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Day 2- Mutual Masturbation
“Look, all I’m saying is that Freddy would win in a fight, hands down.”
Jan laughed as he stumbled through the living room, waving a beer around with his right hand and wildly gesticulating with his left.
“And what basis do you have for a claim so stupid?”
Jørn rolled his eyes, settling back into the couch as his own beers began to overtake him, making him feel slightly sleepy despite how much he wanted to argue the hypothetical at hand.
It was movie night in the Kråkstad house, or at least it was for Jan and Jørn who had overtaken the living room in order to spend the night drinking beers, smoking weed and watching the shittiest movies that they could rent.
After watching both their picks for the night of B grade horror shlock, the two became enveloped in a debate about the horror greats as the credits to “I Spit On Your Grave” rolled. Jan was under the impression that Freddy Krueger would win in a fight against Jason Voorhees; or could win against any character for that matter. While, on the other hand, Jørn could concede that Freddy was pretty powerful, but he was far too stubborn to let Jan win this battle straight out the gate.
“Lets see here…”
Jan began whilst counting on his fingers
“First off, he has knives for fingers. There’s no chance he’d ever drop the weapon he was holding since he literally wears it. So, he has that over Jason. Second, he’s practically unkillable. Even when it looked like Nancy defeated him, he came back, killed her and her mom. And third, he can literally infiltrate people’s dreams and kill them while they’re in their most defenseless state.”
Jan explained, shaking his head as he paced back and forth in front of the television; acting as if this was a complicated court case and not just a dumb argument about who the strongest horror villain was.
“Yeah, but Jason doesn’t even like, need to sleep, so there’s no way Freddy would ever get to him”
Jørn responded sleepily as he eyed Jan from where he laid down on the worn out couch.
“Bullshit! You saw him walk around that party in the real world in the second movie!”
“Yeah, but that movie was like super gay, dude”
The pair laughed as Jan’s excited pacing came to a halt, and he came to stop in front of the little crate of VHS tapes they kept to the side of the TV. Squatting down and searching through the piles of bootleg movies, Jan came across the usual shitty horror and pseudo-snuff the gang all watched together from time to time. Nothing too out of the ordinary seemed to reside in the box. That was, of course, until he came across a tape labeled “Scrambled Porn-The good shit!”
Turning back to Jørn, holding the tape up where he could barely see the hastily scribbled title in the glow of the TV, and grinning like a hyena, he said
“Did you make this?”
Jørn, who could just barely make out the key word “porn” in the title, sat upright upon reading it, snatching the tape out of Jan’s hand and studying it closely.
After a moment of consideration he looked back up, handing the tape back to Jan and shaking his head, looking completely puzzled.
“Nope, not me. I can’t even tell who’s handwriting that is…gonna be real, I don’t think I know what any of the guys write like to be honest”
Jørn laughed as Jan laughed alongside him, popping the tape in without a word. Despite not saying yes to Jan’s pick, it was clear both boys wanted to watch it. Who wouldn’t? After all, it claimed it was “the good shit”.
Settling back into the couch whilst making room for Jan, Jørn stared intently at the screen, hoping the title didn’t indicate it was truly scrambled porn like what you might see at 2 am if the signal caught it just right. But honestly, he was down for anything that wasn’t another lame horror movie with less than stellar special effects.
Much to their luck, the title did not indicate porn comprised of a mess of blurry pixels, but instead a variety pack of porn scenes.
The first one began slow, with a considerable amount of foreplay. It felt like some classy, skinemax shit. Hell, it was probably recorded off there or something like that.
The scene opened on a shot of a man and a woman in a bedroom. The layout of the place and the open windows showing a cityscape outside suggested it was an apartment, though it was clear from the carefully placed red and blue lighting that it was a porn set. Nobody’s apartment just looks like that.
Neither party spoke as they began to undress each other, kissing each new inch of skin revealed by lack of clothing. Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, the two began to fuck, or make love rather, considering the sensuality of the whole scene and the accompanying piano track in the background. It was cheesy with a capital C, making the boys snicker in their seats as they watched on.
Neither could really deny, however, that they weren't interested in what they were seeing. The girl was hot, an attractive blonde and she made these sweet little noises each time the man thrust inside of her.
Eventually, after climaxing inside her, the scene abruptly ended as the tape stuttered, tracking lines fizzling in and out before the next scene began.
The next one was way more straight to the point as it began in the middle of sex. Moans filled the small living room as two women, one blonde, one brunette, ate each other out on a rather uncomfortable looking leather couch.
