say, not at all. Joel envied him for his ‘devil may care’ attitude, honestly. He mustered a nod, refusing to let his gaze drop from xB’s no matter how embarrassed he felt. It was just enough of a threat to keep the hair on the back of his neck raised, and if his ears or tail were out, he knew the fur would be bristling.
But Joel was too much of a coward for that, so it was only him standing there, painfully human.
“Okay,” xB agreed easily, shrugging. “I don’t have anything better to do.”
“Wh⎯” Joel threw a helpless look at the unfinished farm behind xB in confusion. The glass wall was barely half-filled in, leaving the bamboo fronds to sway in the light breeze. He wanted to kill xB, he didn’t want to be a bloody nuisance to the man. “Are you sure? I mean, it doesn’t have to be right now, I’ve already got the space set up, it’ll be lovely no matter what time of day we come.”
“Yeah, well, I was honestly getting a bit stumped or something with this, anyway. It’s not turning out the way I want it to, so I figure why not, you know, let’s take Joel up on his offer of a picnic!” xB grinned guilessly. “Besides, I figure everyone else is getting, like, all these neck kisses in the mail and stuff, so I’m definitely not gonna say no to a date of my own with the Joel Smallishbeans. So yeah.”
Joel spluttered something incoherent, turning bright red.
“What?”
“Hm? What?” xB was perfectly casual, that was the thing. He didn’t look like he was just teasing Joel, or like he was even poking well-meaning fun at his offer of a picnic. He looked like he genuinely meant it, as if he wouldn’t… mind going on a date with Joel.
Not that this was a date, because it wasn’t. Still, it was nice to know that xB would say yes if Joel put so much effort into a real date… Provided he wasn’t entirely pissed off later down the line after Joel’s plan to kill him had been executed. xB’s admission of liking Joel wouldn’t save him, as Lizzie could well attest⎯ Playful violence was occasionally how he showed his love, after all. She’d likened it to the way puppies roughhoused in their youth before, and although Joel was still disgruntled by the comparison because he wasn’t a pup, thank you very much, he could admit that Lizzie had a point.
His wife knew him too well.
“Nothing, nope, everything’s just lovely-jubbly here,” Joel said abruptly when he realised that xB was still waiting on a response. Void, couldn’t he get himself under control for two seconds here? Something about xB made it so easy to get lost in thought, it was bloody ridiculous. Like Joel was some fantasising, daydreaming teenage girl in front of her crush for the first time. “Alright, c’mon, xB, I’ll show you the place. Have you got your own horse?”
“Yeah, but it makes more sense for the environment to share, doesn’t it? No sense in running two horses ragged…” xB trailed off, a suspiciously hopeful glint in his eyes, but Joel was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice. It probably would be better to keep xB’s horse here, that way he had an easy method of transportation when he inevitably respawned safely back in his bed. Mind made up, Joel nodded firmly, and met xB’s gaze once more.
“You’re right, xB, gotta be lookin’ out for the⎯ the environment,” He said with a brief second of confusion, unsure of what the environment really had to do with using two horses. xB grinned, though, and it was enough for Joel to put it out of his mind. He turned on his heel and walked back over to the horse hole, crouching down to the horse’s level. Joel gently grabbed the reins and coaxed the massive beast out of the hole onto level ground once more. He could feel xB’s gaze on him the entire time, but did his best not to be bothered⎯ After all, if xB could play at being so calm all the time, then so could Joel! “Finally, okay, xB, let’s go… Got the saddle, should be big enough for the two of us.”
Joel stiffened momentarily, smoothing a hand over his horse’s flank.
He hadn’t exactly considered that sharing a horse meant being so close, even if only for a few minutes. xB would be right there, pressed up against his back. He’d have to wrap his arms around Joel’s waist, maybe even lean close for balance if they crossed rough terrain. His heart fluttered traitorously at the mere thought. Joel swallowed, turning back around to face xB with slightly jerky motions.
“So, uh, how, how d’ya wanna do this, huh, xB?”
“You should probably lead, since you know where we’re going!” xB said, painfully cheerful. It was so fucking obvious that Joel felt like kicking himself. Of course he’d have to be the one to steer the horse, xB didn’t know where the blummin’ grotto was. Heck, Joel didn’t know if xB even knew where his base was. It was a bit hard to miss, maybe, because it was so high on the mountain, but for all Joel knew, xB hadn’t ventured to that side of the server yet.
