Chapter Text
Jing Yuan liked his home. It was specious, on a bigger side, overlooking most of the capital city. He shared it with Jingliu and Baiheng, but the garden was his domain. When he first moved in here, he planted a ginkgo tree in the middle of the seating area, to provide shade and show the passage of time. Right now it was already taller than him, golden leaves shimmering in the daylight. Time really flies, in a blink of an eye. He also considered plating some bonsai trees in pots, but he didn’t have time for that just yet. Maybe in the near future. Cutting through the lotus pond, he noticed a familiar figure standing on the edge of the garden, overlooking everything that happened below it. She rarely visited the garden, preferring to stay in the training grounds on the other side of the house. He thought that she would be waiting for him there, but it seemed like she had other plans.
“I heard that borisin started to attack Luofu too” Jingliu didn’t look at him as she spoke, her voice calm and cool. Her eyes swept over the bustling road of Aurum Alley in the distance, without much interest or care. People here were unaffected, maybe even unaware of the tragedy that happened on the other side of the ship. No one stopped to mourn the loss of those village people or the Cloud Knights - life kept pushing forward.
“Yes. This war is getting out of hand” Jing Yuan nodded. “We got rid of this pack, but there is no saying if a new one will be trying to infiltrate Luofu” Luofu wasn’t this important in this war. The Foxian population here was sparse, greatly overshadowed by the Xianzhou natives. It was strange for them to attack here, but maybe it was another declaration of war.
“For now, it will be calm. But there will be a time when we’ll have to aid others on the main front” Jingliu shook her head, her gaze sweeping across another part of the city.
“Once this time comes, we’ll be prepared” Jing Yuan assured her, but nearly bent in half a second later, as there was a blow delivered to his ribs, right above his wounds.
“Not so prepared, if you’ll keep getting injured like that” she said cooly, finally looking at him with raised brow. Honestly, Jing Yuan wondered why he didn’t expect that. At least she wasn’t trying to actively hurt him by targeting the wounds directly. Jingliu looked really unimpressed as he straightened up and turned back around. “Dan Feng wanted to talk to you, A-Heng too” she added after a second.
“Do you know what this is about?” but his master didn’t bother with answering anymore. Jing Yuan sighed. He’ll really need some rest after all of this. Returning home from the mission was never particularly easy, but this time it seemed to be even harder.
Finding Dan Feng was never straightforward. The High Elder always seemed to be where he was least expected. Was he in Scalegorge Waterscape? Or maybe in his lover’s forge? Jing Yuan only knew that he left the Alchemy Commission by the time he was treated, so there was at least one place less to look for him. He also considered postponing meeting with the healer to eat something, but he wasn’t sure if it would be safe for him. He was probably in for quite a lecture anyway. Despite being an adult and right hand man of the general, he was still treated slightly like a child. But he couldn’t exactly blame them - he was technically the youngest member of High Cloud Quintet. Even Yingxing was older than him by four years, a ridiculously small number in comparison to their lifespans. Well, most of their lifespans.
It turned out that he didn’t have to search far for him. Dan Feng was sitting in their kitchen, mauling, due to the lack of better word for that, whatever herbs were in that poor mortar. Seems like the dinner really will have to wait for this production to be over. Jing Yuan never really understood why Dan Feng sometimes chose to make his medicines in home kitchens instead of his study in the Alchemy Commission. He had way more equipment and materials over there, instead he left behind him a trail of dirty sinks and unusable cutting boards.
“You wanted to talk to me” Jing Yuan sat next to the Vidyadhara, knowing that there was no more running away from the lecture that awaited him. Dan Feng barely looked at him.
“I did, indeed. I have two things to talk about with you” he answered coolly, adding the freshly made paste to whatever was in the bowl next to him with precision. That meant that he was trying not to rip Jing Yuan's head clean off his shoulders.
“I know, I should not go so long with my wounds untreated” he repeated the same thing he always said, bowing slightly. Sometimes it worked, rarely, but it at least counted as self defence. They had this conversation way too many times over the years they had known each other.