“Yeah, finally, something worth watching”
Jan exhaled through his nose, laughing as he trained his eyes on the screen. He didn’t look at Jørn as he spoke, but Jørn looked to him, taking note of the light pink color dusting his bandmate’s cheeks before turning back to the screen himself, idly sipping the rest of a beer he found on the table. Whether it was Jan’s or his own, he didn’t know and didn’t care.
That was the great thing about Jan and Jørn's friendship. Neither cared if they drank each other’s beer, stole each other's clothes or slept in each other's beds. They were so close they were practically interconnected. One in the same.
This closeness, however, was tested the moment Jørn heard the unmistakable sound of Jan’s zipper opening. Sneaking a sideways glance over to where his friend was sitting, Jørn could see Jan easing his zipper down and slipping a hand into his pants, palming himself through his underwear.
Not wanting to make things awkward, Jørn stared forward once more, trying to ignore the little groans and inhalations of breath his friend was making by his side.
Just as he thought he was getting used to the extra set of soft moans to his left, he was brought out of the illusion by Jan’s voice, coming out rough and gravely, coated with lust.
“They’re super fucking hot, aren’t they?”
Obviously. It was clear to anyone who had a brain and dug chicks that they were hot. Hell, even straight girls could probably appreciate the objective model-like qualities the two girls had. Jørn could respond to that, have the usual back and forth banter like he did with the drummer nearly every day, but it felt different now. Not with what he knew Jan was doing beside him, that is. After a moment of pained silence, Jan spoke again.
“It’s okay, man. If you’re turned on too, you can like…do it too…”
Jan said, causing Jørn to quickly dart his head in Jan’s direction, seeing his bandmates' lidded eyes carefully trained on Jørn's pants, where a small, continually growing tent was being pitched. He knew he was hard, he could tell he was from the moment the second porno began. But, unlike Jan he was either not as bold or instead too chickenshit to do anything about it.
He considered it for a moment; doing an act as intimate as this in front of his best friend. He supposed it might be weird, touching himself in a way he’s only done alone or with a partner next to a friend he’s had for years. However, when it came down to it, he supposed it would just be another bullet point in the list of things that made Jan and Jørn close.
Another moment of silence passed by before Jørn pulled down his own zipper, settling a hand into his pants. Jørn could swear he heard a gasp the moment he did so from Jan, but he wasn’t looking at him so he supposed it could have been a reaction from something he did to himself, or from something he saw on screen.
The scene continued as the two fisted themselves in relative silence, save for the sounds of the TV, as well as a few barely bitten back moans and sighs from the two men watching. Eventually, just as things were getting good and the brunette was fucking the blonde with a strapon, the scene abruptly stuttered and phased out into a different one again, causing Jan to growl out an upset groan.
“Bullshit…I was so close”
Despite his annoyance, Jan made no clear attempts to stop touching himself as the new scene came into view; or lack thereof in this case. The scene was dimly lit. It could have been in a living room, bedroom, bathroom, it wasn’t exactly made clear by the lack of lighting. The two figures in this scene were cloaked in shadow, features indiscernible to the static of the camera.
The bandmates assumed once again that these were two girls, judging by the long hair seen in their silhouettes; one of the few things they could make out amongst the visual fog. One might even assume that it was still the two girls from the last video, but that was probably not the case since that one was filmed in much better quality than this one. This one almost appeared to be some sort of amateur film shot with a consumer grade VHS camera.
Nonetheless, it was enough for the boys to keep up their excitement, continuing to thrust into their hands, picking up speed as one of the figures on screen repeatedly thrust into the other, holding them over some sort of surface and fucking them from behind.
Both Jan and Jørn knew they wouldn’t last long, despite the low quality and lack of noise from the subjects on screen. All that was heard from the TV was the creaking of floorboards and soft breathing that only got faster as the scene progressed. That was, of course, until they heard one of the people on screen let out a breathy, low pitched groan while the other growled deep in their throat.
The two mystery figures. They were both guys. But it was too late.
“F-Fuck shit, no!”
Jan moaned out, eyes wide as he suddenly stilled, back arching slightly as he spilled over into his fist.
Jørn was quick to follow, not saying a word but just gasping upon his own realization of the makeshift pornstars genders. Seeing white as he rode his climax out in one of the most confused states he’s been in in his life.
Eventually, as the two came down from their high and the stars began to fade from the corners of their vision, Jørn wordlessly reached over, handing Jan the tissue box from the table beside him, which Jan took a few of, beginning to clean himself up as Jørn did the same.
Jørn and Jan didn’t know if the other would want to speak about this incident ever again, but both of them secretly wished the other would.