“Right, yeah, shall we be on our way then?”
“Mhmm, let me just put my extra glass and whatnot into a chestacle.” xB started off in the direction of his house, not giving Joel any time to process the strange word. He chose not to question it, having long since grown used to the Hermits’ odd lexicon. For Void’s sake, exposure to Mumbo alone tended to do that to a player. “I’ll be, I’ll be a few minutes, Beans!” xB called over his shoulder, trusting that Joel would wait.
The stupid nickname made a faint ember of warmth glow inside of Joel’s ribcage, his stomach squirming with butterflies. It wasn’t even that creative, just taking inspiration from his username, but Joel couldn’t help but like it anyway. He didn’t usually get very many nicknames and, selfishly, he hoped that no one else picked up ‘Beans’. It was nice to have something that was only xB’s for him.
A few short minutes later, Joel waiting astride his horse, xB came puttering back out of his house. He nudged the beast closer, shortening the gap between him and the other man. xB looked up, giving Joel an impossibly bright smile. He’d added something to his outfit while inside the house, or more accurately, added an accessory. It was some sort of strange flower that Joel had never seen before, reminding him of the strands of coral that Lizzie used to decorate her hair with. A dull cerulean with a burnt orange centre, reminiscent of guardians, too. Maybe that was why xB liked it.
The flower certainly brought out the highlights of his eyes.
“Joel?” xB interrupted his thoughts with a huff of laughter. “Could I get a hand, man?”
“Pssh, oh yeah, sorry, forgive me, xB, just thought you’d know how to climb on a horse after all these years. My bad, you know how it goes,” Joel babbled, all while carefully offering a forearm for xB to grasp and haul himself onto the horse. He threw his leg casually over the saddle and horse’s back, sliding snugly into place against Joel like there was nowhere else he’d rather be. Joel’s breath caught noisily in his throat, and he prayed that xB paid it no mind.
“Well,” xB murmured with another chuckle, this time dangerously close to Joel’s ear. “You do know what they say about assumptions.”
“Oi!” Joel exclaimed, snapped out of his daze by sheer offence. “Now, you can’t go around using my own blummin’ lines against me, xB, that’s just not fair!”
“Oh, right, I forgot you had a patent on the idea that assumptions are bad,” xB teased, voice low and gravelly. Joel felt too warm all over, but especially every point of contact between him and xB. The guardian hybrid must’ve ran hot, because their combined body temperatures were quickly growing sweat-inducing, especially with the summer sun bearing down upon them.
“Are you hot, xB?” Joel blurted out before he could remember to filter himself, face rapidly warming for the third or maybe millionth time since he’d come over to see xB. He made an aborted noise of protest, quickly turning his horse in the direction of Magic Mountain. “I mean! I just mean, like, you know, temperature-wise! That’s it! That’s all I meant, xB, you gotta believe me, mate!”
Joel tried to ignore how much it sounded like he was yelping.
“Pfft, Beans, calm down,” xB murmured, not having to raise his voice very much in order to be heard due to their closeness. His chest rose and fell in an even pattern, lulling Joel into more of a relaxed state automatically. “I figured you meant something like that. And, anyway, yeah, kind of. My core temperature runs hotter than most players’ because guardian hybrids used to live strictly in the deep seas, and it took more than just body fat to keep us warm, though we have a natural propensity to being bigger, too. My body itself tends to reflect temperatures, kind of like a reptilian? So if you run hotter, then so will I, even if my core temperature doesn’t necessarily change.”
“Oh, wow,” Joel replied, meaning it. He liked learning about other kinds of hybridity, but beyond that, he just liked learning about xB. “And, y’know, since I’m a wolf, that just means everything is, like, doubled. I bet you’re good to cuddle with in the winter.”
“My partner says I am,” xB said, sounding amused. “But he also says I’m hot in every way, so take it with a grain of salt.”
“Yeah?” Joel prompted, trying not to sound bitterly disappointed. He should’ve known that xB was just joking around when he said all that stuff about the picnic being a date. Joel did the same thing all the time with his boys, for crying out loud! He couldn’t hold xB to that kind of standard, not when he didn’t know if the man even considered them really friends, let alone anything that had the potential for more.
