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Elain was tired. She was tired of everyone walking on eggshells around her.
She was tired of Lucien, her so-called mate, acting like he cared, when in reality he never paid attention to the things she said. Yes, he was a nice male, and Elain could see them being friends. But he wasn’t interested in her hobbies, and he looked bored to tears anytime she talked about the new flowers she was growing, or like he would be sick anytime Elain asked him to try her new desserts. Were they experimental? Yes. Were they that bad? No, most of the time not.
Elain felt as though they had tried to see what the bond would look like. Truth be told, she was tired of trying. Becoming Fae was not a choice presented to Elain, it just happened, and Elain thought she had the right to choose who she loved rather than it being shoved down her throat. While it was an adjustment (understatement), Elain thought she had done rather well at adjusting and keeping everyone off her back. Unless it came to Lucien.
Seeing the red-haired male walk through the door of the River House always caused her to roll her eyes anymore, because she knew that soon Feyre or Rhys would look at her expectantly, and Azriel would quietly leave after Cassian would make some sort of inappropriate comment. Nesta, though, never said anything. She understood what it felt like to not have a choice, and Elain thought her older sister saw and understood more than she would ever admit.
Lucien had just left for the third time this week, as Elain trudged up the stairs to her room. It had become her sanctuary in the last few weeks. While she enjoyed the River House and the quiet it brought with it, Elain still missed the Townhouse. Here, she felt slightly isolated from the rest of Velaris.
Elain fell face first onto her bed, breathing in deeply and screaming into her floral quilt on the exhale. She didn’t move when she heard the knocks on her door.
“Elain?” Her younger sister asked from the hallway. “We’re coming in.”
Feyre and Nesta entered the bedroom, and upon seeing Elain on the bed gave each other a rueful look. Nesta moved to sit beside Elain, while Feyre opened the curtains and pushed open the windows, letting the cool fall breeze into the room.
“How was it today?” Nesta asked Elain, rubbing her back.
“Don’t ask.”
Feyre sighed, slightly annoyed. “Lucien is a good male, Elain. He would treat you well.”
“I never said he wasn’t,” Elain stated, sitting up. “I know he would, but Feyre, we have nothing in common. Not a single thing. I was talking about my new Moon Flowers, you know, the ones that only bloom during a full moon, and he nearly fell asleep. And I don’t blame him, because if you asked me what he talked about today, I couldn’t even tell you.”
Nesta laughed softly. “Where did you get those flowers anyway? They are beautiful.”
They were an autumn flower that grew quickly. The blooms were a dark purple, and only opened during the dusk of a full moon, closing back up before the dawn. Last month, Elain had sat outside admiring them all night, waiting on Azriel to show up so she could show him her hard work. After all, the shadowsinger had brought her the seeds. About an hour before dawn, he swooped down from the sky, telling her they looked nice. They sat in comfortable silence until the blooms closed at dawn, sitting so close she could feel his warmth.
Elain shook her head. “I found the seeds at the greenhouse in town.” Neither Feyre nor Nesta needed to know where she got them. Nesta narrowed her eyes but said nothing.
“Nesta and I are here to get you out of the house. We are going to Rita’s tonight.”
Elain groaned in protest. Nesta rolled her eyes before saying, “Come on, you need to get out of here for a bit. It will just be us. The boys are gone, and so is Mor.”
Getting back into town might be nice, and she had only seen the town at night a few times. It really was the most beautiful under the stars. And if the boys were gone…
“Fine,” Elain relented. “But only for a few hours. My flowers are supposed to bloom again tonight.”
Four hours later, Feyre had winnowed them into town and they were walking down the street to Rita’s. Elain could hear the music from where they were and suddenly got a little excited for spending some time outside of her comfort zone. Elain had chosen a tea-length dark purple dress that hugged her waist, which was different than what she usually wore. The neckline was definitely less modest than her normal attire but still was not as low as her sisters’ dresses.
They entered the tavern, and Elain could feel the music in her chest as she followed Feyre to a table along the wall.
“Would you like a drink?” Nesta asked. Elain nodded and watched Nesta make her way to the bar. On the other side of the table, Feyre swayed slightly to the beat. Elain looked around the tavern.
The tables were starting to fill up. In fact, Elain was surprised they were able to locate this one along the wall with how busy it was. Most fairies were on the floor dancing, however, and Elain watched them with interest. They were all moving freely, oblivious to anyone watching. There were groups of girls dancing in circles, holding their drinks up high. Couples were dancing around the floor, some in ways that made Elain blush and look away. And there were several males standing along the bar, scoping out females to ask to dance.
Elain’s neck prickled slightly, right as Nesta showed back up with their drinks.
“Here,” she said in Elain’s ear. “You’ll like this one.”
“What is it?” Elain shouted back. But Nesta said nothing, nodding along to the music and sipping her own. Feyre said something, but Elain couldn’t hear her. Picking up the glass, Elain sipped the pink drink. It tasted like peaches, but still burned going down her throat, worse than wine does. It was good though so she continued to sip on it.
