Work Text:
--
My Dearest KSJ,
As I sit here with ink-stained fingers, I find it difficult to calm the tempest within my heart. Each day stretches into an eternity, and my soul is cloaked in a bittersweet longing that consumes me entirely.
In dreams, I reach for you, imagining a world where we share secrets and laughter, where your hand finds mine and time suspends itself just for us.
But with the dawn, I awaken to the weight of my unspoken feelings, the reality that you remain oblivious to the depth of my love.
Your laughter always fills the air with a lightness that lingers long after it fades. It is a symphony that plays on my mind, an echo that lifts my spirits even in my darkest moments. Oh, how I long to be the cause of that laughter, to see it dance across your face, to know it is I who brings you joy.
I am prone to losing myself in a reverie where I am not merely a shadow, but a cherished companion by your side. It is a cruel fate to adore someone so magnificent from afar.
With every breath, I ache for you. I wish you could see the fervor in my heart, the endless possibilities that could bloom in the garden of my affection. If only I could muster the courage to reveal my truth, to lay bare the depths of my devotion.
Should fate allow, I would offer you my heart, my unwavering devotion. But for now, I remain a silent admirer, pining for the one whose laughter rings in my ears and whose smile haunts my nights.
Forever yearning,
KNJ
Seoul, 1865
--
Jin's read the letter four times over in the span of fifteen minutes.
He doesn't know what to do with himself.
Jimin had sent the picture to the group chat late in the night with ‘oh shit guys, almost forgot, look at what we saw in the museum!’
Jin only opened it in the morning, one eye closed and the other barely open and then had promptly fallen off the bed.
He's still on the floor contemplating his life and the dust bunnies he can see under the bed.
His phone pings loudly with an incoming text. After hastily switching his phone to silent mode he opens up the new message.
—
Jimin
It's even got your initials @jin and @namjoon. So cool that there was a 19th century couple who simped just as hard as you guys.
Jungkook
I find it hard to believe someone like Jin would ever evoke emotions to warrant that kind of a letter.
Jimin
Were you not present at dinner last week? Did you not hear Namjoon go on that monologue about how the absence of Jin directly correlated with how much his life sucked?
Jungkook
He said ‘life is soup and I'm a fork’, Jimin. That's hardly profound.
Jimin
That was just one thing! The other stuff was sweet as fuck. Jin had been in Paris for two weeks and Namjoon was going through it. I was in literal tears, Jungkook.
Taehyung
Anyone else think Jimin's obsession with Namjoon and Jin's relationship is a bit problematic?
Jungkook
Me
Hoseok
Me
Jimin
They're my parents. I wouldn't exist without them. I have a right to be obsessed???
Jungkook
Jin turned me but you don't see me acting like a lunatic and if Namjoon hadn't turned you, Yoongi would have. This has been explained to you multiple times.
Taehyung
Can we take a second to imagine Yoongi as Jimin's sire please? I don't know who would have tried to kill whom first.
Jungkook
Yoongi would kill Jimin within two days. Namjoon has the patience of a saint, it's the only reason Jimin still exists.
Jimin
I'm a fucking delight. Namjoon told me this multiple times so fuck you all. Also, I could take Yoongi - a three century old vampire or not.
Taehyung
No you couldn't.
Jungkook
No you couldn't.
Hoseok
No you couldn't.
Jin
No you couldn't.
Yoongi
It's 8 am. Go the fuck to sleep.
Jungkook
Yoongi, how long would it have taken you to murder Jimin in his sleep?
Yoongi removed Jungkook from the group.
Yoongi removed Taehyung from the group.
Yoongi removed Jimin from the group.
Hoseok
So, Jin… how's it going?
Yoongi
Leave him alone and come back to bed.
Hoseok
I'm just getting water,wait. I also want to know if Jin read the letter because that's Joonie's handwriting and we all know it.
Yoongi
Of course he read the letter. I want to know where the museum even found the letter.
