Chapter Text
Pin rolled over and got out of bed.
Her already fragile state of sleep worsened with each passing night. Normally, she’d be able to sleep through the night fine as long as nothing too loud disturbed her, but now her body booted her out from her slumber for no concrete reason multiple times a night.
She tried a lot. Her deputy had been rather helpful in suggesting some home remedies to help with her nightly restlessness: warm milk, fasting from food three hours before bed, abstaining from screens an hour beforehand, and teas made from lavender or chamomile to soothe her. She even fell for the marketing bait at the store for supplemental powders that promised better, undisturbed sleep. Three large jugs of "sleep powder" took up precious space in the kitchen pantry now.
And nothing worked.
She picked up the cup on her nightstand and carefully crept out of the bedroom. Insomnia was her punishment to bear, not Leafy’s. The lemon leaf didn’t cope with sleep deprivation like Pin did. If she so happened to lose even a wink of her usual sleep, she woke up rather cranky or sluggish. Sometimes both. But, Pin did not hear any signs of wakefulness of her as she left, only her soft, shallow breaths and a brief shift to lie on her stomach.
Pin turned on the lights on the way downstairs after shutting the bedroom door. She continued to walk silently, again to not stir Leafy out of her own sleep and make her think some kind of thief was lurking. Her mind contained a handy makeshift map of all the noisy, squeaky points of the floor in Leafy’s home, letting her mask her movements further. Though, one could never be too cautious and Pin avoided putting her full weight into each new step in case she came too close to a spot that squealed.
It made reaching the kitchen a little longer by an extra minute or two but it was a trade-off Pin was willing to make.
As if it wanted to rub it in her face, sleep weighed heavily on her body. She felt it wanting to topple her down as if the cold kitchen tile was a more comfortable sleeping spot than right next to Leafy’s side. “Now I’m tired,” Pin growled to herself rather crossly, feeling that if she decided to go back upstairs again, that heavy blanket of sleepiness would vanish.
Night after night of struggling with that stubborn insomnia and chugging watery teas that she quickly became sick of, Pin found herself at her limit.
Because she knew that it’d never work.
The milk, the teas, all the additional rituals, none of it touched the origin of her insomnia. She didn’t want to say anything to Leafy. She didn’t want to shut down all her suggestions and attempts at helping because she knew how important feeling useful was to her one and only.
And she didn’t want to tip off that anything was wrong or it was something that even she couldn’t handle. Pin could, she just —
— couldn’t tell Leafy.
It’s complicated. The matter is complicated. Leaders sometimes had to keep certain things under wraps and that could include keeping it from their most trusted second-in-command. “I shouldn’t make her worry,” the thumbtack thought to herself as she quietly washed her used cup. “It’s nothing to get so worked up on. I can handle it myself, I just need to help myself a little more. All this no sleep is putting me on edge.” The constant spiraling every night, none of it felt healthy and she felt sure it was the reason behind her mental block. She teetered on the edge and a part of her kicked herself for realizing this fact so late. “All I need is my sleep aid and that’s it. That’s all I’m going to need. Everything’s going to go back to how it is. Everything’s going to be fine.”
If she burned through all the sleep remedies conventional wisdom suggested, the basement had what might work for her now that she moved some of her belongings down there for safekeeping. At least it spared her from slipping out into the night back to her proper abode in Coiny’s home
Not that it felt much different. Leafy didn’t use her basement very much, citing that it was too damp and crowded down there even before Pin ventured in herself. The air down there smelled stale and dusty yet it was cooling to her surface. The steps groaned under her weight, upset with any sort of pressure no matter how delicate her steps were. She held her hand in front of her, waving it until the tips of her fingers brushed the sad, thin excuse of a cord. Pulling it lit up the only light source yet its light bulb was so aged that it couldn’t reach the shelves of stuff the lemon leaf forgot she tossed down here.
Her own belongings only took up two boxes tucked away in the farthest corner of the basement. Pin ignored the one she dedicated solely to wallets; she wasn’t fixing for them at the moment. The other one was more miscellaneous in nature, disorganized strangely enough given Pin’s need for organization.
They were ordered, however, in her own way. A reminder shivered through her body as she reached inside, letting her fingers do the work. Instinct would guide her toward what she needed in these dire times.
Her finger touched against cold, thin metal whose charms tinkled after being prodded. “Eeny.”
Pin moved on and felt the winding, circling patterns on a smooth arm ring. “Meeny.”
She picked up a small ring and ran her fingers against the rows of tiny gemstones weaved within the metal. Without light, she couldn’t tell the difference if it was either a promise ring or a wedding ring. Yet the subtle bumpiness sent another shiver up her arm as she thumbed it a moment longer. “Miny.”
Yet only now did some adrenaline begin to seep into her blood. The nerves at her fingertips buzzed as she picked a pearl bracelet from all the other items. She moved from pearl to pearl, each one making it harder to concentrate than the last.
“You.” The thumbtack pulled the bracelet into her hands. “You’re the one for tonight.”
