Chapter Text
Author's note,Don't skip this!!!
Before you read this chapter, I want to warn you that there is a little bit of BDSM and wax play coming up. My warning is not about the scene, but about my writing. The only experience I have with the ‘male species’ is ‘holding his hand’ and yet I have the audacity to write this! If the sex scenes aren't that practical, or if it feels a little bit unnatural like a wild imagination - please don't judge me, because it is just my imagination! And please please don't try this at home! I have no idea whether it's dangerous or not! (I have put the scene which I think to be dangerous between 5 asterisks (*****) )
And also Tantai Jin and Li Susu have a healthy discussion about their likes and dislikes, and that conversation seems so hypothetical and is very unlikely to happen in real life scenarios, I know.
Just.. just treat this chapter like something written by a 13 -year old who has 0 practical information on how real life sexual relationships work.
Also this pic isn't LYX or BL 's but it is from a Korean MV 'Monsters under Bed.' I added this photo because it's vibes matches the fic.
A wall full of her photos. Her in random places, in random attires. There were a couple of photos of her with Xiao Lin too, with Xiao Lin ‘s face scribbled with red marker. Those photos seem to be one year old. There were photos of the places they used to visit - like cafes and parks. There were various notes scribbled in both Chinese and English beside each of those photos, and Li Susu didn't want to read them.
“What the…” Li Susu gasped. “Were you trying to kill me for one year? Why do you have so many details about me?”
Tantai Jin walked past her and caressed each of her photos with a smile. It was actually scary, his face was happy like a toddler caressing his favourite toy. “Each and every one of them, I captured with my own hands. Li Susu, I took every photo on this wall! Ain’t I amazing? I have some great photographic skills.”
For the first time in her life, Li Susu felt scared of Tantai Jin. She knew many dirty secrets about him, she knew that he had an enormous kill count. She also knew a little bit about his sadistic pleasure in torturing his victims. None of them had really scared Li Susu, but this insane smile really creeped her out.
“So, were you planning to kill me?” Li Susu repeated her question.
“What, No! Li Susu, to kill someone, I never personally collect their details. I just entrust Jing Mie or Nian Baiyu to research on them. You… you are special, I collected so much details on you myself because…” He stretched his both hands wide as if to embrace the wall. “I love you!”
I should be afraid. This… this is not normal! This is insane! Li Susu swallowed when she realised that she was getting aroused by his confession. What the Hell?
“When you started dating Xiao Lin, Ye Qingyu got worried about your choice. So he asked me to follow you guys.” Tantai Jin continued. “Initially, I just followed you guys to make sure that Xiao Lin was your right choice, but eventually my focus deviated to you. I started being obsessed with you.”
Li Susu’s eyes started tearing up. “ Did Qin- gege know that Xiao Lin was a bad person?” Her voice shivered. Hearing that, Tantai Jin approached her and brushed away her tears with his thumb.
“No, he was just being suspicious like any elder brother.” Tantai Jin replied.
And those suspicions turned right. Li Susu didn't want to talk more about that so she just asked the most important question: “Then why didn't you approach me to date me, back then?”
“How could I ask for a date normally, when I already knew that you were taken?” Tantai Jin was surprised by her question. “There were only two ways for me to claim you back then. One was to kill Xiao Lin, the other one was to kidnap you and to lock you up in this penthouse forever!”
Li Susu shuddered by hearing those options. It was quite normal for Tantai Jin, not for her! “You didn't have to choose the extremes!” Li Susu looked at his eyes. “You could convince me through some evidence that Xiao Lin was a piece of crap!”
“ Back then there wasn't any evidence. Xiao Lin was very careful, and I actually did think he was good at heart. Even if he was like that, I was so jealous and possessive, and I used to think about doing those two options all the time!”
“Then why didn't you do that?” Li Susu felt so emotional for some reason. “You are the invincible Man of Tantai Mafia, who won't hesitate to kill or kidnap, why couldn't you just do that?”
“Either way, it’ll make you sad.” Tantai Jin replied. “You are so pure that you’ll spend the rest of the time waiting for Xiao Lin if he disappears in suspicious circumstances, you’ll never move on if he is dead. And If I had kidnapped you, you’ll never forgive me.” Tantai Jin sighed. Li Susu shut her eyes in self -disgust because nothing he told was untrue! Li Susu was a naive girl who would do all of that!
“But I still had other ways to make you mine.” Tantai Jin continued. “I could fabricate events to make you believe that Xiao Lin isn't worthy…”
“And I wouldn't have believed in any of them.” Li Susu continued from where Tantai Jin stopped.