“Uh-huh. Don’t listen to Keralis, though, he basically makes me out to be a giant teddy bear.” xB paused. “So, well, I mean, he isn’t wrong, but still. The point stands, right? I can be scary!”
Joel couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “You sure can be, xB.”
“Thank you, Beans,” xB said confidently, clearly ignoring the humoured disbelief present in Joel’s tone. Carefully, like he was afraid that Joel would spook and send them flying through the air, he wound his arms around Joel’s waist. It took him a few minutes to remember how to breathe, but once he did, Joel took shaky inhales, making sure not to let on how much that simple touch panicked him. Maybe he hadn’t been seeking out Etho enough this season, and maybe he was getting a little more touch-starved than he planned on letting on to Lizzie.
As a result, xB’s comforting touch was like a gift sent from the heavens and the Nether itself. Even through the layers of Joel’s vest and shirt, it burned, but it was a good kind of pain. The kind of pain that came with satiating a long-time hunger, and, huh. Joel figured that maybe that was why they called it touch starvation, and not something else. xB holding him did feel shockingly like having a nice, home-cooked meal after long weeks of unfulfilling golden carrots. Joel was well familiar with that feeling by now, after spending so long on Hermitcraft and away from Lizzie. Any occasion to cook, he met with gusto, especially when he went and crashed on their home server for a while. Otherwise, it was just golden carrots, golden carrots, oh, an apple, and more golden carrots.
“So, your base has been looking awesome lately. Impulse mentioned you have plans to take it even bigger and brighter? I like the colours, and the architecture, I dunno, I think it’s all really cool.” xB’s next breath blew gently across Joel’s exposed neck, barely moving the shorn-short strands of his hair. Reflexively, a shiver danced down Joel’s spine, and he could only hope that xB hadn’t noticed. “I mean it, you know, Beans, you’ve been doing great at, like, blending the colours and the themes. It’s Japanese architecture and futuristic stuff, right?”
“Cyberpunk,” Joel managed to find his voice to correct, thanking every god he knew that it didn’t come out embarrassingly soft. “And thanks, but, pssh, this isn’t even half of it. Like, I have so many plans, I’m gonna make the streets all super narrowed and the towers tall enough that you really feel like you’re on one of the more populated Hubs, traversing around the world. It’s looking pretty good, pretty good for what it’s supposed to be right now, I guess.”
“Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is! I like it a lot,” xB replied warmly. Best of all, Joel couldn’t sense a single note of falsity in his voice. He truly meant it. Joel figured that perhaps that was one of the best things about xB, how honest he was. Maybe it came with being that laidback, or something, but xB might’ve been one of the more honest people Joel knew. And it wasn’t like he was surrounded by liars, so it was a decently high bar to clear.
Lizzie and Etho were painfully honest, too, if in a less direct way.
…Joel was beginning to see a pattern.
“Thanks,” He said, clearing his throat. “And what about you? I like your base, too, you know, I think that bamboo farm was looking lovely. And how you’re building into the mountain is great, it’s gonna be one of the safest bases on Hermitcraft, I bet.”
Joel hardly knew what he was saying at this point, but it was enough to fill the silence, and that was what mattered. Besides, it wasn’t like he was lying. He wouldn’t do that to xB, not after the guardian hybrid had been kind enough to be honest with Joel himself. xB’s base genuinely was interesting, if a little more plain from the outside than Joel liked to go. He had a thing for bright colours, though, and respected that not everybody enjoyed that. Besides, xB’s base suited him. It was calming, maybe a bit easy to overlook, especially from a distance, but filled with so much detail and care once you got a lot closer.
He wondered what that said about him, then, when his base was so flashy and… loud.
Joel winced to himself.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty nice. The building process has been going smoothly, at least, except for all the random holes that keep appearing in my front lawn.” xB’s voice lilted teasingly. Joel snorted, leaning back against his chest slightly even as he turned the horse around Impulse’s big cube of a base.
“Well, you can’t be blamin’ me for that, now can you, xB? It’s your fault for being so blummin’ hard to kill.”
