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A Boy In Love (What’s Left of this Heart?)

Summary:

———

It wasn’t her.

That’s what he kept telling himself as metal clashed, the oil-slicked floors of the cathedral making him slip as he reminded himself for the hundredth time that it wasn’t her.

That wasn’t Uzi’s grin, Uzi’s eyes in that visor - Uzi didn’t look like that. Uzi didn’t smile like that.

So then why couldn’t he just shoot already?

———

My personal spin on the fight at the end of episode 7 and the spaceship scene from episode 8, all from the perspective of a boy in love

(Aka I live for yearning and drama and couldn’t help myself)

Notes:

…so uh. Hi?

Hello, yes, it’s me, the former Genshin Hanahaki Guru. Getting this out of the way now - no I’m not dead, yes Genshin is basically dead to me, no I will likely not be writing any more Genshin fics so please PLEASEEEEE do not ask me in the comments. Ok? Ok.

Anyways, here’s my 3 am brainrot from my newest hyperfixation, go nuts y'all

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

     It wasn’t her.

 

     That’s what he kept telling himself as metal clashed, the oil-slicked floors of the cathedral making him slip as he reminded himself for the hundredth time that it wasn’t her.

 

     That wasn’t Uzi’s grin, Uzi’s eyes in that visor - Uzi didn’t look like that. Uzi didn’t smile like that.

 

     So then why couldn’t he just shoot already?

 

     It’d take only a few well-placed missiles to finish the job. One swing of his claws and her head wouldn’t stare at him with that wicked grin, those empty yellow eyes-

 

     But he couldn’t.

 

     The blade was at her neck, but he just couldn’t .

 

     Even now, as that wicked program taunted him, smiled at him as it pulled the blade closer, the oil on his sword only made him feel sick.

 

     It wasn’t her in there - but it was still her body, her face staring back at him, however contorted and warped by whatever the solver had made her. It hurt him to hurt her, even if it wasn’t really her in there - he could practically feel his own core collapse on itself at the mere thought of her head on the floor, her oil dripping from his claws-

 

     At least Nori was the sensible one between them, using her own powers to launch her away from him. Then again, the fact that she hadn’t finished the job yet either told him that perhaps she wasn’t too fond of the idea of offing her own daughter.

 

     He tried his best, he really did - lopping off her arms made him wince, but it was necessary if he didn’t want to get ripped to pieces. What he didn’t expect, though, was for Cyn to launch her body right in front of the pickaxe he threw, taunting him with a wink like she knew he couldn’t let it hit her-

 

     Damn this foolish heart of his.

 

     Of course he shoved her out of the way - what else was he meant to do? He’d already lost so much - J betrayed them, V had sacrificed herself, and Tessa- Gods, Tessa, he didn’t want to, but he had to, she was going to kill Uzi-

 

     He didn’t have it in him. He couldn’t bear losing another piece of his heart.

 

     He could only blame himself when he was ripped limb from limb, left in a pool of his own oil on the cold cathedral floor. Maybe it was just wishful thinking or his visor glitching, but he swore he saw purple for just a moment-

 

     But Cyn had her body in her grasp now, and she held Nori’s core in her hands as she giggled maniacally, bringing the worker drone’s own mother closer to her untimely end. N had to think of something, fast. If he said something, maybe he could get through to her, maybe she was still in there-

 

     And he’d never been more thankful to be right.

 

     Seeing the purple return to her visor almost made him forget that she’d launched her mother down a monstrous pit in the planet. Almost.

 

     He didn’t know what to explain first - Tessa, Nori, them “hanging out,” as he’d so eloquently put it - but he found that the words died in his throat when they met in the middle. He couldn’t care less about it, any of it - not when she was back, and safe, and for once she wasn’t protesting or shoving as he held her. It only made him cling to her tighter - he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to let her go.

 

     He’s quite sure they’d have stayed there for hours if it wasn’t for the sounds of scraping metal behind them.