“No, this time we have a different topic of discussion” finally Dan Feng looked at him, pupils narrowed into lines so thin that they were barely visible. So, three, two, one- “Have you completely lost your mind back there?!” There it was. “I understand you waiting for treatment, but not handing the kid over to the healers the second you had any in sight, was insanity even for you. Do you have any idea how much you could have endangered his life? You were lucky that he didn’t have any internal injuries, because that would end in disaster!”
Jing Yuan found himself dumbfounded. This was not the topic he was expecting, not at all. Has Dan Feng really cared so much about the kid he brought here?
“I did it, because the kid barely trusted me. He just lost everything, I didn’t want to stress him more” he unfortunately blurted out, before realising he should have stayed silent. Because Dan Feng looked at him with pure murder in his eyes.
An hour. That was how long the High Elder was screaming, shrieking even, at him about the importance of care for children and how many things could have gone wrong. Many curses have fallen upon his name, many jabs aimed at his forehead and injured arm. But Jing Yuan's head was just buzzing, still focused on one information in particular - Dan Feng really did tend to the child himself and was making a really big deal out of this whole thing. He made the child important.
“Where is he right now?” he rasped out as soon as Dan Feng looked done with his lecture. And to his surprise the Vidyadhara sighed and his gaze softened.
“He's sleeping in a guest room, the closest one to your bedroom. Baifeng insisted on that one, so that you'd hear if he woke up in the middle of the night” he stated calmly, using the tone Jing Yuan heard him use with many patients before. “Kid has a lot of bruises, but he thankfully didn't lose too much blood. His left leg is broken, but you did a good job securing it in place. His right ankle was twisted, but it started healing nicely. But I have to wait for him to wake up to assess the psychological damage” he paused here for a second, hesitant, before looking straight in Jing Yuan's eyes. “You know that this… can break him, don't you?” he said carefully.
Will the kid still be a kid after all of this? Will he have any childhood at all? Yes, Jing Yuan knew that this could be devastating for such a young mind and even lead to premature mara strike in the future. The next few months and years will be crucial for his future.
“I know. I just hope he'll be strong enough” he nodded. Dan Feng sighed again, before turning his eyes away.
“I left all the instructions with medications on the nightstand. I'll come back tomorrow, around the same time”
Jing Yuan only watched as Dan Feng packed some of the herbs and left, leaving all this mess behind. He seemed… distracted. Or maybe it was only his own tiredness.
Guest room, closest to his own. It was actually down the same hallway, as he chose a bedroom far away from Jingliu's and Baiheng's. He passed it every day on the way to the bathroom.
His hand lingered on the wood, before he finally opened the door and entered.
The room was dim as the curtains blocked the daylight, and it smelled of medicinal herbs. It was a guest room, so there wasn’t much to look at - just a bed, a nightstand and a wardrobe. The nightstand was full of different small jars, boxes and bowls now, filled with various salves and ointments, among them scattered halfly rolled up bandages. A sight Jing Yuan had seen various times when any of them had gotten seriously injured. His heart sank a little at that, but he knew the kid was in good hands.
For once the bed was occupied - among way too big sheets laid Yanqing, so small in this enormous bed. He was sleeping soundly, finally clean and safe. He was given new clothes, way too big for him, in which Jing Yuan recognized his own old training clothes. He had no idea that Jingliu kept those around. This was both an adorable and sad sight. Jing Yuan wished that they had met under different circumstances.
There was also another thing on the bed. Curled up by the boy’s stomach was an orange tabby with the most smug expression there could have been on a cat.
“Found yourself a new person to warm?” Jing Yuan chuckled, picking up the cat. He gave him the smallest meow of protest, looking at him with mild irritation. “You know that Dan Feng will not be happy if he’ll find you sleeping next to his patients. Off you go” he placed the cat outside of the room, but he only looked at him as if he was an idiot and just marched back inside. There he once again climbed onto the bed, where he looked at Jing Yuan defiantly and started purring loudly. Honestly, the audacity.
