Work Text:
Jschlatt SFW Alphabet :D
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He’s super affectionate and sweet in private, but he is less so in public. He isn’t a big fan of PDA, but if someone is looking a little too long he’ll make sure to show that you’re his, either with a sweet kiss or a protective arm around you.
His love language is physical touch, so he is often cuddling you or holding you in some way. He loves having physical contact with you in almost any context. He’s also a gift-giver. Despite his outward greedy persona, he loves spoiling you with presents and gifts. If you mention wanting something, expect to see it on your desk in 3-5 business days.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
The friendship would begin after an introduction from a mutual friend. You two would instantly feel comfort in each other as introverts and spend a lot of time together after meeting. You get to talking about your individual interests and both of you listen intently as the other yaps about whatever is currently interesting to them. You also bond over your love of animals, the classic “if there’s a dog/cat at the party” situation.
Alternatively, if you are an extrovert: you get him to laugh with some ridiculous antics, most likely organized by both you and Ted, and you really hit it off from there. Being able to convince him to leave the house and coax him out of his shell is your favorite thing to do, and you two wingman really well for each other in almost all social situations.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
He LOVES to cuddle. He’s very clingy when you guys are around the house, and he loves to snuggle with you and the cats, whether it’s on the couch, in bed, or even just him wrapping himself around your shoulders while you’re cooking or at your desk. He also loves when you come in while he’s working and interrupt him with a snuggle every once in a while.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
He does. His persona doesn’t lend him to seem this way, but he wants to have a life with you and some little ones running around. I think he’s a good cook but he’s lazy and doesn’t like doing it despite his affinity for it. Cleaning is something he does without thinking, a bit OCD even. He keeps his space very clean and expects you to pitch in as well. Definitely a “clean as you go” guy.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
He’d be nice about it. I don’t think he would be one of those people who drags it out for a particularly long amount of time, and he would definitely do it in person, not over the phone or text. He would probably want to go no contact for a bit, because it would hurt him and you more to keep seeing each other every day, but you might be able to be friends again after a bit. I don’t think he would hold a grudge unless you did something particularly egregious.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
He commits to you when he’s ready to. Key word: ready . He takes a while to feel ready for such a big (life-long) commitment. He takes marriage pretty seriously, so it isn’t a decision he makes lightly. That being said, he also doesn’t want a ridiculously long engagement. Once he decided he wanted you to be his forever, in sickness and in health, ‘til death, he wants to make it official ASAP. You guys have a pretty short engagement period due to his insistence in tying the knot. He just wants to make you his and himself yours .
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He’s very gentle despite his rough facade. He is actually a very emotional and well adjusted person underneath the whole persona, and you admire his gentle nature. He’s especially gentle with children, whether they be yours, family, or fans. He is incredibly nurturing and sweet and you can’t help but call him a big teddy bear.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?
Warm. He’s big and tall so you know those hugs would be super warm and comforting. He hugs you from behind a lot and if you’re a lot smaller than him he teases you about it. He likes hugging despite his brash exterior.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
He says it accidentally one night about 6 months into the relationship and tries to take it back, but when you say it back, he smirks and acts like he’s the one who got you to confess first.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He’s definitely the jealous type. Not the crazy YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY GUY FRIENDS!!!1!1 type, but if someone is showing a bit too much interest in you in public or online he definitely makes a point of claiming you as his. Whether it’s with a physical gesture or a sharp glare or remark towards the offending party, he makes sure to claim what’s his.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Warm, sweet, and soft. He doesn’t usually go in super feisty (unless the occasion calls for it, *wink* *wink*) and much prefers a soft and sweet kiss to a gnashing teeth fight. He loves to kiss your neck when he hugs you from behind, and when he’s worshiping your body, he loves to kiss you everywhere . In turn, he enjoys when you kiss him on his forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips. Basically anywhere on his sweet face is his favorite.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He’s great with kids. He gives me such a strong girl dad vibe, and I feel like if you had kids together he would be the most amazing and doting father. Allowing them to put clips in his hair and makeup on him, allowing them to climb him, crawling around on his hands and knees with them on his back, basically bending to their every whim.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
He is NOT a morning person. If you get up early for whatever reason, he stays in bed at least an hour longer than you do, no matter what. When he does get up, he’s raspy and groggy for about an hour before he fully wakes up. If you make him breakfast, he tends to be a bit more chipper.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nights are warm and cozy. He loves to snuggle on the couch after dinner, watching something on TV or mindlessly scrolling on your phones, just spending the domestic time together is something he cherishes. When it’s time for bed, he often has a hard time falling asleep, but having your warm body against his helps soothe him more often than not.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
He’s a very private person and pretty slow to trust. You can tell that he’s been hurt before, leading to this reluctance, but you are able to coax him into opening up as you open up to him and get to know each other better.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
It heavily depends on what is going on. If he’s already having a rough day, it’s pretty easy for him to get pissed, but he doesn’t take it out on you. He just shuts in on himself when he’s angry, which isn’t healthy, but you guys are working on it together.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He remembers the important things. Your usual coffee order, birthdays, anniversaries, and even specific dates and events. He might forget the exact details, but he can always remember the happy moments with you.
He’s also known for ordering you anything you mention wanting for. You want a new moisturizer? Oh, he’s got you. That cute workout set? Already done. He loves spoiling you and remembers to order most anything you mention wanting.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
Your engagement. He can’t forget the smile on both of your faces and how excited he was to be with you forever.
If you have kids, the birth of the kids! He is incredibly pleased and proud to be a father and he definitely cried at their birth(s), despite his denial of doing anything of the sort.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He is VERY protective of you and your family. The family you’ve built together is his top priority and he maintains your anonymity and security online as much as you would like. If you would prefer to be more in the public eye, he would never stop you, but he maintains anonymity for you if that’s what you’d prefer. You guys also keep your kids names, faces, and other identifying information confidential until they are old enough to make those decisions themselves. You don’t post them online or allow the public to see them. He keeps his weapons around, but keeps them very safe, especially if you have kids. They are locked and unloaded in a place the kids cannot access and he never shows them around the children. When the kids are old enough, gun safety is a conversation in your home, but the locations of the weapons are not revealed.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Depends. I think one of the best parts about your relationship with each other is that you guys don’t have to try so hard around each other, but if it’s one of the bigger anniversaries or celebrations, he treats them with importance and reverence. For gifts, he’s a casual gift-giver and enjoys giving you presents and surprises year-round. Most of them are just things you offhandedly mention, but he does always find a way to surprise you with a particularly special birthday gift every year.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
Messy eater. He always cleans up afterwards, but sometimes the scene during is quite the wreck.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Not overly concerned. He wants to look presentable, but he’s not in the bathroom grooming himself for longer than 15-20 minutes.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Yes. I don’t really know how to elaborate on this idea, but he definitely would feel incomplete without you and the little life you’ve created together.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Loves cooking and baking with you (and your kids if you have them).
Insomniac/has trouble sleeping.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He’s not big on PDA. The occasional peck here and there and holding hands in public is fine, but he’s definitely not macking up on you in public, and he expects the same from you. That being said, he is protective and if he sees someone eyeing you up, he will wrap a protective arm around you and kiss you deeply.
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
He’s a light sleeper and he doesn’t usually sleep well. If you’re away for whatever reason, or he leaves, he sleeps awfully. He sleeps best when you’re both in bed together and the room is cold. He has a few insomniac tendencies and you sometimes have trouble getting him to come to bed because he can be a bit of a workaholic. His insomnia improves as you get together, however.