Work Text:
“I have to feed my angel today.” is all Seungmin says before leaving behind Minho in the shitty diner with a half eaten burger, exactly three and a quarter fries and nothing else to prove that he even had been there at all.
Minho eats the leftovers the other had left behind lest he feels the guilt strangle his oesophagus from within and leaves the diner with no second thoughts because Seungmin had already paid. Settled into the driver’s seat of his abomination of a jeep, he wonders the logistics of what had been a date between the two of them. It was a date, right? Seungmin never does anything half baked, doesn’t say things that could mean something else. So it was a date and since it was a date it meant that even if Seungmin wasn’t having his heart inverted at the thought of Minho like Minho was with him, he was still, at the very least, interested.
He presses play on whatever CD is slotted inside and Jisung’s voice fills his ears with the warmth of home. Distantly, he wonders if Jisung and the other two will come back to this rotting town again or if music had truly let them cut all ties with the past.
The thought makes him as happy as it makes him upset.
Minho stays as he is, letting the 3RACHA songs play on shuffle; the angry diss tracks, the hurtful love songs, the screams for help in this brazen world in the form of melodic rap and Chan’s soft vocals in the background, the occasional EDM— there’s nothing those three are afraid to try. It’s what scares most people, the disdain for staying within a box. It’s why the town does not embrace them. It’s why Minho does it instead.
The CD loops and Jisung is singing about his alienated identity again which is a sign Minho should snap out of his trance if his numbed thighs has anything to say about it.
His phone chimes right at that moment then. A flicker of notification, a familiar contact—
Trustfund Baby Kim Seungmin
Sorry for leaving so quickly
It was an emergency situation
My angel needed me
Must be a pet, Minho thinks as he replies it’s alright no issues lol. see u on monday and also thinks that it’s gonna be a while since it’s still Thursday.
Minho had already fed his cats and Jeongin before he had left his house. Seungmin is too much of a prude to have sex on the first date but he is also an agent of chaos and Minho just wanted to be prepared so he had worn his button up shirt with less lints and holes and stole a jean short of Jeongin’s that has him feel self conscious about his scabbed knees. His hair was also brushed into being tamed by Jeongin’s hairbrush and the perfume he meticulously sprayed on was actually one of his mother’s old ones which were kept in a box in his closet.
Stolen confidence of his roommate and the scent of his dead mother had Seungmin smile softly at him under the orange light of the diner Minho chose because he was the one who planned the date but it wasn’t enough to have Seungmin stay after in his jeep. It stings. It sucks.
Seungmin replies back just as Minho revved up his engine to go back home;
Trustfund Baby Kim Seungmin
Will take a while
Dream of me till then <3
;;
And Minho does.
Wakes up in the early hours of the morning, feeling the shame towards his dreams, his thoughts, his desires all while he ignores Jeongin’s third round of alarms that he will sleep through anyway. Time waits for nobody and Jeongin has never cared for its approval.
Minho’s boxers feel ruined. The cavity in his chest even more.
He catches sight of himself in the half shattered full length mirror by the side of his bed and wonders what miracle would it take for him to be titled as an angel.
Soonie meows from where he laid on Minho’s lump of clothes and it feels like an answer, almost.
;;
It’s Monday and Seungmin stands in front of him in a perfectly ironed shirt and a bland looking pair of pants which cost more than any of the kitchen appliances in Minho’s apartment.
He smiles at Minho and Minho thinks back to the time when Seungmin’s teeth used to be caged with metal and bands.
Minho thinks back to when all he knew of Seungmin was his name and his family money.
“The usual but I want a muffin instead of a bagel today,” Seungmin tells him like he’s ordering at a Michelin restaurant and not old man Bang’s hole in a wall cafe’. The only ones here are the soulless uni students with their laptops worth more than their lives, Minho and his co worker and Seungmin in his clearly out of place clothes and presence and smile. They’re in the same space yet in different leagues. “And a crispy chicken sandwich to go later.”
“We’re out of bread for sandwiches,” Minho informs him, even though they’ve been out of bread for sandwiches for a few weeks now. “Can just fry the chicken for you if you fancy some fried chicken. Make a side salad with the veggies and sauce.”
Seungmin’s smile doesn’t waver, “That’ll do.”
And then the only sound that resonates in Minho’s ears is the 90s Britpop playlist his co worker put on and the little ping indicating a transaction done with the swipe of Seungmin’s sleek black card. What an odd place for it to be in use. Minho imagines it in a place like a Louis Vuitton store then immediately retaliates to himself that it isn’t much of Seungmin’s style.
When Minho brings Seungmin’s coffee and muffin to his table, he cannot help what tumbles out of his mouth, “Is your angel alright now?”
Seungmin only observes Minho’s facial features first, as if trying to detect any sign of insincerity. Hilarious, in hindsight, since Minho knows nothing but to be sincere in the face of a world that keeps stripping him bare. In the face of Seungmin, who seeks deep into his bone marrow.
“He is good now, thank you for your concern.” Seungmin says so with a smile that looks tentative but Minho knows it to be one of those sincere smiles of his.
“Of course,” Minho’s voice accidentally turns into a whisper, as if trying to hide this conversation with Seungmin away from the rest of the world. “It seemed— I assumed it was important since you left in the middle of our— uhm, yeah.”
Thom Yorke sings about jigsaws falling into places above the two of them. The midday sun rays make a halo out of Seungmin’s hair. Minho has a fleeting thought about a god.
