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Leo Fitz was slipping.
It’d been five days since he and Coulson emerged from the portal, and Fitz’s fearless leader was sorely in need of another hand. Sure, he had others, but he wanted his favourite one back, and since the man had left it on a planet nobody had any desire to return to, and he was technically still Fitz’s boss, it was down to Fitz to create a new one. Immediately. Unfortunately, Fitz had been having a pretty damn hard time concentrating, his lack of focus causing him to make mistakes he’d never normally make, and miss things he’d never normally miss. And he knew the reason, of course he did.
Jemma.
It’d been four days since their last proper conversation, in which he had to give her the news nobody wanted to.
“It wasn’t him, Jem. I promise”, he’d said, possibly a billion times over. She seemed to understand, in fact, seemed more forgiving than he’d ever dared hope she would be. But Fitz knew better than to hope she’d welcome him with open arms any time soon. So, he made his last of many apologies, left the doorway in which he’d been hovering, and left her alone. Really, it was completely up to her when (if) she ever decided she wanted to be with Fitz, and he wouldn’t push her for something he felt was so undeserved. Space was what she needed, so that’s what he gave her. And he was fine with that. Really. As fine as he was with having to completely reconstruct the most complicated robotic hand he’d ever built in a matter of days. Perfectly fine.
“Dammit Coulson! Getting your old hand back would be less frustrating than this!” Fitz threw down the pencil in his hand and reclined in his chair, eyes closed, stretching out every muscle in his arms, neck and back as if it were possible to undo the damage years of hunching over various projects had done to his body.
Alright, Fitz. The sooner you get this done the sooner you can get to bed. Yawning, he shook his body out and attempted a slightly better posture in his chair. Sitting up, he was welcomed by a pair of hands at his shoulder blades and an unmistakable scent. His eyes snapped open.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Fitz attempted to pry her hands off him and turn in his chair to face her, but she wouldn’t let him.
“You don’t have to-”
“Just let me.” As Jemma massaged every bit of tension out of his neck and shoulders, it was all Fitz could do to suppress the sigh threatening to spill out from his lips. He’d be a downright liar if he said he’d never imagined a scenario like this; an empty lab, a comfortable silence, and her, easing out his every worry as she’d always done so well. But Fitz knew it couldn’t last. There were more important tasks at hand; he needed to clear things up and get his best friend back.
“I’m not avoiding you.”
Jemma’s hands left Fitz’s shoulders and she came around to sit next to him, raising an eyebrow as she did so.
“Really? Because I’ve gotta be honest, it kind of feels that way.”
“I was giving you your space.”
“Space? You really think I want more of that? I’ve had enough space this year to last me a lifetime!”
“But after what I-”
“Fitz, listen to me. I told you this four days ago and I’m telling you now, and if I have to tell you again I’ll be pretty annoyed, but I’ll do it because you need to understand this. I’m not angry. I don’t blame you, I never could. You did what I asked you to! I asked you to come back, and not to bring It with you. You did both of those things, and yet you treat me with such caution as if I’m going to-”
“Because I couldn’t bring Will back! I couldn’t do the most important thing!”
“You think bringing back Will is the most important thing? You think Will is the most important thing? Oh, Fitz, you’re so blind!” Simmons stood up, running a hand through her hair as a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh escaped her lips.
“Tell me what I’m not seeing then!” As he rose to stand with her, eyes pleading, it was all he could do to keep 9 months’ worth of frustration out of his tone. The last thing he wanted here was a fight.
Jemma looked down then, avoiding Fitz’s gaze, but a hint of a smile lingered on her lips. She seemed almost.. embarrassed, and Fitz wouldn’t allow himself to wonder why.
“You know, in a way you were right to give me time. It helped me realise a lot of things. From the moment you jumped through the portal, for the second time, for me, I’ve been figuring out a lot about what’s most important to me, and how I truly, honestly feel about everything.” At Jemma’s words, Fitz couldn’t help the quickening of his heart. So far she’d said nothing concrete, but the implications in her words were all that old, forsaken hope needed to rise again.