“So true, Joel, so true.” xB didn’t sound hurt, only humoured, which was another mark for him in Joel’s book. He liked someone he could make fun of, with love; anybody too sensitive just wasn’t a good fit. Even Jim pushed that line a little sometimes, and they’d been friends for so long that Joel sometimes forgot where he started and Jimmy ended. The good thing about Jimmy was that, while his feelings could be easily hurt, they were also easily mended.
Plus, over a decade of friendship with Joel had given him a tougher skin.
“Oh, wow! Your city looks so sick, coming around the wall like that!” xB exclaimed, his grip tightening just slightly as he straightened in the saddle to get a better look. Joel realised abruptly just how much he was leaning into the other man, but decided to let it happen; nobody was around to provide as a witness, anyway. He was free to get as close as he could bear with xB.
“You’ll give me a big head, talking like that,” Joel said, leading the horse up the stairs into his cyberpunk city. Honestly, ‘city’ was a bit of a generous term, given the small collection of buildings that made it up for now. He had so many expansion plans, it was laughable to think that these measly few could ever be considered his city. Gently, Joel guided his horse to a stop near his original starting structure. That was where he normally tied the beast up, since he didn’t want to ruin his pathways with a random gaping hole.
“And we have arrived!” xB said, touch lingering even as he dismounted the horse smoothly and efficiently. Joel swore he could feel his handprints burned into the lower rungs of his ribcage, and he sort of hoped that the feeling would take a while to fade. He joined xB on the ground seconds later, quickly tying his horse to a nearby post and ensuring that the animal wouldn’t go wandering off. “Where to now, Big Beans?”
xB’s grin was toothy.
Joel fruitlessly willed himself not to blush.
“Uh, it’s just over here, I made a small area thing for it, you know, but kept it out of the way, since a lot more buildings are gonna be going up soon,” Joel explained somewhat awkwardly, sweeping an arm out to gesture in the vague direction of where the grotto was. The expression on xB’s face seemed to…soften, somehow, even though that felt ridiculous to think.
“Wanna show me the way, man?” Nonchalantly, xB extended a hand, waiting for Joel to take it. He stared for a beat, baffled. Was xB really so helpless that he couldn’t manage to follow Joel for a bloody three-minute walk? The mountain was steep, though, and xB wasn’t used to being up this high. Plus, what if he tripped and fell into a cave or something of the sort? No, no, xB was right, it was better this way. Safer, smarter, and it ensured that Joel would get the kill he so desperately wanted.
“Yeah, sure, xB, c’mon,” Joel said with a roll of his eyes, taking a step forward and slipping his hand into xB’s. Immediately, he felt warm. It seemed that xB’s skin hadn’t yet lost the temperature it stole from Joel’s body, and although xB’s palm wasn’t sweaty, it did feel similar to holding his own hand over a fireplace. It was a feeling Joel decided that he didn’t mind, not if it meant getting to hold xB’s hand.
Even if that was just for logical purposes.
“You didn’t have to put this much effort in for me, you know, Beans,” xB remarked easily as they picked their way deeper across the mountain itself, stepping off of the path and into the wilderness. A cushion of pretty pink cherry petals muffled their steps, and with the trees surrounding them, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Safe, hidden away from everybody else.
Joel flushed.
It was intimate, sort of.
“What do you mean?” He asked in bafflement, xB’s words finally catching up with him. The other man slid him an amused glance, the corner of his lips quirking like he wasn’t sure if he should smile or not.
“You know, like, all the effort and stuff. The whole ‘building a different place just to, to take me out on a date’, you didn’t have to do that.” xB shrugged. “I would’ve said yes even if you’d just invited me to go mining or something. You’re pretty awesome, Joel, and even though most of our interactions have been you, y’know, trying to kill me, I like spending time with you.”
“xB, come on,” Joel said vehemently, giving xB’s hand an automatic squeeze. “Of course I went to the effort! I wasn’t gonna show up with some, some second-rate picnic date, oh my Void. What kind of man do you take me for?!”
xB laughed lightly. “Well, thanks, then.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Joel muttered scathingly. “Wouldn’t’a went to the effort if I didn’t want to, ‘s not something you need to thank me for. You deserve the best, xB, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, got it? Not even yourself, you daft man.”