Hoseok
Knowing Namjoon, they probably found it in some trash because he threw it away by mistake.
Yoongi
The eon's most profound love letter found in a bag of trash from the 19th century.
Jin
They found it in an old library book, you dicks.
Hoseok
That's not much better…
Yoongi
The eon's most profound love letter found in a book about crabs from the 19th century.
Jin removed Yoongi from the group.
Jin removed Hoseok from the group.
—
Jin
That's not actually him though, right?
Yoongi
It is.
Jin
How can you be sure though?
Yoongi
That's his handwriting Jin.
The kids didn't recognize it cause he stopped using all those cursive flourishes a long time ago - seven decades after they went out of style but still a long time ago.
Jin
Are we sure though?
Yoongi
Yes.
Jin
Are we?
Yoongi
Yes
Jin
??
Yoongi
You can just ask him, you know?
Jin
He's still asleep, I'm not waking him up while I'm in the middle of a crisis.
Yoongi
Yeah why bother
He might not even remember.
Jin
Oh yeah, maybe he won't. It was a long time ago.
Yoongi
… I was kidding.
Jin
?
Yoongi
I don't think he'll have forgotten anything. You should ask him.
Jin
What if it wasn't about me?
Yoongi
He put your initials on it, Jin.
Jin
Maybe another KSJ? Kim Seojoon?
Yoongi
He didn't know any other KSJs then.
Jin
Are we sure about that?
Yoongi
Yes.
Jin
Are we???
Yoongi
I don't know why you're fighting this. The man has loved you ever since he knew what the emotion meant. The letter is for you - I just don't know why it was never delivered to you.
Jin
Because I started dating Yigong.
Yoongi
Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. Namjoon had made pining his entire personality.
Jin
I never knew
Yoongi
What didn't you know?
Jin
That he loved me, let alone liked me.
Jin
Hello?
Jin
How did you know?
Jin
Yoongi?
—
Hoseok
Yoongi flung his phone at the wall and has asked me to tell you he's going back to sleep.
Jin
Did you know Namjoon liked me back then?
Hoseok
Yes.
Jin
Why didn't you tell me?
Hoseok
Namjoon was not subtle. We thought you knew it and had let him down gently so he had to pine from afar or whatever.
Jin
I didn't know, Hobi.
Hoseok
Look outside your window.
Jin
What?
Hoseok
What do you see?
Jin
Uh, flowers?
Hoseok
They're Camellias, your favourite. Namjoon planted them for you and put you in a house that's surrounded by them. Centuries before that he figured out how to grow them in Korea. He. Learnt. How. To. Grow. Them. For. You.
Jin
Yes, but I didn't know then.
Hoseok
He was giving you flowers everyday, Jin. Flowers that were not necessarily supposed to grow in Korea. Because you said you liked them in passing once.
Jin
Okay but why wouldn't he just tell me?
Hoseok
Yigong
Jin
What's he got to do with anything?
Hoseok
You almost married him.
Jin
So?
Hoseok
Goodbye.
Jin
Hobi?
—
Taehyung
How does it feel to be courted by Namjoon?
Jin
Huh? He never courted me.
Taehyung
The letter? He wrote it to you. Jimin and Jungkook are just too dumb to realize it was actually Namjoon.
Jin
How can you even tell it's his letter? It's not.
Taehyung
Remember when I was doing an art history piece for the Seoul Times? Namjoon sent me a bunch of stuff he'd written about art pieces from back then.
Jin
That proves nothing??
Taehyung
Yeah, well I recognize the handwriting.
Jin
…
Taehyung
Do you have more of these letters? Can I read them? For research purposes not because I have the hots for Namjoon's brain or anything
Jin
…
Taehyung
Are you freaking out?
Jin
Maybe?
Taehyung
Why?
Jin
I didn't know he liked me back then. This was written a whole century before we got together.
Taehyung
JsjNzl
—
Jimin
Taehyung is possibly laughing himself to death in our bathroom. He keeps saying ‘oh Jin’, and ‘he's such an ass’. What are you saying to him?