Elain looked around again as Feyre and Nesta shouted at each other. The hair on her neck was still standing up, and Elain was sure someone was watching her. Nesta was teasing Feyre about her and Rhys being loud the night before when Elain’s eyes snagged on the booth in the far corner.
It was darker over there than the rest of the bar, which was how she hadn’t seen him earlier. The booth was rounded, and Azriel sat with his left arm stretched over the back of the booth. He looked relaxed with his right hand holding onto a drink on the table in front of him. She met his eyes, and he was looking directly at her. Suddenly Elain couldn’t tell if it was the music or her heart she felt pounding in her chest. She broke the heated eye contact, and leaned over to Nesta, not worrying that Feyre could hear her over the noise.
“When you said the boys were gone tonight…” Elain trailed off, looking past her sister at the toned Illyrian warrior who was still watching her.
“Yeah, Cas and Rhys are visiting Windhaven. Why?” Nesta asked, looking at her sister.
“No reason,” Elain said a little too quickly. She hoped Nesta wouldn’t ask questions. Of course, they hadn’t included Azriel on that trip. She knew he had been gone on a mission for Rhys the past few days. Elain assumed he wouldn’t be back yet.
Their eyes caught again, and even from the corner of the bar, Elain could see his eyes rove over her shorter-than-normal dress and watched them darken slightly. She downed the rest of her drink.
“Woah,” Feyre said. “That was fast.”
“Where is the bathroom?” Elain said, needing to get away from her sisters, away from the noise, and away from the shadowsinger’s piercing gaze.
Nesta pointed at a dark hallway, and Elain began making her way toward it. She entered and it was brighter than she expected. She felt slightly unsteady on her feet, either from the alcohol or from seeing Azriel, she wasn’t sure. She closed her eyes for a moment, and all she could see was the way his eyes looked at her, the way his leathers fit around his torso, and the way his toned arms looked sitting in the shadows. She opened her eyes.
Get a grip! Elain took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror. Her skin was flushed, and she knew her scent had shifted. The cool water felt good on her hands as she washed them and then pressed them to her warm face. She nodded to herself and left the bathroom.
As she stepped toward the hallway door back to the bar, a calloused hand gently wrapped around her wrist and tugged her further back into the dark. Elain turned and Azriel was suddenly standing right in front of her. His hazel eyes stared at her, and he stood watching her for just a moment, giving her time to move back towards the crowded bar, back towards her sisters. She didn’t.
The next second they were moving towards each other. Azriel’s hands grabbed her waist and moved her to the wall at the back of the hallway. His body pressed in close. Then his mouth was on hers.
It was the best kiss she had ever had. Granted, Elain had only ever kissed Grayson, and she had never particularly enjoyed his kisses. They were awkward and rough. Azriel’s kiss was worshiping and passionate. His lips were soft yet sturdy as they moved against hers.
Elain kissed him back, crushing her lips to his. One hand plunged into his dark hair while the other wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her. Azriel pulled away a moment, his eyes finding hers again. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were a little wild. Elain knew he was waiting for permission.
Her own breathing was heavy, and she nodded slightly, looking from his eyes back to his lips. He kissed her again, and his rough hand traveled over Elain’s hip to her thigh. She brought it up slightly and Azriel picked her up against him, her back still to the wall. His toned forearm came up to rest beside her head as his other hand held her up.
All thoughts had left Elain’s head. She could only think closer, I need to be closer. Her hips rolled into his. A deep groan rumbled in his chest as his head dropped down to her shoulder. She sucked in a breath, his night-chilled mist and cedar scent making her dizzy. Her heart pounded in her chest as he began kissing from her shoulder to her neck, his teeth gently grazing her jaw.
“Azriel,” she panted. “We can’t do this here.”
“Why not?” he breathed before he sucked on the spot right below her ear.
“Someone…” she trailed off as his hand moved up her thigh. His hands felt so good on her skin. They were rough against her, but he touched her softly as if he thought he would never be able to again.
“Someone will see us,” she whispered in his ear, nipping at the lobe. He shivered under her hands.
“Hold on,” he said against her skin, and his hands tightened on her.
He moved them to one side of the hallway and opened a door, carrying her inside. He kicked the door shut with his boot and pressed her against the door. The broom closet was small, but it was private. With that thought, Elain’s hands began to roam all over Azriel. She ran her hands up his strong arms and over his sturdy shoulders. She tried to run her hands under his shirt, but his hands gripped her wrists. One of his hands held them above her head as he continued his assault on her neck.
“I have waited too long for this,” his dark, low voice said, lips brushing against her ear. “If you keep touching me like that, it will be over far too soon.”
Elain tried to squirm, but his grip on her was too tight. His right hand was back on her thigh, and she moaned as it roamed higher. She ground herself against him. His hand brushed up under the skirt of her dress. Elain held her breath as she waited.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, drawing back to search her face.