“Will was.. exactly what I needed on that planet. A friend, a protector, a.. distraction.. Being there with a normal person, getting to pretend to be normal sometimes, getting to kiss someone; it was an escape from the reality of where I was and what I’d been through. Like I said, he was exactly what I needed. At the time. I can’t say for certain how things would be if he made it out alive, because I never knew him in any capacity outside of that planet. But something I can always, always say for sure is that for the past decade it has not been Will, or anyone else for that matter, at my side, challenging me, inspiring me, loving me despite every awful thing I’ve ever done. Do you remember when I had the Chitauri virus and jumped out of the bus, and Ward jumped after me?”
“Of course I do.”
“And you remember what I said. Ward may have grabbed me out of the sky but you were my hero that day. If only I’d realised then how much you meant to me all this may not have taken so long”, she mused. “Anyway, this is no different. Somebody else may have kept me alive, although you literally jumped into a whole other universe to bring me back, have you even thought about that, Fitz? But anyway, I know what you’re like. You’ve been comparing yourself to another man, all their victories, all they’ve done for me, every reason I might choose them over you. But Fitz, then and now you were wrong.” Jemma’s smile grew as her eyes, that had lingered on the same wall behind him for the entirety of her speech, finally found his, and the hope he’d squashed since the day he learned of Will’s existence began to rise again.
“You asked me if I loved him, on the day that we.. uh, the last time we really talked about this. And I don’t know now if my answer was ever correct; I’m still figuring that out. But Fitz, you never asked me how I felt about you.” Stepping closer to him, Jemma took Fitz’s hands in her own and her eyes explored his face, a nervous, unsure smile on hers.
“Love.. the word doesn’t cover it, although it’s tough to find words that do actually. I think after all the years we’ve spent together it’d be impossible to imagine not spending the rest of them with you. That’s sort of the way I always saw it, really, but somewhere along the road I realised exactly the weight it held. It wasn’t that I merely couldn’t imagine my life without you anymore, but more that I imagined every part of it with you. But anyway, what I’m trying to say, in so many clumsy, insufficient words is, it’s you, Fitz. It’s always been you. The day you told me, at the bottom of the ocean, the day I tried to tell you, as I’m telling you now and every day in between. All I want is you, Fitz.” Jemma’s eyes had darted around the room countless times, bravely meeting his and then shying away, but now as she faced him, unwavering, her eyes remained on his, the tenderness in them unmistakable.
Fitz felt practically shellshocked, her confession rendering him incapable of speech, movement or even coherent thought. But as her hands came to rest on his chest and she gravitated into him, he found his arms wrapping themselves around her waist effortlessly, and their lips met without hesitation. The first kiss they shared happened almost before Fitz even registered what he was doing; an impulsive, selfish, hungry grasp at what could have been his last chance to kiss her. But this was nothing of the sort. This was deliberate, and couldn’t have been sweeter. When the pair pulled away, their foreheads came to rest against each other, and it was in this proximity, smiles wide, eyes aglow, hearts pounding, that they were interrupted.
“Simmons, Turbo, we-oh.”
Fitz laughed to himself. Of course; of course the moment he’d been dreaming of for ten years would be interrupted. Rolling her eyes with a smile, Jemma turned, making no move to leave Fitz’s grasp.
“Yes, Mack?”
“Sorry guys, didn’t mean to, uh.. Anyway, we got a situation. We’re needed in the briefing room now. But I’ll leave you to…” Trailing off, Mack turned abruptly, leaving the room.
“Okay, I know this has been a long time coming,” Fitz started with a laugh, “but if that’s how everyone’s going to react to finding out we’re finally doing this, then..”
“Then let’s rip the bandaid off now!” Jemma responded. Fitz raised an eyebrow.
“Sorry?”
“Well why not? Walk in there holding hands, give everyone the shock of their lives. It’ll be fun! Besides, Mack may not be a gossip, but this is something he might spill. If they’re going to know anyway, why not tell them ourselves?” Fitz didn’t require much convincing.
“Alright then!” He took Jemma’s hand, leading her down the hall to the briefing room nearby.
“Still think the cosmos has it out for you?” Jemma asked, smirking. Fitz laughed.
“No, I’ve gotta say you may have changed my perspective on that one.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I’m actually beginning to think I might be the luckiest man alive.”