Jin
Nothing, go back to sleep, it’s still early
Jimin
Okay mom.
—
Jungkook
Remember those letters and poems I found at your place all those years ago? Can you send me a photo of one of them?
Jin
Absolutely not, go to sleep
Jungkook
No, send.
Jin
No, why do you even want that??
Jungkook
Because the handwriting on the letter Jimin put up looks a lot like something I've seen somewhere…
Jin
No
Jungkook
Okay so Namjoon did write the letter
Jin
How the fuck did you get to that conclusion?
Jungkook
Why does it sound so depressing though?
Jin
I dunno.
Jungkook
Tell me
Jin
I don't know!
Jungkook
Of course you do
Jin
How do you know I know anything!
Jungkook
I'm your son, I know these things.
Jin
Fucking stop. I'm not your parent.
Jungkook
Oh but it's fine when Jimin says it?
Jin
Jimin's joking.
Jungkook
He really isn't. You guys should do something about that.
Jin
Whatever, go see if Taehyung's okay.
Jungkook
He's fine, Jimin's got him out finally. He'll live.
Jin
K
Jungkook
Was it actually Namjoon who wrote the letter?
Jin
Urgh.
Jungkook
Holy shit!
Jin
What?
Jungkook
What was the date on the poems you have??
Jin
No
Jungkook
Jin, what year were those written in?
Jin
Doesn't matter
Jungkook
One was 1806!
I remember!
That's a whole century or so before you guys hooked up and then fell madly in love
Jin
We didn't hook up
Jungkook
Okay got drunk off your asses and made out till y'all fell asleep together.
Jin
…
Jungkook
I didn't know he liked you way back then too. Weren't you with that idiot, Yigong? The dick who basically left you at the altar to hook up with a neighbour or something?
Jin
He didn't leave me at the altar. We split after the engagement but months before a wedding!
Jungkook
Jimin will be happy to know his parents were in love much before we originally thought they were.
Jin
I didn't know he loved me then.
Jungkook
What do you mean?
Jin
I didn't know he loved me back then
Jungkook
But you had the poems and the letters… You keep the ones he wrote after you guys got together in your library. The ones I found were dated earlier and in your bedside drawer.
Jin
I detest that you went inside my drawer.
Jungkook
Namjoon had asked for nail clippers but that's not the point. I read one before you attacked me. It was very very clear the writer was head over heels for you.
Jin
Was it?
Jungkook
HE WROTE YOU A SHIT TON OF CUTE THINGS!
Jin
HE SAID I INSPIRED HIM!
Jungkook
Yes! So, obviously that means he was in love with you???
Jin
Why is that obvious???
Jungkook
I'm so disappointed. I'm taking away your parental privileges.
Jin
Good.
—
Jimin
Taehyung snitched. Why was Namjoon pining so hard? Huh?
Jimin
Hey, how come you didn't like Namjoon back then? Why was he so depressed?
Jimin
I don't care if you're my mom, I'll have to fite you now.
Jimin
Jin
Jimin
You there?
Jimin
Why wouldn't you love him? He's a goddamn catch in any century!
Jimin
I have questions!
Jimin
I'm coming over.
Jimin
Jungkook here, Taehyung's gonna distract him. You have about an hour max before he shows up there. You're welcome :)
Jin
You're the best non-son to ever son.
Jimin
Obviously. I'll tell Jimin you said that to me <3
—
Jin closes his eyes to try and ground himself. It doesn't help but the black feels calming.
He remembers Namjoon teaching him some brain-emptying exercises and tries to do them. He can barely remember step one but he knows closing his eyes was a must. He lays still too, in case that was a step he forgot and tries thinking of emptiness.
He reckons he's spent five minutes thinking ‘empty, empty, empty’ before he gives up and lets the thoughts overtake him.
He can't believe he'd been so blind.