“Yeah.” Tantai Jin ran his finger through the scribbled face of Xiao Lin in one of the couple's photos. “Moreover, I thought I shouldn't come into your life. I was jealous and it hurted me so much that you decided to marry him, but I just couldn't stop you from getting married to another person.”
“Why?”
“I'm a Criminal, Li Susu. I have killed many people. And tortured many more. I walk freely because I have a bunch of trustworthy subordinates who get rid of all the evidence. For the people outside, the Tantai Mafia is just a myth which exists in China! (He is famous in China because of the business he owns, but the existence of the Mafia is just in rumours)But this peaceful situation won't last long. I may go into exile, I may get arrested. How could I invite you to my life knowing that I'm inviting you to hell? All these things aside, I lack empathy like normal human beings, I didn't want to break you with my own hands!”
Li Susu took a deep breath. “If you were this self aware, why did you kiss me?”
“I was being selfish. I can't guarantee a beautiful and stable future with you, but as long as I'm here ; with you - I want to be yours.” Tantai Jin replied. “So that kiss wasn't an impulsive mistake from my side, but was something I longed for two years. But the future this intimacy brings may hurt both of us.” Tantai Jin paused and returned to caress the photos on his walls. “Li Susu, the door is open. Run away from me if you want.” His voice became lower.
Li Susu didn't move. Tantai Jin turned to see that she was looking at him with her doe eyes, and his voice became a little bit hoarse. “Li Susu, I don't intend to have a casual relationship with you, I want to marry you. If you don't want to be stuck with a criminal, please leave the room right now.” He warned.
“Tantai Jin, even if I run away, you’ll catch me.” Li Susu replied as if she recognised something. “Tantai Jin, tell me honestly. If Xiao Lin had never betrayed me, what would you do? Will you remain as an unrequited lover and watch us having a family from far afar? Will your obsession allow you to do that?”
Tantai Jin smiled proudly. “My little flower recognises me the way I am! Yeah that's true, my possessive side was already planning something nasty to break your marriage, but Xiao Lin did it on his own!”
Li Susu felt chills over her body. This man was capable of anything. “I don't get you. You asked me to run away from you, yet wanted to break my marriage. What exactly do you want?”
“ When I learnt that you are getting married, I didn't reject that idea because I actually wanted to see whether any other man could cherish you -if any man could give you a great future more than what I could give you.But only now I realised that the only man who could cherish you is me. Li Susu, marrying me would definitely take you to hell, but I could be the devil who would serve you like a slave. If you don't intend to marry me -it's fine I understand, run away from me.But don't marry anyone again! Be mine with or without marrying me! And if you marry anyone else, I would do anything to break that marriage!”
Li Susu was too stunned to speak. What can she say now? Tantai Jin was like a sea, and she was like a river. Her marriage with Xiao Lin was never going to stop him from making her his. He was just unsure whether he could give her a stable future and his dilemma delayed him from making a wise decision. He tried his best to control his obsession, but in the end - he couldn't just do it! How cute! ( If it was a normal Li Susu , she would have fainted on how creepy Tantai Jin really is and would have run away the farthest from him. But she wasn't thinking right now. Her broken marriage has already affected her normal thinking senses.)
“I don't think I can marry anyone after that heartbreak”. Li Susu finally spoke. “But I want to use you, Tantai Jin.”
Tantai Jin's face was a little smug. “ How do you plan to use me? I am willing to be used!”
“I’ll forget Xiao Lin using your body.” Li Susu swallowed. “And if I could forget about his betrayal, I'm willing to marry you. I don't care about marrying a criminal or a prisoner. As long as you won't cheat, I'm fine with anything.” Li Susu was astonished that such shameless things came impulsive from her mouth.
“Oh, my flower, real men never cheat.I'm manly enough to not to cheat on my beloved. And I can assure you that you'll forget him forever if you sleep with me once.” Tantai Jin assured. “ That being said, I have an important thing to discuss.” He approached Li Susu.
“I'm all ears.” Li Susu looked at him.
“Li Susu, my way of loving and being loved is not normal. It's a bit painful. I…” Tantai Jin stuttered for the first time. “I am equally sadistic and masochistic.”
“You mean you are into BDSM?” Li Susu asked bravely.
“I don't know, I have never had sex before. No woman excited me in that way, but I .. I kinda feel excited when I whip my victims. I like other people's pain. But I won't be able to hurt you.” Tantai Jin looked at his hands as if he actually hurted her. “Ahhh… this drives me crazy! I don't know whether I’ll find pleasure in whipping my woman like I do on my enemies, but I'm not brave to try it because I don't want to hurt you.!”