“Yeah, yeah, alright.” xB seemed faintly surprised by Joel’s insistence, but touched nonetheless. Joel gave a confident nod to back up his statements, coming to a stop on autopilot near where the grotto entrance was. Belatedly, he remembered all the traps that he’d set up, the different ways to get xB’s health knocked down a few hearts so he could shove him into a pit of spikes and kill him.
Oh no.
He couldn’t try and kill xB now! The man had practically bared his heart to Joel, and he seemed so excited for this date, because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? Joel didn’t go through all of this effort for just anyone. This was a date, one that he’d foolishly made lethal to cover up his own feelings, and now xB was going to come inside and be so disappointed. Maybe he’d even assume that Joel hadn’t meant any of it, that he didn’t actually harbour feelings for xB!
This was a disaster.
“Give me, give me just a minute, would ya, xB?” Joel asked, voice considerably higher-pitched. xB blinked slowly at him before carefully squeezing his hand and then letting go.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Right, I’ll be just a second, don’t worry, everything’s just fine, I have to make sure the…food is in there already, I might’ve left it back in my base, you know how these things go, xB.” His stammering didn’t seem to faze xB, only earning a calm nod. That was all the confirmation Joel needed before he was darting inside the cave, quickly and efficiently dispatching the skeletons with his axe. He didn’t have any stone in his inventory, so he would just have to pray the dim lighting meant that xB didn’t notice the random holes in the walls.
There was nothing he could do about the bushes now, given that they’d grown impressively quickly with bonemeal, but as long as he and xB didn’t venture further into the small cave, everything would be fine. Luckily, the few poisonous foods he’d made could quickly be stored in his inventory, leaving enough food behind still to qualify as a meal. He couldn’t poison everything, after all, since he had to eat, too, and he hadn’t wanted to raise xB’s suspicions so quickly. Joel surveyed the space with his hands on his hips, declaring it safe enough.
“Alright, come on in, xB, I’ve got everything set up now,” He said as he came back out of the grotto, waving xB in with a gesture. The guardian hybrid came closer without hesitation, and Joel’s heart skipped a beat as he noticed, not for the first time, their height difference. xB wasn’t necessarily above average in terms of height; he couldn’t clear Etho, but that was rare in general. However, he was definitely taller than Joel, and okay, maybe he liked that more than he cared to admit, especially to his partners⎯
It wasn’t like Lizzie and Etho weren’t well-aware, anyway.
“Joel? So, you gonna move, or?” xB said with a playful lilt to his voice, and Joel stammered something incoherent, quickly moving to the side so xB could squeeze past him. He quickly turned back around, nudging his way next to xB. The entrance to the grotto was narrow enough that their shoulders brushed, every brief contact sending sparks flying across Joel’s skin. Goodness, he really hadn’t been getting enough physical touch this season, and to think that Hermitcraft had only just recently begun. They’d been on the world for, what, a few weeks? Ridiculous.
He and xB made their way through the short tunnel, coming to a stop at the mouth of the cave.
“Ta-da!” Joel flung an arm out in front of them, presenting the area with a flourish. It looked nice, he could admit that much, especially with the glowberries hanging from the ceiling in dazzling twists. They reflected off of the water and onto the cave walls in interesting patterns, drawing the eye. The sweetberry bushes added a breath of nature into the space, despite being underground, and the few cherry petals littering the ground and swaying above their heads made the entire space feel magical. He might’ve outdone himself for this date, honestly.
“Oh, wow,” xB breathed, stepping out of the narrow tunnel and towards the middle of the cave. A large green and brown knit blanket covered the ground, a picturesque picnic basket nearby and laden with food. xB spun in a slow circle as he took it all in, faintly golden light spilling across the bridge of his nose and highlighting those pretty, stormy eyes of his. “This is amazing, Beans, I can’t believe you did this all for me! And so quickly, too!”
“Pssh,” Joel waved a hand dismissively. “Next time I’ll take you to the beach, bet we could find a lovely one somewhere nearby, not Grian or Gem’s⎯ I mean I love ‘em, but they’re menaces, and I’m pretty sure Gem is going to infest her waters with sea monsters? Not really date material, you know, xB?”
“Next time?” xB echoed, meeting Joel’s gaze curiously. He blushed darkly, suddenly thankful for the poor lighting. Maybe xB couldn’t tell just how much of an effect he had on Joel; it was a hopeless thought, really, but one Joel strived for nonetheless.