 

     Instinctively, his wings curled around them both protectively as he looked past her for the source of the noise - and the sight made every wire in his body feel frayed.

 

     It couldn’t be Tessa. Tessa was dead, he’d made sure of that himself - so who was that-

 

     -what was that thing wearing her skin?

 

     It looked like something out of his worst nightmare. Whatever it was had taken Tessa - her body - and grafted it, molded it onto some sort of robot, some poor drone who’d ended up another unfortunate victim of Cyn and the solver-

 

     -until he heard it speak, and realized that wasn’t another victim.

 

     He was as frozen as the skeletons outside, and before he knew it, he felt sharp pain in his neck, his systems going offline after getting a brief glimpse of the worker drone he’d once called a sister wearing the skin of the one who’d given them - all of them - a second chance at life. He supposed it’d be ironic, but then again, it’s not like the solver ever cared.

 

     The next time he woke up, he was looking down, dangling by a hand above the very pit Nori herself had tumbled down. He was barely awake before he registered something like remorse in Uzi’s eyes, hearing her voice thanking him for everything before horror set in, realizing what she was about to do.

 

     She wouldn’t. She couldn’t-

 

     “Uzi, don’t you dare -“

 

     It was all he managed to get out before he was flung across the room by a flash of purple. Searing pain in his leg made him collapse, and he barely caught something flung at his chest before he caught a glimpse of her.

 

     The tendrils of whatever Cyn had morphed into were wrapped around every one of her limbs, and N felt sick. She couldn’t do this, he wouldn’t let her, he could still fly, there was still time-

 

     But of course, she said nothing - her visor only read “DIE MAD” before she flung him out the cathedral doors and into the bitter cold. He scrambled to his hands and knees as his leg regenerated, only to hear Cyn’s eldritch screeching as she pulled Uzi further down into the pit, the planet rumbling beneath him as he stared at the ground, his ears beginning to ring.

 

     No. No, no, no, no no nonono-

 

     He couldn’t hear himself, but he felt like he was screaming. He felt his throat getting raw as his lungs heaved, claws slashing at the ground as piles of stone and ice were sliced to ribbons. He cycled through so many destructive devices, chainsaw blades and missiles firing in every direction until the pillars around him were nothing but rubble. Even after collapsing to his knees in the crater he’d created, his body was wracked with sobs, his claws tearing through his hair as tears dripped from his visor hard enough to cause overheating. Not that he cared. His core could get ripped from him this very second, and he’d probably thank the merciful soul that spared him - he wouldn’t have to walk through the rest of his days with an empty core thumping in his chest.

 

     For Uzi was gone - and now, there was nothing left of his heart.

 

     An earthquake snapped him out of his grief just enough to keep his vision clear. His body felt heavy, and truthfully, he was contemplating just sitting there and letting fate run its course - he’d lost everyone, everything. What was the point?

 

     It was then that he looked down to the snow, realizing what it was that Uzi had thrown at him. He looked bewildered - were these… keys?

 

     His visor blinked in recognition - these weren’t just keys. They were spaceship keys - he scrambled for his hat, which had fallen off in his rampage, looking at the pilot’s logo with a newfound determination.

 

     Cyn had taken everything from him - his friends, his home, his love - he’d be damned if she took anything else from anyone.

 

     With another planetary rumble, he put on his hat and blasted off the ground, his wings carrying him at a dizzying speed - that spaceship had to be around here somewhere.

 

———

 

     It was practically a suicide mission. He knew the chances of defeating Cyn and J alone were slim - but he couldn’t run. He had to try, he just had to - if not for his own sake, then for Uzi’s. She’d have never let him live down such a lame attempt at escaping.

 

     He was dodging space rocks and planetary matter when the ship’s scanners picked up another drone - he was surprised, he wasn’t sure they were capable of surviving a blast of that magnitude. He used the controls to zoom in on the image, and he practically felt his core stop functioning.