“Right, our date,” Seungmin hums, smile faltering just for his pinkish lips to contort into a thoughtful pout. “You’re free tomorrow night, hyung?”
“Yeah,” Minho answers immediately and forces himself not to think of Jeongin and the laundry they’re supposed to do together. “Yeah, I am.”
“Good,” Seungmin is smiling again. He seems to never stop smiling. “I’ll see you there.”
;;
There happens to be the old pre-school that was abandoned after a gruesome bloody incident that has less to no one wanting to be around its perimeters.
To Minho, though, this place is as familiar as it can get.
As he follows Seungmin over the overgrown weeds on the once colourful brick road of the place, his eye catches on the ripped out red shirt by a pile of wet leaves, dirt and water and nature’s dumpster surrounding it. It once belonged to Jisung. He wore it when he wrote a song about eating stars so that when he died, his body would be of significance. It was never released but Minho can still hear the echoes of its melody. Chan’s harmonies. Changbin tapping his notebook to create a steady beat.
“Are you going to fuck me before cannibalizing my body out here?” Minho says, mostly as a joke and partly because he cannot let the silence linger.
Seungmin stops walking and turns around to give Minho a onceover. Like he was considering it. Minho feels the buzzes of goosebumps all over his arms and belly.
“No,” he says in the end. “You look tasty though.” and then he turned around to continue walking.
It was close to a compliment from Seungmin so Minho grasps at it, squeezes the words together and swallows it.
As they enter one of the classrooms, the door broken beyond recognition, Minho’s phone buzzes with a text.
Jeonginnie
image.attached
fuck you
Auntie Kim is trying to flirt with a minor ( me ) again and you’re not here
Me
you are 21 years old
Jeonginnie
more like 21 minutes
i hope he gives you blue balls
“My older sister used to attend this school,” Seungmin tells him, seemingly out of nowhere just as Minho was about to tell Jeongin to go get fucked by Auntie Kim. “With the cute yellow and frilly uniforms and all. I have the pictures. She was the cutest second grader.”
A new glimpse of Seungmin. Something that brought him closer to Minho. This town’s rotten flesh is of Seungmin’s as much as it is of Minho’s.
“Where is she now?” Minho asks, hungry for more.
Seungmin smiles as he thumbs at one of the peeling finger paintings on the classroom wall. Minho can vaguely make out Kim S___hyun under the butterfly drawing. The wind rustling the trees violently creates a white noise around them. Summer is seeping into its deathbed. Seungmin’s voice could easily be drowned by the life surrounding them as he spoke.
“Somewhat dead. Probably.”
;;
Later, Seungmin is in the backseat of Minho’s jeep, on his lap but his attention is on Minho’s hands.
“How is it you carry yourself so big but every part of you can be engulfed easily by me?”
Seungmin has a singular palm of Minho’s sandwiched between two of his as he asks this, eyes zeroed onto the clasp of fingers with intense interest. The sun is setting and their date hasn"t started yet. Jeongin is still in the laundromat getting harassed by Auntie Kim and there’s no sign of Seungmin’s angel bothering him yet.
“But you have big muscles. You work out a lot, don’t you? Who’re you protecting with these?” he whispers— curious even though it also sounds taunting, letting go of Minho’s hand to squeeze his biceps. Minho bites his cheek from the inside.
The restaurant they’re supposed to go have dinner together with is 15 minutes away. It’s another diner, less shitty than the last one and Minho said he’d pay.
Seungmin is within reach where Minho could kiss him.
“You should pin me down in your bed, back in your place— when you fuck me tonight.” Seungmin tells him casually, leaning in whilst tilting his head so that his lips come in contact with Minho’s sweaty neck.
“I can fuck you tonight?” comes Minho’s question. As close as Seungmin is right now, it feels like a mirage. Seungmin doesn’t even feel warm from where he is against Minho; it was like holding a porcelain doll.
Seungmin giggles, “You’ve waited for a good while, haven’t you? You’ll receive your reward for your patience.”
That sounds good. The fact that Seungmin has noticed. The fact that he noticed, he thought of it, didn’t get disgusted at Minho but instead is rewarding him.
“Why my place?” Minho whispers, suddenly feeling small despite Seungmin pointedly groping at his hard earned muscles. “Yours would be comfier. Nicer.”
Seungmin lifts his head up and licks Minho’s chin, like a kitten. His hand trails lower to grasp at Minho’s thighs and pulls himself even closer to Minho so that their crotches come in contact with each other. Ratty jeans against designer trousers. Country mouse, city mouse.
“My angel wouldn’t like it. Not now.” he says, thumbing both of Minho’s thighs.
Minho frowns at that. Seungmin merely chuckles before licking the slope of his nose. You look tasty comes to Minho’s mind. Is he up to Seungmin’s expectations with every lick?
“Don’t get upset,” Seungmin says, one hand coming up to pinch Minho’s cheek lightly. “I’m with you right now. I’ll let you have me however you want tonight.”
He’s being comforted like he’s some sulky child. He doesn’t hate it, not when Seungmin starts rotating his hips against Minho’s and starts letting out shocked gasps at the sensations. Minho prides himself in being hung and against Seungmin’s clothed cunt, with every roll of his body against him, it feels like he fits within Minho perfectly.
Seungmin directs Minho’s arms to hold his lower back at one point and shifts around for better friction. He throws his head back, his throat flexes and he stares at Minho like Minho means something to the world for once. Then he shakes a little on Minho’s lap and then goes fully lax just as Minho feels himself come in his pants.
Seungmin looks debauched for once. Less prim looking, far from proper. Minho wants more.