“Damnit, Azriel, if you don’t touch me right now, I will never speak to you again,” she huffed out.
He chuckled lowly and, finally brushed his fingers against her panties. She nearly cried from how good it felt and was suddenly glad she had worn the ridiculous little lacy panties she had never worn before.
Azriel groaned. “You’re already so wet for me, Elain,” he said huskily. “And I’ve barely touched you.”
Elain whimpered, his words turning her on even more. He let go of her hands to pull the dress over her head. She started to feel slightly self-conscious now that she was barred to him, in nothing but her panties. But then he looked her right in her eyes.
“You’re a beautiful female, Elain,” he said and kissed her again. She had never felt more beautiful than she did in that moment.
Her hands roamed under his shirt again, and this time he didn’t stop her as she pulled it off him. Her fingers undid his pants as he palmed her breasts. He pulled one into his mouth and sucked, as he rolled the other between his thumb and finger. Elain’s back arched off the wall and she gasped at how good it felt.
The other hand found its way under her panties. He gently touched her clit and began moving in slow circles. Her head fell back against the wall as she tried to remember to breathe.
“Please,” Elain whimpered, clutching his shoulders.
He dipped one scarred finger inside her, moving so slowly that Elain thought she might go crazy. Her hips bucked, and he pulled back, tsking at her.
“Patience, princess.”
Elain whimpered but nodded all the same. One finger slowly pushed in again, and paused, waiting to see if she would listen. It took all of her willpower, but Elain stayed still.
“Good girl,” He whispered against her ear, and she shivered. He slowly pushed in further, rubbing his thumb in slow circles around her clit.
“Azriel…” Elain breathed as her eyes rolled in the back of her head. He slowly pushed in and out of her a few times before adding another finger. Elain felt the pressure begin to build low in her core. She moaned out, her hands gripping him tight. He continued to finger her until she thought she might tip over the edge. He slowed down, drawing it out a little longer.
“Come for me, princess,” he said. And she did. She bit down on his shoulder as she came hard, waves of pleasure washing over her. He continued to pump his fingers, stretching her for what she knew would come next.
“Please,” she breathed as she pushed his pants down. His length sprang free and she nearly gasped.
“What do you want, Elain?” he said, pushing her against the door again.
“You. I want you, Azriel.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “Don’t ever stop saying my name.”
She was about to say it again, but he picked her up and slowly pushed his tip into her. Elain gasped and clutched his shoulders again as he slowly moved into her.
“That’s it. You take me so well, princess.”
Elain was in heaven. She had never felt such pleasure as she sank onto his length. Suddenly, he stopped.
“What-” His rough hand covered her mouth, pressing her head back against the door. Her eyes widened at his, but she heard the sound of her sisters right outside the door.
“Where did she go?” Feyre asked, sounding rather concerned.
“She probably went back home. She doesn’t like being around this many people, she’s a homebody, you know that,” Nesta’s voice returned. “Besides her flowers were blooming tonight. She likes to watch those.”
Elain looked at Azriel, and he grinned wickedly at her. Her brows furrowed at him.
He thrust the rest of the way into her. She moaned loudly into his hand, her eyes rolling back into her head. Her sisters’ voices stopped, but Elain wasn’t thinking about that. He pulled out and thrust again until he was sheathed fully inside of her.
She moaned again, and he hissed. Pounding sounded on the door.
“Elain?!” Feyre’s voice said. Azriel thrust again, making a shushing sound in her ear. It didn’t matter. He felt so good inside Elain.
“Let’s go home Feyre,” Nesta said. Thrust.
“Someone’s in there, I heard something,” Feyre said, pounding on the door again. Thrust.
“No one’s in there, Elain will be at home when we get there,” Nesta said, slightly louder.
Their voices quieted as they retreated, and Azriel’s thrusts got faster, harder. Elain was in pure bliss. He removed his hand from her mouth and kissed her reverently.
Azriel came with her name on his lips and his head dropped to her shoulder. She held his head to her as they both came down from their highs, breathing hard.
“I need to get you home,” he said between breaths. He moved away from her and picked up her dress.
“You’ll come to my room tonight, right?” Elain asked, hoping her voice didn’t show her panic.
Azriel smiled softly at her and brushed her hair out of her face. “I will meet you in the garden to watch your flowers bloom. And then if you’ll have me, I will stay with you tonight.”
Elain breathed a sigh of relief. They dressed and Azriel moved her through the shadows to her room. She quickly dressed in something warmer and practically sprinted down to the garden, meeting her sisters in the hall.
“When did you come home?” Feyre said, stopping her for a moment.
“Earlier, not long ago,” Elain practically rambled. “I’m going to miss the blooms.”
Nesta smirked and moved in close to whisper in Elain’s ear. “I think I saw a shadow waiting for you in the garden.”
As her sisters moved away, Elain smiled and made her way to the garden, knowing Azriel would be there, and he would never let her down.