“Yeah, next time,” said Joel gruffly, trying to find some of his usual conviction. He was a god on one of his past servers, where had all that ego and confidence gone?! What was it about xB that turned him into a giggling, blushing idiot with a crush? “I mean, I did tell you I don’t do second-rate dates, xB. If you don’t want a second, that’d mean that the first date had been pretty shoddy, and we’ve established this won’t be.”
xB laughed lightly. “Sure, Beans, sure.”
“Anyway,” Joel declared abruptly, striding over to the picnic blanket. “We’ve got food! C’mon, sit down, I, ah, I didn’t actually get any entertainment, but we can just enjoy each other’s company. You can tell me about, uh, your base, if you want? Or whatever you’re up to this season?”
“Yeah! Yeah, yeah, I’d love to, okay,” xB agreed cheerfully, taking a seat on the picnic blanket with grace. Joel neary tripped and fell as he went to sit next to the other man, too caught up in his thoughts about how much space he should put between the two of them. Luckily, he managed to steady himself at the last second, although he ended up… much closer to xB than intended. His leg was all but lying on top of xB’s, and Joel swallowed, carefully moving into a criss-cross position on the blanket.
He missed the brief flash of disappointment that came over xB’s face, too busy pulling the picnic basket closer to them.
“The food is not the best, xB, I hope you know,” Joel said as he pulled out a few pre-made sandwiches, handing them off to xB as each one came out. “I’ll put more effort into it next time, I just didn’t want to do something too fancy for a picnic, you know how it is, as well as not having that much time to prepare.”
“That’s okay,” xB replied with a smile. Void, he was just so damn affable it was going to kill Joel. “You can bring the food for our beach date.”
“Yeah?” Joel asked, pleased at the subtle confirmation. xB nodded. “Alright, lovely! I’ll knock your socks off, xB, just you wait. Oh, the sandwiches are different kinds, since I didn’t know exactly what you liked or what you’d be into. There’s roast beef, the classic PB&J, then just a boring peanut butter sandwich, and then something Lizzie likes to eat that I personally find disgusting, which is peanut butter and bananas. Oh, and a ham sandwich, cheese is optional, since I brought some along. Got condiments, too, actually⎯”
His spiel was interrupted by xB’s chuckles.
“You were really prepared, huh, Beans?” xB tilted his head, something altogether too fond warping his expression. Joel shrugged as if it was nothing, although he spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about which way xB liked to take his sandwiches. He’d even considered stalking the man, just in case xB ate a sandwich sometime soon and he could witness it, but thankfully discarded that idea in favour of simply making a billion different options. “You’re pretty frickin’ great, huh?”
“No, nah, I mean…Well.” Joel grinned. “If you insist, xB, maybe.”
“Yeah, I do. So.” xB matched him in terms of grinning, eyes crinkled at the corners slightly. “And I like ham sandwiches! I’ll take a slice of cheese, too⎯ I’ve never heard of, um, what’d you say? The peanut butter and banana sandwich, yeah, yeah, that, I’ve never heard of that. Lizzie likes it?”
As always, Joel lit up at the mention of his wife.
“She does, yeah! Little weirdo, but hey, when you marry someone, you promise to love them through all strange food quirks.” Joel gave a small, fond chuckle. He reached into the picnic basket again, bringing out a few drinks and xB’s slice of cheese. The beverages of choice were simple mixed fruit juice that he’d pulled together, already in lidded cups, just in case of spills. Etho made the blanket he was currently using for this picnic, and Joel didn’t fancy getting it anymore dirty than necessary. “What about you? Surely, uh, Keralis? That’s your partner, right? Surely he’s got some weird food quirks.”
xB shrugged. “I mean, Keralis doesn’t need to eat, so I wouldn’t know.”
“What?” Joel replied, baffled. xB squinted at him, eyebrows drawn together in confusion, before a look of realisation dawned upon his features. He snapped his fingers together.
“That’s right! Sorry, Beans, I forget that you haven’t been a Hermit until this year,” apologised xB sheepishly. “Keralis is, like, some sort of eldritch god or something. So he doesn’t really need to eat, you see? And so, like, I don’t know his weird food quirks, though maybe honey qualifies? I think that’s just because Xisuma likes it in his tea, though, and that’s why Keralis has such large stocks of it.”