Except—
“Dinner.” Seungmin says before he kisses Minho briefly.
;;
Having dinner with ruined underwear isn’t pleasant but with how Seungmin chose to sit beside Minho instead of the seat parallel to him, keeping a steady hand on Minho’s inner thigh makes it all a lot better.
Orders were taken and drinks were served. Their booth was a bit to the inside of the diner, a bit hidden away from plain sight. Nobody can see— let alone hear the filth Seungmin is creating.
It’s like watching a saint slaughter someone with how Seungmin plays with Minho’s fingers and goes, “Your fingers are small but thick. I have no doubt your motor skills are good enough to please me though.”
Minho cannot speak, doesn"t know how to respond. He’s never put thought into his hands— fingers, besides the basics of what he needs it for. Seungmin seems to be giving them a new purpose. Playing with his fingers, when Minho glances at his face he finds Seungmin looking at them almost hungrily.
“I’m hungry.” Seungmin says.
“Food will be here in ten minutes or so.” Minho replies back, mind buzzing in tune with the fan above them.
“I’m hungry now. ” he emphasises on his words before bringing Minho’s pinky finger and resting it on top of his tongue.
Minho’s breath hitches. Seungmin’s tongue feels heavy underneath his finger and he swirls it around Minho before closing his lips around it and sucking him closer, until his nose hits Minho’s knuckle gently. The push and pull of him suckling on Minho’s pinky goes on for a few seconds before Minho feels the graze of Seungmin’s teeth and then the other is softly biting him.
Then he’s pulling off of him and then smiling at him gently.
Palming at Minho’s half hard erection, he kisses Minho’s ear lobe as if to reward him.
“Good,” he says, squeezing Minho"s hard on slightly. “You’re well behaved. I didn’t know you’d be.”
“You make it easy to be good for.” Minho answers, as honest as the open sky.
Seungmin palms him even more as a response.
“That makes things easier.”
;;
The night is young and Jeongin has been directed to sleep over at his friend’s place for the night even if the younger didn’t seem excited at the prospect.
Seungmin’s laid on Minho’s single bed, legs spread and only a pair of panties covering him from Minho. The shitty strips of blue LED lights washes over him, making him look otherworldly. Godlike. Even in Minho’s bed, Seungmin is leagues away from him.
“C’mon, big boy,” he says though very often, he makes Minho feel little. “Show me how real men fuck.”
Minho has his shirt off so far, the grotesque scar on his abdomen on display. He tugs at his jeans, pulling it down enough with his underwear to pull out his cock.
“Not sure if I’d be up to your preferred standards.” Minho says, mostly to make conversation.
“There are no standards for you to reach,” Seungmin tells him, toying with the waistband of his panties. His feet knock against Minho’s knees to get him moving. “You’re the first.”
Minho feels like all his bronchitis dried out and he’s just uselessly inhaling air that will be of no use. Was it that Minho’s the only one perverted enough to desire Seungmin like this or that Seungmin wants Minho to be the one to take him apart rancidly? Whichever it is, Seungmin’s in this rotten town, in Minho’s messy bed, legs wide open and inviting and asking for it— for Minho.
“Fingers first.” Seungmin reminds him.
Minho presses two fingers against Seungmin’s clothed clit, massaging it through the material and taking in how Seungmin quivers slightly at it.
“You can be meaner— more selfish,” Seungmin whispers but the space they’re in is so quiet that all Minho can hear is Seungmin. “You wanted this for— how long?”
Minho’s fingers slip under the panties. Seungmin gasps softly, bucking up to the press of his fingers.
“Since the day I walked into Bang’s café, yeah?” Seungmin continues, voice quickly getting poisoned and his words somehow turning lethal. “Even when your little friends left you behind, you forgot all about being sad the moment I’m around you. Wanted to bend me over every time you saw me to avoid the fact you have no space in your friends’ lives anymore, yeah? It’s so sad, hyung, you’re so sad. ”
“Not sad,” Minho refutes only that bit. “Not— I’m not. They’re doing what they’re supposed to do. They don’t belong here in this town.” he pushes his middle finger into Seungmin’s gushing cunt.
Seungmin gasps again before replying, “And you do? You think this place can house your presence for any longer?”
“Yeah,” Minho replies mindlessly, he’s mostly focusing on how easily Seungmin’s body accepts him. How clinical cold Seungmin feels even inside as Minho fingers him slowly. “No— maybe, I don’t know.”
“Do you want to leave?”
Minho pushes in his index finger next and Seungmin writhes at the sensation. It’s exhilarating to think that no one has taken Seungmin apart like this before; even more so that Minho is the one to finally do it.
“Do you want to leave?”
He pushes both fingers in harshly, setting an unforgiving pace out of nowhere which has a series of ah ah ah’s being punched out of Seungmin. His cunt glistens under the blue neon light, his skin looks soft enough to bite into and Minho feels a strange level of hunger. The fact that this isn’t one of his fantasy pornplay dreams— but a reality where Minho is two fingers deep in Seungmin who seems to be swimming into the comforter of Minho’s bed.
“Do you want to leave?” Seungmin repeats himself, firm despite his dazed look, cunt tightening itself around Minho’s fingers.
“Eventually.” Minho answers, pace unforgiving as he fucks his fingers into Seungmin.
Seungmin arches beautifully with each growing thrusts but his eyes remain pinned on Minho. It’s unsettling. Minho doesn’t want him to look away. Minho wants to ask what Seungmin sees; masses of muscles, ugly scars, hand brushed hair and eyes searching for non existing salvation. Despite the Frankenstein way of how he was put together, Seungmin tightens around his fingers and kneads at Minho’s shoulder blades with another soft moan.
