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Show me mercy

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Logan didn't wake to his claws sinking into Wade’s chest, and he didn't wake to screams from either him or Wade. He awoke to the sound of Wade’s heartbeat and his soft snoring. He awoke to the sound of Al making a coffee in the kitchen and heading back into her bedroom with Dogpool. Her soft paws walking in sync with Al’s, echoing on the tiles, and then they were on as a soft thud on the carpet. He let his eyes close again and decided to stay in the warmth of his bed until Wade woke up. Eventually, Wade shifted in sleep; his breath quickened from the slow, deep breaths of sleep, and he felt Wade's hand move up and curl into his hair.

“Are you awake, Peanut?” Wade asked as he scratched him behind the ear. Wade’s voice was low from sleep, and Logan grunted a reply. It was too early for words, and he knew Wade would talk enough for the both of them. 

“You want a coffee?” 

Logan grunted again. 

“Yeah, me too.” Wade agrees, “You stay here, Princess, and I'll make you a coffee.” 

Logan rolled off Wade onto the empty side of the pull-out bed and listened as Wade made his way to the kitchen and began to work the coffee machine. He listened as Wade opened a foil package and pulled the toaster down.  Logan could smell the sweet smell of warming Pop-Tarts, hot coffee pouring into a cup from a pod placed in the coffee machine, and the scent of Wade. Logan grabbed the pillow Wade had slept on and smiled against it as he listened to Wade adding milk and an enormous amount of sugar to his coffee.

Then he heard Wade placing a new cup in the machine, knowing it was for him. In the awful mug, Wade had brought him from Walmart. Wade always used a pink mug with lots of Hello Kitty faces, and Logan’s was a pink mug with the words ‘Mummy’ in white writing. Logan has no idea what Wade found funny about the mug, but neither did a lot of what Wade found funny. Like the dog toothbrush he got Logan, Logan threw it at his head until Wase revealed a pink Barbie toothbrush for Logan to use.

At that point, he didn't care about the Barbie face that stared up at him from the toothbrush. Eventually, they had to get an adult toothbrush for him because he broke it by brushing too hard against his sharp canine teeth for a children's toothbrush to handle. Logan picked himself a black toothbrush, which sat next to Wade’s pink one in the glass cup on the sink. 

Wade had made coffee for Logan every morning since he moved in, and Logan’s chest got tight each time. Today, he let himself smile at the smell of coffee, the smell of food, and the strong scent of Wade on the pillow. Logan let out a content sigh. Wade started to hum a song Logan didn't recognise, and Logan sat up as Wade approached him, holding out a hot black coffee, the handle towards Logan.

“Doesn't that burn your hand?” Logan asked.

“Maybe, but I don't have much feeling in my hands. Just feels warm to me.” Wade shrugged.

“Oh,” Logan said, looking sadly at Wade's hand. Wondering how much sensation the man had left, he asked, “Is it your whole body that doesn't have a lot of feeling or just your hands?”

“My whole body, but don't worry. I can still feel things, especially in sensitive areas.” Wade said with a wink. He ran his hand across his thigh, and Logan felt a blush across his chest. His checks felt warm. He was glad he wore the oversized grey hoodie Wade had brought him to bed. He didn't blush on his face; he was sure someone would have teased him at the mansion if he had. Logan sipped his coffee. It was perfect.

“God, look at you blushing at a slightly dirty comment; I've said so much worse to you,” Wade said. Fuck, Logan thought to himself. 

“I’m not blushing,” Logan murmured, blushing furiously. Wade laughed as he returned to the kitchen and grabbed the plate of Pop-Tarts and his coffee.

“You do that a lot,” Wade said, climbing into bed beside Logan. Wade placed a hand on his thigh, and Logan sighed softly at the feeling.

“Do what?” Logan asked before taking a sip of coffee.

“Blush.” Wade said happily, “And the best part is you don't even know you do it. Well, I guess you do now, but yeah, bad news, peanut, I see you blush when I walk around in my shorts and t-shirt; I see you blush when I put my arm behind the headrest as I reverse the car when we go to the store, and I see you blush-”

“Alright, alright!” Logan protested, “I get it. Shut up about it, Bub.” 

“I think it's cute. You're so easy to read; when you are mad, you frown harder than I thought it was possible to frown; when you get embarrassed or turned on, you blush, and when you're happy, you make these little sighs.” 

“That's so creepy that you noticed that,” Logan said, annoyed and secretly pleased that Wade would pay such close attention to his actions.

“You're annoyed, but you're also happy that I know all this.” 

“How do you know that, what's the tell?,” Logan grumbled. 

“I didn't, but I do now, Kitty Claws .” Wade laughed. 

“I hate you, Bub,” Logan said.