Another three tries to get the furry impostor out of the room ended exactly the same, so Jing Yuan just gave up. If Dan Feng wants to keep the cats out of his patients rooms, he could do it himself. It was just a risk of bringing anyone into their home - even Jingliu couldn’t escape the little fluffy monsters.
“Content, are we?” the cat replied with a really loud purr and a yawn, before once again curling into a tight ball. He really hoped that the kid didn’t have a cat allergy.
“Ah, there you are!” Baifeng suddenly peeked through the door, smiling widely. She was cheerful, as always. Jing Yuan wondered if she knew about the mission beforehand. But he pushed that thought aside quickly. There was no need to think about what had already happened - he couldn't change it anyway. “Hello, A-Yuan. You want to eat first or take a bath? I got us some takeout since A-Feng decided to ruin our kitchen”
“Hi, Bai-jie. I should…” Jing Yuan started, but was quickly waved away by the foxian.
“Oh, don’t worry. Pao will watch over him, won’t you? Yes, you will~” Baiheng cooed at the cat as he raised his head to receive chin scratches. Jing Yuan raised a brow as the cat once again looked at him smugly, as if he won something. Finally Baiheng looked at him once again and smiled faintly, as she brushed his hair back. “You need some rest, A-Yuan. The kid will not wake up anytime soon” she cupped his cheek, tracing the dark circles under his eyes with a thumb. He barely slept last night as they made their way back to the capital. He knew what he looked like.
“Alright” he finally agreed. He almost made it through the door, when Baiheng spoke up again, softly.
“By the way, what’s his name?”
“Yanqing” Jing Yuan once again looked at the boy. “His name is Yanqing”
Baiheng smiled at him and he smiled back.
After so many hours of travel and fight, letting his uniform fall to the bathroom floor was almost surreal. And yet he wasn’t even gone for three days. His wounds were clean, but the blood and filth were caked onto the rest of his body. He doubted that anyone would be able to clean his uniform, but it was torn anyway - he should probably just throw it away or cut it into cleaning rugs. Sharp scent of blood spread through the air as warm water hit his back and ran down his legs. Bathroom quickly filled with mist as Jing Yuan pressed his head against the wall of the shower.
Don’t grieve the dead, but the ones that get left behind by them.
He wasn’t sure what to do now. What to tell the kid when he wakes up, how to deal with all of this. He was both glad that Yanqing ended up here, with them, and absolutely terrified by it. Not a single one of them was good with kids, not to mention the ones that just witnessed horrors of war. And he was the only person he knew here. He was the only familiar thing in all of this and yet he too was a complete stranger. Someone that this kid had to trust to even survive.
He dried his hair with a towel and lazily tied it up in a bun. He didn't have the strength to dry them out completely right now. Clothes stuck to his still damp back and the water still dripped down his neck, but he hardly cared. And yet, even with this stark exhaustion, his steps took him back to the guest room instead of the kitchen. Yanqing was still sleeping soundly as light seeped through the curtains. Jing Yuan looked outside for a second. The sun was lower than he expected, casting long shadows over the capital.
“Mister Jing Yuan?” a small and sleepy voice rang out from behind him, making him freeze for a second. Slowly he let go of the curtain and turned around. Yanqing was looking at him, still curled up on the bed. It seemed that he had just woken up, gaze still unfocused and dreamy.
“Hello, Yanqing” Jing Yuan smiled at the boy and sat down by the bed. Yanqing slowly rubbed his eyes and looked around in confusion.
“Where are we?” he asked, slightly shrinking into himself. Jing Yuan’s heart ached at the fact how fast the kid was ready to just defend himself from everything. It was expected after this tragedy, but…
“This would be my house” he forced a smile back onto his lips, trying to look unmoved. He only hoped that Yanqing will be able to find a safe space here. But his thoughts were interrupted by a loud meow as an orange head moved into his vision, trying to lick the boy’s face. Jing Yuan chuckled as Yanqing jerked back in surprise, eyes wide. “And this would be Pao. I tried to keep him out, but he kept sneaking in. He must really like you” he lifted the cat, deciding to free the boy from the unprompted bath. Pao on the other hand didn’t intend on staying in the air, as he wiggled himself out immediately, returning to Yanqing’s side. Of course. Seems like the boy really will have a bodyguard here.