“Fuck me now,” Seungmin whispers, abdomen flexing as he tries pushing himself away from Minho’s fingers. “You’ve waited for so long. Can you even last?”
“Can,” Minho exhales, pulling his fingers out. “Doesn’t matter— Seungmin—…”
If Minho was to look down at his neglected cock and if the normal lights were turned on, he’d be looking at all the blood in his body rushing into the mass of meat hanging painfully hard between his legs, the curls of his pubes embracing around it. Minho tugs at it twice then guides it towards Seungmin’s cunt.
“Seungmin—” Minho breathes out again. “Seungmin, please—”
“Hm?” Seungmin’s gentle and pure, even though the sweat glistening off of him glimmering under the blue light makes him look anything but. “Poor kitty. Waited so long for this. Go ahead, baby. Be selfish. Use me as you wish.”
Minho tugs at his cock again and the action has the head of it slide momentarily against Seungmin’s clit.
There’s a spark of what feels like dread pooling in his gut. He wants this. He wants Seungmin. He’s wanted Seungmin for so long that even though it was once Jisung or Changbin or Chan in his place before, ever since Seungmin came into Minho’s life it has always been him. Legs spread open. Inviting. Beckoning at him. He wanted a deity in a perverse manner and the said deity is just allowing it to happen. Seungmin still feels incredibly cold despite the tightened muscles and the shiny sweat. Seungmin still feels lightyears away from Minho.
“Kitty, don’t keep me waiting.” It sounds like a warning.
Minho whispers apologies that sound like prayers when he pushes in.
In his head, the sensation is nothing short of something divine; the act of connecting with Seungmin in such a way that they are together as one form, in this moment. In reality, the moment the head of his cock gets sucked into Seungmin’s slippery cunt, he groans roughly just as Seungmin’s breath hitches then it’s like his brain lost all semblance of functioning as he just pushes himself in one go until his pubes are slightly tickling Seungmin’s soft, hairless expanse of skin. In reality, Seungmin lets out a moan that sounds like a scream of terror— Minho is huge and he didn’t prep Seungmin much before he was demanded to fuck him.
It was alright immediately because Seungmin tightens around his cock with incredible amount of force as his scream dilutes into a high pitched whine. His thighs tremble against Minho’s palms. His eyes never left Minho.
“So fucking big, ” Seungmin manages out. “Feels like you’re trying to leave an imprint inside of me. Hah— hyung, you’re such a fucking pervert.”
Minho sets a steady pace, dragging his cock almost all the way out before pushing back in with the same pace. There’s no warmth as one would expect there to be but Minho’s already made an igloo within Seungmin’s coldness.
He doesn’t say anything— the fear of confessing cardinal sins far too big.
“Taking apart a virgin on your big cock— so fucking filthy— hah— ” Minho doesn’t know how steady Seungmin sounds despite looking deeply effected. “Fucking me like an alley whore—”
“‘m not fucking you like a— I’m not— ”
“That’s not what I asked you to do, kitty,” Seungmin’s hands are on Minho’s biceps now, squeezing them firmly. “Make use of yourself and your big cock. Take me apart like you do in your pornographic dreams.”
His dick twitches even though his chest attempts at eating itself. To think that Minho wanted something meaningful and borderline holy whilst all Seungmin desired from him was filth. It was wishful thinking that he could avoid leaving a dirt imprint on Seungmin’s untainted self as well.
“Fuck me like a real man, kitty— ah!”
A yelp makes itself known out of Seungmin as Minho pulls himself back, placing firm palms around Seungmin’s legs before taking them apart and plunging inside his cunt almost violently. It doesn’t stop there, he doesn’t waste a second— setting a pace so animalistic he can feel his brain drooping out of his ears and all he can think of is Seungmin’s cunt tightening around him desperately and the wanton moans being punched out of him. His eyes are heavily lidded even though his gaze remains piercing.
“Filthy fucking pervert,” his words are sharp despite sounding breathless, body bouncing with every thrust Minho delivers. “What a creep— what a fucking creep— you’re so mean fucking some inexperienced guy—”
“Didn’t know you were a virgin,” Minho retaliates, equally breathless. “I didn’t— I didn’t know.”
Seungmin whines loudly at a particular thrust, cunt tightening again as his whole body shudders, “Your desires didn’t die down when you found out, did it? You just got more excited. You’re just brutally defiling me even though I’ve never taken a cock like this before— you’re just a shameless freak.”
“You asked me to— you wanted this—”
“ You wanted this,” Seungmin arches towards him, twisting around lightly. “I’m just playing into your fantasies. Fuck me harder, hyung, touch me more.”
Minho lets out something close to a whine, letting go of Seungmin’s legs to wrap his arms around his waist and angling his hips differently. Like this, Minho was just basically fucking into a fleshlight— Seungmin was just taking it with no resistance.
He feels shame creep deep within the layers of skin as he comes deep inside of Seungmin just as the other finishes all over Minho’s cock as well.
Seungmin looked like an angel when he came; Minho felt like the depth of swamps despite having Seungmin hold him close.
;;
The following morning, Minho was woken up by Seungmin tugging at his bare cock, almost methodically— like he was checking if it still worked.
They were facing each other as they slept, face to face, chest to chest, heart to heart; the whole imagery. Seungmin nuzzles his nose into the crook of Minho’s neck and whispers ‘Can you fuck me like this?’ and Minho obliges. He’d be a fool not to take what Seungmin is so willingly offering.