 

     No way. There was no way-

 

     It was probably the most foolish thing he’d ever done, but damn it, he’d gladly be a fool for this - he immediately blasted off in the direction of the drone, weaving through debris and slamming the button to open the spaceship doors as his tail all but yanked his passenger inside.

 

     As soon as the doors shut, his breathing quickened, his grasp tightening on the controls. He heard groaning from behind him, but he’d never been more scared to turn around until he heard that voice-

 

     “N…? N, is that you?!”

 

     His entire body tensed, and he turned around in his swivel chair, his body acting before his mind. He could hardly believe what he was seeing, trying to determine if this was real or just another one of Cyn’s cruel tricks as Uzi’s panicked purple stared back at him.

 

     She slowly stood up, adjusting to the gravity inside the ship as she walked towards him, yelling in a voice just an hour prior he swore he’d hear in his dreams for the rest of his life.

 

     “N!! What were you thinking ?! I wanted you to stay away , you were supposed to be safe - and what about my mom?! She was back there, we have to go and-“

 

     N couldn’t respond, couldn’t speak - he could hardly even breathe. What he did do, though, was practically tackle Uzi, rushing forward and hugging her so tightly that the both of them fell to their knees. For once, he was the one with his head buried in her shoulder, clinging to her like she’d be ripped away from him all over again if he even thought of letting her go.

 

     Uzi didn’t quite know how to respond - she’d never been on the receiving end of this. Her arms instinctively wrapped around him, a hand gently petting his hair as she spoke.

 

     “And… N? N, what’s wrong?”

 

     Her usual snark and sarcasm is gone, replaced with a genuine worry as he only holds her tighter. Gods, if he didn’t want to let go before, he certainly didn’t want to now - he hadn’t held her long enough, hadn’t had the guts to tell her how she made him feel before she went and gave herself up, throwing herself into what they thought was certain doom for his sake -

 

     “I almost lost you,” N replied, his voice small as his face burrowed into the crook of her neck.

 

     “I thought you- You nearly- oh Gods…”

 

     He sobbed into her shoulder, not caring to repress the way he felt - not this time. The idea that he’d lost her had nearly broken him, and right now, he couldn’t bring himself to be the cool, rebellious spaceship pilot. He was just a boy in love, clutching the one who held the pieces of his nearly broken heart to his chest and hoping they’d stitch it back up together when this was all over.

 

     For once, Uzi Doorman was stunned speechless. She was always equipped with a witty comeback, the sarcasm seeping into her tone with every phrase she uttered. N helped her feel strong, like she wasn’t alone when shit hit the fan - like she had someone on her team that actually wanted to be there. They had become that for each other - in hindsight, it should’ve been obvious that he’d be distraught by her epic self-sacrifice.

 

     She continued to hold him back, the two of them curled on the floor as her hand gently soothed his messy hair. Once the crying calmed down, she spoke, her tone softer but resolute.

 

     “I don’t regret it,” she said, “I’d do it again.”

 

     N tensed in her arms at that. Of course she would - part of him was scared at the thought of it. But the other part of him…

 

     …he couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

     “I don’t blame you,” he says, pulling away to look at her with a teary smile, “I’d have done the same for you.”

 

     Uzi returns his expression, purple tears glowing on her visor before her bittersweet smile spreads into a cheshire grin, grabbing the sides of his face to gently bonk their visors together.

 

     “Then DIE MAD, BI-“

 

     The sound of crunching metal echoed through the spaceship, and the both of them looked over to find glowing yellow tendrils weaving their way through the walls, accompanied by a large projection of a pop-up window.

 

[ MESSAGE FROM USER: “Cyn”

 

Please stop :) ]

 

     …well, that certainly wasn’t good.

Notes:

Y’all I love the two of them so much, I’ve had them for about two weeks and already you will never be able to pry them from my cold dead hands I love them so much

I highkey wanna write the kiss scene we deserved but alas, that will be another fic, I am eeby and neebies to sleeby

Hope y’all enjoy this because I know I certainly did :3