He and Namjoon were born two years apart. Their parents were best friends so they spent almost every waking hour together. When Namjoon got sick Jin had been by his bedside the whole time. When the doctors had told them of a new medicine the world was trying, Jin was there. When Namjoon had fucking dropped dead, he'd gone down in Jin's arms. When he'd come back as something less than human, Jin was the first person he'd seen.
Jin has been by Namjoon's side since day one and he has no excuse for his obliviousness.
Fucking hell, Namjoon had turned him when he'd gotten sick too.
Without you, immortality will just be an endless quest to find a semblance of you - Namjoon had said Jin had brushed it off with his fever-addled brain.
I was so stupid.
“Whatchu doin?” he hears and his eyes snap open.
Namjoon's head is peering over the side of the bed and even though he looks incredibly goofy with his hair sticking up in all directions, Jin's sure his heart stops for a second in fright.
The resulting shriek is loud and he watches Namjoon's eyes go wide in panic.
“Why are you on the floor?” Namjoon asks after Jin's heart is beating normally and he has flung a pillow at Namjoon.
“I fell off.” Jin says. He scrambles up and Namjoon is looking at him weirdly.
“How'd you manage that?” He asks, looking over Jin worriedly, arms reaching out to him. Jin flops into his chest because he knows that will distract him.
Right enough, the man hesitates for a second but then goes straight for the jugular and busies himself with trying to leave another mark there while the rest of his body winds around Jin.
Jin's got approximately two minutes until he's useless enough to forget how to speak so he has to push Namjoon away.
Namjoon moves, not far, but far enough to look at Jin properly. “What's wrong?” He asks.
And Namjoon's looking at him with a look that Jin understands immediately. It's the look that says ‘ok, I've clocked that something is on your mind and I'm here if you want to talk but I'm not going to push.’
They've been together centuries now and Jin's learned what each furrow in Namjoon's brow means, what each quirk of his lip means and what each and every unspoken word means.
All because he's known Namjoon since he was born and, somehow, he still managed to miss the glaringly obvious fact that Namjoon had loved him for what seems like most of their lives.
“How come you never told me you loved me?” He asks. It comes off as vaguely accusatory but Namjoon's too confused to pick that up.
“Pretty sure I told you last night –” and Jin has to groan. Maybe he should have been more clear.
“Not now!” He groans. “All those centuries ago! When we were young! Human!
“I don't know what you mean.” Namjoon says but he's guilty now. He's using the same voice that he uses when he says stuff like “I followed the recipe exactly! I don't know why the pudding is salty.”
Jin has receipts this time. He shows Namjoon his phone and its set to the image Jimin had sent to the group.
Namjoon's barely read the initials on the page before he looks up and goes. “Fucking knew this would come to bite me in the ass one day.”
“Wait, you remember writing this?” Jin has to ask because his Namjoon regularly forgets to buy milk after being texted twice.
“Uh. Yeah.” Namjoon says, now reading through even faster. “I remember putting it in a book and loaning it to a friend by mistake.” Now that's more like his Namjoon.
“Never saw it again - where'd you even get this?” he asks, finally looking at Jin.
“It's on display at the Korean National Museum.” He's not proud of it but he feels a bit better watching Namjoon lose his shit.
“WHAT?” Namjoon shrieks, voice four whole octaves higher than normal. He scrambles out of bed and sits by the edge to look at Jin's phone again as if reading through the letter there will suddenly take it out of the museum.
Then he flings Jin's phone back on the bed and goes for his on the side table as if that's going to make what Jin said any less true.
“Shit, you're not joking.” he says and drops his phone into his lap to drag his hands down his face. Jin has to practically dive to save it from crashing to the floor. He overbalances and goes to steady himself on Namjoon's shoulder but obviously the guy is sitting weirdly so they both end up on the floor, phone thankfully unbroken.
His undead bones are not going to be happy with him. “Namjoon, this is your second phone in the last six months.” He huffs and tries to shove Namjoon off him but the man just lays groaning on top of Jin.
Jin worries he got himself hurt but that's not the issue apparently.