Seungmin was less mean this time during sex, in the sense that he didn’t speak at all save for whispers of so deep and you’re filling me up so well and ah ah ah’s as Minho thrusted into him in a languid manner. His palm was firm on Seungmin’s ass, keeping him steady as Seungmin held his leg up for better access. The sun rays streamed within the blindfolds, mixing up with the less intense blue light of the LEDs and writhing against Minho’s side, Seungmin seemed alien. Seungmin seemed outlandish. Seungmin seemed like he would never belong to Minho despite being connected to him in the literal sense.
When Seungmin kisses him before they both came together, his chest concaves in so hard that it meets his spinal cord.
;;
There’s a song playing from Jeongin’s shitty bluetooth speaker. Jisung is singing.
The two roommates are engaged in their own activities; Jeongin with his work for his community college assignments and Minho with the bills for the month. There’s a wad of cash on the dining table, courtesy of Jeongin who had recently started delivering pizzas on the side of studying and barely existing within the lines of life. His cheeks are hollow compared to two weeks ago and Minho thinks he should make some kimchi jjigae for dinner some time soon.
“Was the hook up good?” Jeongin asks unceremoniously. Or maybe he took note of how hard Minho was staring at the water bill without actually looking at him.
“It was,” Minho says just as casually. Seungmin went off radar that morning. There’s one more day till Monday. He’s not going to think about it. “We had sex in the morning after too.”
“Is it going to develop into anything more?” Jeongin is looking up from his second hand laptop now; it once used to belong to Minho who’d lent it to Jisung to make his little shitty beats back then. There’s still some discarded audio files in there, tucked in a little folder. Minho wonders if this is Jeongin’s way of keeping them close, still.
“I don’t know.” Minho answers truthfully.
;;
There’s a beautiful man accompanying Seungmin the next day. Beautiful in the sense that Minho felt weirdly not human in his own skin.
He had constellations mapped all over his face, pale hair strands and big brown eyes that seemed to take in Minho in a cat–like manner. Seungmin introduces him as Felix. Felix tells Minho he can call him Yongbok. They both order Seungmin’s usual. His co worker is in the alleyway, smoking despite it not being her break. Minho almost throws up in his mouth as he wacks at the coffee machine to work.
It feels like years passed when the pair stands to leave. Seungmin never stayed for longer than an hour anyway.
Matter of fact, Seungmin never seemed to intend to stay anywhere near Minho for too long.
;;
Trustfund Baby Kim Seungmin
address.linked
9.00PM
nude.jpg
Missing you <3
Minho hates how quickly he feels himself get hard under his loose sweatpants. He can still hear Jeongin meddling with the toaster in hopes for a late lunch/early dinner in the form of a sandwich. His curtains are drawn so there’s no light reflecting on his screen so the image sent of Seungmin with two boney fingers deep inside his cunt was clear enough to haunt Minho underneath his eyelids.
okay, he sends. want me to bring something with me?
Trustfund Baby Kim Seungmin
A toothbrush, perhaps
So you can stay the night
;;
Seungmin is there by the patio as Minho pulls out at the driveway of his less than a mansion, bigger than a regular house place, clad in a white bathrobe.
This part of the town was something Minho avoided not because he was scared but because this was where Changbin first died. Shaky breaths and a bloodied uniform as Chan’s mother took him in with determination fuelled by love. Since then, Minho vowed he’d never allow Changbin to rest anywhere near here where money is considered to fill you up more than a homemade soup bowl.
Minho had, quite in the literal sense, bought his toothbrush only with him, which he tightens in his grasp as he walks towards Seungmin.
Seungmin doesn’t seem to mind it though, more interested in the tank top Minho was wearing which displayed all the cat scratches all over his biceps and shoulder blades. He licks his lips and takes one step forward to meet Minho halfway through.
“Fuck me.” he says, demanding, overwhelming and if all Minho’s senses weren’t occupied by Seungmin before, it is now.
“Here?”
“Yeah,” Seungmin loses his bathrobe tie and drops it to the wooden floor in one go. Stepping into Minho’s space, he palms at Minho’s crotch lazily. “The house to the left is deserted and the ones living on the right are gone for vacation,” he tugs at the waistband of Minho’s shorts, slow pace settling into his actions. “Going back into my room will just waste more time. I want you in me now , kitty.”
Minho feels like he wants it just as bad. “Okay,” he breathes out, tugging his shorts low with his boxers to take out his half hard cock. “Lay on that chair for me?”
Seungmin does and Seungmin opens his legs for Minho and Minho fucks into him with all his heart put into it even though all Seungmin does in return is call him a disgusting freak for driving so late to someone’s house just to fuck them in the patio. Even though Seungmin was the one who asked. Even though Seungmin was the one who asked for more. Even though Seungmin was the one who let out a guttural moan when Minho pressed inside of him in a particular manner.
Uncaring of how loud he— they both get. Minho hopes Felix can hear them from wherever he is inside. Disgusting. Shameless.
Interconnected, just for this moment.
;;
Minho sits parallel to Felix as they have dinner inside.
Seungmin seems satiated as he delicately picks each of the soggy fries off the plate before crunching them in between his pristine white teeth. Minho has taken only two bites of his burger so far. Felix doesn’t have a plate in front of him.
“Had your dinner already?” Minho asks because he’s always been curious by nature.
Felix shakes his head politely, “No. I will have it later.”