“That’s mad,” Joel remarked, taking a bite of his own sandwich that he’d grabbed from the pile near xB. PB&J, not bananas because he wasn’t a freak, thank you very much.
“Yeah, it is, a little,” xB agreed with a laugh, clearly not taking it to heart. “So is Lizzie your only official partner? I know you and Etho have, like, a thing going on, but I didn’t know if that had been confirmed after Grian’s games.”
“Void, does the whole server know about that?” Joel rolled his eyes, cheeks warming with faint, if good-natured, embarrassment.
Double Life was something that spread very quickly amongst Empires due to how chaotic it was, Joel remembered that much. He was lucky to keep most of his bits under wraps, aside from obviously talking things over with Lizzie before he reached out to Etho again, but there was a lot of gossip flying around. He knew for a fact that Jimmy and his boys had been tangled up something fierce after that game, trying to figure out where they all stood with each other. Privately, he considered them idiots; months of dancing around the issue when the solution was right there in front of them the entire time!
“I mean, maybe not the whole server,” xB said lightly, perhaps trying to spare his feelings. Joel gave an exaggerated groan, earning another laugh. Gently, like he was worried Joel would spook, xB laid a hand upon his shoulder in empathetic commiseration. He tried not to lean overtly into the touch, unable to help it when xB was so warm. Comparatively, the cave was almost too cool. “If it makes you feel better, the Hermits’ side of it was mostly everybody wondering what had managed to make Etho mope so much. I can see why he was, though, if he’d almost missed out on his chance with you.”
“Aww, xB, stop it, you’re too sweet,” Joel replied automatically, making xB grin widely. “And you know, that does make me feel better, actually. Knew the blummin’ idiot was obsessed with me, pssh. Clearly, he hadn’t remembered that commcuffs worked both ways. Anyway, yes, I’m dating Etho, and I’m married to Lizzie as well. I don’t have any other committed partners for now.”
“Cool, cool.” xB took a big bite of his sandwich. “I haven’t dated anyone in, uh, a while, I mean, aside from Keralis, and that’s about as far from regular dating as you can get. I never know what’s going on with that guy.” He shook his head, but the look on his face was fond, not annoyed. Joel’s heart squeezed in his chest.
“Dunno why, I mean, look at you,” Joel gestured at xB. “The rest of the Hermits must be blind if they aren’t falling at your feet.”
“Ha!” The bark of laughter was sharper, clearly more surprised than the others xB had been giving throughout the day. Joel looked at the guardian hybrid in amusement; it was the first time he’d seen xB look embarrassed, instead of it being the other way around. xB’s blush was a pretty, striking blue-purple, reminding Joel yet again of the ocean. “Sorry, I just⎯ You’re funny. Falling at my feet…”
“I mean, if the shoe fits, xB⎯”
The pleasant ‘ding!’ of a commcuff interrupted him.
Instinctively, Joel reached for his own, but he hadn’t felt it vibrate the way it normally did when delivering a notification, and he had the world chat on mute. Simply because he couldn’t be bothered with knowing every time another Hermit came online or not, even if he hadn’t seen them for a while, not to mention the perpetual backlog of messages. He turned his attention to xB then instead, watching as the guardian hybrid pulled his commcuff from his hoodie pocket and looked down at the small screen in furrowed-brow concentration.
“Something wrong?” Joel prodded carefully. xB looked up, eyes widening briefly as if he wasn’t expecting Joel to care or pay that much attention⎯ Preposterous. Seriously, Joel was going to have to do some heavy-lifting in order to get xB’s ego back to its proper size. The man was far too humble for his own good. He really ought to take a page out of Joel’s book sometime.
“No?”
“You sound too questioning for that to be reassuring, xB,” Joel pointed out wryly, making xB smile slightly before his expression quickly lapsed back into the hesitant concern it’d been before.
“No, I mean, I don’t think so, but Hypno’s just messaged me an SOS message, and while normally he pulls that kind of thing when he just wants me to help him grind for a couple hours, now he’s not responding to my follow up messages…” xB fiddled with his commcuff, clearly worried, and Joel’s heart twisted in his ribcage. Even if it turned out to be nothing, he couldn’t justify keeping xB here when he so clearly wanted to make sure that it was nothing.