“How the hell am I supposed to get it back now?” Namjoon wails. “I'll have to tell them it was me and work is going to be so embarrassing.”
Holy shit.
Jin laughs. Once, twice and then he's just shaking so hard with the force of his laughs that Namjoon has to crawl off him so he can breathe. “I forgot you worked there!” He says after a good minute of Namjoon pouting at him.
“How come you didn't see the new exhibits?” He asks, still giggling. Namjoon's a research consultant for the museum and sometimes they invite him to curate collections. So, it is a valid ask but it has Namjoon groaning and pouting harder.
“Sejin just said it came as a personal collection from Jeju and they were going to put it on display as is.” Namjoon says from where he's steadily dissolving on the floor.
“They called it ‘The Tenderness Chronicles’ which I think is super cute.” Jin says, patting Namjoon's head.
Namjoon groans again. “I helped him with the naammmmeeeee.” He complains, facedown and muffled and Jin bursts into laughter again.
“Why didn't you ask to see it, though?” Jin asks, moving Namjoon's head so it could rest on his stomach. “It sounds exactly like something you'd want to see.”
Namjoon wails properly again and his head falls off Jin because he curls into a ball. He wails again. Jin wants to laugh at the dramatics but he perseveres.
“I was going to take you there on our date.” Namjoon wails.
And Jin is gone.
It was Namjoon's turn to plan for date night and since it coincided with Jin coming back from a two week shoot, Jin had his hopes up - Namjoon had a reputation for going all out after all.
And to think he had accidentally planned a date to the museum to show Jin a letter he himself had written was epic!
“It was supposed to be cute!” Namjoon moans.
Jin is absolutely sure it would have been hella cute but for the moment he cannot breathe and as such cannot tell Namjoon that.
When Jin finally comes up for air Namjoon is still curled up in a ball beside him. His hair is still a mess, his pajamas are all rucked up in places and he can tell Namjoon's still pouting hard.
Jin's just so in love.
It takes a little effort but eventually he gets behind Namjoon so he can get his arms and legs around him. Namjoon's still grumbling about his luck so Jin squeezes and tight as he can.
“I'm sorry I never noticed, Joon-ah.” Jin says, nose buried deep in Namjoon's shoulder blades. Namjoon stiffens. “I'm sorry I wasted all that time.”
Immediately Namjoon tries to twist in his hold and Jin lets him. When they're finally face to face Namjoon's hands come up to gently hold Jin's face and his thumbs are brushing off tears Jin didn't even know he was crying.
“I never thought it was a waste of time.” Namjoon says, his voice all mushy soft. “I was just too scared to have my heart broken so I left it that way cause even the littlest interactions with you were more than enough. I wouldn't have been able to handle rejection back then.”
“Maybe I wouldn't have, Joon.” Jin says, unsure of his own words. “Maybe we could have been perfect from the start.”
Namjoon laughs and pulls Jin in so every bit of them is pressed together. “I always felt you would have just let me down easy.” Jin wants to protest but he can't be sure. He wasn't the most in touch with any of his feelings when he was younger. “That was probably me overthinking but it felt important at the time.”
Jin's fully aware he's crying now, soaking through Namjoon's soft shirt. He can't even try and say Namjoon was wrong to think that way. It was entirely possible he would have brushed Namjoon off and maybe that would have ended up with them barely speaking to each other. He's sure that would have eventually killed him but he's still not sure he would have given Namjoon a chance.
And he feels horrible about it.
“Why are you crying?” Namjoon sounds baffled but he's still holding on tight because he knows what kind of comfort Jin needs.
“I'm just upset, mostly at myself.” Jin says. “I don't know how I would have reacted to this information back then and it's annoying.”
“Ah well, I think the matter is obsolete, don't you?” Namjoon asks but doesn't wait for any response. “We're together now, why worry about maybes?”
“We could've just as easily never made it together, Joon.” Jin complains, “all because I couldn't see what was right in front of me.”