“When you say that, it sounds like I love you.” Wade beamed, and Logan drank his coffee. Wade broke a Pop-Tart in half and dipped it into his coffee. 

“Gross,” Logan said, and Wase just grinned and ate the pop tart, dripping coffee onto the bedding. 

“That's dripping on the blanket, Bub,” Logan said, surprised by the sheer fondness in his voice. Wade smiled smugly, and Logan focused on his coffee. It was hard to pretend this wasn't something that made him happy, waking up beside someone unhurt and smiling. Usually, Logan would wake to either Wade putting a coffee down next to him on the floor or he woke screaming, his claws ripping open the cheap blanket. They had begun to stockpile blankets. 

“You gonna eat any of this, Peanut?” Wade asked.

“Not hungry yet,” Logan said, and Wade bit into the second Pop-Tart. 

“Do you have any Deadpool shit to do today?” Logan asked after he finished his coffee and placed it on the floor beside the bed.

“Nah, nothing yet,” Wade said, looking downcast.

“Good,” Logan said, and Wade turned to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh? Is there something you want to do today, Princess?” Wade said, placing the plate and cup down on the floor. 

Logan rolled his eyes at the comment and curled up to Wade, sinking into the bed, pulling the blanket up to his ears and resting his head against Wade’s chest. Listening to his thudding heart, louder than usual. ‘I can read you too, Bub.’ Logan thought, ‘I just need to be close to you.’

Logan reached out to hold Wade’s hand; he brought his hand down to his nose and inhaled the scent of Wade. He sighed deeply and then froze. Did he truly sigh that much when he was feeling content? 

“Well?” Wade asked.

“Well, what, Bub?” Logan said, feeling a strange urge to lick the traces of the Pop-Tarts in Wade’s hands. Would it freak Wade out? Was it possible to freak Wade out? 

“Is there something you wanted to do today?” Wade asked.

“No,” Logan said before he decides to see if he could weird Wade out, and he licks a stripe up Wade’s hand, tasting the brown sugar, wheat and the taste of something uniquely Wade. Wade released a soft gasp, and Logan let go of his hand, only to wrap his hand around his wrist. He licked at his hand again; tiny kitten licks against his rough skin; he found himself getting far too into it. It was strangely soothing. Wade’s heartbeat began to beat faster. Wade looked down at the older man, the same man who had stabbed him over and over again, now gently licking his hand, his hair messy with the two cat ear-shaped cowlicks sticking up comically under the blanket that hid part of Logan’s face. 

“You’re going to kill me,” Wade whined, and Logan just breathed a sigh against Wade’s hand. He nipped at Wade’s fingers, and Wade made a high, pleased noise. And Logan couldn't help but laugh and snort at the stupid sound he made. 

“I love when you laugh like that,” Wade said,

Logan didn't reply; he laughed and snorted once when Scott dropped his morning coffee when Rouge slammed the kitchen door open, yelling that she was worried about touching a spider in her room but wasn't sure how to get rid of it. Logan knew she didn't like spiders and wanted one of them to get rid of it.

Scott had told him to shut up, which was expected, but he commented that the snort sounded ugly. Logan remembered feeling like his checks were burning from embarrassment. He had insulted him back, of course, but Scott had pinned him down to bed the night before and whispered in his ear that he was hot and that he liked his arms, his chest and as usual, it all turned on a dime. Logan realised Wade was talking and was deep into a one-sided conversation 

“-And then I could take you to a museum.” 

“A museum?” Logan said he used to go on school field trips with the X-Men; the first time, Strom had strong-armed him into going on a trip, but after that, he was almost the first to sign up to volunteer. He was happy to answer the children's questions on history until the museum went too far back, before his time, and then he would have to read the facts of the signs.

“If you want to go?” Wade asked. 

“Yeah,” Logan said, “Yeah, I want to do that.”

“Bakery, too?” Wade said, and Logan’s throat got tight. He hid his face against Wade’s shirt. He tried not to picture the way the mutant hunters had torn through the school, the way they had stacked the teachers and students, the way they had set the building on fire. He tried to focus on Wade. 

“You’re not crying again, are you, peanut?” Wade asked

“No.” Logan said, his voice weaving, “Fuck off.” 

“Are you on your period? Why are you so emotional.” Wade said, pressing a hand into Logan’s hair. 

“Must be.” Logan tried to joke as Wade brushed his hair back. He didn't think he could ever earn such softness and didn't deserve a single drop of this kindness. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Logan admitted.

“There’s nothing wrong with you; you’re still adjusting to life here. Don’t you want another coffee or anything? I can make you something to eat?” Wade said. 

“I don't deserve you.” Logan sniffed. Wade made coffee for a man who had abandoned his team and the school and turned into a bloodthirsty animal that should have been put down. 

“You deserve better than me,” Wade said, and Logan shook his head against Wade’s shirt.