The pale amber light coated the round, creamy-colored peals in a ghostly hue. The thin gold strand looked sickly under the light and yet, its old shade fascinated Pin all the same. A part of her itched to bring the bracelet near her face to nuzzle it, but she fought back that urge. Scents didn’t last for years and being stored for so long meant it wouldn’t smell very much apart from cobwebs and metal yet the significance lingered in her mind, slowly revealing itself to her.
She played with it, tinkled it around, weaved it between her fingers, and pulled it free, she kept fidgeting with the old bracelet as she came out of the dark basement. Toying with its pearls and rubbing the surfaces, it felt like her restlessness finally accepted the accessory as a proper outlet. “See?” the leader thought to herself as she navigated up the steps to return to her shared bedroom. “Why didn’t I think of this sooner? I’ve made Leafy worry so much when the solution was utterly obvious! I’m going to get a good night’s rest and after a few nights of this, I’ll be a-okay again. Nothing to be stressed about.”
Pin wrapped the bracelet around her wrist as she stood right beside the door, but her initial giddiness quickly slipped from her as soon as she did. In her hands, the accessory felt nice, but wearing it as she should? The feeling she got was much more lackluster.
The next few moments disappeared from her memories. Even the sound of the door’s hinges squeaking couldn’t wrestle her out of her shell as she slipped back into the room, bracelet in hand. She blinked and it felt like she had teleported near the bed. Pin's eyes fell upon the right side - listening to the faint breathing coming from the mound of fuzzy blankets. The cluster of pearls made her palms itch and random parts of her twitched as she stared. Leafy stuck an arm out from underneath her covers, tempting her inner restlessness as Pin stared. She spoke to Pin in a language the leader couldn’t consciously comprehend, but she could not deny the few tugs at her chest.
“It’s only a sleeping aid. I’ll hold it and all my problems will vanish.”
Pin swallowed a bundle of anxiety as she lingered closer to the wrong side of the bed. White noise filled the space at a low volume; Leafy left it on in another attempt to help the leader feel at ease during the night to no avail.
The pearls quietly jingled in the meantime, dangling from her fingers. Tugging. Speaking in utter silence. The leader listened as the white noise masked her breathing.
Pin felt a bit lightheaded as soon as she lifted Leafy's hand. “You… Can hold it.” A thin cut of moonlight was the only light that guided her motions yet it wasn't nearly enough. “You… Can wear it.” The old pearls glimmered here and there, but Pin felt along Leafy's wrist as she fitted the bracelet onto her.
Only for a couple of nights, she reasoned quickly after. Only when Leafy was asleep could she wear it for Pin. “It helps me sleep, that’s all this is, helping me sleep and once I do, everything is going to go back to the way things were. I'll stop.” Might take a few nights. Might take some weeks, but she felt confident she’d make it in the end. Nothing more than that.
(She wouldn’t need to do anything more.)
The goo she shed felt hot against her cold surface. Anticipation trembled through her fingertips. She focused on calming her breathing because every time her attention wandered somewhere else, she came back to hearing her uneven breathing.
Thrilling.
Her heart kept threatening to stop mid-beat. Pin found the fragile bracelet clasp at the end and clicked it together. Shreds of moonlight bounced off the pearls hanging off Leafy’s wrist and only then, did Pin start to retreat back to where she belonged.
Her getting into bed was the moment that stirred Leafy to awareness. “…? Pin, is that you moving around…?” she asked groggily, very much half-aware of her surroundings. She didn’t resist when the leader locked them both into a spooning position as it was a typical arrangement for them to sleep in. Nor did she think much of Pin running her hand along her arms and then seemingly settled with holding on to her left arm. “You need me to make you something?” The lemon leaf attempted to sit up but Pin merely tightened her hold.
“No, no,” whispered Pin right in her ear. She rubbed her face into Leafy’s cheek and ended the affectionate gesture with a quick peck. “I’m fine. I took a little walk to clear my mind, but I’m better now. Nothing to worry about.” She snuggled closer. Leafy purred from the physical contact but the warmth was interrupted by the few beads of cool goo clinging onto her as she brushed near Pin.
“You sure…?” Concern started to seep into her voice and with it, she started to sound more awake.
The red object moved lower, nuzzling her face into her deputy’s shoulder. “Yes, I’m sure,” she answered, “it’s been a bit of a long night, but I assure you, Leafy, it’s nothing to concern yourself with.” She breathed in Leafy’s faint citrus scent and purred in satisfaction as she kept them locked together. “Go back to sleep, my second-in-command. I’m a little tired.”
It seemed to do the trick. Leafy only breathed out a quiet “okay” once exhaustion fell heavy on her again. Sleepiness came for the plant almost immediately, letting Pin enjoy the way her breathing turned shallow and slow once more. She kept her fingers intertwined with the bracelet and her girlfriend’s wrist — Leafy’s pulse thudded weakly and sometimes she worried that the next thud would never come.
But Leafy was here and she was warm. Pin couldn’t resist the sleepy glow the lemon leaf gave off now that she rubbed her thumb against the pearls on the bracelet as it sucked all the restlessness out of her.
She could sleep again.
In a couple of days, maybe a couple of weeks, she won't even need to do this anymore. Promise. The bracelet is and will only be a temporary sleeping aid.