“You have a cat?” Yanqing looked back at the orange cat as it started to purr loudly in his lap. He seemed to be slightly unsure what to do with this phenomenon. Jing Yuan chuckled at that, petting the mischievous cat.
“Three, actually, and I’m feeding four strays” he said, looking intently at the boy as his eyes bounced between the cat and the rest of the room. “Are you alright?”
“... why am I here?” it was barely a whisper. Jing Yuan really could understand this reaction, but…
“You needed a place to rest and heal. My friend brought you here after he treated your wounds. Your leg is broken so you’ll have to stay here for some time, alright?” he explained patiently, trying to calm the boy down, stop the panic from starting. But it didn't work, as the kid's gaze only filled with so many emotions and tears.
“But… I… I don’t… I…” he choked out, as if trying to form any sort of thought and just… not cry. Jing Yuan quickly placed a hand on his shoulder and started rubbing circles into it.
“Shh, shh” he hummed. “It will be alright. It will be alright, you are safe” but the kid only looked up at him in despair.
“Everyone’s gone, right?” he asked solemnly, but his voice broke in the middle, chin bobbing as he held up tears. Jing Yuan wasn’t sure how to respond to this heavy question. He didn’t expect this so soon, but the trauma of the attack couldn’t be suppressed so easily. He wished he could avoid it, say that, no, everything will be fine. That he doesn’t have to worry about this, that they’ll find every missing person. How to tell this little kid, that should not be going through all of this, that he really did lose everything he once had.
Jing Yuan sighed deeply.
“Unfortunately, we only found you” he said calmly, at least as calm as he could stay. Regret and grief tugged at his heart as he looked into the wide, golden eyes full with tears. “We will be looking for more survivors”
“Mom and dad…” kid wailed, closing his eyes shut, a little bit too forcefully. Jing Yuan's heart shattered.
“I am so sorry, Yanqing” he placed a hand on his head, slowly tracing down his cheek. “It’s okay. Grief is only natural. Cry, Yanqing, it will help you” and so he did. Tears finally overspilled and Yanqing cried outloud, suddenly hugging the lieutenant's neck.
Jing Yuan held him for a really long time. He hoped that maybe the small boy wouldn’t be old enough to understand the concept of death, especially here, on Loufu, but… He lost it all. He watched as everything he had known turned into blood and fire. Even at such a young age he was faced with a reality of death and destruction.
Tears were a good thing, as Jing Yuan stroked his back and ran fingers through his hair. He hoped that he could bring him even the slightest bit of comfort. He was no one, but a stranger to this boy, a soldier that took him away from the rubble of his house.
His limbs were suddenly heavy. He was too young to succumb to mara, but he felt its presence. It was never gone. He hoped that the kid couldn’t feel it at such a young age. He hoped that the grief would not be his demise.
He had no idea how long they sat like this, Yanqing curled in his arms, sobbing. Eventually the cries stopped as the sun behind curtains lowered and his breath calmed. Jing Yuan stroked his hair as the boy fell asleep once again, safe in his arms.
He didn't really want to leave him alone in the room, but both of them really needed sleep. And Jing Yuan hasn't eaten anything since yesterday anyway. He carefully placed the boy back on the mattress and covered him with the sheets. He looked so small in this bed… maybe in a few days Jing Yuan will take him out, to the city, to buy some pillows and plushies. Just to make this huge space more comfortable than just a sad guest room.
He didn't want to leave him here alone, but he was nearly nauseous with hunger at this point and he also needed to sleep. It will be fine. His bedroom was really close and there was no one that would wish to harm the boy in this house. And Yanqing really needed some uninterrupted rest, at least for one night.
He slowly stood up, his body heavy and without strength. He sighed and looked at the cat.
“Come on, Pao, you need to eat too. After that you can come back” the cat stood up reluctantly, looking back at sleeping Yanqing, but eventually joined Jing Yuan in the corridor.