“Jin, you asked me out on a date first.” Namjoon says pulling away so he can look at Jin. Jin's all snotty but Namjoon has seen worse so he doesn't bother.
“Yes but only after you gave me two mind-blowing orgasms.” Jin says, getting annoyed at himself again. No one but Yoongi knew they'd actually done way more than just make out at that party. “Why the hell did you say yes, I was such a mess!”
“I said no, if you remember correctly. I was petrified you'd propose casual sex and my heart would not withstand that. I couldn't even deal with the possibility that we might eventually break up. You must realize I had also had some mind-altering orgasms by then so I was not thinking properly.” Namjoon laughs. “Then you spent a long time trying to woo me. I still have those poems you wrote, by the way - still amazed at how many puns you'd managed to put in there.”
Jin groans, he had pursued Namjoon for a while before he'd actually given in. There had been some notable shenanigans he had gotten up to but the punny love letters were his favorite. Doesn't mean they were not embarrassing though.
“Why'd you finally agree to go on that date then?” Jin asks.
“Remember that research paper I was writing?” Namjoon asks.
Jin doesn't, Namjoon's written too many so he shakes his head.
“Yeah, well, it was important and you had just barged in with lunch for me. But I looked like shit and I was panicking so you got all serious and made me go take a shower. Then you fed me while I wrote and watched me cry in panic. You were averaging six jokes a minute and then you put me to bed and went to submit the paper. Mr. Chang apologized for the tight deadline the next day because apparently you had yelled at him.”
Jin only vaguely remembers yelling at someone. “Why the hell was that the incident that changed your mind?”
“I'm not sure, but I woke up hours later and you were passed out on chair with drool on your face and I just decided you were worth braving the unknown for.” Namjoon says.
“There was no drool, Joon.” Jin says because he can't think of anything else to say.
“Jin, you had to borrow my suit jacket because yours had a huge wet patch on the shoulder.” Namjoon says, then he looks away wistfully. “You never gave it back, it was my favorite.”
Jin thinks Namjoon could stand to lose a few memories. “It looked better on me."
“Damn right.” Namjoon says and pulls him closer so he can kiss him.
Jin has one more question. “Still worth the unknown?”
Namjoon smiles so big his eyes almost shut completely. “Always.”
Jin thinks he smiles equally big before leaning closer to kiss the man who's had his heart for literal centuries.
It's soft and chaste and everything their first kiss wasn't but Jin still feels all the electricity of it nonetheless.
“I'm so happy you love me.” he whispers between kisses and Namjoon doesn't say anything but he's smiling as he kisses him back and that's enough really.
There's an almighty sniff then and Jin freezes.
“That was too sweet.” Jimin says, voice wet and full of feeling from where his head is popping over the side of the bed.
Jin shrieks again and Namjoon has to hold his arms down so he doesn't clock the guy in the face.
“I totally knew you guys hooked up that day.” Jungkook says and he pops over the edge too, face full of a shit-eating grin.
“Can we read the letters Jin wrote to you joon? For science” Taehyung asks and Jin wants to yell but Namjoon still has his hands secure and it sounds like he's laughing.
“Get out of my house you heathens.” He manages.
“We're hungry, actually.” Jungkook says “Can we have some breakfast?”
“No.” Jin says, trying to get his hands free. “Get out of my house.”
“Can we have some breakfast Joon?” Jimin simpers and both Taehyung and Jungkook's grins get bigger somehow. They know they've won.
“Sure.” Namjoon says. “I know there's pancake mix in the fridge. Go get that ready, we'll be right there.”
Jin deflates. “We're changing the passcodes today.” He tuts but Namjoon is already getting up and bringing Jin with him. "I was really looking forward to a pre breakfast orgasm.”
“I'll give you two later.” Namjoon laughs and leans in to leave a small kiss on Jin's cheek. “Faster they get fed, the faster they'll leave. It's okay, we've got lots of time.”
Damn straight.
They've got forever.