“My angel only eats properly when I feed him,” Seungmin says after swallowing a fry. His burger was untouched. “So I have to make sure he’s well fed.”
Something bitter twists itself sharply within an organ of Minho’s. It cannot be his heart; it’s already shredded to its core. Maybe his liver. Maybe the useless appendix. Either way it hurt and the sensation spread through his body till the tips of his fingers he held his burger with.
“Your angel…” Minho mutters, mostly to himself.
Seungmin chuckles goodnaturedly.
“Hey, kitty. Felix and I don’t fuck, if that’s what you’re thinking. I just feed him so he doesn’t die. That’s all it is. He’s just my angel, nothing more.”
Minho thinks over his words as he takes a look at Felix who was already looking back at him. Felix was shorter than Minho. His hands were the same size as Minho’s but it was thin like the rest of his body frame unlike Minho’s thick, hard working ones. He looked like he could barely hold the chair he was sitting on. There’s some sick sort of glee spreading within Minho’s chest. Felix can’t do what Minho can. Felix can’t be what Minho is to Seungmin.
“Okay.” Minho says because there’s simply nothing else to say.
Silence fills at the dining table until Felix whispers;
“When will Hyunjin be back?”
;;
Seungmin does not answer Felix.
He just simply finishes his fries, leaves his burger untouched and gets up. This was supposedly a gesture to have Felix stand up right afterwards as well which had Minho standing up too, instinctively. Seungmin only looks at Minho to say ‘Come watch me feed Felix.’ before walking out of the dining area, Felix following him wordlessly.
Minho stares at the patty of his half eaten burger. He can’t tell if there’s worms moving on the meat or if it was breathing on its own like an organ. He couldn’t bear the sight of it.
He follows Seungmin and Felix.
When he entered the room they had gone in, Seungmin’s bathrobe was loosened again but only, this time, his chest was exposed as he sat by the edge of the bed, Felix by his side. Minho does not know where he belongs, in this room or in Seungmin’s presence.
“Take a close look at what we do, kitty,” Seungmin calls out to Minho but doesn’t spare a glance in his direction. Minho wants him to. “How I feed Felix and my other angels.”
The newfound information of Seungmin having other angels doesn’t even process in his mind before the scene unfolds in front of him.
Seungmin’s chest, right where his heart is placed, starts morphing into some dark, black coloured mass. It was like someone plucked a blackhole out of the space and sewed it over Seungmin’s unmarked skin. The blackhole on his chest swirls. If Minho focuses on quieting his mind, he can hear it sing. But all his focus is on how Felix leans in and places the pillowy looking pink lips of his over the blackhole on Seungmin’s chest. The hole is far too large compared to Felix’s small mouth and in some muted horror, Minho watches the tip of his nose sink inside the hole.
Then, Felix sucks in whatever it is brimming inside the hole on Seungmin’s chest.
Seungmin doesn’t react. It must not be stimulating then. Seungmin always reacts to Minho’s touches. Even if he calls Minho a freak, a disgusting pervert, a shameless creep, he always moans louder, arches harder and whines unrelentlessly with each touch. This means nothing like that, Felix is just sucking in whatever mass is inside of Seungmin and Seungmin feels nothing.
Minutes pass and the soles of Minho’s feet start to numb. Felix is still feeding off of Seungmin. Seungmin is still not sparing a glance at Minho.
And then he stops, with a loud slobbery smack. It sounds disgusting but there’s no mess on Felix’s face. The hole on Seungmin’s chest keeps swirling as he takes a deep breath. Felix looks dazed like he just got rebirthed fresh, memories of a past life erased.
“Get out, Felix,” Seungmin says softly, nothing short of a lullaby. “I need to take what’s mine for tonight.”
“Seungmin—” Felix startles with a gasp. “Seungmin— what about Hyunjin— you said that—”
“ Felix. ”
Felix goes limp without ever getting the chance to thrash out. Eyes to the ground, compliant. The hole swirls. Minho’s ears get clogged by white noise. It hurts. He wants Felix gone. He wants Felix to stay as well. He looks so scared. The same expression Jisung would wear when the teacher would threaten to file a complaint to his mom about his late to no submissions. But he wants Seungmin to himself too. He wants Felix gone also because there’s so much of Jisung right now in the tiny frame that makes up Felix.
Minho doesn’t get to say anything as Felix walks past him, shutting the door behind him. There’s a split image of Jisung, in the backseat of Chan’s rundown car— the laptop bag filled with their tacky equipment and songs and a box of cheesecake by his side. Chan whispered something Minho cannot recall anymore. Changbin refused to meet his eyes.
Minho has let so many people walk past him. It started with a faceless father; ended with the dust left behind by Chan’s car as the three of them left the rotting town for Seoul.
“Kitty, come here.”
Seungmin remains in front of him. He’s always facing him up front. No hidden expressions. Minho walks up to him and lets himself get tugged down to lay on the bed by Seungmin. His feet still reached the ground in this position, the back of his knees snugly fit to the edge of the bed and Seungmin swung one leg over him to straddle him. Already pulling his cock out from his pants, already tugging at it to bring it to hardness.
The hole still swirls on Seungmin’s chest and Minho swears he can feel a breeze from it through the material of his shirt.