Li Susu smiled. “Your dilemmas are so funny Tantai Jin. You wanted to marry me, but you were afraid to invite me into your life and delayed a very beautiful moment in our life.” Li Susu paused. “Let's not make that mistake now. I’ll help you with this dilemma. Do you have a particular preference in inflicting pain on me, like do you prefer to use a whip? Or is it fine anyway?”
Tantai Jin thought about it. “I think it's fine. The point is to see you in pain.” Li Susu shuddered at that statement, he really speaks like a serial killer! But she mustered her courage and told him. “ You can drop wax on me. I'm comfortable with little burns.”
“How would you be comfortable with burns?” Tantai Jin retorted, but seeing her eyes distant, he understood the answer. Ye Family.
“Tantai Jin, the pain in BDSM is not the way you think. It's painful, but it's pleasurable too! I don't think you would get sadistic pleasure by inflicting pain on me!” Li Susu warned.
“I understand. So…I’ll use wax play on you. And in return you should whip me” Tantai Jin said.
“Wha- what? I don't have a sadistic pleasure in whipping people!” Li Susu retorted.
“I am a sadist, but I enjoy pain too. The more pain , the happier I ‘ll be. Li Susu, won't you give me the pleasure?”
Li Susu swallowed. So am I really going to do this? I ‘m going insane! She nodded agreeingly.
“Wait for tomorrow night.” Tantai Jin winked. “The tools to punish(pleasure) me are already ready, the whip and handcuffs are already there in my store room. What I don't have is a candle. We can't use random candles, we should use Safe - Temperature ones.”
Li Susu was going to ruin beyond her control. She didn't mind it.
The next night, Li Susu entered Tantai Jin ‘s torture room which was lit up with red lights. The room was vacant when she entered before,but Tantai Jin had put a comfortable mattress on the floor.Tantai Jin had all his tools ready and Li Susu swallowed a lump in her throat after seeing them. Li Susu expected to see a pink fluffy handcuff , but she was welcomed by the sight of actual metallic handcuffs. The whip, the chains, everything lacked the fluffy-sexual element in it. The whole room looked like a butcher shop.“Tantai Jin.” Her breath hitched. “They aren't fancy ones….they are real ones?”
“I like experiencing real torture.” Tantai Jin simply stated.
How am I going to torture him like this? Li Susu started getting a little bit nervous. She could never do that! Maybe, if she experiences the pain first, she might be able to inflict pain on him too. “Tantai Jin, can you start from me?” She asked.
“Are you sure? I thought you would need time to prepare for the pain.” Tantai Jin replied.
Why is he talking like he is going to pour concentrated acid on me? Li Susu took a sharp breath. “Tantai Jin, be chivalrous. A Lady’s pleasure comes first.”
“If you say so.” Tantai Jin turned off the red lights and switched on the normal lights. “The wax I bought looks pretty in normal lights.” He pulled up a blood- red candle and lit it. He then dripped a little wax on the floor, it looked like blood because of its colour and texture.
“You are obsessed with blood.” Li Susu remarked nervously.
“Sorry, did that scare you? I’ll buy luminous ones next time. They are so pretty, they shine in the dark.” Tantai Jin smiled affectionately.
Li Susu smiled and looked at the door on the floor which opened to the basement. “Tantai Jin, do you have someone locked in there?”
Tantai Jin ‘s smile disappeared for a moment. “Why do you want to know?”
“It feels weird. They’ll be able to hear all the noises we make, right?”
Tantai Jin gave an amused laugh. “Baobei, do you think that I would allow anyone to hear your melodious moans? There are people beneath, but they are in no condition to hear a thing.”
This should scare me right? Li Susu thought. Tantai Jin indirectly told her that the basement may have dead guys in it , that means beneath the floor she stands.Then, why does she feel so excited and turned on by that? Did she lose her mind?
As the flower shaped candle started to produce more wax, Tantai Jin slowly made her lay on the mattress with sweet and soft kisses on her face and neck. He then placed the candle on the little stool beside the mattress, and mounted on top of her. He started to undress her slowly, without stopping his kisses. When she was completely naked under him, Tantai Jin stopped to admire her.
“Li Susu..” His voice had a timber. “You are a Goddess!”
Li Susu covered her face with both hands in embarrassment. “Stop saying such things!” She begged.
“I'm going to worship your body with my mouth and hands.” He then kissed her neck and sucked some spots. He then went down, kissing and marking her chest, abdomen and inner thighs. He then delicately ran his fingers through her folds.
“Tantai Jin.” Li Susu moaned with her hands still on her face. Tantai Jin pinched one of her labia in response. “Susu,look at me.” Li Susu groaned and shook her head disagreeing. She was so wet that Tantai Jin ‘s finger slipped inside easily. She moaned his name again, this time taking hands from her face and clutching the bedsheet. “Good girl.” Tantai Jin added one more finger to appreciate her. Eventually he added one more finger - a total 3 in her cunt and Li Susu lost it when he started using his tongue to please her. Li Susu came.