Joel could relate. His friends complained about his mother-henning, especially since his brand of it was a bit more tough love than your stereotypical mom friend, but he couldn’t help it. He cared too much for that, and they were his pack. Something beyond regular friendship, beyond family. It wasn’t the kind of emotion that Joel could easily explain with words, but he suspected that xB had similar emotions, if maybe about a ‘school’ instead of a pack, since he was a guardian hybrid.
“Come on, then, up we go,” Joel exclaimed, standing with ease and offering a hand to xB, still on the ground. The other man looked up at him, face now creased with a frown instead of the smiles that Joel had become rather accustomed to. “Oh, don’t give me that look, xB, we can pick up the date another time, come on.”
“Are you sure?” xB sounded doubtful, but his grip was strong and sure as he slid his hand back into Joel’s own. He didn’t let go, not even once he was on his own two feet, but Joel sure as hell wasn’t going to complain about that. Joel gave xB’s hand a squeeze, silently noticing the slight difference in temperature.
“Wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t, hm?” xB still seemed worried, though, so Joel rolled his eyes. “xB. If I didn’t want you to go, I wouldn’t have said anything. Don’t be stupid. You’ll go check on Hypno and we can message later, or I’ll just show up at your base one day and take you on another date. A better date.”
“Well, if you put it like that…” xB trailed off, allowing Joel to lead him back through the narrow tunnel that led to the grotto and out atop the peak of Magic Mountain. The sunlight was a dizzying contrast to the darkness of their little cave, making Joel blink black spots out of his vision. xB seemed to be doing the same, having eventually caught his bearings.
“You can take my horse, if you want,” Joel offered without hesitation.
“Yeah?”
“Yes, xB, oh my Void, stop doubting me.” Joel huffed, but squeezed xB’s hand again, just to let him know that he wasn’t truly annoyed. xB smiled at him softly, looking like something out of a catalogue, backed with sunlight as he was. Joel wasn’t a painter, but if he was, he thought he might like to capture this moment perfectly in time⎯ The lovely contrast of xB’s still-indigo cheeks, branches laden with pink petals in the near distance, perfectly outlined with golden rays.
“My bad,” xB murmured softly, taking a step closer. “I won’t do it again.”
“Best not,” Joel said firmly, before all thoughts tumbled to a screeching stop as xB lifted his free hand to cup the side of his face. Instantly, Joel’s cheeks erupted in a bright red blush, and he was sure that xB could feel the rapidly warming skin under his palm.
“May I?” xB asked, careful to keep eye contact.
“Yes,” Joel said, high-pitched and awfully similar to a squeak. xB leaned in, and he could feel the puff of laughter the man let out, whispering across the sensitive skin of his lips. Joel barely had time to worry about his heart rate drastically increasing before xB’s lips pressed softly against his. His eyes fell shut as he leaned into the touch, fire racing across every inch of his skin in the most pleasant of ways. xB kept the kiss chaste, gentle, holding Joel like he was something precious.
It was over all too soon.
xB pulled back, thumb gently caressing his cheek. “Okay, I gotta go.”
“Yeah,” Joel agreed, embarrassingly stunned. “Uh, you, you know where the horse is, feel free to grab some golden carrots in the nearby chest, too, since we didn’t get to finish our picnic.”
“Thanks, Joel.” xB flashed another broad grin, and then, like he couldn’t help himself, leaned in and gave Joel another devastatingly short kiss. After that, he was gone, hurriedly walking away back in the direction of the cyberpunk city.
Joel stared after him, dazed, watching until xB disappeared from view, having descended the stairs into the city itself. Even then, he couldn’t get himself to move, bringing shaky fingertips up to brush against his own lips. He’d been kissed before, plenty of times, but it still felt like something magical all over again with each new person he cared about. A buzz against his hip finally managed to snap him out of his stupor, making Joel grab his commcuff from his pocket and bring it up to his face. Of course, the notification had come from his and Grian’s private chats⎯ The man never could let him exist in bliss for very long, could he?
<Grian> got an idea for xB
<Grian> do you wanna blow him up for his birthday?
Lips still tingling from the kiss and spread into a wide smirk, Joel managed to type a reply with fumbling fingers.
<Smallishbeans> oh boy, do I
⎯end.