Chapter Text
“Okay everyone gather up!”
I look up from my phone when I hear Niko’s voice. The others form a circle with him. Joel, Aleksi, Tommi, Joonas and Olli. I wonder how it feels to be so close to so many people. They travel so much together that the band is like another family to them.
The men wrap their arms around each other’s shoulders. They remind me of some sports teams, who hype each other up right before an important match. “Is everyone here now?” Niko ensures. “Sade is missing”, Olli says. They all look at me. I feel a little uncomfortable under their gaze.”Come join us”, Aleksi encourages. “But I’m not one of you”, I say a bit unsure. “Yes you are. From the moment we found you”, Joonas says. I smile a little. It feels nice to hear that. I notice how something warm flutters around my heart.
“Fine”, I give in and stand up. I find my place in between Joonas and Olli. They both wrap their arms around my shoulders and it really makes me feel like I am part of their group. My body tenses a bit, but I can manage that. I throw my arms around their shoulders as well. I notice how a small electric sensation runs through my skin as my arm brushes the curls on Olli’s neck. I quickly ignore the feeling.
"Alright guys, this is our next to last gig on this tour. We’re gonna kick some ass tonight, right?” Niko hypes others up. I try to concentrate on his words but soon my focus starts to wonder. I look at the others. Joel seems to hype himself up in his mind. I do that too. Or did. Now I think I don’t know how to do it anymore.
Tommi seems to be lost in his thoughts as well. Aleksi smiles at me when our eyes meet and I smile back. Joonas is almost jumping up and down, that boy never runs out of energy.
Lastly I move my eyes to Olli. He looks mostly like he is just waiting to get to the stage. Excited. I wonder if any of these guys are even slightly nervous or do they just cover it really well.
“Put your hands in the middle” Niko then says. Hands disappear from my shoulders and settle in the middle of the circle. I follow. Olli’s hand is next to mine and I can only think how perfectly they’d fit together. Really well actually, I think but dismiss the thought then. They are just two hands from two different people, nothing special about that.
“At three” Niko says and I have no idea what happens then. He counts and then they start to shout the same way they do in “Dark Side”. Hoo,hoo,hoo. That’s how it sounds. At the same time they move their hands up and my hand brushes Olli’s hand. I literally jump backwards. It feels like I’d got an electric shock. My cheeks burn and I glance at him but he is already turned to hug Aleksi. I sigh relieved. Luckily he did not notice.
Then the guys start to walk towards the stairs that lead to the stage. I feel like I should go and wish Olli good luck. I owe that to him. He has helped me so much already and I’ve done nothing in return. I hesitate and hesitate and hesitate. Olli has already started to walk towards the others, wearing his black-and-red shirt and pants. Just get in there you coward, I say to myself in my mind. And then I go.
“Olli!” I draw his attention to me. Olli turns around to face me and fuck how good he looks wearing eyeliner and that outfit. Then he raises his eyebrow at me and smirks and I start to have second thoughts about my decision.”Just that…” I start and swallow then. I need to get my shit together. “ Break a leg out there!” I manage to say. “Thanks!” Olli smiles at me, “You’ll be there in the front row, right?” And then he leans even closer, the audacity of that man, and adds with that low voice of his: “Don’t forget to wear the sunglasses, I think they’d bring me even more luck”. My cheeks are red now. “You’ll have to wait and see”, I manage to answer. “I’ll take that” Olli smirks, “I’ll see you after the show”. Then he turns around and joins the others and I quickly sneak out of the backstage into the crowd.
The venue is packed which is quite logical since the gig is about to start. I scan the place and notice that there’s just enough room in the front row, on the very, very right side. I dash to the spot and lean against the barricade feeling relieved. Luckily people tend to pack in the middle even though there’d still be room on the sides. I touch the Olli-glasses on top of my head to make sure they're still there after dashing. I notice that the girls from the line are standing next to me and I smile at them. They return it.
Then the lights dim and everyone starts to shout. Deadzone’s intro starts to play and the band appears on stage, one by one.
Then Olli walks on the stage and the girls next to me scream. Soon he stands before us and the song finally starts. I feel the same joy that I always feel at gigs. It is almost like an electric energy in my body. It feels like sunlight, power surge, warmth.
I am enchanted by how Olli plays his bass. He moves agile despite his instrument and his fingers dance on the strings at the same pace. He has a little smile on his lips and his curls jump with every movement of his head. I suddenly understand why the girls next to me are so excited about the bassist.
And then the song is over and I become aware of my surroundings again. Niko hypes the crowd up and I shout with them. Next the men start to play Where’s The Exit. I watch how Niko and Joel move on the stage together. They seem to be almost always in the same place, in sync. Joonas is all around the stage, jumping with his guitar. I find myself smiling.
Niko makes eye contact with me a lot, but he tends to do that with the crowd. However the man does not show that he has noticed me or that he knows me. He should try his luck in poker.
When the gig goes on I find my eyes somehow always traveling back to Olli. He seems to have this magnetic aura, which makes everyone near him fall under his spell. It’s almost impossible to look away. The girls next to me jump and down, staring at him adoringly. Not that I’d be any better myself.
During Over My Dead Body Olli starts to point people from the crowd randomly. Eventually his gaze lands on me.
You can have it if you want it
Olli now points at me with a little amused smirk on his lips.
Over my dead body
He then taps his own chest while singing the lyrics. I grin back. Olli’s gaze lingers on me for a little longer than on the other people he's been pointing at. Then he breaks eye contact and starts to dance wildly with his bass again.
The girls next to me look at me excitedly and I offer them a smile. “Lucky you”, the blonde girl mouths to me. And in this particular moment I actually do feel lucky.
When Olli next time looks in my direction, I put on the sunglasses so they now cover my eyes, and I see a small smile on the corner of Olli’s mouth.