Tantai Jin pulled out his fingers and licked his hands -coated with her nectar-clean. “My Goddess blessed me with her divine essence, I shouldn't waste it.” He was speaking to himself. Li Susu covered her face in embarrassment again.
“That won't do. Don't cover your face.” Tantai Jin, using his left arm, pinned Li Susu's both hands above her head. Her face had a very attractive pink blush after her orgasm. Tantai Jin kissed her swollen lips again. Then he, using his right hand, took the candle and dropped wax over her abdomen.
Li Susu didn't feel pain. There was a stinging sensation, but the heat of wax was pleasant, unlike normal candle wax. She smiled.
Tantai Jin stopped dropping wax on her. “Li Susu, I can't do this… I understood that I can't take sadistic pleasure when it comes to you… I simply can't hurt you!” Tantai Jin released her arms and stretched his arm to keep the candle back on the stool. His hand was grabbed by Li Susu.
“I didn't say that I was in pain, I was smiling.Why are you discouraged?”
“I don't trust your reactions, you smile when you are deeply sad.”
“No, the wax didn't hurt like I have experienced before. It… it felt good.” Li Susu caressed Tantai Jin ‘s face which was hovering on top of hers. “Don't stop. Offer candles for your goddess.”
Tantai Jin dripped wax on her right nipple. It hurted a little, but the pleasure felt so good! He then repeated the same on her left nipple. Li Susu moaned loudly and Tantai Jin ‘s member hardened.
After painting her whole torso with blood red wax, Tantai Jin sat up to see his artwork. Li Susu had pink blush and hickeys all over her body, and the red wax over her body was just like a marvellous painting! Tantai Jin smiled proudly.
*****
“Tantai Jin, can put the wax down there too?” Li Susu asked.
“Down where, name it.” Tantai Jin commanded.
“On my pussy.” Li Susu asked.
“You are greedy, my little flower. But I don't think it's safe to stick wax in your genitals!” Tantai Jin stated facts.
“Who cares about such things while doing it?” Li Susu murmured.
“I care! You are not my sex toy.!”
Li Susu groaned desperately. “Fine.” - Tantai Jin sighed and pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket - the one he never used, but carried with him as a fancy material. He placed it over Li Susu cunt carefully, ensuring that her pussy was well covered by the handkerchief. He then dripped wax on it.
Li Susu moaned, feeling the warmth on her labia and clitoris. “Are you satisfied, my little flower?” Tantai Jin purred into her ear.
*****
“Yes.” Li Susu panted into his ears. Tantai Jin couldn't hold back anymore, he unbuttoned his pants and freed his throbbing member. He threw away the handkerchief which was placed on her cunt and thrusted into her. Each thrust into her was deepened than the previous one, leaving both of them breathless. Soon, they reached the peak and hugged each other desperately.
When both of them regained their composure, Tantai Jin stood up and unbuttoned his shirt. He then stripped himself naked and sat on the stool. “Li Susu, handcuff me and whip me.” He demanded.
“You are pretty weird to ask for whipping as aftercare.” Li Susu stood up from her bed .
“After care?” Tantai Jin laughed. “Baobei, we’ll do aftercare when we finish this. Now I'm asking you to initiate our second round.”
Li Susu handcuffed him. Then she used the whip very delicately, afraid to hurt him.
“Baobei, harder. Whip me like I am your horse.”
Li Susu crossed her fingers and whipped harder. Tantai Jin groaned and rolled his eyes, feeling the pleasure. “Again.” He demanded. Li Susu whipped him again. The whipping repeated until his beautiful skin was marked with red bruises.
“Li Susu, sit on my lap.” Tantai Jin gave instructions. Li Susu obeyed him, sitting on his erection slowly, facing him. Tantai Jin threw his hand- cuffed arms around her to hug her, drawing her closer to his chest. He pounded into Li Susu mercilessly till she slumped onto his chest.
“Li Susu.” He called out. “Look at your right.” Li Susu looked at her right to see the mirror. “Look at both of us painted in red, aren't we a couple made in heaven?” Tantai Jin smiled affectionately. Li Susu looked at her body which was tinged in red due to the candle wax, and his body which was tinged in red due to marks from her whipping.
They are a match made in Hell - with pain being the main drive uniting them. Li Susu was astonished to realise that she enjoyed pain.She considered herself as a sweet girl who has to be pampered with delicate kisses, but that seems not to be the case!
It's scary that Tantai Jin makes her reveal her wild faces. They were truly a match made in hell.