The bathrobe draped around Seungmin’s body uselessly, what’s needed to be covered is on display for Minho to see anyway, like he’s had since that second date. Minho remembers how annoyed Jeongin was at the prospect of dealing with Auntie Kim and then having to crash at Beomgyu’s couch for the night on short notice. Minho remembers how he was supposed to buy groceries to make kimchi jjigae for Jeongin tonight but forgot all about it the moment he read Seungmin’s text. Was that sandwich even enough to satiate Jeongin’s hunger? Will Jeongin ever move on and get out of the time loop he trapped within himself and his grief? Does Chan still think of Minho? Does Jisung still write songs about him? Does Changbin still carry that rusty pendant Minho gave to him, one that used to belong to his mother? Is there a small space within Seungmin, beneath all this clinical coldness that emits warmth?
Seungmin directs Minho’s fingers to his cunt and plunges them in with a satisfied moan. Still cold.
“You’re so good to me, kitty.” Seungmin uses Minho’s fingers like a little toy to please himself with.
Minho still has one question on his mind, “Who’s Hyunjin?”
Seungmin doesn’t pause his actions like Minho thought he would. Instead, he pushes Minho’s fingers in deep until his knuckles meet the skin of Seungmin’s inner thighs.
“You,” he says, clenching around Minho’s fingers. “He was supposed to be you. He was supposed to be with me forever. Always. Not as my angel but as my Hyunjin. He was supposed to fuck me, take me apart, taint me; he was supposed to be the evil to my good. The impurity against my purity. Mine.”
Seungmin pulls Minho’s fingers out of himself and grasps at Minho’s cock, toying with the slit by his head. Minho’s thighs quiver, there’s yet another organ within him in immense pain.
“Is he dead?” Minho asks, voice dropped to a whisper. The hole on Seungmin’s chest is closer to his face now, he can hear the telltales of a song— there’s a poem about love accompanied by violins echoing from it.
Seungmin smiles. He’s always smiling. Minho likes his corrected teeth; he looks more human that way despite the swirling hole on his chest.
“It’d be better if he was.”
;;
The lights in Seungmin’s room makes it feel like Minho’s back in the hospital again, begging the doctors to bring a dead woman back to life.
When he squints and shuts his eyes, he can still feel the harsh glare of those white tube lights. He can’t escape it. Seungmin has his arm draped over Minho’s abdomen, the scar looking gruesome next to Seungmin’s flawless skin. He can’t escape it.
“Hyunjin did not die,” Seungmin starts after several moments of silence once after Minho had flipped their position over and proceeded to fuck Seungmin like he meant nothing. Liar. “He left. He was supposed to stay with me forever, fulfil his duty— be my shadow, my pleasure, my Hyunjin.”
Minho opens his eyes again. The lights are as blinding as ever. Maybe this is what true angels are like; blinding tube lights hung over an old house ceiling. This was probably what greeted Minho’s mother before death.
“He’s out there— somewhere. He said he wanted to live by the beach, so maybe he’s in Busan. Or he’s in Seoul, mingling amongst humans and still trying to convince himself he’s one too.”
If Minho squints his eyes just about right he can create the image of the shitty box dye blonde hair Chan had before. Minho was the only one who genuinely liked it. Chan whispered several happy thank you’s to him once he expressed it.
“I can’t bring him back to me because he simply doesn’t want to come back. Isn’t it a fickle thing, faith? You can’t force someone to find salvation in you. You can’t force someone to love you.”
Minho breathes in sharply through his nose. It sends ripples across the mirage of Chan he had built within the light.
“Kitty. Hyung,” Seungmin uses one hand to grab Minho’s chin gently and direct his gaze from the light to his eyes. “You love me, right?”
“Of course I do.” This, Minho was sure of. It has been two winters since Minho had realised this.
“You came to me in your own accordance,” Seungmin traces Minho’s bottom lip with an expression akin to amazement. “You wanted me first. You asked me if I was free that night, to go on a date. You came to me when I asked you for a second date. You fucked me in your bed, you took my virginity. And you keep coming back— because you want me, right?”
Your arms; my home; my breath; my God, Jisung once wrote in Minho’s math textbook. ‘Sounds cool, right?’ he said. ‘To be devoted to someone like they’re your god.’
“You want me. Right, hyung?”
In this moment, for once, Seungmin sounds incredibly small. It gives him a sense of illusion that Minho could protect Seungmin from the evil. Even if the evil is within Seungmin, probably.
“I want you,” Minho breathes out, looking at Seungmin’s eyes, quivering like it never had before. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Seungmin.”
“You can’t leave me,” Seungmin pushes his face closer to Minho. His breath creates slight condensation against Minho’s face. “You can’t. You just can’t. I waited for too long to see if you were sincere. And you are. I will kill you myself if you ever change your mind. I won’t be as complacent with you as I am with Hyunjin.”
Minho leans in and kisses Seungmin softly.
Seungmin breaks it, only to say, “You staying over, yeah? You brought your toothbrush after all.”
The ingredients of a kimchi jjigae he might never be able to make seeping out of his mind as he gets indulged with another kiss.
Goodbye, my baby, Changbin is the one singing in the echoes of his brain. One last time. Till the end of forever. I’ll see you when the sun embraces you again.