“No! Nobody would...there’s only you that I could..that would...” Logan tried to get the words out, but they all got tangled in his mouth, “Wade, you’re an over-dramatic idiot, but I wouldn't want anyone but you.” 

“Oh! That’s so sweet, Peanut.”

Logan turned to look up at Wade, and “I wanted to say…Thank you for always making me coffee in the morning. It means a lot.” Wade's heart shattered at the sight of Logan, his eyelashes wet and a soft, broken look on his face that made Wade wonder how the bar could be so low that this man thought a morning coffee was this great act of kindness. Wade felt himself tearing up. 

“It's nothing; it's just coffee.” Wade protested. 

“It's not just coffee,” Logan said. 

“I would set the world on fire for you; making coffee for you is nothing,” Wade said.

“That's a bit dramatic,” 

“You've seen what I will do for the people I love. You're here because of how far I'm willing to go, and you think I'm joking?” Wade said.

“Horribly, I believe you.” Logan sniffed. 

“Good,” Wade said. 

“I don't want to have to set the world on fire for you,” Logan said.

“You don't have to; I can care for myself.”

“Wade…I’m not…I’m not good. You know what I've done.”

“Logan, you did those things when you were out of your mind with grief; grief makes you do things you wouldn't normally do. I tried to blow up myself and the apartment I shared with Vannsa up when I lost her. And I'm so glad I brought her back because I don't know if I would have been able to stop trying to end my life if I didn't, even after everything that happened.” 

“Do you still feel…”

“No, no.” Wade said, “I mean, for a while, I basically stayed alive to get high and watch bake-off with Al, but now I have you, my weird Dog, and my family.” 

“What if you lost me?” Logan said

“I’m not going to.”

“But you said the adamantium poisoned the other Logan, I might not last as long as you,” Logan said, his chest tight. 

“Well, then we go together,” Wade said. 

“Dont be fucking stupid.” Logan snapped.

“Look, when we get to that bridge, we will decide how to cross it together. Today, let's just go to a small, expensive French bakery, walk around a museum, then sit on the sofa, eat pizza, and drink beer.” 

“Okay.” Logan agreed, he could focus on today.

“Okay.” Wade smiled, one day at a time, Peanut. Go shower or don’t. I love your musty patio furniture and damp hay smell.”

“Gross, I’ll shower.” Logan laughed. 

“I’ll hop in after you…or I can come in with you and soap down these tits of yours.”

“I’m locking the door,” Logan said. 

“Spoilsport.” Wade laughed. 

“Pervert.” Logan smiled. 

“You love it,” Wade giggled. Logan felt himself scooped up by Wade’s solid hands. Logan blinked as he found himself sitting in Wade’s lap. He was always taken aback by the fact that Wade could easily move and lift him. He placed his hands on Wade’s shoulders and raised an eyebrow. 

“Bub?” Logan asked. Wade left one hand on Logan’s waist and placed a hand against his cheek. 

“I want you to know, all jokes aside, I'll always protect you when you're with me. Not that you need it, you angry, skilled fighting kitten. But I want you to feel safe with me.”

“I dont need protecting, idiot. But I do feel safe with you, enough to let you annoy me every day,” Logan said. Wade simply laughed at him. Logan moves his head to press a kiss against Wade’s palm and then turns back to search his face. Happiness seemed to radiate from him; Logan was caught in his eyes. How he looked at him was unlike how anyone has looked at him before, like he mattered to them beyond being useful.

Beyond being good-looking enough to bed but not good enough to take home. To keep. Wade had brought him home, and he showed no sign of letting him go. It was a new feeling to feel wanted, for someone to want to spend the night with him and then the next day with him. 

“I love you, you know that, don't you?” Wade said with a smile that made Logan melt against him. Logan nodded slowly.

“And not just for your incredible body. I’d love you if you lost weight or if you gained weight. If your hair falls out or if you shave your eyebrows off. I love you, your brain, how deeply you care about the people you love, your animal tendencies, your terrible cooking-

“Oi! I'm not any worse at cooking than you!” Logan huffed.

“Dont ruin my big speech!” Wade snipped through a grin. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I love you too, you annoying idiot.” Logan snapped back, and before Wade could speak, he pressed his lips to Wade’s. Wade’s hand slid into his hair as he kissed him back.  Wade’s lips were soft, yet he could feel the scars there too, and the kiss deepened; they let themselves descend into the sensation, and when they broke for air, Logan, breathless, rested his head on Wade’s shoulder, pressed his nose against Wade’s neck and inhaled his scent, and he smelled like home. Logan let out a long sigh, and Wade held him tightly. 

Notes:

This was published in the stock room of my work. Take that how you want. Also if you enjoyed this fic, you will probably enjoy my fic Casual!