;;
Jeonginnie
damn how long is this hookup gonna take
by the way if the toaster doesnt work even after the pre slap youre supposed to give it its not on me
Jeonginnie
where’s hannie hyung’s mixtape cd? is it in your jeep?
it’s thundering right now so i wanted to put it on TT
Jeonginnie
hyung
how long are you going to be with him?
at least give me a time frame or something
you said you wouldnt go anywhere i cant follow
Jeonginnie
hyung you promised
please just reply
just once
Jeonginnie
im sorry you had to take care of me since those three left okay
im sorry i never told you how guilty i felt leeching off of you
im sorry that i kept telling you i wanted to die even though you probably felt the same way too
im really sorry about the toaster i broke too
i know it was expensive, you worked hard to get it
i’ll get another part time job and gift one for you instead
just come back please
Jeonginnie
soonie just scratched me
cant you come clean the wound for me
Jeonginnie
i don’t know what to do
i don’t know what to do anymore hyung what am i gonna do where are you hyung where did you go
Jeonginnie
i’m sorry
i hope you’re happier with him hyung i’m sorry
;;
The television plays an interview of some sort; some new rising trio of musicians, bright eyed, bright smiles and high spirits.
Felix sits by the couch, near Seungmin’s feet. Already fed for the night. There’s another person, hair strewn across their face as they mumble— ‘Praise my saviour. Praise my saviour. Praise my saviour.’ and there’s about a few people within the room, mindlessly working around, doing tasks, all dull eyed, all lifeless.
‘How does it feel to have your music recognized by millions of people— having started from the literal bottom?’
Minho has his head on Seungmin’s shoulder blade. The sharp edge of his bone digs into his cheeks but he is comfortable. Seungmin has his hands full with an album in hand. Minho glances down and sees a picture of a cute looking preschooler, Kim Seohyun written beneath it with a thin marker.
‘We did not expect this at all. It was just me, Changbin and Hannie for the longest time, making music for ourselves instead of paying attention to school, ahaha!’
Seungmin flips the page and there’s another group of polaroids stuck onto the expanse of both pages.
Midnight black hair. Curled up at the ends. Fragile looking elastic bead bracelets and paint smeared shirts. Crescent shaped eyes. Full lips. A mole under the right eye. An indescribable ocean of feelings within those eyes always staring at something or someone behind the camera.
‘Really? It must have been difficult to make music just for the three of you, wasn’t it, Chris?’
‘I mean, yeah? But also, no. We had our other friends. This tiny little pipsqueak— he used to eat sand, that menace! He thought we were world star musicians back then already. Our first dedicated fan, technically.’
Page flipped.
Felix is smiling. His cheeks are fuller. There’s a polaroid of him braiding Hyunjin’s hair. Hyunjin is smiling at Felix and not what’s behind the camera.
Minho feels Seungmin’s hands tremble slightly and snakes his own palms over it, squeezing it lightly. It’s hard to pay attention to the television now, not that he was in the first place. Seungmin needs him. That’s why he’s here. Because the angels need Seungmin to feed off from and Seungmin needs Minho to do the same with.
‘We also had another special friend. He basically raised us— even though I’m a year older than him. He believed in us when nobody else did. He was the one who pushed us to basically move to Seoul and start making music more seriously. Y’know, sending tracks to companies and doing underground gigs.’
Page flip.
A really old withered image of a family. The mother; the father; the daughter; the son.
A message beneath it— become a vessel for salvation. Sacrifice the son. Sacrifice the son. Sacrifice the son.
‘You keep in touch with that friend of yours, Chris?’
‘No… no we don’t. We lost contact— the three of us never got to go back to our hometown. Maybe we should— what do you think, Hannie?’
‘I think Jeonginnie would become all snotty at the sight of us.’
‘He’s talking about the sand eating brat. He must be all grown up now. Probably taller than Changbin.’
‘Ha ha, so funny. Truly comedic. A real gag.’
Page flip.
A class photo from middle school. Minho’s eyes latch onto a familiar figure with big cheeks and round eyes and flimsy glasses. Next to the boy was Seungmin, younger and yet to be fed to angels. Neat in his prim and proper uniform.
‘Jokes aside, though, we should make plans to head back. Maybe they’ll come across this interview— both Jeonginnie and Minho and they’ll be like ‘Look at the galls of this guy here!’ and probably laugh at something embarrassing I’ve done in high school.’
‘I’d like to eat Minho hyung’s ramen again. He somehow manages to make instant ramen taste godly.’
‘Shit, Changbin hyung! You just reminded me of a dormant memory— hey, Minho hyung— if you’re watching this, we are coming back, yeah? It’s been a while. Don’t be too upset. Let’s just make up for everything over those instant ramens and play together again.’
Page flip.
A picture of Minho, clad in a wedding dress. His hair was cut too short and there was a dark, magenta coloured lipstick smeared haphazardly all over his mouth.
He was grinning brightly, though. At whoever was behind the camera.
‘We miss you, Minho. We’ll see you soon again. We promise.’
;;
“Hey! Han Jisung, right?”
“Ummm, who are you? I don’t know you.”
“I’m Kim Seungmin from class 3-B! We are class neighbours!”
“Uh, okay?”
“Who is that older friend of yours?”
“Hah? You mean Minho hyung? He’s my neighbour. My actual neighbour, not just a class one.”
“Wow. He seems so cool!”
“He is. But he won’t bother with you. You’re not cool enough for him.”
“I’m not?”
“Sorry, Kim Seungmin. Maybe when you’re older he will talk to you. Right now, you’re just a baby.”
“I just have to grow older to be noticed by him?”
“And be cooler. Like, outstanding. Super awesome.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll try my best. I want to be Minho hyung’s friend too!”
“He’s my Minho hyung. You can call him that when you reach your coolness level.”
“Okay. Sorry. Are you leaving now?”
“Yes. Uh. Bye, Seungmin.”
“Bye, Jisung! Thank you for the help!”
;;
Seungmin kisses him like he’s trying to devour him, underneath the harsh white lights.
“ My Minho hyung.” he whispers against Minho’s lips.